TTC #1 Hopeful and Obsessed! lol

[greenarcher]

:/ so sorry love. Excuse yourself to the bathroom?

 

[StarGazerRose]

I guess my vacation needs to come with some mind clearing time --- and for stuff not to worry me when I get back home. Oh Vacation why must you be SO far away?! Urgh Three weeks, is too far away!

Trying to throw my head into coding ... Makes me almost forget things.

 

[greenarcher]

Definitely definitely take some time for you. Tv, movies, and books all help me get my mind off things. Are you big on any of those?

 

[StarGazerRose]

I'm in to all those. I just have no desire to do them. I'm just so URGH!!!

I'm gonna go try and relax, maybe just let the tears come now that I'm home.

 

[OhHappyZ]

So over this. This month I choked down grapefruit juice for a week leading up to o, and had am increase in cm. I ate pineapple core five days after. I drank tons of water and dtd perfectly. I had more creamy cm than i have seen since i was a teenager. I was so hopeful. Then i check for cm and it's no longer creamy. It's watery and tinted pink. I am so done. So over this whole process. I'm not sure how many more times i can see blood before i completely lose my shit. I know others have had it worse but I'm obviously not as awesome as them because now I'm headed into month 6 wondering if we will ever conceive on our own.

 

[greenarcher]

So with you. We should all go on strike. Make the men get pregnant.

Buuuut, to be an annoying ray of sunshine, your LP is usually at least 11 days, you're only at 10 today, and your temps are higher than ever. Maybe it was implantation. Have you tested yet? And since you have the same EWCM problem as me, have you looked into a TTC friendly lube?

 

[BelleNuit]

Oh Z I'm sorry to see you have reached the 6 month mark now too. The 6 month mark is awful. I remember completely losing my shit from 6-9 months. I guess I'm 11 months now, but I try not to think about it. Its been 13 cycles, I try not to think about that too.

I still have bad days and angry days, but I'm trying to find my zen. Acupuncture has been helping, coloring helps, take a few mindful moments when I need them helps, and honestly not temping has been HUGE. I've been trying to live my life as normally as possible. There are a lot of changes you can make with TTC to try to increase your odds, but if they aren't tolerable for you there is no point in making yourself miserable over them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that none of us are awesome at this TTC business. After the 6 month mark its just hard. Its hard emotionally, physically, spiritually and hard on your relationship as well. But I know all the ladies here are strong and that you will all get through this one way or another. You all have helped me get through the bad days and for that I'm thankful. I know there will be more. Here for you Z!

 

[OhHappyZ]

Thanks ladies. The only way I make it through these bad days is because of you.

Green, yep I used preseed once this month, right around o. But didn't really need it as I was much wetter this month, I think the grapefruit juice helped. And I tested this morning and got a bfn.

 

[greenarcher]

I really wish there was a F-U smiley. I just want to put my finger up at everything.

That's great to hear! I'll get one thing of grapefruit juice, and if I like it, maybe more.

What kind of test did you use?

Belle - are you due Friday?

 

[OhHappyZ]

I hate grapefruit, but I chugged it down and it really did help.

It was an ic

 

[sil]

Just wanted to pop in and send hugs who those who need it and give a big f u to the process as well. It's exhausting and trying even with the best of marriages. I'm sorry a bunch of you are having some bad days. Here's to a better tomorrow.

 

[sil]

Mind if I have a moan too? I'm having a bit of a rough day. Although this is only our third cycle ttc, it is our 5th month of trying since my cycles are so long and irregular so it feels like much longer. My husband is typically very loving and supportive, but since we were fortunate enough to conceive our two boys easily, he keeps asking me what I'm doing differently. I know he means well, but every single morning it's "are you ovulating? Why not?" The last two cycles he would keep insisting we must have done something wrong or timed it wrong when we got bfn when I know it was all right. I love that he's interested in the process but when I see negative after negative ovulation test in these horribly long cycles it's just so draining to have to talk about it. I snapped this morning and told him "no, and just assume the answer is always no. I will tell you when it's yes!" I felt horrible after. We aren't typically a couple that fights, we are usually pretty good about talking things out when we disagree so I feel bad.

 

[BelleNuit]

Hey Green AF is due Friday or Saturday. I'll test Friday as I will have to call that day to book my HSG. I may get in as quickly as next week for that.

Sorry you are having a tough time of it Sil. Long cycles sure drag the process out. Short cycles are terrifying in their own way. I've racked up a huge number of BFNs in a short amount of time. Oh boy! TTC is not easy

Z hang in their I'm betting it's just a matter of time before you get your BFP! Then you'll be back to your happy go lucky self

 

[StarGazerRose]

I don't have an FU smily but I have another one ...
I think that will do!

Archer you mentioned coloring ... what I would feel good about doing is just scribbling across the whole sheet with every crayon i have!

