TTC #1 Hopeful and Obsessed! lol

[BelleNuit]

Oooh puma I felt so much better not knowing that lol. But I guess you just never know who might be reading.

Well you are at the perfect point in your cycle for implantation cramping, so I hope that's what it is for you!

It would be so lovely if we both got our BFPs this cycle... A girl can dream right!

 

[mnelson815]

Well isn't that just disturbing haha.
Honestly, I don't know what many men would get out of all of our symptoms and graphic descriptions of not such pretty things.
I however, have always felt the creeps will find these boards no matter what, so all the power to them haha.

I think I might have ovulated yesterday with my first positive opk.... which I am not thrilled about, but will BD again today and tomorrow to cover bases. Which we could have done more previous to the Opk, but had to get a pap done so couldn't be BDing for 48 hours before hand.

I am so excited for you girls! Such promising symptoms this month. I, on the other hand, have given up until I get all this junk in my uterus removed. Then maybe I will start to get excited for each month again.

 

[BelleNuit]

mnelson I would probably feel the same way if I was in your situation. I've pretty well given up myself.

Had some tan cm this evening, so I'm sure its just a matter of time now. AF due Friday. bbs are fricken sore, but likely just due to progesterone and nothing more. Had a bit of an acne break out today too... likely due to the same thing.

I'm kinda looking forward to starting femara next cycle, even though I don't really expect it will help

 

[mnelson815]

I know you aren't feeling too positive about Femara, and I definitely get all your reasoning behind it, but I think it can be a really exciting time. You've been trying a lot of the same things for the past year, so it is definitely exciting when something new gets introduced into the game! I am excited to see what changes you have on it.

AFM - Temp spike this morning. We are going to BD one more time tonight since we missed our earlier opportunities. But the SMEP method has you bd even longer after ovulation so maybe this might still help something... even though the egg only survives for 24 hours after ovulation... Here's hoping! haha. Maybe I ov'd later in the day and if DH has some of those speedy sperm that get there in the 30 minute time frame, then maybe there is a chance? I am grasping over here... haha.

February will be our last cycle to try before surgery so I am getting anxious. I just want the surgery so that I can at least have a nice little home for an embryo, but I am just going back and forth in my head about what we should do after. Dr said we could try naturally or do IUI, both he said could definitly get me pregnant... but I am a little pessimistic over here with my ZERO positive tests to date so far. So, do I just skip wasting the money on IUI since it only has a 12-18% success rate and try to push them for IVF that is aorund 60%? I mean, its my money so if I dont want to waste it on some IUI's that have such a low success rate, should I push? Or does that undermine the RE? I dont want to be a pain.

 

[BelleNuit]

Well ultimately it's up to you mnelson what you decide to do! If it were me I would do 3 natural cycles, or even 3 femara/clomid cycles if you wanted a little extra push. Your body will need some recovery time anyway from the surgery! If at that point your not feeling up for IUI then I think it's fine to look at IVF.

I'm inclined to go for as little intervention as possible. IVF would be my very last option, and we would only do it if we hadn't gotten pregnant in over 2 years of TTC.

I don't think you should be worried about advocating for the treatment option that is best for you! Don't worry about your REs feelings, they can take it lol

Filled femara prescription today, $6 for 5 pills. Wowzers!

 

[mnelson815]

I wish I had your kind of patience Belle. I just am the worst with waiting and I think I have almost had my fill. I keep going back and forth on the IUI. If DH had really high counts, then I might be more inclined... but that is not our situation. Maybe I just need more information? I also know there is a waitlist for IVF for my clinic, a couple months at least, so maybe we will sign up for it and then try naturally in the mean time before we finally get in? I am only 29 but I can't help but feel that time is not on my side. I can literally hear the clock ticking all day long.

I am so excited you got your Femara filled. When are you taking it? Days 3-7? I am so interested in seeing what it will do for you in terms of cycle length, timing of O, luteal phase, etc. I am going to be stalking your chart like crazy!

