Trying To Conceive #1+ Vent Thread

[N27murray]

well yesterday DH's best friend tells us that he and his girlfriend (on and off girlfriend of about a year) are expecting and simply thrilled. im happy that hes happy i really am but i had to leave the room after congratulating him. they were not even trying! its not fair that i have to go through all of this bullcrap to conceive with someone ive been with for 6 years and people who cant even stay together more than 2 months without a breakup don't have to try at all.
uhg i cant wait to go to my Dr next month and get this ball rolling!
does anyone else find themselves walking through the baby isles at stores and imagining which ones youd get for your baby? lol maybe im just crazy

i feel the same way! about others getting bfp who i think sont "deserve" it as much as dh and i do (i know its mean to feel but cannot help it)...and the baby aisles...yes!

 

[mindylou]

I had a chemical 3 weeks ago for no reason at all. I don't think your car accident had anything to do with it unless you were given strong pain medication or something. I'm sorry for your loss and that it's taken so long for you and so many others. I've heard your most fertile after a miscarriage. Unfortunately for me I think we only bd once the night before I got a positive opk so I probably won't be finding out if there's any truth to that.

 

[N27murray]

I really hope thats true about being most fertile afterwards...we're going to keep up the bding and see ..also i was prescribed medication but it wasnt that strong...we will see how next cycle goes

Thank you

you never know! if its not this cycle maybe next one you will get that bfp. wish these chemicals werent so popular seems to happen often

GL! dust

 

[MrsLemon]

Well it had been 12 cycles one year .... so i took myself to the doctors...

He wont refur me until ive tried for another year... he thinks at my age 23... ive got loads of time...

great.... what about my mental health feels like its never going to happen..

 

[impatient66]

start to dread see AF, start to get frustrated abt the whole process..um...

 

[mindylou]

I had a chemical 3 weeks ago for no reason at all. I don't think your car accident had anything to do with it unless you were given strong pain medication or something. I'm sorry for your loss and that it's taken so long for you and so many others. I've heard your most fertile after a miscarriage. Unfortunately for me I think we only bd once the night before I got a positive opk so I probably won't be finding out if there's any truth to that.

I guess there is truth to that! Got my BFP yesterday!
GL ladies!!!!

 

[N27murray]

I had a chemical 3 weeks ago for no reason at all. I don't think your car accident had anything to do with it unless you were given strong pain medication or something. I'm sorry for your loss and that it's taken so long for you and so many others. I've heard your most fertile after a miscarriage. Unfortunately for me I think we only bd once the night before I got a positive opk so I probably won't be finding out if there's any truth to that.

I guess there is truth to that! Got my BFP yesterday!
GL ladies!!!!

WOW! thats super awesome!! congratulations! ...fx it happens on my end too

 

[supersherwolf]

Ladies, a quick question. Me and DH dtd Thursday at 3am(Wednesday night) I got my positive opk at 5pm on Friday and bd as well. So I should be good for bd'ing on Thursday or does that count moreso as Wednesday? Lol sorry if it's a dumb question.

 

[N27murray]

i would call that bding on thursday...only a day and a half before +Opk which is good
it depends how long after +opk you O'ed too though so its good you did it again too GL!!

 

[supersherwolf]

i would call that bding on thursday...only a day and a half before +Opk which is good
it depends how long after +opk you O'ed too though so its good you did it again too GL!!

Thank you !

 

[babycometome]

