Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[fairyy]

Hello everyone. I just joined! Here's my situation, I guess:

I waited until a month before I turned 25 to start trying with my husband, so...February of this year. We've been together for seven years, and we agreed years ago that we would wait until this time.

I had a change of heart and wanted to try when I was 23, but I thought 25 sounded like this magical in-between age where I would be young enough try, but old enough to have my head together, so I decided to be patient instead and we focused on buying a house so that we would have our own place to start our future family.

So, here we are in our new home and now we're trying. I wasn't worried when it didn't happen right away. I mean, it's only been a few months, and I read that sometimes it takes six months to a year. I was determined not to be "crazy" with the desire for a child because I read that stressing too much doesn't help the process.

It didn't even matter that everyone I knew with babies talked about how EASY it was for them--first try, accident, etc. I smiled and nodded at all the advice on the best positions,standing upside down on my head, etc. I didn't want to make an appointment with my husband or be weird about it. I wanted us to be just the way we were, but with the chance of having a baby. I blew it off when AF kept showing up...thinking: "That's okay! There's always next month!"

But, last month I had severe pain on my left side and found out it was due to a dermoid cyst which had grown too big and twisted my ovary. Within six hours of learning this, I had surgery to have my entire left ovary removed and was told they may need to take the right one as well. Thankfully, I still have my right one...for now. There IS a similar growth on my right ovary, but the doctor said they will leave it alone for now and monitor it. He doesn't want to risk damaging my remaining ovary by attempting to remove the cyst, and because of my age and the fact that I'm trying to have children, he wants to let my ovary "do its thing" for as long as it is able to before I will potentially need to have that ovary removed as well.

His words when I asked how long it would take for the other growth to get the same way: "It could be three months. It could be ten years. There's really no way for one to tell these things."

So, now I feel like I'm on a time crunch and I resent other people that aren't. It isn't their fault and I don't like feeling this way. All these people around me are talking about how easy it is for them to have babies and asking me when I'm going to have one myself. All these girls are complaining about how they're going to get fat or have stretchmarks and I want to just yell at them and tell them how freakin' lucky they are that they don't have any REAL problems. I wouldn't care if I had stretchmarks that made my belly look like a map of the United States or that I put on a few extra pounds if it meant that I wouldn't lose my chance at starting a family.

People ask me how many kids I want. I always wanted two, but at this point I'd be happy with just one. Just one! I feel like I tried to do everything right and people have children all the time that don't even WANT them. It feels so unfair! I know it's not over till it's over and I'm lucky that I still have my other ovary, still have a chance, etc, but I just want to cry.

People are sometimes not sensible. They don't know what to say when. I can very well feel what are u talking about. I am 29, soon going to be 30 and this is my 7th cycle of trying. NTNP actually. Don't know when it will happen. But trying to be hopeful. But every time AF arrives and shatters my world.

U have your other ovary. I really wish u get your BFP soon hun. It will happen and u will be blessed with a healthy and beautiful child. My hearts goes for u. I can relate to u as I am in the process... I am getting AF instead of BFP.

 

[rhysthedragon]

[/QUOTE]

People are sometimes not sensible. They don't know what to say when. I can very well feel what are u talking about. I am 29, soon going to be 30 and this is my 7th cycle of trying. NTNP actually. Don't know when it will happen. But trying to be hopeful. But every time AF arrives and shatters my world.

U have your other ovary. I really wish u get your BFP soon hun. It will happen and u will be blessed with a healthy and beautiful child. My hearts goes for u. I can relate to u as I am in the process...getting AF instead of BFP.[/QUOTE]

I wish you the same! Thank you for your kind words.

 

[Jett55]

So I was talking about deleting stupid ppl I don't talk to especially prego ones & dh had the nerve to say It's not their fault they're pregnant really??? Wtf???? Ummm If u spread ur legs It's obviously your fault... I hate how unsensible dh has been lately :/ he says stuff like maybe were just not in the position to have a baby really??? I didn't know life had to be perfect to have a baby.. pfffttt bullcrap

 

[VP1228]

Ugh I realized 5 mins ago why I deactivated my Facebook! This girl keeps complaining about being pregnant! I just want to tell her stop complaining and be happy that when you have sex it produces babies and not STDs! Ugh pissed to my limit right now. She has 2 kids right now both under the age of 3 or 4. I just don't get why people get pregnant if their other pregnancies sucked.

