I've been ttc for 4 months now, not a long time, no. But I've been wanting to be pregnant for over nine years, so to finally be able to try, I'm a little (okay a lot) impatient.
I also suffer from depression and I have very little libido. I was thankfully put on medical unemployment which was needed and having less stress on my plate will maybe help things along a bit. I am also not on my medicine anymore because I do want to try and live my life without being on presc. medicine and I want my baby to be as healthy as can be.
My main problem is my family acting like me charting things or using my WomanLog app on my phone as being weird or obsessive. I don't see the harm in doing this
Literally all I do is put down info like when I BD, if my OPK or Preg tests were neg or pos, body temp and CM, and if I had any unusual side effects. General stuff. It also lets me know when to expect AF and possible Ovulation week. So why is it weird?
They're always telling me if I use my app or think about it too much, I'll never get pregnant. But the thing is, if I didn't plan when to have sex, I would probably not have much sex at all! I'm not a sexual person but of course I want to have sex every so often for my partner. Plus I kind of need to BD if I want a baby... kind of necessary if you want to do it the old fashion way... So honestly, I see my app as a way to make sure I BD on the days I need to...
It's just infuriating to me!
I don't see how me keeping track of things will cause issues. Personally, I feel like it would help since I have a better understanding on how ovulation works and when it occurs etc. so I know when to BD.
Plus, how can I not think about having a baby when it's what I obsessed about since I was 16! (don't worry, I was responsible. I just loved the idea of babies. I knew it was a terrible idea of having one at that age) I'm finally a grown woman, have an apartment, we make a good salary. It's time. I know it's time. I feel like it's finally my turn!
As the eldest girl on my mother's side of the family (sibling and cousin wise), I always thought that I would be the one to have a child first. But my eldest male cousin beat me to it and then my sister, and both times I cried like a baby.
I know it's selfish but I almost felt like having the first baby amongst us was my right, my trophy, and it was stolen from me. It was hard. I felt like an awful person and still do a bit. That cousin now has three children and my sister has two. I have yet to have any. I just really feel in my heart that it's finally my turn so of course I want to do it right
I want to make sure I do things when it needs to be done and ect. So it's hard when people tell you to just let it happen, making you feel like being organized and knowledged on ovulation as wrong. Any anyway, if I "let it happen", I'll most likely never get pregnant due to my low libido....
I just wish they could understand where I'm coming from without possibly judging me and/or thinking I was a terrible and selfish person before. I know I was, but I don't need to be reminded... I'm very aware of how terrible it was of me.
