Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[oneKnight]

I read somewhere that almost 90% of people who take *longer* to get pregnant will eventually get pregnant with medicine, dr. intervention, etc.

Only if you have money.
Fertility treatments are limited to the wealthy.
That is my rant.
By the time I can afford IVF I will seriously need one because I will be so old.

Here here!!!

though, if it comes down to that for us, I'd rather focus my time/money/efforts on adoption... THAT is pretty much guaranteed to result in children!

Well I would rather NOT. I already have two adopted "children" - they have 4 legs and tails. I want a baby in MY belly, with Mine and my Partner's DNA. I don't want an egg or sperm donor, and I don't want to adopt.
No judgement towards anyone, but I personally, just can't adopt.

 

[Lionchild]

About to begin and endless stream of 1st birthday parties for children who were conceived since we've been ttc. Three of them probably wouldn't have been conceived if I hadn't confided in their mothers that we were "trying." One of my friends has managed to have two children in that time (literally one egg after the other). These women are my friends and I love them all dearly and their babies. I am just so tired of being happy for everyone else.

My DH and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary this week as well as clock month 24 ttc. Our anniversary actually is the first day I could test with an EPT (approx. 6 days before my estimated arrival of af). At this point I just feel like the universe should let us have this one, with super high hopes one one side and the other part of me says, "why ruin the day. It's not happening." October used to be my favorite month. Now I hate it.

Thanks for giving me the liberty to rant. I hope we all get what we have been waiting for.

I'm so sorry!! I can't imagine the frustration you have faced over the last 24 months. I'll keep you in my thoughts and send you positive baby dust (even though I don't seem to have any luck with it).

I hope you are able to enjoy your wedding anniversary. Congrats!! That's a great accomplishment!!

 

[Ladybuggz]

I hate feeling jealous everytime I see a pregnant lady or baby. I know that I should feel happy for them and I do, but I can't help wishing it was me.

 

[Ladybuggz]

In the time I've been WTT, my brother in law has managed to have a baby by accident (he was dating someone for a month and got pregnant again 4 months after the baby was born).

 

[Ladybuggz]

Also, I can't help but feel angry when people complain about struggling to get pregnant when they already have children, I'd be happy if I even had one

 

[Hopesdreams]

Just when I was getting all hopeful, I swear my body felt pregnant, AF showed up right on schedule this morning. I am so frustrated!!!! I know two of my girlfriends took over a year and I know that my hubby has been working so hard we haven't been able to baby dance much but seriously?!
I keep hoping this is part of some master plan to ensure I have a job for next year before I get pregnant but I don't care at this point! Hubby is being supportive, he said he's been thinking about going to get his swimmers checked out to make sure he's in the clear. I think he's fine though because we had a chemical pregnancy back in August. Where is my BFP? Now I have to go to work, surrounded by children and act happy. Yay.
Sorry for that wee rant ladies, I'm just really sad this morning

 

[babymabey]

I am so sick of people saying "let nature take its course". If that was all it took, no one would have infertility issues.

To my mother:
I had to lie to you and tell you that we stopped tTTC because you just wouldn't shut the hell up about it. We have been TTC for a year, I am sorry that you just can't wait and you need a grandchild now, I am doing everything I can do fix that problem, but you shoving in my face every chance you get that I YOU are so sad I am not pregnant yet is pissing me off. Stop telling EVERYONE in the grocery store about how hard it is for YOU that your poor daughter is having infertility issues! Hell even though I lied ans said we stopped TTC you still won't shut the hell up about it. Every time I talk to you you make sure to fit into the conversation about how stupid you think I am that (at least for what you know) I am back on BC. You have no idea how alone I feel because the one person I should be able to go to in a situation like this turns it all around so that she is made out to be the harmed person. Because it is so much harder for YOU to deal with this when you have never been through it. Hell, all you had to do was think about a kid and you would be pregnant, that is why you had 6 kids in a 10 year period.

To my DH:
I love you more than anything. But if you tell me one more time that i need to get over my MC (blighted ovum suffered at the end of July) because it wasn't a "real" pregnancy, I am going to smack you, okay not really, but just threatening it makes me feel better. You have no idea the pain and suffering I went through because I hid it so well because every time I tried to show emotion for it you told me I was emotional, or my favorite that I was overreacting and crazy. That morning when I went to the bathroom and saw blood I knew what was happening and all you kept saying was that bleeding is normal. I asked you to take me to the hospital and you told me that even if it was, there wasn't anything to do about it.

No one knows about the MC except me, my DH and my doctor so there is no one to talk to about it. I was never able to grieve because my BIL lives with us so I had to pretend that everything was normal. He doesn't understand how hard it is for me to see all of my friends post their pregnancy announcements on Facebook. I take my vitamins, I eat healthy, I cut sugar and caffeine out of my diet, I have done everything right, so why does it feel like I am being punished for something? I know there are people who have been TTC longer than I have so I need to know, does this feeling, feeling like you are completely alone, ever get better?