Hi StillHoping, yep I do it all the time. Sometimes I dont even have a choice. Im from the UK, so everytime I go into tescos there are the cute little baby clothes and bonnets and booties. All i'll want is some milk and fruit- and there theyll be. Everytime I go into town I just cant help looking into Mothercare or mammas and pappas- like a child looking into a puppy store that their parent wont allow them to enter. I was looking at prams and cots in lewis' last year when I was feeling a bit more optimistic. my mum was with me and I told her it hurt to look at them; she said to me 'dont allow yourself to feel that pain, just focus on what will be some day and feel the excitement'. I did try...but of course my mum got pregnant with me after a peasly three months. So what would she know? But im being unfair, because at three months i was getting worried and agitated -lol sarcastically- little did i know i had another two years to go- who knows, maybe itll be three and my sil can pop another one out after she only looks at my bil. First time my sil got pregnant i cried when i held the newborn. they thought it was because i was crying out of happiness or something, but it was a mixture of pure love and pure pain that that little baby fit so perfectly and snugly in my arms and that he wasnt mine and the fear that i would never know what it meant to hold my heart and soul in my arms like that (im sorry but i dont like her at all- ever since she said to me 'youre not a real (husbands surname) until youve had a baby- charming that isnt it. Both our husbands are brothers, to clarify. And also that her baby was boring because he didnt do anything but sleep- that ticked me off just a tad, u know?
Anyway sometimes I'll purposefully go and look at the baby clothes and I'll want to just curl up into a ball and cry- but I do it out of some purpose of trying to be positive. You know...like why shouldnt I look, it will happen eventually. But all the while I think Ive locked up the screaming version of me in my head somewhere- and Im sure I can hear her rattling about and damaging a few neurones. My sil had two- one after the other. She fobs off her kids on the mil- apparently she wanted 6 kids...but the woman cant take care of one, let alone two. Yes Im bitter and actually- yeah im jealous. I admit that. I started my first round of clomid last cycle- I was hoping and praying that it would just work after two years of this -EXACTLY as you put it- bullcrap. Although I think we're both thinking of stronger words than that. But nope- ive come on now, waiting for next round of clomid- hoping i'll be one of those success stories. Im finally pregnant! Ah, just to utter those words. Its a trillion times more than winning the lottery. Actually the lottery is NOTHING compared to getting pregnant with my first baby. I feel incomplete. Like what I was meant for is being wasted and withered away the longer this hell goes on for. I dont know what the hel* is going on. I do understand the point of sex ed and all that- but they really hammered it in that you could get pregnant sooooo easily when we were kids- well you know what- thats just a load of rubbish for some of us isnt it. I was so responsible to take precautions and make sure I didnt get pregnant- it never ever occurred to me that something was wrong. Such a bitter lesson. It's mother nature at her cruellest.
I was looking at the posts on the first couple of pages on this thread. Have you noticed? All their status (statuses?) have changed to expecting! pregnant! mum! mum to be! expecting baby no 2! ...well, I am actually happy for them- they went through what im going through now. But im still jealous and envious and filled with emptiness.
Anyway StillHoping, I wanted to say that yes. I feel that way too, youre not alone in that, certainly. Me and my OH have been together coming 7 years, we got married two years ago. We have done our very best to do things 'right' and 'responsibly'...sometimes i wonder if all that rightness and responsibility is worth it. maybe it is. i dont know. i wonder if we'd been irresponsible if it would have happened, say four years ago. all i wanted was to wait until we could give our baby the best start possible...but here im reading headlines about mothers trying to drown their babies because it doesnt fit into their love life etc... what do we say to that? there isnt much to say is there, cuz its just so senseless, the whole thing. those that want and are ready and made for parenthood- cant have and those that are lost causes and not worth the name mother- get. so yes- frustration and anger is an understatement. lets hope we'll get to change our status too in the not too distant future.... good luck to you and anyone else who reads this

 

[Mrs_chris_36]

I really hope thats true about being most fertile afterwards...we're going to keep up the bding and see ..also i was prescribed medication but it wasnt that strong...we will see how next cycle goes

Thank you

you never know! if its not this cycle maybe next one you will get that bfp. wish these chemicals werent so popular seems to happen often

GL! dust

I got pregnant straight after a chemical, unfortunatley i had a mc at almost 8 weeks but that was nothing to do with the chemical or my body not being ready it was as they say 'just on of those things'

x

 

[GoogilyBear]

Hey there ladies, its been a long time since ive piated again.

I am ttcb#2 with my partner who ive been with a year almost. If ajy of you knew me from the decemberdreamers 2010 thread then yourll know that I have my now 3year old daughter from a previous relationship.

Now that I am in my new relationship (its not new, We were together once before but went our separate ways for 7years) we are thinking of baby no.2 (first for him) . Now were not into the whole try this and that and we just go with the flow the majority of the time. So if it happens it happens. But in the meantime I cant help but wonder.

My last pregnancy wasnt planned, and I fell pregnant whilst on my period, id only just started my period but it stopped two days after dtd and of course I was pregnant.

However this time round, we dtd yesterday... today ive come on. Now im confused cos people say you cant and some people say you can, I know from experience you can get prwgnant even whilst on... but will it happen this time.. the ifs and buts and maybe are never ending. I dont know I just dont.

 

[AlaskaWife]

My DH and I have been TTC for just over a year now. I'm just like at the point were I don't even want to see babies or kids at all. Diaper commercials have me longingly holding my stomach like a crazy person. Now at work (I work at a museum) we have a new exhibit that has a video on repeat all day that is narrated by really sweet adorable little kids, and it's literally right outside my office door. It's torture to listen to them all day long, and it makes me feel like a crazy person for feeling that way.

