TTC #1 Hopeful and Obsessed! lol

[BelleNuit]

Spotting is back, heavier and red spotting. I'm definitely out. Sorry guys. It hurts less this time, I think because I may know the problem. I'm looking forward to my appointment tomorrow.

Thank you for listening to me these last few crazy days! I know I turned into a frequent poster! You guys are great to vent to!

 

[greenarcher]

Ugh! I'm so sorry belle! Please let us know how tomorrow's appointment goes.

I think I also have a problem with thin lining. My periods are ridiculously light. I'd love to hear what they say about it

 

[BelleNuit]

From what I've read green it sounds like estrogen supplements, acupuncture and exercise can help. Things like vitamin E and vitamin C may help indirectly

 

[puma1986]

Belle: Honestly, this news isn't bad! If worst case scenario your lining is a bit thin, supplements can fix it! Thank goodness nothing serious came from it!!!!! I'm so glad that you were able to find some relief in all of this and that it isn't as hard this month.

I still haven't ovulated. In fact, my temps look like yours! Normally they are very up and down and jagged. Not the past 3 days!

 

[BelleNuit]

Puma your temps are looking awesome! So nice and smooth! I'll bet you have a nice strong O this time!!

Green any sign of O for you yet??

The lining thing is kind of a catch 22... It's great news if it can be treated and there are treatment options for it (including using viagra to improve circulation!). But some women are resistant to treatment and they don't always know why. For these women, their only option is surrogacy. IVF or IUI won't help since the lining can't support a pregnancy.

I'll see what the doc says tomorrow about it. I'm hoping maybe my lining is on the borderline low side and maybe I'll respond well to treatment. Otherwise there is no way we could afford surrogacy. The cost is astronomical. But at least then I would have my answer. There would be no maybe. It would be pretty cut and dried. Would be easier to grieve that situation if worst comes to worst. Luckily kids aren't a make or break deal for my husband.

I'm so frustrated with this cycle. My spotting keeps stopping and starting again. Currently its stopped again. But my cervix is SORE to the touch! It didn't feel like this yesterday. Its sore, swollen and open. Weird. It's never hurt to touch before. Maybe I've just irritated it from checking too often LOL, I'll give it a break for a couple days

 

[puma1986]

I am going to be optimistic! Positive thinking creates positive experiences. You will have a baby. I am so certain of it!

If you poke something enough, my dear, it is bound to become sore. Crazy! You're so silly.

 

[BelleNuit]

Haha Puma, you're totally right. TTC has officially made me nuts!

 

[BelleNuit]

My appt went really well. The doctor was very friendly and approachable, he made me feel better about things. He told me to stop temping LOL because "it makes people crazy," But said it was fine if I wanted to continue with OPKs. I'm probably going to try the SMEP from now on (EOD then 3 days when I get the + OPK) and not temp. I'll have to ask DH to hide the thermometer. He looked at my test results and said there was nothing indicating that anything was wrong with hormone levels and that I definitely didn't have an egg shortage.

He said if I ovulated on CD 13 this month (which is possible... my chart is a bit ambiguous), then a 5mm endo lining on CD 15 would be okay because progesterone actually compresses the lining (and by quite a bit it sounds like). But he agreed to do another ultrasound to check it out because it's possible I didn't O until CD 15 for whatever reason. I will be getting an HSG done, but won't be any time soon as they have a long waitlist in our city.... they will call me back once they have an appt time figured out. After that we'll book another consult to go over results, will probably be at the end of september, or early october by the time everything is done.

Otherwise, AF still isn't here. If I did ovulate late, it should arrive tomorrow. I'm still getting tan colored cm (where it looks like old blood is mixed in) and other than one bright blood spot yesterday, thats the only spotting I've been getting. Such a weird cycle. Usually the day before AF I have quite a bit of spotting.

 

[GoldenRatio]

Hey Belle, glad ur appointment went well. Since everything is normal, i would try to get HSG done as soon as possible because it could be ur tubes that are blocked or maybe endo? Also when will you get DH's results?

You can try pineapple core after your ovulation to nourish the lining and help with implantation. Comes in pill form too

 

[BelleNuit]

Thanks Golden, good to hear from you!

They are booking an HSG but it's a long wait list and I don't know exactly when that will happen. DH is getting his SA in September.

I expect we will probably meet with him again end of September or beginning of October. Going to give acupuncture a try again as it can help circulation.

I dunno. I'm feeling done with trying. Don't think it's doing anything anyway. Not temping anymore.

AF showed this AM.

 

[GoldenRatio]

I know, after a while i felt like trying was just pointless. I was kinda hoping that u would find something wrong with u because there is always a solution for a problem but no solution for unexplained infertility.

Try acupuncture and nourishing ur uterus. I know low estrogen can cause thin lining, so maybe u can try Soy Iso? lots of success stories, it basically works as clomid but its natural. Also most of my pcos friends use Black Cohosh, apparently works as well as clomid. You can always take holistic approach until ur next appointment.

