TTC #1 Hopeful and Obsessed! lol

[greenarcher]

Tomorrow I'll be between 8 and 10 DPO. I ordered some wondfos that are due to arrive tomorrow. Will test after work.

Husband and I are in a good place, and have agreed on divorce. He's going to move out once he gets a job. I will probably file for divorce this week.

 

[BelleNuit]

I'm glad to hear that you and DH are on good terms and that you have reached an agreement.

Are you sure its a great idea to let him live with you until he gets a job though? It might be a thought to put a time limit on it. I'm only suggesting that because I know he has been looking for awhile and I don't want you to get burned! My parents did the whole "we're getting a divorce" thing so many times that I lost track. My mom would always move into the spare bedroom and within a couple weeks she would move back into their bedroom. They only ever succeeded in getting divorced once she actually moved out. I'm hoping that it all works out for the best for you! and I'm really glad to hear that it is amicable so far!

Do let us know what you're test says tomorrow! Have you been having any symptoms so far? Its hard to believe that you're already that far along in your TWW!

 

[mnelson815]

I am very glad to hear that it has been going rather well in arranging everything with your OH. I have a friend who is going through a divorce, and it has been the opposite of this for her. They've been separated for over a year and he is still being so difficult with the whole process when she just wants to get on with her life. It is so great to hear that two adults can actually just come to some agreements with everything. Very refreshing! I agree with Belle though in that a time limit in addition might help. Just in case in six months or something from now he still doesn't have anything lined up, it might make the situation extra hard.

Definitely let us know how testing goes! I dont know what I should be wishing for you? Negatives? Positives? Whatever you are looking for, I'm there.

As for me, CD3, annoyed at life that this hasn't worked again, even with femara and everything.
Not taking femara this month and hoping that it was affecting my spotting and that it goes back to the 3-4 days beforehand instead of 7 the last two months I was on it. I would like to live in the fairytale land of maybe a BFP for longer than 7dpo.

 

[BelleNuit]

mnelson its true that fairy tale land is a really nice place to be when TTC. I think thats part of what keeps me going month after month.

I am REALLY sorry that AF got you again. Such a bummer. Maybe the femara was increasing the thickness of your lining and so your body had a harder time holding it together and thats why you got more spotting??

I'm on the fence about starting femara next month or not. I'm so tired of all this, but I don't expect femara to do much either.

 

[mnelson815]

I feel your frustration. I know we haven't been trying definitely as long as you have, but I still know that disappointment when you do everything right, perfect timing, definitely ovulated, and you guys know there is nothing impeding getting pregnant and then it doesn't work.
Every month I threaten that I am done with this all and they should just remove all my lady organs... and then I realize I am being dramatic. It is just mentally draining after a while.

I think you should definitely try Femara though. It definitely created many more follicles for myself. So if you are unexplained it might just be the little bump you guys need? I know you have done your own research on it and the odds aren't much higher, but it gives me hope for you.
When they did my ultrasound a few weeks back and I was on femara I remember them recording about 8-9 follicles in my notes ranging from 18-12mm... which is crazy considering I wasn't on huge follicle stimulants or anything and it was only CD9 or so? It makes me very positive for you guys!
Would they give you a trigger as well? Or does that scare you about twins and such things?

 

[greenarcher]

Today's test was negative. As expected. No symptoms save for some pulling cramps. I don't know what result I want. Negative I suppose, but after trying for 9 months, it's still hard to not get disappointed with one line.

I definitely can see why divorce would be harder to do when you still both live together. And I definitely see the wisdom in setting a limit. However, what I agree to was not to finalize the divorce until he got a job. I want to sell the house asap. I think I might insist that he either 1) move out or 2) help put the house together for viewing.

Plus if he had to move back in with his parents, that would certainly give him more motivation to look for a job. Yea I think I'm going to have to talk to him again.

9 follicles! That's so many!! Wow! I'm sorry it didn't help with bleeding, and I'm sorry AF got you again :/ Looks like you tested on dpo 10 and 11 and got negatives. I learned recently that my friend didn't find out she was pregnant until she was 13 weeks because she still got her period and her period symptoms were really similar to pregnancy symptoms. Not on birth control or anything, but just didn't think she was.

So even arrival of AF still leaves me suspicious. How dumb.

 

[mnelson815]

I've heard that as well! My friend found out at 11 weeks when we were 19 since she kept having a regular cycle.
I so dont understand that!? Like how can you be shedding your lining enough that your think its AF yet a baby still survive and thrive? It's beyond me.