 

[BelleNuit]

I guess I don't hear the clock ticking quite as loud. I feel like I still have time, and I don't really begrudge having an extra year of child free living. We learned a lot about ourselves this past year. In some ways TTC has just become part of life. If I distance myself from it, it hurts less. I think I've disengaged. Or maybe I've just gotten so busy with other things in my life that I don't have as much time to obsess. When we first started trying, a baby was going to be my great escape from responsibilities I didn't want to face.... Kinda stupid in hindsight HAHA. Its actually good we didn't get pregnant. I just feel more and more indifferent. I've realized that I could have a meaningful and awesome childfree life if thats what I wanted (or if thats what I get), I could also have a meaningful and awesome life with children in it, if that's what I wanted. I think I'm getting to a healthier place in it all, and the extra time has done us good. I don't know how I will feel in a year, if I will want IVF or not. I used to feel like I HAD to do IVF, and I don't anymore. Its an option for me, one of many.

I don't know if femara will work for us, but I know that its likely not going to make anything worse! I'm kind of curious to see what my cycle does with femara too. I'm hoping it will get a bit longer, but it will likely just stay the same. Nice to know I have some stalkers LOL

If it makes you feel any better mnelson beyond a certain number higher counts don't actually increase the likelihood of success with IUI. Sometimes they will use one sample for two IUIs because there is a high enough count to make it go twice as far.

Well, spotting is getting heavier and I definitely feel like AF is on the way, so I'm treating myself tonight with chocolate and wine. Life is pretty sweet

 

[BelleNuit]

Dirtbag husband is still smoking weed and lying about it.

 

[BelleNuit]

We aren't going to try this month. I'm not going to track anything, or take femara. We won't prevent but I need a break from all of this. Not trying.

DH is smoking up the last of his weed today. If he can stay clean and stick with it I will consider femara next cycle. If not then I dunno. I'm just done with this and need a break

 

[JoJazie]

It's a battle to the end! Which will win next cycle!?!

Cycle 1 for me:


Witch score 1 V Spermy score 0​

 

[BelleNuit]

How are things going mnelson?

Today is likely my O day based on previous cycle history. I haven't been doing anything to track O, but we've still been BDing, so I guess you could call that NTNP. Either way, its been a nice break, and there are other things keeping me busy so I feel less obsessive about it all.

 

[mnelson815]

Good to hear Belle! I know you were saying you were going to be taking a bit of a break from it all, so it is nice to know you have been just going on with life and not letting TTC take over it all! That is hard with predictable cycles with tell tale signs, even when NTNP, you still know when you're fertile! Haha.

Here I sit on CD3, of course another negative cycle last month and the spotting started early again. Getting pretty annoyed at that to be honest. I cannot wait for March and my surgery as I feel I will get some really good answers to this spotting and if it was due to uterine shape, polyps or just plain hormones at the end of the day. I am also excited I only have one more AF to happen before surgery! I have been living with a wonky shaped uterus my whole life, so I wonder what it will be like with a brand new cavity in there!

I am also really struggling between IUI or IVF. I can't decide. I feel like I am damned if I do or dont either way! Either we go straight to IVF and I will always wonder if IUI would have worked for us, or I do IUI and it doesnt and then I am pissed I spent the money on it! haha. I also feel like IUI with injectables would be a really good option... except its like 1/4 the cost of IVF or one cycle... so lets get real... that is a waste of money for me. Ugggggggggggh, I am lost.

 

[BelleNuit]

Mnelson I have been grappling with those same questions! I think it's a matter of which is worse for you, potentially wasting money or always wondering if the lower cost/least invasive intervention could have worked.

For me we would do IUI with femara (not with injectibles as the risk for multiples is too high in my opinion) before IVF. That way I would know that we did all we could. IVF has significant risks to it (for both the baby and the mother) that I would rather not expose myself to unless absolutely necessary.

 

[BelleNuit]

Also I'm super excited that you only have one more AF before your surgery!! I really have high hopes for you that things will come together afterwards!!

 

[mnelson815]

Yes you are right, I should weigh risks as well as rewards. Good point!
I know what you mean about injectables, but since your husband has 234168401386436051436 sperm, I think that is a definite risk for you guys. For us on the other hand, I am wondering if we would even still catch a single egg with his guys! Although, I do hate that with IUI you get the highest orders of multiples since it can't really be controlled, unlike with IVF. I am definitely open to twins, but not anything more than that. Good points to think about!

Are you going to try Femara next cycle? I really want to see if it adds any positives to your cycles for you! I think it is totally normal for you guys to wait out longer to get invloved with fertility treatments. You are very young in the Infertility world, and if you are open to trying to conceive naturally and it just taking you longer than average, I think that is a great option for you guys! Especially since nothing is proven to be wrong with either of you. I, on the other hand, CANNOT WAIT any longer haha. My Type A personality will not allow me to. I have to feel like I am actively moving forward in the steps. I think we are thinking about doing 2 IUI cycles and then moving on to IVF. Especially because we have such a crazy year this year with 6 weddings, 3 of which are quite some travel for, plus we both turn 30 this year and are planning trips for each other to celebrate those birthdays. Therefore, we are running out of timeslots to pop some babies in here via Assisted Reproduction!

