Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[Jett55]

Why oh why do I always click on the IVF articles online? I always know it will shoot my blood pressure through the roof reading the comments. Dear fertile religious nuts who pop kids out like pez dispensers, not everyone is lucky to have a perfectly working reproductive system STFU!

edit: I don't mean all religious people, just the ones that are too stubborn in their ways to think that the only way a child should be conceived is via sex between man and wife that anything else should be forever shamed. I know many religious people who are pro IVF.

. It's funny cuz I went to church with a lady who did IVF because her husband and her were having too much trouble conceiving so I find people who are against it full of crap and mostly have no knowledge of it. But I swear I notice how its always the religious ppl who have like 10 kids and it really irks me. I'm not trying to bash any religion I'm just stating how its the religious ppl who have a ton of kids especially where im from

 

[mbish]

Sorry, another rant, but I guess that's what this thread is for, right? I can't stand reading or hearing that "normal, healthy couples can take up to 12 months to conceive." I think it's supposed to make people feel better as they're trying, but it has the opposite effect for me. Every month that goes by, and I inevitably get closer and closer to the 12 month mark, it's like this huge, horrible red neon sign that's blinking, and when/if I actually hit the 12 month mark, that means that I'm probably going to accept that something is wrong, sigh.

 

[Hopeful_2013]

Hello ladies, I am new to forums.

I am having one of those days and I just want to get all this frustration out and what better way to do it than chat to ladies who are in the similar circumstance.

My DH and I are heading into 5th year of marriage & 3 yr, 2mo of TTC #1. The first year & a half of TTC was great fun but now it is just stressful and everything feels timed. 1yr after TTC we saw our Dr. who said we are still young (29 at the time) and not to worry about it too much. 1yr, 6mo we went back to the doctor and I insisted on some form of tests. Dr claimed that my DH had to be checked first before I was sent for testing. DH was tested and informed that he had 8% swimmers new diet and bad habits had to change. 3mo later DH went back to Dr for re-rest and then everything seemed good as 80% swimmers. We were both extremely pleased and started having fun again knowing what the problem might have been. 2yrs, 2mo later I have severe abdominal cramping and nausea with another trip to my Dr. My Dr. does a pregnancy test thinking it could be an ectopic pregnancy and test result is negative. I insist that something is not right and the Dr. does not seem to care instead cracks his stupid jokes. Every month after that I had severe premenstrual cramps including nausea. I decided that I was tired of my male Dr. and time for a change.

5 months after the severe pain started, I found a lovely female Dr. who took time to listen and immediately referred me to my Obgyn. The lovely Dr. told me it might be a long wait to see the Obgyn but I was lucky enough to get an appointment the next month. The obgyn did the necessary internals and blood tests with great results but I insisted something was not right as I am pretty in tune with my body and ovulation days due to charting all this time. Early in my 20’s I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had a laparoscopy, with this information the Dr. felt that this would be a good reason for surgery. He was basically going in blind so booked my procedure as ‘laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, hydrotubation, environmental biopsy possible salpingostomy remove or cauterize endometriosis or ovarian cyst and possible laporotamy’ 9 months after the first complaint to my male Dr. about the severe pain, was I finally taken seriously and the surgery happened.

The final procedure was a laporsocopy as I had a 6inch ovarian cyst which had ruptured, bilateral salpingostomy, hysteroscopy hydrotubation to open fallopian tubes as they were very narrow and removal of fibroid. The endometrial biopsy came back with wonderful results  My Dr. was very pleased that I insisted something was not right as both my tubes were narrow and my right ovary was not working with the ruptured cyst. Dr. believes that we will receive our BFP in the next 6 months……….3 months have passed and nothing yet ‘HOPEFUL’  DH will be going back to Dr. on February 15th for another sperm analysis and praying for the best 

Ladies, you know your body so if you feel something is not right please keep insisting for the Dr. to look into it further.

This is the first time I have put this in writing and it feels good.

Thank you

 

[Limm]

No AF but convinced I'm not pregnant, despite wanting to be. Mother Nature is a cruel bitch.