 

[KarmicDharma]

I'm just pissed. DH and I were supposed to be signing up for healthcare insurance through the gov. yesterday since his employer doesn't provide any insurance. Sounds great, right? Well it was up until he decided it was too much to pay monthly. He had no earthly idea why that would upset me. He said, "What? It's not like we ever go to the doctor. Are you planning on going to the doctor if we get insurance?" I was livid!! I said, "Um, yeah!!!" When he looked at me like I had three heads I then, nearly tearfully, explained that I'd like to f'ing know WHY I haven't gotten pregnant after TEN MONTHS of trying!!!

He just turned away looking as if I hadn't said anything at all. I'm so pissed and so hurt. I have no idea what to do. I have NO WAY of paying for any diagnostics or meds without the insurance. As if we haven't BOTH been hoping for a baby this past year. I just can not imagine my life without children. I have always known I wanted to be a mother. I'm kinda heartbroken today.

 

[N27murray]

About the insurance issue...id say try again to talk with dh and explain how important it is to you. Hopefully he soon realizes insurance is exactly what you two will be needing and the monthly payment is completely worth it.

on the ttc note, dh and I are 24, healthy and no reason why it should take months and months to conceive....but after 13 months of bfns I had convinced myself that I was broken. And believe it or not, that very next cycle I got my bfp...so remember, even though you feel terrified it may never happen and think you or dh might have something wrong, its probably not the case. For some reason it sometimes takes longer than for others.
I really hope you and dh work things out with insurance and I hope you get your bfp soon ...wishing you lots of luck

 

[KarmicDharma]

I appreciate that N27Murray. I know I need to revisit the issue. I need to try to calm down first. I hate going into a discussion with my emotions on overload. I need to calm myself and try to communicate well with him but it was hard last night to think through the pain. I mean, what does he think having a baby will cost?!!? And children need health coverage. Plain and simple.

I'm glad to hear you got your BFP! Congrats!!! Enjoy every moment of it!

 

[Gesshoku]

Sorry about your insurance issue KarmicDharma. I'm not sure how the government insurance works, but can you get it just for you? would it be cheaper that way? Hope it works out!

My husband and I have been trying for 6 months now. I know that's not very long but every month it's still upsetting. I think the same thing most of you do. Everyone else is getting pregnant, why not me? Plus, a coworker had a baby in Nov and another is ready to pop in 2 weeks with twins so every day we're talking about babies. My MIL keeps asking when we're going to start trying (we've been married 7 months). I've lied to her and said we don't want to start yet until I see a doctor for a physical because I haven't had one in 5 years. But I went last month and have no excuse. She's already started with 'when do I get my grandbaby?' Once a week my grandfather asks when's his great-grandbaby is going to get here. I'm already upset and frustrated it hasn't happened but now I have to reply 'not yet' every month and I'm not looking forward to it.

This sounded way more rant like in my head... But it's 2am and I'm tired. I keep thinking about babies and can't sleep...

 

[tinymom]

Hey there
I'm a little new to all this so give me a break, let's see. I've never tried to get pregnant before, I'm 18 years old. And MW and my fiancé have been TTC for about six months now. And nothing promising has happened. I'll get the head symptoms and everything just winding up with the evil witch. I honestly get scared because everyone in my family had babies before they where 18 and then on they had more...but I'm the only one that's having a problem.
Bleh anywhoo I'm about 3 dpo and so far I've had headaches nausea, dizzyness I'm bloated I'm tired but I can't sleep..I had shape twinges in my ovarian area but nothing to promising yet. The key is staying positive and hopefully blogging on this site will help me out a bit.
I'd love to hear some feedback. Thanks! -tinymom

 

[N27murray]

Welcome tinymom

as much as you won't wanna hear this, six months isn't so bad really. Trust me, I've been there done that (very recently) and I know each cycle feels like an eternity. But I'm sure you will get your bfp in no time.. I'm 24 and dh and I are both healthy and it took us 14 months. I thought I was broken! I was just about to make a Dr appt about my fertility when my bfp unexpectedly showed up. It was on the month we weren't really trying..big surprise to us!
anyways, are you charting your cycles or using opks or anything? It really helped me a ton to temp and chart.
I'm sure you will get your bfp soon...hopefully much sooner than I did
wishing you lots of luck and baby dust