She says an adopted child wouldn't be D's child - which is wrong as they would be our child, just not biologically. His mum seems to think biology and genetics are more important than a child who needs a family to love them.
I'm almost certain that she blames me for us not having children yet. She doesn't know it's been eight - almost nine - years that we've been trying to have a baby. D is one of eight children, and all of his siblings have children. I just have one sister, who also has children, and so his mum says as all her other children have "given her grandchildren" and as my sister has several children, that there "must be something wrong" with me! I overheard an argument between D and his mother a few years ago where she kept trying to persuade him to leave me and "find someone who can produce children". I've never seen D so angry! D and I have discussed adoption at length but if it means him losing his mother, or any part of his family, I'd rather not have any children at all! D doesn't deserve that! We don't see his mother much anymore, which is mostly D's choice, but I know that her opinion is still important to him. Adoption is a decision that the whole family needs to be fully on board with, and unless everyone gives us their blessing I just can't go down that route. The fallout would be horrible, and it wouldn't be good for any children we brought into our home. Before the pandemic, D and I had actually spoken to our local Social Services department about the adoption process, so in a way I'm glad the pandemic happened so that we were able to postpone that idea for the time being. I think D is hoping his mother will come around to the idea. It's something we'd talked about before, even if we had biological children.
Sorry to rant, feeling a little sorry for myself today!
Usually he just lets me decide as he "can't think of anything to do"!
