TTC #1 Hopeful and Obsessed! lol

Welcome Sasha, I'm sure you won't have to wait too much longer for your bfp! 85% conceive in the first year. You've just found your way into a group of ladies who were unfortunately part of the 15% who didn't, for various reasons.

Well I think DH and I are going to go ahead with IUI and femara and cycle monitoring (without trigger) for May!
 
I hope so Bellenuit!

I have a blood test to test my thyroid hormone and that all came back normal so I guess it's just a waiting game. I'm juat so impatient it feels like an eternity.
 
Ya I remember feeling really impatient the first 6 months that we tried. I thought FOR SURE I would be pregnant within 3 months and DEFINITELY by 6 months. I remember feeling annoyed that it hadn't happened yet. After the 6 month mark I got anxious and worried and angry. The closer I got to the 12 month mark the angrier I got. I would scream at the top of my lungs in my car on my way home from work. Every AF I was utterly gutted and would cry and cry. I'm nearing 18 months now and feel pretty indifferent. We keep trying and I keep hoping that maybe someday it will work, but I never expect someday to be the cycle that I'm currently on. Eventually you let go of the craziness of TTC and get back to living... at least until you start fertility treatments. I imagine IVF would bring with it it's own challenges. We'll consider IVF closer to the 2 year mark, possibly November, but maybe not until January.

I mostly just feel defeated. I've given up.
 
Hey ladies. Hope dveryone is hanging in there still. Looks like we're synced up again belle. I'm due to o today, and my husband is 3 hours away. This is obviously not our month. What a waste.

I am very interested in hearing how iui goes next month belle. Maybe you won't need it.
 
Hey Green, glad to be cycle buddies :) I think I'm going to O tomorrow, but maybe not until Tuesday. Haven't gotten a pos OPK yet! (although haven't tested yet today). Sorry that your cycle didn't work out this month timing wise. Did you manage to get some BDing in a little earlier?
 
Only on cd7, so this month will be a wash. I'm enjoying following g you in your tww though :)
 
Tww is uneventful so far. I keep having twinges down there. But I've had twinges before and they've amounted to nothing. I'm pretty emotional and have acne break outs galore. I'm not tracking or checking anything. I will test next Saturday because it's my brother's wedding and I want to know if I can drink without worry. It will be towards the end of my TWW. I just feel depressed and angry. So going to do some self care tonight to feel better
 
Hey ladies,

Just thought I would update here. I see a few of us have spent most of our time on the LTTTC and ART boards now, but in case anyone googles this thread I want them to know the outcome of the procedures I had done. Since I am one who always googles and hates when people don't update at the end haha.

Had follow up Sonohysterogram last Friday. That was the WORST. My first SHG wasn't so bad, little bit of spotting, and more cramping than an HSG but overall nothing crazy. This one was insane. The first catheter was leaking, so I had saline just pouring out of me for a nice bit. Then the cramping was so terrible that I thought I might actually throw up. They were trying to determine if there was any scar tissue from the surgery, polyps that remained or grew back,or if it looked all cleaned up. Well after catheter one, they decided to try another one, that one also leaked but whatever, they got all the pictures they wanted.

I have a little bit of a residual septum, but that was to be expected. It is less than 1cm, and the reason my RE left it is because I have a small dip on the outside of my uterus as well, so they wanted to ensure they maintain the integrity of the uterus ' width so that if I am to get pregnant, I will not suffer a rupture. Anyways, less than 1cm is better than the 5 I had before dividing it in two. I met with the RE last night and he went over all of this. Now I just have a small dip at the top instead of a divided looking uterus. He showed me the pictures, as well as the pictures of polyps... those are crazy. I mean, its just a fluffy pink ball, but it looked HUGE and he had to remind me that the camera they use is so small so my 6mm polyps looked massive to myself.
All in all, everything is clear, no new polyps, no scar tissue so we were free to move forward. I asked a bunch of questions and he was great at answering them all. He then suggested moving forward with IUI. He said it was up to us to do IUI or IVF but he thought we were great candidates for IUI since DH has a below normal sperm count but not quite male factor IF yet. He said it is much more successful with cases like ours than with something like unexplained since getting more of his sperm up there would likely yield a greater benefit for us since someone with a regular count probably gets them up there already. However, I still feel that with the possible endo I dont know if IUI will really work, and I worry about doing 3 rounds and then having to still pay for IVF and adding that to our costs. We would also have to wait 2 months after IUI to start IVF. So right now we are trying to weigh our options. Our RE said that with 3 tries at IUI we would have a cumulative success rates around 38%, where IVF would likely be 60%. Trying to weigh what we should do right now. I am the youngest I will be right now, so that means lower doses of stims, likely better quantity and quality of eggs, and all of those factors to think about before putting IVF off for 6+ months. If we decide to go with IVF, I would call in my next cycle which would be around the 25th of May, and we would likely be offered a cycle right away they said. So that would be starting suppression during June since I am on an antagonist protocol because of my age and ovarian reserve, and then starting stims around end of June, possible early July retrieval.