 

[tamithomas]

Newsflash to pregnant women: DON'T J WALK! Especially on main roads. ffs we almost ran over an about to pop pregnant woman on the main road in our town. She cut us off while we were doing 50km/h. How could she be so careless? What if we weren't so aware of our surroundings? What if we were distracted and she would have gotten hit? For pete's sake..many of us would give anything to be in your position, don't be so careless.

 

[AlyCon]

One friend just gave birth to her second child, my other friend is due any day now. Life isn't fair.

 

[Lazydaisys]

One friend just gave birth to her second child, my other friend is due any day now. Life isn't fair.

this is hard to take.

 

[Jett55]

Oh hey af nice of you to show up 2 days early on the bright note I had to go to the er last night cuz I have an infection along with antibiotics they gave me pain killers yep! Def using em for cramps

 

[MissyLissy]

I think I may have ruined a friendship.

I found out my first IUI failed on Sunday. I know it was only my first try, but I was devestated. I cried all morning, just had a really down and out, awful day. Then I had to pick myself up and go to my best friend's sons two-year old bday party...which of course was crawling with kids and babies and proud mommies and daddies... And of course me and my husband, the childless couple.

My other friend who happens to be at the party (who KNOWS about my fertility issues, KNOWS we've been trying for damn near a year and KNOWS I have PCOS) corners me at the party and tells me she has "really great news" that her son is going to be a big brother and she conceived her first month trying! How f-ing special for her. I fake congratulated her and walked away. And then I cried some more about how unfair it all is as soon as i got home. Was it really necessary for her to rub in that she got pregnant her very FIRST month trying when she already has a kid????? This is the same friend who told me after I sat in front of her sobbing about my pcos dx last winter that "there are worse things in life and I could always adopt." Later that night she texts me to "keep her wonderful news private on fb cause its not public knowledge yet." Yeah bitch, cause the world revolves around you and I'm really going to go add one more pregnancy post to fb that isn't even about me.

Anyway, same friend texted me today asking to get together with some dates she is free. I pretty much responded that I'm going through a very hard time right now, failed fertility attempts, spending money we don't have, feeling very empty ... And though I'm happy for her, it's just not a good time for me right now, and please don't take it personally. She never responded to that text... And knowing her she took it extremely personally. Oh well, I don't even care. She has no idea how this feels.

 

[tamithomas]

I think I may have ruined a friendship.

I found out my first IUI failed on Sunday. I know it was only my first try, but I was devestated. I cried all morning, just had a really down and out, awful day. Then I had to pick myself up and go to my best friend's sons two-year old bday party...which of course was crawling with kids and babies and proud mommies and daddies... And of course me and my husband, the childless couple.

My other friend who happens to be at the party (who KNOWS about my fertility issues, KNOWS we've been trying for damn near a year and KNOWS I have PCOS) corners me at the party and tells me she has "really great news" that her son is going to be a big brother and she conceived her first month trying! How f-ing special for her. I fake congratulated her and walked away. And then I cried some more about how unfair it all is as soon as i got home. Was it really necessary for her to rub in that she got pregnant her very FIRST month trying when she already has a kid????? This is the same friend who told me after I sat in front of her sobbing about my pcos dx last winter that "there are worse things in life and I could always adopt." Later that night she texts me to "keep her wonderful news private on fb cause its not public knowledge yet." Yeah bitch, cause the world revolves around you and I'm really going to go add one more pregnancy post to fb that isn't even about me.

Anyway, same friend texted me today asking to get together with some dates she is free. I pretty much responded that I'm going through a very hard time right now, failed fertility attempts, spending money we don't have, feeling very empty ... And though I'm happy for her, it's just not a good time for me right now, and please don't take it personally. She never responded to that text... And knowing her she took it extremely personally. Oh well, I don't even care. She has no idea how this feels.

Personally, I'd drop her sorry ass. The Olympic pains is bs with the "it could always be worse" and lets not mention the "just adopt" swerve. MY blood is boiling just thinking about being in your position. You deserve better

 

[tamithomas]

Almost garantee we're out this month. I totally forgot to keep tabs on when AF showed and am now clueless as to when O is and don't feel like wasting O strips galore since O may have already passed. This cycle is completely on me for being out. UGH, ffs talk about such an amateur wtf move on my part.

 

[nic18]

thanks work for moving me into kidswear! now every day I can look at baby clothing fucking great

 

[stormcloud]

This is total crap. Conceived right away when stopping the pill only to miscarry a week later. Clearly I'm really fertile since we conceived so fast, right? WRONG! Been almost a year now. I've only had three "periods" since mc in October. Or at least I thought they were periods... because my OB_GYN assured me that as long as I was bleeding I was ovulating. WRONG! Just started charting and figured out that I am not ovulating. I'm just so fed up with this. There are pregnant women EVERYWHERE, and I just want to cry with frustration!!! ARGH!!! End vent.