Loads of stuff happened yesterday which resulted in me getting myself drunk and husband managed to make things worse and now we're not speaking. Trying to keep busy and sort things out rather than sit around and feel sorry for myself, but I feel like I've hit the bottom. Hangover doesn't help either.

Desperately want a friend to just turn up at my house and offer a hug or something.

 

[Jett55]

In need of ranting first post I read on fb was about how a girl got her pregnancy confirmed ugg... I just wanna comment and say Stfu it ticks me off like I hate that I'm starting to become envious but I can't help it here I've been trying for a bfp then these girls who aren't even trying get pregnant... Here I am trying to stay hopeful and positive but its soo hard to do when everyone around you is getting what you've been trying soo hard for

 

[mummyhopeful]

Good on you hopeful_2013 for persisting. It definitely takes real courage and I'm hoping 2013 will be your year!

So I went to the doctor today at the women's clinic and by the end of it I was so discouraged I felt like crying. I have a history of Anorexia, depression, and anxiety and was treated in 2010 with no issues up until last May and June when I was diagnosed with bipolar II. No big deal I thought, I would take the meds and everything would be fine. I became very very ill on the meds and after we moved in July and I saw my new family doc I learned the bipolar had been a misdiagnosis. She said she would call me with a change to my meds but never did so I ended up cutting them out cold turkey by the end of July because I was very very ill on them. Anyway point is I ended up having to be hospitalized in October and I met some fabulous doctors that fixed everything right up and I a now on Effexor and doing wonderfully.
So today when I was in with the doctor she told me to get off Effexor. Fair enough I mean if it will harm the baby I will absolutely change to something safer. Then she told me I was likely to have a "difficult" time conceiving based on my medical history. I felt absolutely crushed. And she said it so matter-of-factly like nothing I could do would make conceiving easier. She also told me that OPK's weren't reliable and I felt doubly crushed bc that was my way (along with temping) to see how things were going/knowing when I ovulated. Maybe I am just overly sensitive but I felt like I was simply being told "comeback when and if you get pregnant" (not in those words obviously, but that's how crushing it felt).

So when I came home I took my opk and it was lighter than yesterday (when it was nearly positive). After that I felt like why bother trying if everything I am doing is going to make not one bit of difference. I never will stop trying because we want this really badly, I just hope things work out much better than she forecasted them to be.

On the bright side I had stretchy cm today and found preseed in the drugstore so I am hoping those are good signs.

 

[mbish]

In need of ranting first post I read on fb was about how a girl got her pregnancy confirmed ugg... I just wanna comment and say Stfu it ticks me off like I hate that I'm starting to become envious but I can't help it here I've been trying for a bfp then these girls who aren't even trying get pregnant... Here I am trying to stay hopeful and positive but its soo hard to do when everyone around you is getting what you've been trying soo hard for

I just want to say that I know what you mean. I feel like every time I go on facebook there is another pregnancy announcement or pic of someone's baby. I want to be happy for them, but all I feel like doing is crying.

 

[AlliCat]

Hubby got his results back and his swimmers are all within normal parameters. I gave a blood sample for day 3 testing on the 16th and am going to give another sample on Feb. 4 for a blood progesterone test and will then get my results for both tests when the results for the last test come in. I have been following my periods and ovulation on an app called FertilityFriend on my cell. According to my info the app said that this month I was fertile the 23rd thru the 26 with the 26th being my most fertile day. Hubby and I got frisky on the 21st, 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th, and 27th. About an hour ago I used the restroom and when I wiped I got 2 tiny streaks of bright red/pink blood. Could this be implantation bleeding?

 

[Amelia8083]

Good on you hopeful_2013 for persisting. It definitely takes real courage and I'm hoping 2013 will be your year!

