ttc#1 new looking for buddy!

[TTTTina]

When I got pregnant with my son I didn't want kids and I had always thought my whole life that I never wanted any because I was terrified of the birthing process so I was always like I'm good without kids, and then I find myself pregnant one day within the first month of ever having sex with my oh and no trying and stupidly not on birth control and It was so easy and now that I really want one it hasn't happened yet. I feel like maybe it's karma for not wanting one the first time around. I dunno.

 

[MH5280]

Karma really is a bitch... Her and Aunt Flow must be bff's!

 

[Jules8]

I have always wanted kids, but there was a phase in my late teens when I worked at a daycare and said..nuh uh no kids no. lol I realized quickly though that the behavior of some of the kids had to do with parents and not the actual kids so that was a pretty short phase. If karma isn't giving me a kid based on my 18 year old immature self then shame on her.

I am always happy for people that I know really want kids and I think will make great parents. I think the hardest thing is watching others that are really adamant about not wanting kids or people that can't handle their kids having like 10 of them and just raising them in bad environments. Maybe my judgement of those people is why karma is punishing me? lol

The good news is that the ladies who are pregnant are having healthy pregnancies and some of the questions of why it isn't happening as quickly for some of us have been answered, and so far not huge unfixable situations. Annoyingly difficult..maybe, but not impossible. I have also went through threads of people that have struggled like us and most of them eventually had babies, some more than one. We just have to keep trying and having faith.

 

[TTTTina]

I got this fertility kit thing that came with a test for men and women, I have not been able to take mine yet but we did his last night and I'm pretty sure we did it right....lol......if we did do it right then it shows that his sperm count is low. So I know it's just a store bought test but I think I'll ask the doctor about it and see what she thinks.

 

[MH5280]

Tina, it's definitely worth checking out! What did he have to say about it?

 

[Jules8]

I would get it checked out too. Even if it is low, it may be good in the other areas it doesn't show. Also, it would test the exact number. The kit is a good place to start though.

What test was it btw? My hubby has been dragging his feet to get the SA, I told him that yes there may be something going on with me but he should make sure everything is good too. I was thinking of grabbing the kit one day and just bringing it home. lol The only thing that I am not sure about is how reliable it is. If it showed that he was low then I think he would be more motivated to get further tests, or if it isn't it would make us feel a little bit better.

 

[MamaBunny2]

My OH used a SpermCheck test we bought at the local store. It showed a line... faint, but definitely there.

 

[TTTTina]

We got the e.p.t. Male & Female Complete Home Fertility Kit, I got it too late to do my test so I have to wait for next cycle. He said he would be willing to go to the doctor and get an SA. Then he said he would do things to help his sperm along if it turns out he does have a problem in that area.

 

[Jules8]

I will have to check it out! Thanks!

I have kinda tapped out of TTC this cycle. I am still temping, but it's been very inconsistent times so my chart is rediculous.lol I bought all those OPK's and haven't even touched them.

I figured that a break from all that stuff until I go to the doctor really isn't going to hurt anything. Once I know what is going on and start my medicine I am starting fresh with TTC. I think my cycles woke up on the wrong side of the bed when I first started, so I am putting it to rest and waking it up on the right side. lol

 

[MH5280]

Jules I like how you worded it!

I found myself looking at my cycle and mentally planning "ok this day we should have sex" gah! Last month was so easy to not try! And this month I'm like "well maybe" but I know something is wrong so it's just gonna get my hopes up for absolutely no reason! I was reading on webmd, and one thing said alcohol can cause abnormally shaped sperm... DING DING DING!!! That's what I think our problem is! Not that my husband is an alcoholic but at the end of the day he likes to come home and have a few beers. And the weekends is maybe more than a few... I understand we aren't actively ttc right now, but I feel like this would be a huge help to reverse his morphology! You create new sperm every 2 months, so I think it's a good idea!! But I just need to convince him to get on board... And that's not happening yet.... He thinks if he stops just the week we'd ttc then he's good... Advice??? I know work is stressful and blah blah blah, but it's a good time to stop drinking so maybe in 2 months we can try again! I just do NOT see him going for this.... Ugh!

 

[Jules8]

If he has a beer every single day then maybe start with 2 or 3 nights switching it out for something else? It's a start at least. Also, research some vitamins that can help improve morphology.

I started my husband out with a mens multivitamin then added Maca a few weeks later. I did not mention that it was for TTC, I just brought them home with mine and he started taking them. (I am sure he figured it out though) Starting out with a normal vitamin first def. helped to sneak in the Maca. I think if I surprised him with a bunch of fertility vitamins he would have been more hesitant. He has not had an SA done so I don't know if the maca makes a difference, but he says it gives him energy. I think it is increasing his sex drive as well. I looked at the bd days in the beginning of tracking and there was a definite increase the month he started taking it.