How is everything else non-baby related going?? Hows the new house? The pup? Work?

 

[BelleNuit]

Ya, I think its a fair question to look at the risks and benefits for any fertility procedure (femara included!).

I have thought long and hard about what we would do if we got pregnant with triplets or more. Ultimately I think I would opt for a selective reduction. I wanted to make this decision for myself before I found myself in that situation so that I could decide what was best for me without emotions and hormones getting in the way.

It almost seems impossible to believe that we both might actually get pregnant one of these days lol.

We will be doing femara next cycle and I will be resuming acupuncture as well after AF shows (taking a break from it all this month). I was fully prepared to start femara this cycle, but things kind of exploded and taking a break was the right decision I think. I feel more level headed and grounded about the whole thing.

I can totally hear where you are coming from wanting to get the show on the road already!! I would be feeling pretty impatient if I was in your situation too!!

Things other than TTC are going great! We are well settled into our house, it feels like home now and our Zola Bear is growing, she's already beyond 50 pounds! She has been a lot of fun! Work has been keeping me busy too, which is a nice distraction from things How are things going in your world other than TTC?

 

[mnelson815]

At this point, I wouldn't even think about triplets for ourselves. I mean, we can't even get one sperm to meet one egg, haha. I think it would be pretty near impossible for DH and I to end up with some triplets, even with injectables.

I completely feel you on the impossible feelings. I honestly some days wonder if my body can even do this. I think its crazy how I definitely ovulate, definitely get a temp spike, hormones are all regular, tubes are clear, DH has good enough sperm to get there, and we BD with good timing and then NOTHING! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh.

Things are doing okay over here. We have a pretty big year coming up with all the vacations and weddings. Work is blah. Home life with our fur-child is always amazing Just Love him! Other than that, I feel like ttc takes over everything. Either I am sitting around waiting to O, or sitting around and waiting for spotting to start. I feel like ALL I DO IS TTC. I think I need a hobby.

 

[OhHappyZ]

It really sucks to be back in the ttc game. I really thought it was over till next year when we try for #2. Ugh. This process is awful.

 

[BelleNuit]

I know what you mean mnelson, it seems foolish to worry about triplets when you can't even seem to make 1! LOL But its something that happens sometimes!

Ya, part of me has given up on really believing that this could ever happen for me. I think if I do ever get pregnant I will be in shock until the baby arrives lol. Like I'm trying to make peace with the idea that we might end up a childfree couple at the end of it all. You pretty much summed up how I feel about unexplained infertility. Nothing is wrong with us, nothing at all, and we are on our 18th cycle. Its nuts.

Sounds like you have a super busy year coming up... which might make for a nice distraction from all the TTC madness! And furbabies definitely make life better I don't know what I would do without my cats and my Zola Bear!

Man mnelson i could have written your last post myself LOL I was also just talking to DH about how I need a hobby... that sort of thing gets easier in the summer when its a bit warmer out!

Z I am so very sorry to hear that you have to join us in TTC again. I really do hope that it won't take you long till your next pregnancy. It all sucks, sorry dear

AFM I'm likely in my TWW at this point. AF is due next Wednesday based on my typical 26 day cycle pattern. I definitely feel crabby/irritable enough to be in the tww lol

 

[mnelson815]

Z - so sorry to have you back in here with us. I hope that this goes very fast for you and that you are back in mommy mode in no time! I will say it is nice to have another person in this thread again however, it's mostly turned into belle and I feeling pretty down on ourselves! I hope we can all make this happen for us in 2017!

Belle, I saw in another thread today that you bought "It starts with the egg". I actually bought the exact same book this weekend after almost a year of my acupuncturist telling me to get it! How crazy! I have read quite a few of the points you were making in the clomid thread and t gave me a lot of hope! My acupuncturist actually started me on a new supplement regimine before I started reading and I'm so glad I did! It's a lot of pills but it looks like it can be super promising for myself!

I sometimes feel like we read each other's minds with all this ttc business. I cannot wait for this stupid deep freeze to be over so I can start doing more things outside again! I am not built for -35.