I apologize for the long comment, but I have been holding all this in for months and I needed to get it out before I burst.

 

[flagirlie7]

Also, I can't help but feel angry when people complain about struggling to get pregnant when they already have children, I'd be happy if I even had one

THAT!!! It's NOT THE SAME!

 

[laurac1988]

It's not. I think those TTC have it in their mind that they might never have children. I do anyway

 

[FireLyte]

My partner and I have been TTC for 11 months now. I had an appointment this morning, to discuss possible fertility issues, with a specialist, as prior to taking prevara last month, I hadn't had my AF in 7 months. I don't know what I was expecting this morning, but I wasn't expecting to be told I need to stop many of my habits, and that even if I were ovulating my odds of being able to conceive are basically 25% or less. I hadn't realized I haven't been ovulating, or I would have asked to see this doctor much sooner than now. I feel so down right now, and all I want to do is call my partner and tell him about my appointment, but I don't see the point. When I told him earlier in the week about it, he told me we didn't need "help" and that we just need to try harder. I want to tell him and know that he will hug me and say we'll get through this, but I know that he's going to say something about trying harder and not get his swimmers tested like my doc. wants him to.

When I got into work, I told two of my coworkers what happened at my appointment, to try and vent in order to go on with my day. My one coworker shared her story of how she got pregnant in less than 3 months (I'm happy for her, but why would she think that would make me feel better). Thankfully, my other coworker was able to give me something to laugh about this morning, and did what she could to make me feel better.

I find myself unjustifiably angry at my sister, my coworkers who are pregnant/had a child recently, and friends who already have children. Everyone I know, who has shared their stories, saying how easy it was for them, and how their kids were 'oops' babies, or it happened the first month, etc. Why them, and not me?

I'm sure y'all can tell, I'm new here. Can anyone help me figure out all the abbreviations being used? There are a few I can't figure out and/or may use incorrectly.

 

[snickersbar]

Also, I can't help but feel angry when people complain about struggling to get pregnant when they already have children, I'd be happy if I even had one

Yep, agree with this. It's sad that anyone has trouble conceiving, but when you have already had a baby to hold, it's really not comparable to those of us who worry it might never happen to us.

To my friend who has recently had a baby after getting pregnant her first month off of bc (and had the baby before her 1st wedding anniversary) - stop being so bl00dy patronising about everything like you are some baby expert when your child is only a couple of months old. Being told things like "You'll understand when you have a baby", etc, makes my blood boil and me not want to see you.

 

[Tink80]

Also, I can't help but feel angry when people complain about struggling to get pregnant when they already have children, I'd be happy if I even had one

OMG...Yes!!!

 

[crossedfinger]

To my SIL: Stop telling me that if I "just relax" it will happen. You telling me that is NOT helping!

To other people who really have no vested interest in the situation (co-workers, neighbors, etc): Stop being nosy and asking me when I am going to have a baby. How is what my husband and I do any of your business?! (This is why I NEVER ask people if they are dating anyone, when they will get married, when they will have a baby, etc. It's none of my business; if you want to share with me, you will.)

 

[flagirlie7]

vent of the day: my stupid body, why you give me all the symptoms, signs, pains and hopes while producing such a low progesterone??? makes no sense to me

 

[MackMomma8]

Today was the EDD for the sprout I miscarried in February. It seems the harder I try to not think about it, the more I am reminded of what I don't have.

 

[annio84]

I'm really sorry about this ladies but I'm feeling really crap today since AF got me.

To my little sister - I don't know how you can possibly think i will feel sorry for you for being pregnant when you know how much I want it. If you didn't want to get pregnant you should have been more careful - not getting pregnant is really not that hard! I don't want to hear how crap it is for you or how you 're worried about money or finishing your course. It's really not my problem and if you weren't so selfish you'd see that it's not fair to talk to me about these thing because why whould I sympathise or pity you when you have the one thing i want and there is nothing I can do to get it any faster?

To my family, especially the ones who know that we're trying - stop telling me to get over it and be nice to my sister. Stop telling me about her scans and hospital appointments. Stop telling me that it's not about me because even though her being pregnant is not directly about me, my not being is completely about me and she'll be fine because everyone is falling over themselves to support her but noone cares how I feel. I just have to manage on my own like I always do - the downside of being the only grown up in the family.

To my husband - I think you could be a bit more supportive. If you want a baby too then you have a funny way of showing it. When I tell you that AF got me again it's not appropriate to ask what I'm making you for tea in response and if i want to be sad about the fact that you made me wait four years before trying and now it's not happening and everyone else around me is having babies then I bloody well will. And when you complain about how crap it is for you that you want your happy wife back then just think for a second how it feels for me being the one who feels like this all the time. I can't help all the crying and the being moody. And if you tell me one more time that you believe that it will happen then you only have yourself to blame when I smack you. And I really don't think it's impatient not to want to wait any longer after waiting four years to try even if we have only been trying 3 months.