ITS ALL HAPPENING FINALLLYYYYYYYYYY.... now just to make the right decision....
 
Wow mnelson!!! After SO MUCH waiting you finally have a chance to really try!! Whatever you decide to do it will be the right choice for you. It sounds like you are leaning towards IVF, go for it I say if that is what feels right to you!

And it's true, unexplained pretty much has the worst success rates for IUI lol. But that's what we're going with for now :) I start my cycle monitoring today!
 
Hello Belle, Green, & MNelson! I was seriously hoping to log on and see one of you had gotten your BFP! We are still not TTC but I am excited to try again once we move (in the next 4-9 months) sigh. Belle so excited to hear about your new approach! You know what's odd? I haven't had any EWCM, any twinges, or ANYTHING since I've stopped TTC. So either I was absolutely crazy before or my body has realized I've stopped trying and has also stopped trying to get pregnant lol
 
Ya it feels like we've already been ttc for an eternity lol. I'm hoping we'll all make it there eventually, one way or another. Baseline ultrasound on Wednesday was good, showed 19 antral follicles. I'll be going back in a couple days on CD 10 to see how they've been progressing. Will be interesting to see how many follicles the femara has me developing. Probably just one is my guess.

Puma I do think there is a mind body connection, so your body probably got the memo that right now isn't the time to try! I'm excited for you to get back to trying again after your move! Although I'm sure the break for it all is fantastic :)
 
Hey yall,

I'm new to this forum. I figured I would try it out. I don't have many friends who I can talk to about it. This is my third month TTC, and the first month of me actually watching for my ovulation with a OPK. At this point, I am at 4DPO, and I know that's too early for anything to be determined, but I have googled every thing I possibly could on how to look for early pregnancy symptoms. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's pretty difficult. I've only been TTC for three months, and it has been very stressful!

Any tips for getting through this wait? I already know i'm going to have a hard time waiting to take a pregnancy test til my missed period, but I'm going to attempt.

Any advice is nice. Thank you :)
 
Welcome to bnb Jen. I'm sure you will be pregnant very soon. The monthly testing threads in the TWW forum are a great way to meet new people and symptom spot throughout the TWW.

This is my 22nd cycle and I can tell you that early pregnancy "symptoms" don't amount to much and are essentially the same as progesterone symptoms that you would get before AF anyway. Enjoy your TWW knowing that you've done everything you can and there is nothing left to be done. If you try long enough you might even find yourself looking forward to the TWW. For myself, it's become a reprieve from stressful fertility treatments.

All the best to you.
 
Hey ladies, how are you all doing?

I have finally reached the point where I break down crying every time I see a baby or a pregnant woman. My fertility doctor thought it would be a good idea to send me to a high risk specialist to discuss things. Im sitting in an office full of pregnant women and and babies and I feel sick. I told my husband that I hate my body and that this isn't fair.

All I want is a baby. I've been having panic attacks and anxiety attacks and am on numerous medications because I can't keep it together.

Having a baby should be simple. Struggling to conceive is cruel. :( I'm so sad.
 
Hey puma, I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with things. I have been there too. I almost burst into tears when meeting my friend's newborn for the first time. Infertility really is awful to go through. When we first started chatting here I never expected that the 3 of us would all face infertility. Those seem like terrible odds lol.

What has really been helping me is that I made a friend (who I found online) from my city who is also going through infertility. We meet every couple of weeks and talk about our experiences. Talking about it out loud with someone who understands is really helpful. Before I couldn't talk about it at all without crying.

AFM we are on our second IUI now. I'm not sure what to expect. I have no expectations either way to be honest. My lining was the thickest it's ever been and we had a really good sperm count. But we only had one egg and the IUI was done too early (imo) so it could probably go either way. I'm just sick of this all.
 
I love you guys. Going through thus sucks. And it's different for everyone going through it. You're both in my thoughts often.

We're just ntnp, sort of tracking bd. I don't expect to be pregnant, but getting back on birth control seems pointless.
 