Yeah it was a lot of follicles for femara I thought. My regular GP saw the report and he was like.... are you on fertility drugs? I said yes, and he was like "Oh okay, phew, I was wondering why you had so many follicles!" haha. I was told that my eggs and ovaries look great by that so lets hope if we do IVF we can say the same then!

Yeah I think maybe a talk again with him is in order.
How are you doing with all of this? Are you pretty at peace with the decision?

 

[OhHappyZ]

Wow green, I totally forgot you were going through stuff with him. Glad he is being really mature about it.

So.....I want to heavily apologize for my rant earlier.....turns out that I was growing something while ranting.

 

[mnelson815]

Congratulations!

 

[greenarcher]

No apology needed! Congrats again, momma!

 

[BelleNuit]

Congrats Z on your good news It was only a matter of time

That's great to hear mnelson that femara increased your follicles and it sounds like they were of good sizes fairly early on! When I had my HSG on CD 6 they counted follicles and I had 13, but I don't know if that was antral follicles (which are small resting follicles) or if that was my follicles that were developing or if that is the same thing. 13 antral follicles is normal so I'm going to guess it was antrals they were counting. They didn't let me know the size of the follicles as it was only CD 6. My hopes is that the femara would help thicken my lining as thats the only thing that may be suspect. Although my AF's have increased in flow since I started acupuncture.

My next cycle will be starting right over the christmas holidays, so I'm just not sure if I want to start femara during that time or not! I will see how I'm feeling then and go from there. I'm giving the Chinese herbs another go and would feel okay with giving them a 3rd cycle to really settle my system out before going on femara. Last cycle I had almost no mood related symptoms with my PMS which is UNHEARD of for me. So I definitely think the herbs are doing something! Maybe its just a matter of time for me too! Z can I rub your head or something so I can get some of that lucky baby dust too?? LOL

 

[mnelson815]

Belle I think that would be your Antral follicles they were counting. I had about 22 when they counted mine at the beginning of my August cycle. I think 12-13 on one side and 8-9 on the other.
They typically only measure when they are of significant size, I think at least over 10mm.
Yes I think femara definitely increases lining as my af's have been heavier as well even with all the pre-af spotting. But I've also been doing castor oil packs so that's the likely contributor.
Just enjoy the Christmas holidays and everything and worry about femara later! Honestly though I had no real side effects to it. So No need to worry about anything like that. It is very mild compared to clomid in that respect.

Yeah Z, I could really use some pregnancy hormones thrown this direction if you get a chance!

 

[BelleNuit]

I'm officially in my fertile week and I'm just not feeling it at all. Its gotten all so mechanical. TTC has destroyed my sex life. I think I'm starting to give up

 

[greenarcher]

:/ sorry sex lost it's fun, Belle. I hope you find time for you two as a couple outside your fertile window


(BFN for me this morning)

 

[greenarcher]

Guys, despite the BFN this morning, I think I might actually be pregnant. My bbs are sore (rare for me), and my face cleared up. I'm dizzy, cold, tired, and have been having weird cramps most of the week. I've been having night sweats and a really hard time sleeping the last few nights (never happens).

It's the dizziness, sore bbs, and insomnia that have me believing this might be happening.

We'll see what tomorrow's tests say, I guess. I've been taking wondfos. I might bust out a frer for later tonight.

 

[BelleNuit]

I see you're recording lots of ewcm the last couple days Green? Is it possible maybe you didn't O until a bit later this month?

Wouldn't that be just the luck to be pregnant this cycle lol. Whatever happens I hope you'll be happy with the result and that it will be positive for you!

Yes, I think DH and I need to reconnect. I think I was just numb all last week and so didn't really grieve the end of the cycle until now. I'm just feeling so lost that its been a year, and with christmas coming up I don't know how I'm going to face my huge nosy family. For the most part no one knows we've been trying aside from our parents and a couple of our closet friends. Its been so long that even some of our friends figure we must have just stopped.

 

[greenarcher]

Right? Now add headache and nausea. Good grief.

The MAP is supposed to delay ovulation, so that's what I suspected it might be, but it lasted so long I have no idea. Estrogen causes ewcm, and the MAP is just a giant dose of progesterone.

Do you guys ever do date nights? I can definitely see how grieving makes things hard. But really, you only need to bd once just before ovulation. You can relax a little if you want.

 

[sil]

Green, nervously watching the thread to see your results. What a complicated situation. Big hugs your way. I hope you get what you are wishing for

 

[greenarcher]

Jesus H Christ, I just got a false positive wondfo. Followed it up with a frer and another wondfo, both negative. Thank god I didn't throw my pee away.

My heart is still pounding

 

[greenarcher]

Here's the false positive