ttc#1 new looking for buddy!

[MH5280]

Oh no!!! That's terrible!!! Well hopefully he realizes what he did and finds something new fast!!

 

[Jules8]

luckybug- How r u doing? I feel like your pregnancy is flying by!

Michele- That was a pretty good article. It made me a little sad too, it is a terrifying to think about what would happen if we found out we couldn't have children.
I can really relate to their relationship dynamic, it's funny how things change throughout a relationship. We were actually reminiscing yesterday about how in the beginning it was all about our weekend adventures to anywhere we had enough money to get to just so we could spend time together. Everthing was so romantic and carefree. We were all over the place! lol Now we might fight sometimes and spend a lot more time at home doing boring adult stuff, but in the end it is really just about having someone to do life with no matter what happens.

mamabunny- I am so sorry to hear that! Did he say why he just up and quit? I hope he finds something new very quickly. I know how stressful it was when my hubby wasn't working for a bit, I could only imagine how stressful you are knowing there is a baby on the way. I am sending good thoughts and prayers to you guys!

This is way off TTC topic, but please keep my family in your thought and prayers. My brother has been struggling with a serious heroine addiction for a few months now. His gf of 17 years that he has 2 children with left him last year to be with someone else. Even worse, she was pregnant with this other mans child. My brother got really depressed, lost his house, and started using drugs. He started acting really weird towards the end of the summer, which is when we found out he was doing heroine. It has been progressively getting worse and this week he has really hit a spiral. Wednesday he was in an accident then got arrested because his license was suspended. He was supposed to go to court this morning, but noone could get a hold of him. Come to find out that he passed out from overdosing this morning and had to be brought back to life. We have all been trying really hard to get him to seek out some help, but he will not listen. It breaks my heart seeing him go through this and hope he decides to fight it before it is too late.

 

[MamaBunny2]

Yes his boss took him off the driving route and stuck him in the warehouse with a decrease in pay and no benefits a few weeks after accusing him of stealing food and snacks (he worked for a local vending machine company) because he had stopped home a few times to grab his belt or something he may have forgotten. When he was driving, the other employees sucked at their job and would always forget to food or drink items to set out for him to load his truck with which forced him to drive all the way back to the warehouse to retrieve and thus extending his already lengthy day. He would be asked to do numerous other tasks as well, like he could work from 4am-8pm ya know since he has no life or family or anything going on right? Their attitude towards him had been slowly changing and he claims they were pretty much profiling him or singling him out. Then they changed his hours from 4am to about 4pm to 11am-7pm and that's when he had enough and quit. Apparently this company has a reputation of doing this to employees and there was another guy that works there looking for a replacement job because he is being treated the same way. Regardless, it still sucks he up and quit without having a backup job in place first. He had slowly came to hate the job and the way he was treated so should have started looking for something else weeks ago.

 

[TTTTina]

Jules I am sorry to hear that. Drug addiction are a hard habit to kick, I hope he gets help before it's too late too!!! He is in my thoughts and prayers!

I messaged my doctor about my so test we did and she said we should make an app now to talk about it so I made him one for today since he doesn't work today. In a way I hope it's on his end but at the same time I don't want it to be. I don't know if it's easier to help males with their sperm or for women and the fertility problems they could have. Well if it is his sperm then I'll feel better knowing at least it is something and we could try making it better.

 

[MH5280]

Oh my gosh Jules. I'm so sorry! I will keep you all in my prayers. That's such a sad thing. Idk why I've been so emotional lately, but that brought tears to my eyes! Maybe after this event, he will realize how serious this is, and be more willing to get help. I know it's different for everyone but do you think like an intervention type thing would be helpful? Like on the shows, they all write letters saying what that persons means to them and how they affect YOUR life as well, but if they continue to do these things, you will not be having any contact with him. It's gotta be so tough but maybe will help. I'm really sorry! You know we are here for you if you ever need anything! And if you need to vent to us sooner you can always Facebook message! Hugs to you.

 

[MamaBunny2]

Definitely hoping he gets the help he needs and overcomes his addiction. Drugs are super scary!

 

[MH5280]

Tina, let us know how it goes! It's hard! I always thought "well I hope it's not me" but now that it really isn't me, I wish it was. And I kind of feel like it still is. WE can't get pregnant, and it's affecting ME like crazy! I only wish it were me so I could take control myself. I can only push him so much ya know!? But we had a good talk and he said he'd would try to cut back on his drinking and possibly stop cuz that's what I want. I hope everything comes back ok for you guys tho and that nothing is wrong with either of you!
Remember a while ago I was soooo bitter because one of our patients had become pregnant and her and I had been taking the same supplements... Well she came in today and has miscarried earlier this week! Omg! I felt terrible! I mean she didn't know I was mad and bitter towards her but it made me feel like crap!!!