So I had a brownish spot ... meaning, she's coming. If I see more I'll know for sure, but i've never had just 1 nasty little brown spot.
With my bitchy mood I will say that it's probably true.
If she doesn't show in the morning I still might test. Although I'm feeling it's a waste of a test right now.

Oh and then a tear jerker commercial on my tv-show ... a girl couldn't have babies, ended up adopting ... forget what the commercial was about but when they said that and showed her smiling about was about to be on the floor rocking in fetal position. Why do they do this to me!!!
And every commercial this month has been mentioning babies, and pregnant women!!! >,<

Urgh It's like the universe knows!

 

[BelleNuit]

I'm sorry Star, AF blows. I'm sure I'll be following behind shortly. I try not to get too worked up in the TWW anymore. Its too exhausting. If I get AF this weekend the nice part will be that it is Thanksgiving for us, so I will have lots to distract me from my feelings... plus I'll be able to get my drink on LOL. Of course I would much prefer to announce my new pregnancy to our parents over Thanksgiving... but I didn't get what I wanted for Christmas, new years, valentines day, easter, my birthday mothers day, or fathers day, so why should I expect anything for thanksgiving? :/

 

[greenarcher]

Sil - go send OH to a biology course! Good grief. It kind of makes me happy I'm keeping my OH mostly in the dark as to my testing and obsessing (that and I didn't want to add any performance pressure during those times of the month). But it is promising that you've had your two boys with this same father! Irregular cycles must be the absolute pits. Hang in there girlie! Fights are normal, dont stress about it.

HappyZ - screw cheapies (except wondfos). While we're at it, screw curved FRERs and blue dye tests. There's nothing left that I feel i can absolutely trust. Any more spotting today?

Belle - so Friday morning then, as you'll probably want FMU and to call ASAP right? I'm excited! I'll be even more excited if you don't have any spotting today! If not this month, I wouldn't be surprised if you popped preggo the month after your HSG. What is thanksgiving called in Canada? Still thanksgiving?

Star - yea, that was pretty much my mood yesterday. Destructively pissed. Scribbling on drawings (walls haha!) would have been satisfying. Instead I just listened to an audiobook and enjoy the nice weather. Had some non-baby making sex. What the hell could that commercial even be advertising?! How dumb. One brownish spot does not an AF make! Did you have any more after that? How is today going?

I tested this morning with a cheapie (I caved, but I least I didn't use a pricy test). Neg again, as expected. I would have zero hopes for this month, but I've actually had some weird symptoms, so I was really hoping this would be it. Backache, AF cramps way before she's due to show, dizziness, super closed cervix. My two friends are still pregnant (such a relief), and I've resigned myself to not being their bump buddies. At least this way, I'll have a TON of hand-me-downs when I get pregnant here in a few months (knock on wood).

 

[greenarcher]

This is my favorite fuck you gif:

https://starecat.com/content/wp-content/uploads/go-fuck-yourself-gif.gif

My husband and I will do that at each other sometimes--wave and wriggle our arms and say "fuck you go fuck yourself."

It's the little things.

 

[BelleNuit]

I love your F U gif , hahaha!

Sorry to hear about another BFN green. I'm amazed at the ladies who don't get discouraged by early testing and keeping going!

Thanksgiving is called Thanksgiving in Canada too. We just have it earlier because of our northern climate, we get snow earlier and so our harvest has to be finished earlier. November is usually full blown winter here (and sometimes October too depending on the year). Most of the fall leaves are gone already, there are a few hanging around, and we had a heavy frost earlier this week, I had to scrape my car windows.

Well I'm 11/12 dpo today. No spotting yesterday, I'm hoping that will be the same for today. I'm seriously getting to the point where I don't know how much more of this I can take. And yes, I'll be testing first thing Friday morning. I don't even think I have any tests, so I'll have to buy some, as I am for sure wanting to confirm a BFN either way even if AF doesn't arrive on Friday so that I can call the clinic to book that HSG.

 

[BelleNuit]

Oh it looks like I've messed up my dates, I'm 10/11 dpo today, so today might be the earliest I could expect any spotting. I'm leaning towards thinking I'm 10 dpo though.

EDIT: OMG, I clearly haven't had my morning coffee. I am 11/12 dpo. LOL so I might see some spotting today. I'm leaning towards thinking I'm 11 dpo.

 

[greenarcher]

Oh it looks like I've messed up my dates, I'm 10/11 dpo today, so today might be the earliest I could expect any spotting. I'm leaning towards thinking I'm 10 dpo though.

EDIT: OMG, I clearly haven't had my morning coffee. I am 11/12 dpo. LOL so I might see some spotting today. I'm leaning towards thinking I'm 11 dpo.

Hahaha I'm better at reading your charts than you are

I think you're 12 DPO, and no spotting yet!!! Super excited for you Belle!!