To my body - why oh why do you have to choose now after more than ten years of perfectly regular cycles to become irregular and give me false hope!!

And finally - if one more person tell me to relax, it'll happen when the time is right or that things happen for a reason I might just have to lock myself into a cupboard until I eventually get my bfp. The right time clearly has nothing to do with it and I cannot imagine a reason why it's right for my unmarried little sister who has no job neither wants nor can afford a baby, to get pregnant but i can't.

Sorry ladies, I know three months is not long and some people try for much longer but as I say I've been WTT for four years and my little sister accidentally getting pregnant along with what seems like every other woman I know has just tipped me over the edge.

 

[snickersbar]

MackMomma8, I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. It must be hard at any time, but especially with the edd being today. I hope you're ok. x

 

[Mel Mel]

Hey Everyone! I'm sorry to lay it all out like this but I'm sitting here in tears at the end of my rope with no hope or faith left.

My Hubby- I understand that you have a child from a previous relationship, and I know that I'm her step mom, but it's not like being a mom to my OWN child. I have to give her back every weekend to her real mom. I will never be her mom and I will never try to be her mom so STOP telling me that I'm like her mom because I'm NOT! I love you but STOP!

Mom- I love you soo much, but you really do not understand. You say you do, but you don't and you never will. Stop taking my sisters side and treating her like gold because I'm about to let go of you and her and just be done. I'm not asking for your money or anything else, just your shoulder to cry on and for you not to say 'I know how you feel' or 'it will happen when it's suppose to'.

Sister- You have two amazing children that you never wanted so please stop acting like you went through such a hard time to get them. Your husband is a low life that doesn't take care of you or his babies so why are you still with him? He left you twice (both times while you were pregnant), what makes you think he won't leave again? And don't tell me what I need to do, because you don't know me and don't know how I feel so act like you do. I don't want to foster a baby because I can't deal with the child being taken and give back to his/her parents.. I do that every weekend and I mentally can't do it anymore, so stop bringing up the issue.

My step-daughter (no vent) - I wish I could give you a brother or sister. I know you want one so bad, but I just can't give you that yet, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm letting you down.. I wish with all my heart I could change that. No matter what though, my love for you and Daddy will never change.

My patients- Okay, I know that you are 12-14 years old and you think you can have this baby and be the best mom ever, but you can't. What can you offer to this child? For heaven's sake you go to the same pediatrician!!! And the mothers of the 12-14 year old girls that are pregnant, where the hell were you when she got pregnant and why are you so excited? Do you really think your child has a great chance of raising the child she is about to give birth to? NOOO, you will raise the child! So, wipe that grin off your face and do the responible thing and give that baby to a family that will raise and do what's best for that child. Yes, your heart may hurt, but let me tell how you bad it hurts to see your CHILD laid up giving birth to something she has no clue how to take care of. UGH!!!

I'm so sorry everyone.. I'm just on the edge right now and I'm almost to the point of giving up and going back on birth control..

 

[innerlaner]

To everyone who tells me to adopt -- you're stupid!! It's not like I can complete an application and go pick up a child.

 

[tsyhanochka]

annio84 - long story short my sister was given up for adoption to a mostly nice family. Fast forward to just 2 years ago, she lost 3 beans in a row while trying to conceive my niece. Her brother announced, 2 days after her last horrific miscarriage that they were pregnant with their 3rd, and due on what would have been her due date. Not one single person in her family could understand why it was so hard for her to be happy for her brother. And her brother lost it on her when she asked if they could change their FB profile pic from the ultrasound photo..... for just a little while so she could move past her loss. Nope, he went ape on her. And her (adoptive) parents acted like nothing happened to her.... when the only reason they adopted her was because of consecutive losses and lost one shortly after birth.

Sometimes families have no respect for those around them. It broke my heart for her (and you) that they can't see past one kid's happiness to help you through another's pain. So she did what she always does since she found me.... she calls *her* sister to talk and grieve and hash it out. Because unlike her adoptive family, I get her broody temper. After they adopted her they ended up having 5 kids naturally no problems, no losses. You hear those stories, but never really believe them.

So I want to Vent with you on that one. Some families just don't get it. I'm glad you have us, because we sure as heck do. Whether you're TTC 3 months or 3 years.... we get it.

And Mel Mel.... to deal with your work day in and out and still be sane... I applaud you. And I don't blame you about feeling like you do about your mom and sister. I talk to my mother sparingly on the phone for other reasons.


My vent today as well, Why the heck am I about to watch 'what to expect when expecting'....why am I doing this to myself? Oh right, I think it will give me positive thoughts about pregnancy.... and not the weepy snotty mess that will be consuming frozen yogurt later as 'therapy food'..... *sigh* I never learn. (guess that's a pre event vent)