I feel a little less stresee since talking with my husband about how I've felt about everything... But then I was talking to a friend and he asked me about how the ttc was, and I wanted to cry!! Lol ugh! It's a struggle! And to be totally frank I FUCKING HATE IT!!! Lol sorry! Excuse me!

 

[Jules8]

Thank you guys! It means a lot. I wish an intervention would work, but my family is too all over the place. I live 2 hours away, my other brother basically said its not his problem (he doesn't deal well with stress), my dad only knows how to yell in these situations, and my mom is trying her best since he lives with her. My mom and I tried a few weeks ago, but he didn't come home so it was a bust. I think the worse part about the whole situation was that it was not accidental, he said he was mad they revived him. It breaks my heart. I seriously wish I could punch his ex in her face. He had a good job, loved his family, had a nice house, was really happy, and then she just had to go whore herself out!

Anywayyyyz

Tina- Let us know how everything goes! I am hoping that no matter what is going on that it is a pretty simple fix. I wish fertility issues were cut and dry, like this is what you have and this is exactly how to fix it. Why can't it be that easy? lol

mamabunny- That place sounds like it was horrible! Doesn't make it easier that he doesn't have a job, but at least he left before he flipped out on them. I would have. lol

Michele- I am glad the talk with your hubby helped. Hopefully once you guys get settled with moving and what not things will get a bit easier. Maybe he is feeling a bit pressured and hoping that the move will be a bit of a fresh start, especially with TTC? Hang in there! I know how it feels to have that pressure build up. Everything with TTC has been so difficult, I just want things to get easier already!

I am literally counting down the days left before my next appt. I am getting super antsy to find out if I have PCOS or not. I had off yesterday so I did my 24 hour urine sample. Gross! She said my results for everything should be in next Tuesday. Should I call and bug my doctor for the results or wait to go over them at the appt.? lol

 

[MH5280]

I'd rather be in person with her! I feel like then I know I have her attention and any questions I have will be more explained in person.

I think your probably right. He has said after we move things will get better and be back to normal. So let's hope! I mean heck maybe just stress is causing his spermies to be cray! I can only hope!

Is everyone having warmer weather?!?! by Wednesday we are supposed to be up to 50 degrees outside!!! That's like flip flop t shirt weather!!!! Haha!!

 

[TTTTina]

The doctor sent in a referral to a fertility place in seattle so we will call and make him the appointment soon! Get this stuff figured out!

I am always emotional but I think it gets worse the 2nd half of my cycle after I o. We only had sex 1 time in my defile period so I know we are out this month. Definitely back to trying next month and we should have some answers from his SA by then so we can see what they say to do!

 

[MH5280]

Our moving situation keeps getting pushed back, I just wanna go to a specialist now!! See what we need to do and then decide if it something we can wait on.... I'm THE most impatient person! Haha!

I'm happy we are all being active and finally getting some answers!!! Kinda crazy how the 3 of us all of one problem or another with ttc, going into it we were blind! Now we're all in the same boat.

 

[Jules8]

I know I should wait for the doctor, and I probably will. There is just this little impatient voice in the back of my head saying...calll...calll. lol
I mean I am a super patient person, but I feel like I have been waiting foreverrr for the right moment to have a baby. And now that it's time, I have to wait even more! It's not even patience anymore, just pure frustration of not knowing what's going to happen. I just keep thinking...what if the medicine doesn't work?...How long til I get to try something better?.... what if nothing is wrong in the first place?..then what am I gonna do? I think it's just a terrifying thought that it may be a long and hard road to get something that comes so easily to other people.

On a better note...The weather is awesome! All of the snow is finally melting a little bit. Now bring on summer!

Tina- I hope your appt. comes super fast for you guys! I am crossing my fingers that it all turns out to be either nothing or something that can be easily fixed.

Michele- I hope it stops getting pushed back! I know you two must be crazy antsy to finally be settled. Is your hubby totally against just going to a consultation with someone that can help? Maybe explain that you won't make a decision about treatments, just seeing what could be going on and to see if there are things you can be doing at home.

 

[MH5280]

My husband is just a stubborn little butt faces lol! Maybe if I asked him, but i think I'd have to ask more than once to get him to go before we move. He made the comment this weekend he needed something to drink at home cuz he doesn't have beer and can't get any cuz that will make me mad.... Well guess what! I said he could wait til after st patty's day cuz we have a party to go to for that so I said after that party he needs to stop... So of course he went and bought a 12 pack... Annoying but I said it. I have thought about asking since we don't have a moving date if we could just go to a specialist and see what they have to say. I hate confronting him with stuff like this!! I just feel like I get blown off or I'm annoying the crap out of him when I keep bringing it up!