You both are so amazing. I wish I had someone like that to talk to. We were all drawn to this thread for a reason; this is extremely evident now. I hope your IUI does magic this month Belle.

Green, I know exactly what you mean. We aren't trying and just using the pull out method until we move. But if we can't get pregnant when intentionally letting our swimmers free, then the likelyhood of accidentally getting pregnant with the pull out method would be impossible.

I have cried every. Single. Freaking. Day about this. I also found a gray hair. My body is failing me. :( I'm getting too old. Ill be 31 this November and I'm pissed the fuck off that the one thing in the world that I want.... I cant have.

I want to punch women in the face who are pregnant and complain about it and who don't want their babies. FFS! Getting pregnant is suppose to be easy!

Ladies, we should all just fly to some location for the weekend and drink our sorrows away. (This is coming from someone who never drinks anymore). And we can eat pumpkin pie and cry.

Have you seen the movie Storks yet? If not? Don't. You will cry. The little boy is basically my son begging for a brother or sister. Hes going to be 10. TEN!!!!!! And he's been begging me for years!!!!!!!!!

Life is cruel. My chest and heart hurts. I'm so angry ladies. I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about it.
 
I'm so sorry Puma. With your autoimmune condition I can understand how you might feel like your body is failing you. Since we are still unexplained most of the time I just feel confused about why this is happening to us at all. That said you are not too old, you are only 31 which is an age that many women have their first baby at these days. What is happening is not fair and its completely okay to feel angry and sad about this whole thing. Infertility, regardless of the outcome, is something that needs to be grieved and unfortunately it is a grief that isn't well understood by many. If you need someone to talk to consider asking your local fertility clinic if they have a support group. While the chat forums (including you wonderful ladies) are immensely helpful I can't stress enough how good it has felt to actually say these things out loud to someone else going through the same thing. I'm now able to talk about my infertility without crying, whereas before I could literally feel my heart clenching every time it was brought up.

I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel not even being able to try right now. We aren't able to do an IUI for July and I feel like regular BDing is kind of pointless lol.. So we'll have our last IUI in August and if that doesn't work out I want to wait until December/January for IVF. I think for those months in between we'll just ntnp too. Continuously ttc is awful.

I'm here for you puma, whenever you need!
 
HEY LADIES!!!!

Me and Hubbie are on cycle #2 of TTC our first little peanut. Im 28 and hes turning 27 in August.

This cycle I started using OPKS which are very helpful in knowing when BDing is most important! ( its important daily..but...you know lol)

I am hopeful this cycle, on CD15 and had a dark OPK test result this morning so...within the next 12-36 hours my little egg will drop! So excited.

AF is expected April April 16th, so the TWW is realllllllllll


I have not had any ovulation symptoms but im sure thats OK...

just looking for some support this go around, I know its early in our journey but im a bit of a control freak and when I know im doing all that I can for a result and it doesnt work, I try and figure out what the issue was and try and fix it!

But ....we shall see what is in the cards for us this time! Trying to be hands off but my hands are never idle. lol

Baby Dust to all !!!!

xoxoxoxo



Hey, I was the same way 4 years ago when my husband and I first started trying. I was 27 then and just now turned 31. One thing I've learned is you really have NO control. I myself am a big control freak.

I've done everything from herbs, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, hsg, clomid, "relaxing", not thinking about it. 4 years later still no baby. We fall in the category of "unexplained" infertility" Next up is iui in August.

To avoid any headaches and heart aches I would recommend going to your doctor for a quick evaluation and also send your husband for a sperm analysis. It's way to early to say there's a problem but it doesn't hurt to let your gyno know you're trying. I wish you the best and I pray that no on else goes through what I have.

Lots of love Mandy**
:dust::dust:
 
Hope everyone is doing well. I'm on here more and more frequently these days. I've been stalking Belle and her iui cycles.

Puma, are you doing any better, love? Did you find a local support group? I'm right there with you ttc #1 and turning 31 in september. My mom was 31 when she had her 6TH CHILD. I can't believe I'm not a mom yet, sometimes.

I've reached the apathy stage, Belle. I stopped tracking anything, just try to bd every 3 days or so. At this point, I've resigned myself to never having kids. I don't think it's possible for us. Now, my mental state is, if we get pregnant, it will be a nice surprise. Expecting nothing of course.

Ugh. I think the 3 of us need to start a TTC #1 thread in the LTTC section. (Puma still with us, of course)
 

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