So I went to the doctor today at the women's clinic and by the end of it I was so discouraged I felt like crying. I have a history of Anorexia, depression, and anxiety and was treated in 2010 with no issues up until last May and June when I was diagnosed with bipolar II. No big deal I thought, I would take the meds and everything would be fine. I became very very ill on the meds and after we moved in July and I saw my new family doc I learned the bipolar had been a misdiagnosis. She said she would call me with a change to my meds but never did so I ended up cutting them out cold turkey by the end of July because I was very very ill on them. Anyway point is I ended up having to be hospitalized in October and I met some fabulous doctors that fixed everything right up and I a now on Effexor and doing wonderfully.
So today when I was in with the doctor she told me to get off Effexor. Fair enough I mean if it will harm the baby I will absolutely change to something safer. Then she told me I was likely to have a "difficult" time conceiving based on my medical history. I felt absolutely crushed. And she said it so matter-of-factly like nothing I could do would make conceiving easier. She also told me that OPK's weren't reliable and I felt doubly crushed bc that was my way (along with temping) to see how things were going/knowing when I ovulated. Maybe I am just overly sensitive but I felt like I was simply being told "comeback when and if you get pregnant" (not in those words obviously, but that's how crushing it felt).

So when I came home I took my opk and it was lighter than yesterday (when it was nearly positive). After that I felt like why bother trying if everything I am doing is going to make not one bit of difference. I never will stop trying because we want this really badly, I just hope things work out much better than she forecasted them to be.

On the bright side I had stretchy cm today and found preseed in the drugstore so I am hoping those are good signs.

Do you have pcos? I don't understand why the dr. would tell you that they were unreliable... aside from secondary fertility signs, opks are the only way to know that you are about to ovulate.... they don't guarantee ovulation will happen but it does give you a window. Have you been ttc for very long? Don't give up hope yet

 

[babybemine]

So annoyed AF showed up. But thanks for coming at 27days instead of later.

 

[mummyhopeful]

Good on you hopeful_2013 for persisting. It definitely takes real courage and I'm hoping 2013 will be your year!

So I went to the doctor today at the women's clinic and by the end of it I was so discouraged I felt like crying. I have a history of Anorexia, depression, and anxiety and was treated in 2010 with no issues up until last May and June when I was diagnosed with bipolar II. No big deal I thought, I would take the meds and everything would be fine. I became very very ill on the meds and after we moved in July and I saw my new family doc I learned the bipolar had been a misdiagnosis. She said she would call me with a change to my meds but never did so I ended up cutting them out cold turkey by the end of July because I was very very ill on them. Anyway point is I ended up having to be hospitalized in October and I met some fabulous doctors that fixed everything right up and I a now on Effexor and doing wonderfully.
So today when I was in with the doctor she told me to get off Effexor. Fair enough I mean if it will harm the baby I will absolutely change to something safer. Then she told me I was likely to have a "difficult" time conceiving based on my medical history. I felt absolutely crushed. And she said it so matter-of-factly like nothing I could do would make conceiving easier. She also told me that OPK's weren't reliable and I felt doubly crushed bc that was my way (along with temping) to see how things were going/knowing when I ovulated. Maybe I am just overly sensitive but I felt like I was simply being told "comeback when and if you get pregnant" (not in those words obviously, but that's how crushing it felt).

So when I came home I took my opk and it was lighter than yesterday (when it was nearly positive). After that I felt like why bother trying if everything I am doing is going to make not one bit of difference. I never will stop trying because we want this really badly, I just hope things work out much better than she forecasted them to be.

On the bright side I had stretchy cm today and found preseed in the drugstore so I am hoping those are good signs.

Do you have pcos? I don't understand why the dr. would tell you that they were unreliable... aside from secondary fertility signs, opks are the only way to know that you are about to ovulate.... they don't guarantee ovulation will happen but it does give you a window. Have you been ttc for very long? Don't give up hope yet

Nope I don't have pcos. I bled or a month last march and they did everything under the sun to see why but couldn't find any reason. My baby making system was healthy. I dunno why she said that. I was for sure super confused and let down but better today. Haven't seen a temp spike that would indicate ovulation yet, but the fertility monitor is still registering high which is a good sign. I'm now of the mind: it's not over until I get a BFP and I am determined to prove the doctor wrong (although I don't have much control over that but a girl can hope)

and

 

[bluebyrd]