 

[Jules8]

My husband pulls that card too! lol I guess I won't get what I want because it will make you mad...knowing that when he says that it makes me feel guilty that I am controlling and will give in.

Instead of giving it up, can your husband cut back? Maybe get a 6 pack instead of a 12.

 

[MH5280]

It sounds like he will cut back, and maybe quit for a while. I don't want to keep harping and being a pain but ugh! Haha

 

[MamaBunny2]

I don't care if I'm being a pain in the butt! Seriously, my OH needs to cut back or just cut out the beer. It's like a daily thing now. Wherever we go, whether it be out to eat or at a family member's house or just at home he's drinking beer. I was so irritated when we went out to eat (it's not something we are going to be doing at all now that he's jobless but it was with all of his mom's side of the family to celebrate his grandfather's birthday) and he ordered beer with his meal. Seriously dude? You don't have a job so just continue to smoke and chew tobacco plus purchase alcohol?! I ordered the least expensive item on the menu with a *free* water to drink. If I wasn't expecting right now I still would have not ordered alcohol because I'm not a moron

Michele when are you guys moving? Do you have a date set?

 

[MH5280]

We don't have a date set yet! Which is beyond frustrating cuz it started out as "oh it will be January" "winter is a terrible time so probably end of March or first of April" now we are HOPING for May! His boss has a meeting tomorrow with another manager and is going to try to set a time that my husband can meet with them to sit down and pick a date. I feel like I'm done getting my hopes up that its "January" "April" "May".... Ugh! I love my job so much, and don't want to leave that, but other wise I want to get the HECK out of here!!! And so does he. He said if he didn't need this job he'd quit and we'd just go! But he's making the money he's worked so hard for and doesn't wanna have to start over.

I need a mini vent. Obvi cuz I feel that's all I ever do anymore! My apologies! I feel like I'm fine during the day, at least since I talked to my DH last week, but as soon as we lay down he falls right asleep and I'm up all night searching the net and thinking "when will this ever happen" or WILL it ever happen?! I hate thinking like that but my mind usually wonders that way. And my personality is to joke about it and say things like "not like we'll ever get pregnant!" Or "my boobs hurt cuz I just finished ovulating and you didn't get me pregnant"... Which I almost said tonight but I caught myself! I hate to say things like that since technically it is his fault... I mean not like he has control about what cums ( sorry had to) out of there, but you know what I mean. I do not wanna take jabs at him and I've done good at not but those thoughts are in my head and I want them out!! I went off on my sister the other day and she said maybe I should see a therapist, for a 3rd party point of view, some one to vent to. But 1 I'm not paying for that! And 2, my husband would probably think I'm insane if said I even wanted to! I think they are great and have seen them work well for people but I just don't see me ever going... You girls are my therapists right?! Lol! Ugh! Babies are EVERY WHERE!!!!! It makes me so sad and like.... Bleh.
Mamabunny- don't take that personal! I am so happy for you!!! It's just all in my damn head!
And Im sorry I feel like I repeat myself but I just have this on my mind sooo much. Maybe I should start like a journal or something and write it out.

 

[MH5280]

Oh! And I found this... Look how creepy these things look!!

 

[MamaBunny2]

It's OK Michele I totally know you don't mean any negativity towards me I sometimes (ok maybe A LOT of times) can come down on my OH pretty bad and I know it makes him feel like shit... but it's hard not to with some of the things he does, especially the most recent job decision I've been doing pretty good at keeping calm but inside I am going crazy! I've thought about speaking to a therapist times before but I don't wanna spend the money on it either! I have vented A LOT on BnB... it's all I was practically doing on a daily basis because there was always something getting under my skin or not working out at home. Seems to still be that way

I don't know how the weather is where you're at but Northern Ohio was actually pretty decent yesterday and I guess it's supposed to be decent all week! I'm anxious to get outside and do some landscaping and yard, breath some fresh air and feel sunshine!

Is that a double headed sperm?

 

[MH5280]

Dude! Aren't those scary!!! THATS what my husband has! Weirdo! Lol! It freaks me cuz I've read where that SMALL change an abnormal shaped sperm makes it up to the egg can cause problems like Down's syndrome, or something like that.... That scares me!
But omg! Our weather yesterday was AMAZING... Like 45 but so sunny and amazing! I was is SUCH a good mood from that! Haha! Today is foggy but supposed to be 45-55 all week!!!!