 

[BelleNuit]

Ya that's what I'm thinking. Technically my estrogen was at a normal level. So possible it's more a circulation issue, or fewer estrogen receptors. Lining may not be a problem at all, sounds like my result was borderline/inconclusive, so being repeated.

A lady at work I'm friends with is pregnant. Just found out. Makes me sad.

I'm just going to forget about it. I can't keep beating myself down. It's not our fault it's not working and it's not anything we have done. Even unexplained is caused by something. They're just not smart enough to figure out what.

 

[puma1986]

Hi golden! So glad to see you checking in! How is your scoop of ice cream sized baby doing?! It seems like just yesterday it was only the size of a sprinkle!

Belle: I am definitely anxious to see the results of your next test. I agree with you though. I don't buy inconclusive. There's always a reason for everything.

I'm having the slowest bbt rise ever. I've been cramping for 5 days straight now. Stupid body.

 

[puma1986]

I just read that cramping for this long can indicate that your fallopian tubes are pushing a fertilized egg to your uterus. Have you guys heard that? A website I read said that 2/3 of women who cramp this long end up being pregnant. I've never heard this before.

 

[GoldenRatio]

Hey puma! Baby is doing good, I think. I didn't get 12week scan so waiting for my 20week scan. My gyno said since the baby was fine at 8weeks, there is no need for 12 as if she is paying for my freaking scan. I like that I don't have to pay anything but all these carelessness in Canada is killing me. Anyways, will wait since I'm stuck here for the time being.

I listen to hb every Saturday with my Doppler so that gives me some sanity. But I would love to see the baby and make sure all the body parts are complete.

Belle don't get discouraged by others being pregnant. I watched my friend and sil getting pregnant and gave birth and their babies are like 5-6 months now. It's really hard but I guess every baby has their own time to show up. Try to take it easy even tho it's never possible lol I still get urges to pee on a stick we thought about ttc so much that it's hard to let go and take a break.

 

[BelleNuit]

Puma, I've never heard that about cramping, but its definitely fun to think about!!! I'm glad you and green are heading into the TWW now so that the "fun" can continue lol.

Thanks Golden, it just hurts is all. I'm officially heading into my 10th month TTC. Our one year isn't far away at all any longer, and that's terrifying. Even more terrifying is I'm already on my 11th cycle (12th cycle if you count my anov). I just feel like every month our chances go down (which they do... statistically speaking).

My RE was wonderful though. He had a very calming bedside manner and was very open and approachable. He said that unexplained infertility was one of the hardest things they treat, but that there are still things they can do. Step 1 would be increasing the target size (aka.... more eggs), so he'll probably put me on clomid or something similar (I've heard clomid can reduce your lining though, which does worry me), Step 2 would be IUI. Step 3 would be IVF. We will do IVF if we have to. We'll take out a medical loan and beg our families for help.

We won't adopt (I think adoption is wonderful and can definitely work. Unfortunately, I work in pediatric mental health and I see all of the horror stories. I just can't do it). So we'll try IVF if we have to because I won't be able to accept a childless life unless we try everything that we can.

 

[BelleNuit]

I cancelled that dinner date tonight. I just couldn't do it. She is so hugely pregnant, and that's how big I would be if I had caught in my first 3 months (I started trying well before her). I just couldn't take it this week. Not after everything else. I feel a little ashamed, but it's not worth it to spend the entire day tomorrow crying on the couch because I had gone.

 

[BelleNuit]

I need to let you know that I have to take a break from BnB for my own mental well-being. My life has become so out of balance. TTC is ALL I think about. Its the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning, its what I think about during every spare moment of the day, its the last thing I think about before going to bed, and its what I dream about all night long. Unfortunately BnB is just furthering that obsession for me.

I just need to let it go for awhile. I'll still check in on you every now and then because I consider you my TTC friends! So don't consider this a goodbye, consider it a see ya later

 

[StarGazerRose]

Hi Ladies,

I was curious how you all can remember to take your temperature every morning and evening?

I have a problem of not being consistent with anything other than a job... I've tried journaling - fail. I've tried a planner (daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly) - all fail. I track things on my apps only when I think about it (which is rare), and I still find it a nuisance to enter in all the information all-the-time.

I tried taking my temperature way back in January for like a week, but I have no clue what happened or why I stopped...

I'm really really low maintenance, so if it doesn't involve shower/clothes and within my 10 mins I give myself to leave for work, then I just don't do it.
I'd do it in my down-time after work (maybe) if it were acceptable to take around 5pm... And when it's time for bed, it's the last thing on my mind.

I know it only takes a few seconds, but basically i need it taped to my head to remember to do it.

Probably another thing that could be holding me back would be my cycles are pretty much only when I take Provera, and Letrozol to ovulate.... And since I've had such low progesterone, I doubt I'd even see a temperature change....

 

[greenarcher]

Belle - I understand the need for a break. Take the time you need

Puma - never heard of that, but if it's different for you, it's probably good!

Star - it was hard for me to get in the habit, but what I did was put the thermometer on the snooze button of my alarm clock!