ttc#1 new looking for buddy!

[TTTTina]

Those are scary.

The fertility place does not take my so's insurance and we can't afford for him to get the consultation. His job right now is slow and he's getting less hours and I'm really bummed right now cuz I really wanted to see how it turned out

 

[Luckybug]

No names yet. It's hard to name a human being. I like Elora Raine, but my family seems to hate it.

 

[Jules8]

Tina- Can you get an SA at his primary doctor? I think they are able to do that and give you some basic knowledge. I don't think you have to go to a fertility doctor for that. It's worth a shot to ask. If they don't ask if they have an idea of where to get it done that isn't fertility related.

Our insurance doesn't cover it either, and just the consultation can be $200- $1000. I think it is rediculous that fertility treatments aren't covered in most cases. People that are having trouble shouldn't have to suffer just because things aren't working right! I have seen so many people who put all of their savings into treatments and stuff, they shouldn't have to give up so much just to have a family.

Luckybug- I love that name! Tell them at least it's not apple or orange. lol

Michele- I hope you are feeling better! I know things are tough right now, but things will get better! We are always here to listen if you need to vent!

 

[MH5280]

Your so right! I have a friend who went through 3 rounds of IVF, thankfully it worked on the 3 round with their LAST egg!! But anyways, she said it was like $30K A ROUND! FUUCK that! That's what scares me!! Who has that just laying around!?!?! Let alone for 3 rounds! Lol!

I'm not any better! I'm at my breaking point!!! :/ I was up at 3am and couldn't sleep and just cried!

 

[Jules8]

Girl, you sound like me last year. I was a crazy mess with crying, I knew we had to wait to TTC. I was ready, but my husband wasn't so it made things worse! I legit had my first panic attack in a grocery store parking lot because I was upset watching a lady put her kids in the car. I finally told my husband how upset it was making me to wait even though I knew it was the best decision at the time. We came up with a concrete month to start that wasn't too far in the future. I was still upset, but knowing that we were going to get serious at some point in the near future I was able to reasure myself. I will admit that I obsess over baby stuff: going on pinterest, going on here, looking up metformin & PCOS, walking through the baby section in any store I go into. I get sad that it hasn't happened yet, but I am not giving up hope. I know one day I will have a baby in my arms. Patience is very very very hard. Though I know that I can't let myself fall apart, because the here and now is just as important.

Does your hubby know how upset you really are? Maybe sit down and tell him if he doesn't realize. Also, Come up with a concrete date together of when he is going to start making changes to help. I wouldn't just say whenever you move. That is too broad, it will make you crazy not knowing when. Just say In May(or whatever month you decide), whether we are moved or not this is when it's happening. Mark it on a wall calender and X out the days leading up to it. I would also suggest making a goal that you want to work towards that is TTC related like taking prenatals or something else. That way he doesn't feel so alone in the process.

Also, look around on the site to see if there is a group of ladies with husbands that have the same proble.It might make you feel better to have people to talk to others in the same situation. Hang in there, you are not alone!!

 

[MH5280]

Thanks girl. He is supposed to stop drinking after this Saturday. So I'm hoping he sticks with that. I honestly feel like I can't talk to him about it! He just is emotionless and I get no where. He's the worst person at talking about feelings and confrontation. When we do talk about it, he's never looking at me, he's either on the computer his phone or starring at the tv.... Even if he wasn't to begin with! We were OUT at dinner last week and I said something about how upset I've been feeling, and he started out looking at me then turned his head up to look at the tv and all I got in response was "yea" he drives me crazy with that! And yes I have told him this before. Ugh.

 

[TTTTina]

My doctor said they don't do the SA there and they refer us to the place she referred us to. I messaged her and asked if there was any other places we could go but I have not heard back yet. I may just have to start looking things up myself. It Is frustrating and bums me out. I don't even know how to continue to go about trying cuz just in case his sperm have a problem I dunno how often to dtd.

I'm Sorry Michele. My so is kind of like that, with the not really talking out feelings kind of stuff. It does get frustrating

 

[Jules8]

Tina- There has to be another way! A lot of doctors are quick to send patients to a fertility doctor when there are doctors covered by insurance that can do the same initial stuff like an SA. All they do is write up an order, he does it at home then takes it to a lab like quest diagnostics and they send it out. In some cases they can do it there. Maybe call some labs in your area, a urologist, or maybe even your obgyn. With my stuff I am willing to try other doctors first before I spend that kind of money just to talk to someone.

Michele- Have you cried about it in front of him? I know it is such a girl thing to do, but can be effective. lol I'm not saying fake it, but maybe he should be aware that it isn't just you saying your upset. Another way too is making sure you guys are sitting down to talk without distractions. Don't give him the opportunity to go back to his game or look at the t.v. I would go in the living room, turn the t.v. off, and tell him you want to talk about things. Tell him you know he is stressed, but your upset about the situation and it won't settle down until you feel that he is taking your feelings into consideration. Also, let him know that you have been crying a lot and your patience has been low. Put your foot down! lol And if all else fails just cry.haha. I know he would really love my advice!

