TTC #1 Hopeful and Obsessed! lol

[greenarcher]

The follow up frer

 

[BelleNuit]

Ooh that's a mean false positive! My goodness, are you testing again tomorrow??

DH and I had a huge blow up tonight after I caught him smoking weed again. I honestly just lost it entirely. I think its been building for awhile. At the end of it he handed over his "stash" and agreed to quit again. We've been here before so I dunno if I fully believe him. I think he's trying in his own way

 

[greenarcher]

Definitely! Glad I bought a batch of cheapies last week.

Dammit, I'm so sorry to hear belle. How does he think he can keep hiding something like that? I really hope he is trying.

 

[BelleNuit]

I can't see anything on your free, but definitely see it on the ic. Ahh I don't know what to hope for for you! I'll keep checking!

I think addiction is just a mean beast. He thinks he needs it to cope with work stress. He just needs to learn to let go of the crutch

 

[greenarcher]

Maybe he needs a new crutch? Some kind of activity to replace it so he has something to go to when he wants to smoke? I don't know what that would be, but just a thought.

Yea I don't see anything in the frer either. And the wondfo line is thin and a little close to the control. But it was pink and there at the mark! Cruel cruel test

 

[BelleNuit]

Thats why we got him the dog... That's why we moved to a place that is $500 a month more expensive (so he could have his dog), thats why I agreed to his stupid new $2000 tattoo.

He has enough crutches, he was just being selfish.

Screaming at him that they were going to pump me full of fertility drugs that have dubious side effects and increased rates of cancer seemed to scare him enough to give up his stash this time. He's just been in denial this whole time that there is a problem. But it's been a year now. It's been 16 fucking cycles. You can't deny at this point that we are fucking infertile.

We've made up but i still feel like screaming and crying

That wondfo would definitely be playing tricks on my mind. I don't think I'd get any sleep tonight if I were you!

 

[BelleNuit]

Thanks for listening to me vent. I needed to get that off my chest. Night

 

[greenarcher]

Big hugs , love. Tomorrow will be better.

 

[sil]

Green are you sure that's a false positive? I definitely see the line and it has color. Was the photo within the 5 min timeframe? Sometimes they turn like that outside of the time frame but if not it could be catching it really early. I showed positive on wondfo two days before frer turned positive.

Belle, I'm so sorry that your OH is being so frustrating with this. I'm hoping you were able to talk some sense into him. Big hugs

 

[mnelson815]

Holy crap that wondfo is crazy! I do agree with the placement being off, but I cannot believe that! Wow, my heart would have been pounding out of my chest as well!

Oh Belle, I honestly think you're doing all you can with putting up with it. I would feel the exact same way, and I am at least happy DH hears you out and doesn't get so defensive to shut you out. I know you've been down the "Im quitting" road many times, but at least he offers that suggestion and hopefully puts in some effort before he falls back off. I hope he can eventually kick the habit for you both. I agree that even though he may think it's helping him "cope" its really just a distraction, and there are many other healthier distractions he could find, especially during this time in your lives with TTC. I hope it turns around for you!

Green, I will be stalking obsessively until AF shows. I still cannot believe that line!!

 

[greenarcher]

Yes! Line was there at 5 minutes! I would think maybe frer might be off, but the line is so clear! The other reason I think it's false is that I had no other lines on 2 other wondfos.

About to test this morning with fmu!

 

[greenarcher]

Negative. And the tiniest bit of pink spotting.

 

[mnelson815]

Is the HPT above the LH from yesterday?

 

[BelleNuit]

Do you feel relieved?? AF is always disappointing even if you were kind of on the fence about what outcome you wanted

 

[greenarcher]

Yes that's yesterday's pos

 

[mnelson815]

Okay, because I was like... I see something on that one...! Haha.
How many dpo do you think you are?

 

[greenarcher]

I do feel a little relieved, but mostly I still feel in limbo. Like, what if that one test had extra dye and was right?

I think I'm 11 dpo

 

[greenarcher]

https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test-gallery/image.php?galleryid=618196

Half of voters see a line in my FRER. I can sort of see what they see in the photo, but I can't see it in the actual FRER.

But today's wondfo has no positive votes. And I agree. https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test-gallery/image.php?galleryid=618358

 

[mnelson815]

I can see what they are seeing on your FRER too, but I don't think its a positive. I had very similar lines on FRER's in the past and they were all BFNs.
I think you can rest assured that the wondfo was a one off for now!

 

[greenarcher]

Thanks

A big glob of ewcm (sorry!) just now. WTH, where was all this when I was trying to have a kid?!

CM more tan.