We started trying a little over a year ago.. When I went for my initial bloodwork, I assumed that everything come back fine but it didnt. At first I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, we got that under control...then I was diagnosed with mild PCOS after further testing and a low dose of metformin, but diagnosis was reversed....a few months later they found out that had hydrosalpinx (sp) which was corrected with surgery back in November. Finally, my numbers are normal..and my tubes are open, and I was feeling quite optimistic! Last month,my RE put me on clomid even though I ovulate on my own.. for some reason, I KNEW that it was going to be my month.. I felt it. But it wasn't..
Even with medical problems, I have tried to keep a positive attitude and continued to try. When AF shows up, I get a little disappointed but I can usually dust myself off prepare to try again in the next cycle. I tried to take a break from trying for my own sanity, but I cannot help but to be constantly aware of my reproductive system..lol.
the day after I got my last period , I found out that two coworkers and a friend were pregnant... on the outside I was like but on the inside I was like .... then when I came home from work and DH told me that he noticed that my neighbor was pregnant.. I know many people who have gotten pregnant over this past year,and up until recently, I have never dealt with feelings of jealously... I always felt like "i'm next" But I am now starting to resent them all.. I hate that I feel this way, I know its not their fault. But it's getting to the point where its too painful to watch. When other people talk about pregnancy, I feel as if they are taunting me.. I know it's irrational but I am at the point where I get upset to even see pregnant women. It's a constant reminder that I cannot get pregnant.I've avoided two baby showers recently.. I feel like such a bad person, I want to share in their joy just as they would share in mine. But I don't have the strength right now. Here I am at the beginning of my tww... can anyone offer any advice on how to cope?
I just needed to get that off of my chest. pray for me ladies.

 

[bluebyrd]

In need of ranting first post I read on fb was about how a girl got her pregnancy confirmed ugg... I just wanna comment and say Stfu it ticks me off like I hate that I'm starting to become envious but I can't help it here I've been trying for a bfp then these girls who aren't even trying get pregnant... Here I am trying to stay hopeful and positive but its soo hard to do when everyone around you is getting what you've been trying soo hard for

I can relate

 

[Jett55]

It's one of those days where I'm thinking about giving up trying for awhile that way I have nothing to be disappointed over but somethin keeps telling me not to give up or lose hope especially when its something you really want

 

[Hopeful_2013]

I know the feeling. This is what managed to get me through today.

Verse: John 12:24

‘I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.’
- The death of a dream or a vision can be a difficult thing.
- But death is not always a bad thing.
- A seed must die in order to germinate and bring forth new life.
- So trust God to cause new life to come out of the ashes of your situation.

PRAYER: Lord, I pray that You will cause new life to flow out of my life. Help me not to be consumed with what is not working, but help me to see how You will work things out for my good. Amen.

 

[AlliCat]

Hubby got his results back and his swimmers are all within normal parameters. I gave a blood sample for day 3 testing on the 16th and am going to give another sample on Feb. 4 for a blood progesterone test and will then get my results for both tests when the results for the last test come in. I have been following my periods and ovulation on an app called FertilityFriend on my cell. According to my info the app said that this month I was fertile the 23rd thru the 26 with the 26th being my most fertile day. Hubby and I got frisky on the 21st, 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th, and 27th. About an hour ago I used the restroom and when I wiped I got 2 tiny streaks of bright red/pink blood. Could this be implantation bleeding?

Went to the restroom again today. When I went to the bathroom and wiped streaks of blood with some brown and some cm.

 

[babybemine]

Oh man....I get that AF is here. I unwillingly welcomed her. Is it really necessary that she had to bring her friend cramps as well. Painful cramping has had me in bed.

 

[Jett55]

The only baby pics I can stand to see is the ones of my nephew because if it wasn't for my sis and her 2 very sweet boys I still might not want kids but they showed me how much fun little ones can be so because of that I've been TTC driving myself nuts but my sis has been giving me a lot of encouragement assuring me that I will have one soon enough and stop worrying its also helpful cuz she had af 2 months before she ever knew so that gives me hope

 

[mbish]

Sometimes I wish I could set a filter on my Facebook to block all of the pregnancy announcements!

 

[AlliCat]

Sometimes I wish I could set a filter on my Facebook to block all of the pregnancy announcements!

I agree, and ear muffs with option to not hear the announcements either...