 

[MamaBunny2]

OMG Michele seriously I think no matter where or how you try talking to him he will just aimlessly look away at some imaginary fly in the room or something! I say next time he distracts himself you throw a glass of water at him Ugh men!!!

 

[Micromeria]

Hi! Could definitely use a TTC buddy.
24 yo, our 1#, the second circle trying (although there wasn't even an ovulation last month, so I guess this is the first).
Hubby really excited, Family really excited, even the friends are really excited.
we've been together for 9 years, married for 5, a very pronatal society, so the prusser started long time ago.
I wasn't sure about it till a year ago. I even considered not having children at all, but then, I quit the pill and my body went crazy.
It's like a hole was forming inside my belly that has to be filled with babies. Now.
I waited for a year to see if this is genuine, and it feel this way.
Now I just can't wait to see hubby playing with our baby, read a goodnight story and braiding my future daughter's hair.
Help! I'm settling down! ;}
So wish me good luck, and good luck to you all too!

 

[MH5280]

I think I decided about asking him this weekend if we aren't moving til later to see a specialist! I'm nervous!!!!!
Also we talked some last night, I asked if he was mad at me cuz I felt he really hadn't aknowledged me unless I started it. He said no of course not. And I said well you know I'm having a hard time and I just need you to be here for me more instead of pushing it under the rug. He said he didn't know what else he could do and that no matter what it was never gonna be enough.... DUDE! You don't do anything now!!!! there's a lot you could do!!!! Of course I didn't say that!!! I just said, hug me more, let me vent to you with your full attention, ask me how my day was, or how I'm doing! Just CARE!!! Asshole! Lol god. Today has been ok tho, he was super talkative this morning when we were getting ready for work. So maybe it clicked. I don't even remember him coming to bed I was so tired, and I had planned on talking to him more then! Lol so maybe tonight! We're supposed to go to a friends house tomorrow night for a st patty's party and I'm dreading it cuz I'm not into socializing right now. I'm in a rut... A terrible terrible rut. Maybe it will be good but I'm hoping my hubby stays by me! I plan on telling him to tonight and to leave when I'm ready! Otherwise I might cry!!! Seriously!!

 

[MH5280]

Ok! So rant for the day.... Part 1.
so today I was talking about our party that's tonight. And I asked how long he was planning on staying, he says "idk see how it goes" I said well I think 10 at the absolute latest, but if I ask you to leave, I'd like for you to be understand and not put up a fight, I've not been in the best mood and idk how ima be anyways... He said "we'll see what I'm doing" I was like "no like I'm serious. I feel like if you tell me no or ignore it, I think I'll cry! Everything makes me cry these days" then I asked what he planned on drinking cuz they are having heavy stuff like guineuss (if that's how you spell it!) and then some other beer like that... And he's like "probably the other beer and maybe some car bombs" I'm like omg! NO! I said "oh Jesus so your gonna end up puking tonight?! That's cool. Why can't you just have more control?" And he said "oh my god! You make me not even want to go anymore. I was looking forward to getting out of the house and letting loose but your just gonna harp and bitch all night" I was like "well maybe you go and I'll just stay home then" he said "no" and that ended the convo. But like FUCK DUDE!!!! Oh and I said "this is exactly what I'm talking about, you being more supportive of me in these situations instead of just ignoring it!" And he goes "I'll just tell them we have to leave cuz my wife is a 3 year old and cries when she doesn't get her way".... AAAHHHH!
Since all this it's been like not even talked about and like we are both going. But he made me not wanna go even more than before!!!! And thinking about it on the drive home I got all teary eyed!
Idk what to do!!! I want to go but I feel like at a certain point I'm just gonna get so mad! Like drink ok but fucking have self control to not go beyond that point of drunk to where your just completely trashed, which seriously he like doesn't stop and goes to that point. I don't want to be a nagging wife but I also don't want to put up with your drunken bullshit. I just want him to have fun but have self control! I really don't think its that hard but apparently it is!!! Oh and add on top that, he's already drinking a beer cuz "it's so sunny and nice out he needs a cool beer"

 

[MamaBunny2]

Omg I totally feel you!!! It's like dude have a few drinks and chill, have a good time but be a responsible drinker... don't get all out of control, drink way too much (or even a little too much) and become the "3 year old" I need to babysit and deal with all night. A lot of men seem to have trouble having a few. I like going out for drinks as in going out and having a couple, not getting shit faced ********. Or when we are with friends and having some drinks why do guys need to overdo it? And add liquor to it... ugh. If he wants to be supportive and understanding plus is bring proactive about starting a family I feel like he should grow up in that area. What's more important? You and your future family or being an immature drunk? MEN!!! I wish my OH didn't smoke, chew or drink. I could go forever without another cigarette or alcohol and be just fine.