My hubby is a heavy smoker and a coffee addict. He has cut smoking back a little bit due to me making him roll them instead of buying packs. Other than that, trying to get him to cut back is nearly impossible so I feel your pain. I feel better knowing he is taking something to help a little at least (may be a mental thing). lol

 

[MamaBunny2]

Oh wow that's interesting. My OH has become quite the avid daily drinker. He too, will usually stop and get a tall can or two or some bottles on his way home from work and enjoy. He doesn't get drunk but I'm like helloooooo that's such a waste of money considering what we are expecting and preparing for now!!! I mentioned more than once about his drinking and that we both should stop for awhile when TTC but of course that didn't go well on his end. I can't complain too much... he used to be a pothead and quit that because I was very clear on my standards regarding such activities. So now he's an alcoholic... yay.

 

[TTTTina]

Lucky for me my so is not a drinker but he is a pot smoker and I really don't see him quitting that so, I too, feel your pain. He said he'd cut down but I dunno. He said he'd definitely do anything else to help. I got him on a men's multivitamin with the vitamins they say help sperm fertility. I also got prenatals to start taking but I think they are messing with my digestive tract and I don't like it. Lol.

 

[MH5280]

Ok this may be a bit of a rant... Sorry. I feel like I've been so fucking emotional lately! I cried during a tv show last night cuz this girl broke up with her boyfriend! Haha!

So I tried to tell My husband "maybe we should stop drinking for a few months, and take our stress out on working out instead" he didn't say anything, I said "don't ya think" he says "huh? What'd you say" so I repeat myself. He said sounds good but probably won't happen. I asked why and said that he stopped drinking before for a few months and lost weight. So we can do it again and be skinny and sexy and have a baby, it's a win win win... Again he responds "what? What did you say" I said forget it and walked away. I know we stopped but I don't want this to keep getting pushed off. We may not be TRYING but we should be proactive about what's wrong... Cuz something IS wrong that isn't just gonna go away... I mean maybe but... I feel like us being here in Illinois right now has taken such a toll on us both, with the opportunity to Move back home, I think we are both beyond stressed, but I'd much rather be proactive about all this so when we do try we are healthy. And he's the worst person to discuss his feelings but Im going CRAZY!!! I've told him I feel like he doesn't care and he says not to say that cuz he does. So like is this just me being crazy? I feel like although it's on the back burner these are things we need to do in the mean time.
Ugh! Well I was typing this up and then got busy! So I forgot what else I was going to say! Haha. Darn work!

 

[Afairchild5]

Hey ladies, haven't been on here in awhile but just wanted to pop in and say I think about this group from time to time and send my best wishes!! Guys are so difficult! I'm sorry some of yall are having trouble getting the hubs to do everything they can. They deal with things so differently then us. Hoping yall are all able to get them to see why it's so important and that you all get your BFPs!!! Xoxo

 

[Jules8]

Men can just be so difficult sometimes. lol Why can't they just think the same way as us?...geez. I read an article about how women are future thinkers, especially when it comes to the big things like careers, babies, buying a house, etc. Men on the otherhand are here and now thinkers, they just can't process things unless it's in front of their face and happening at the moment. I am sure there are exceptions to the rule, but it is true for the most part.

It took a while to get my hubby to understand why I pee on sticks, take my temp every morning, take vitamins, eat healthy, and all of the other crazy TTC things I do. I swear the first time we bd after deciding to be TTC he said, "are you pregnant now?" Ummm no, it isn't just going to happen like that as much as I wish it would. lol Thankfully, he wants it just as bad as I do so he has been pretty open and supportive about it all.

 

[MH5280]

Omg that could not be more true!! Especially for me and my husband! I'm an over thinker too! And I try to plan EVERYTHING! My husband totally can only deal with the now. I just want to talk to him and get him on my level with all this! And have his full attention! Which is never easy!

 

[Luckybug]

Hubs replaced beer with low carb energy drinks. It helped him get through his homework and the end of the day gave him some oomph. At the time he was just trying to get through a class, but in retrospect it probably helped he wasn't drinking a few cold ones every evening to relax.

 

[MH5280]

I just read this article it made me sad, but happy. I thought I'd share https://a.msn.com/0E/en-us/BBhIYnY

Luckybug! How are you doing? Have you guys decided on any names?!?!

 

[MamaBunny2]

Omg you don't even know how much I can rant about how men are stupid and don't understand... Mine decided this week it's totally OK to just QUIT HIS JOB!!! We have a baby on the way, remodeling our home and he QUITS HIS F*CKING JOB??? Plus, the day he decided not to go into work anymore he thought it would be nice to grab some beer to enjoy at home that afternoon. WHAT THE F... :growmad: To say I am stressed is an understatement and we have definitely been going at it (not in a good way) all week so far.

MEN.