 

[VP1228]

I think I may have ruined a friendship.

I found out my first IUI failed on Sunday. I know it was only my first try, but I was devestated. I cried all morning, just had a really down and out, awful day. Then I had to pick myself up and go to my best friend's sons two-year old bday party...which of course was crawling with kids and babies and proud mommies and daddies... And of course me and my husband, the childless couple.

My other friend who happens to be at the party (who KNOWS about my fertility issues, KNOWS we've been trying for damn near a year and KNOWS I have PCOS) corners me at the party and tells me she has "really great news" that her son is going to be a big brother and she conceived her first month trying! How f-ing special for her. I fake congratulated her and walked away. And then I cried some more about how unfair it all is as soon as i got home. Was it really necessary for her to rub in that she got pregnant her very FIRST month trying when she already has a kid????? This is the same friend who told me after I sat in front of her sobbing about my pcos dx last winter that "there are worse things in life and I could always adopt." Later that night she texts me to "keep her wonderful news private on fb cause its not public knowledge yet." Yeah bitch, cause the world revolves around you and I'm really going to go add one more pregnancy post to fb that isn't even about me.

Anyway, same friend texted me today asking to get together with some dates she is free. I pretty much responded that I'm going through a very hard time right now, failed fertility attempts, spending money we don't have, feeling very empty ... And though I'm happy for her, it's just not a good time for me right now, and please don't take it personally. She never responded to that text... And knowing her she took it extremely personally. Oh well, I don't even care. She has no idea how this feels.

Your friend made it sound like you blab her business on FB all the time (which I know for sure that you don't). My friend told me the "oh just wait til later to have kids or adopt phrase" and I told her I will think about it. But I wanted to say since your giving out free options how about give out free fertility treatments money and adoption money. I mean really if these people only knew that it costs a lot of money to adopt they wouldn't give that advice to us. I am sorry your friend is so insensitive but that is how people are when they are not the ones going through it. Please know that I feel your pain even though we are not in the same situations but the not having a baby part I totally feel like I am at my whits end

 

[RubyCoth]

This site, and sites like are EXACTLY what I have been looking for. My friends say that I talk about TTC too much, my husband thinks that my excitement is a bit premature. EXCUSE ME?!? I am 28 years old and after a 7 year relationship and almost 2.5 years of marriage and 3 years of trying to convince my husband that we are ready to start a family, we are actually starting to try!! So YES, I am excited!! YES, I am anxious!! YES, I have wanted nothing more since childhood than to be a wife and a mother.
Also. Said "friend" is my age and already has 4 kids of her own!! One of which a 4 month old baby girl, and she has no problem telling me her stories of conception and birth, but the minute the tables turn to me I need to change the subject?! Are you kidding me?!
And as far as my husband is concerned.....when I brought this same story to him he had the nerve to agree with her. But Mr. "you could stand to calm down a little" doesn't seem to mind all the sex he's been getting for the last month.
The nerve of people.

 

[Jett55]

Posted a sorts descreet rant on fb about ttc & got a message asking if I was ttc. The woman actually understood & had gone through fertility treatment & eventually conceived 2 kids she is 50 now but its nice to know there are still caring understanding people out there she's actually helping me look into doctors & stuff in my area

 

[RubyCoth]

Posted a sorts descreet rant on fb about ttc & got a message asking if I was ttc. The woman actually understood & had gone through fertility treatment & eventually conceived 2 kids she is 50 now but its nice to know there are still caring understanding people out there she's actually helping me look into doctors & stuff in my area

I believe that no matter a woman's age being a mother is a blessing and a miracle that can not be controlled or dictated by others. I strongly support the 50 year old woman and wish her the best of luck on her journey; as I do you as well.

 

[Jett55]

Oh she already had 2 kids she shared her journey with me lol sorry if I didn't make it clear. It's really awesome to have someone to talk to that went through it & can be a great support system

 

[Jett55]

Feeling sick from all the meds & dhs friend says maybe you're pregnant yaah cuz having your period isn't a sure indicator of not bein prego :/

 

[ashntony]

Feeling sick from all the meds & dhs friend says maybe you're pregnant yaah cuz having your period isn't a sure indicator of not bein prego :/

Some people need to go back to health class! I will say though my mom had af the first 5 months she.was pregnant with me! She didn't know she was till month 3! Wish i could be so lucky.