 

[TTTTina]

I'm sorry he's acting that way. I like to drink wine and get a good buzz going on, I don't like to get trashed like I did when I was 21. I know how it is to be depressed and not want to do anything or talk to anyone but I force myself to cuz I know it's better for me than sitting at home wallowing. Lol. I had post partum so I was in a real bad place and barely had any contact with my son for the first year of his life. My oh did basically everything. I think that's another reason I want a baby so bad now, is cuz I want that time back that I didn't get with my son. People are pregnant everywhere and announcing it and I'm like good for you, go away now lol

 

[MH5280]

It ended up being ok! He left when I asked and didn't get too crazy! I was so proud of him! He didn't put up a fight or anything! I him it proly wasn't much to him but it meant so much to me. Yesterday we had a great day. So overall the weekend was good!! Yay! But I started spotting yesterday, ugh. I'm so bummed! I'll have AF this Friday and we have a concert we're going to :/ but thankfully my periods are easy... I just don't wanna have to deal with it that night

 

[Jules8]

Hey hey hey! I hope everyone had a good few days. I was sick for a few days with an upper respiratory infection, now my hubby is sick with a cold or something...ugh. I am still not 100%, but I am at work anyway just to get away from him. lol I swear, when he is sick it's like I'm taking care of a bunch of 2 years olds. All he has is a cold, not even half of what I am going through yet he takes off 5 days of work from his new job and I only get 1 day. Totes not fair. He literally whined the whole time at the doctor because we were there more than 10 minutes, refuses to eat anything unless someone else brings it to him, won't take the medicine the right way, and will only drink gatorade. Sometimes his rich, spoiled, only child syndrome comes out and I absolutely can not stand it! lol Enough ranting about him though.

Despite my illness yesterday, I managed to make it to the endocrinologist. All my other tests were good so I have been oficially labeled PCOS. Not sure how I feel about it yet, but I start metformin tomorrow. I will go back in 3 months to get my levels checked again and to see if we need to increase the dose. If no pregnancy or improvements in 6 months, I will possibly be put on clomid. I am not super sure about that one as I would have to be prescribed clomid by my obgyn or a fertility endo. Fingers crossed this is the start of getting things in order so we can get back to some real TTC! Now if I can just get hubby to get his SA...lol

Michele- I am glad you had a good weekend! Hopefully he continues to be more proactive with listening to you. Sometimes as much as men can drive us nuts, its the small gestures that remind us how much we do really love them.

Tina- I am sorry you had such a hard time when your son was born, ppd sounds like a really difficult thing to go through. I admire your positivity and I am sure you will have another little one to enjoy all of that stuff with.

 

[shortcakes21]

Hey hey hey! I hope everyone had a good few days. I was sick for a few days with an upper respiratory infection, now my hubby is sick with a cold or something...ugh. I am still not 100%, but I am at work anyway just to get away from him. lol I swear, when he is sick it's like I'm taking care of a bunch of 2 years olds. All he has is a cold, not even half of what I am going through yet he takes off 5 days of work from his new job and I only get 1 day. Totes not fair. He literally whined the whole time at the doctor because we were there more than 10 minutes, refuses to eat anything unless someone else brings it to him, won't take the medicine the right way, and will only drink gatorade. Sometimes his rich, spoiled, only child syndrome comes out and I absolutely can not stand it! lol Enough ranting about him though.

Despite my illness yesterday, I managed to make it to the endocrinologist. All my other tests were good so I have been oficially labeled PCOS. Not sure how I feel about it yet, but I start metformin tomorrow. I will go back in 3 months to get my levels checked again and to see if we need to increase the dose. If no pregnancy or improvements in 6 months, I will possibly be put on clomid. I am not super sure about that one as I would have to be prescribed clomid by my obgyn or a fertility endo. Fingers crossed this is the start of getting things in order so we can get back to some real TTC! Now if I can just get hubby to get his SA...lol

Michele- I am glad you had a good weekend! Hopefully he continues to be more proactive with listening to you. Sometimes as much as men can drive us nuts, its the small gestures that remind us how much we do really love them.

Tina- I am sorry you had such a hard time when your son was born, ppd sounds like a really difficult thing to go through. I admire your positivity and I am sure you will have another little one to enjoy all of that stuff with.

Hey was looking to join a group.. i am 20 and ttc #1 and i also have PCOS.. i am taking the natural route with an holistic dr who has me on some supplements that are supposed to help but is very frustrating!

 

[MH5280]

Jules- I've been wondering how your brother is doing? I hope he is well...

 

[Jules8]

Welcome shortcakes 21! I know how frustrating it is..I may have just found out about the PCOS, but the symptoms have always been there. I tracked and tried to go the hollistic route for a while, it just wasn't helping. Everyone is different though, I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Michele- Thank you for asking! He finally came to his senses and is currently in rehab. He just finished a rough week of detox and is on his way to recovery, I just hope when he comes home he can stick to it...that will be his biggest challenge.

 

[MH5280]

I'm glad to hear he went!! That's a huge step! I'm praying for you guys!! How long is the program?