ttc#1 new looking for buddy!

[TTTTina]

My oh mom is totally annoying, basically trying to tell me how to raise my son and just thinks she can do anything with him anytime she wants and go against my wishes. She really pisses me off.

Sometimes when I'm mad at oh I will say I need good spermies and then I feel bad. He doesn't care I say it tho....just give us all an effing baby damn it lol

 

[shortcakes21]

Omg that's terrible!!! I hate when people ask! And EVERY time I talk to my mother in law she has something to say about "the grandkids!".... STOP lady we don't have any kids and they aren't coming soon! And I was talking to her the other day about my dog and I said something about like wishing she could talk so we could communicate about what's going on and she said "oh god your gonna be THAT kind of mother" ummm I'm sorry... The kind that talks to my children? Yes yes I am! Like wtf! AND THEN!!!!!! Last night she was talking about Facebook cuz her other daughter in law saw I posted that we were moving, and my mother in law says to me "you better not post anything about my grandkids with out my permission"...... EXCUSE ME?!?!? NO!!! I went off on my husband about her! She thinks we butted heads while planning our wedding, she has another thing coming if she thinks she's gonna tell me what I can and not do or how to raise my kids!!!!! ugh! I was FURIOUS!

My mil is a ragging c word. We definitely bump heads all the time. She stalks me on fb and recently i had posted on a private diet board if the diet was save while pregnant bc we are trying and she called dh and said oh.. how long have you been trying... and when my husband denied it (we aren't telling anyone because we are having issues) she said oh no.. i saw it on fb.. i am part of this group bc i saw (me) join it.... CRAZY much... Its none of your business how long we have been trying. I told my hubby she will be lucky to meet my child at this point.

 

[MamaBunny2]

I removed my OH's mom from my FB friends after we got into it last week over how I feel her son needs to be more financially responsible. I don't need her, of all people, giving me advice about relationships or even parenting. She called the other week asking me about what diapers we plan to use and when I told her she said 'Oh, well just so ya know when they get a little older Walmart brand works just as good'. Ok thanks but no thanks. Him and I have already discussed what WE mutually want and have agreed upon for our child. After our spat last week I'm not sure right now if I even want her at the ultrasound.

I've adapted a more carefree, "It's not my problem" attitude when it comes to my OH. Oh, you can't pay your bills? Perhaps you shouldn't have wasted you money but... not my problem! I got my shit in order

 

[shortcakes21]

Oh she will definitely NOT be at my ultrasound... heck no.

 

[Jules8]

Oh man, sound like all of your MIL can be crazy! lol
My MIL isn't too bad, but we live an hour away and we don't have kids yet so I am sure the unwanted advice will come soon enough. lol The only issue I have with hubby's parents are that they have a lot of money and are kind of snobby about it. They also like to get our hopes up about stuff, but not follow through. It's super annoying!

For example: When we got married they offered to help us out with getting a house. My credit is crap because of student loans, even though I am making payments it won't come off my credit report until it's all paid. So they said they would give us $15,000 for a down payment for a house then co-sign for us. We were really excited! They got a realtor and then all of the houses they made us look at were sooooo out of our price range even with the down payment. We found a few lower costing houses we could afford and they stuck their noses up at it. Then they decided that instead of houses we are going to look at trailers, well they found out that we would have to rent the land and our credit check got denied (duh). After that they basically said they were done with the whole thing. I was so angry about the whole situation.

They also offered to pay our security deposit of our apt. and literally a few days before we were moving in they decided to cancel the check. I had to beg the landlord to let us pay it in payments so we had a place to go.

 

[MamaBunny2]

Omigosh Jules! What a letdown, one after another I totally understand the credit thing. I have good credit but after buying a home and a car within days of each other plus cosigning on my OH's vehicle (to get him a much better interest rate) I have a hard time getting loans... even to consolidate, which makes no sense to me I'm like, hey I want to do business with you... if you consolidate these for me I'd rather pay you and not them! And they say NOPE! Uh, I'm already making the payments so it's not like I can't afford it, I just want to lump them into one

 

[Jules8]

I feel your pain. Credit is the worst thing ever. I tried consolidating too, but they made it out to be this super difficult thing. All I wanted was to have everything in one lump sum so I only have to pay to 1 thing rather than a bunch.

Good thing is that I recently went on a rehabilitation with my student loans so in 9 months it will come off my credit report. I don't really have much of anything else so I am hoping that my credit will be ok in about a year or so we can get a house. They were picky, but we had found nice affordable ones that were under 90,000. The mortgage would be cheaper than what we are paying now to rent a 1 bedroom apt.
I am super independent so I really didn't want their help anyway, they insisted. Now when they "offer" to help with anything I don't get my hopes up. lol

 

[MH5280]

Jules, how did you get your student loans into rehabilitation?? That's our exact problem, hubby has ridic student loans so it kills his credit even tho he makes all the money, while I have really good credit but I don't make much money at all! Anything to help his student loans would be awesome! But our mortgage broker guy said hubs just needs to stay on top of paying the loans and in 6-12 months we should be good to buy. I wish we could buy NOW! There is NOTHING good for rent in Denver!!! Unless you wanna pay $2000/month!!! Uhh no!!!! Ugh! So we decided we have a friend we can stay with out there until we find a place to rent. I spoke with a real estate agent and he said that there in 0 rental market in Denver and IF something becomes available they usually have showings and the house is gone that day cuz so many people are interested!!! My husband doesn't wanna stay long at our friends, like a month max, but they will set up the basement for us so I feel like if we are ok there maybe we can pay them a few hundred a month and then just buy a few months later, it's already been like 4 months since we talked to our mortgage guy. But who knows!!! I'm so sick of renting!!!

 

[Jules8]

My loan wasn't very high (7,000) and was in default due to not even realizing I was supposed to be paying..long story. My friend said something about how her husband did it, though he didn't keep up with the payments so he is screwed now. So I called and asked so if I keep up the payments for 9 months it won't go negatively against my credit. They took the past 2 years of my taxes so I got it down to about $1500 now. My credit went up a dent due to making somewhat of a payment.

 

[MH5280]

Oh gotchya! My hubby has like $80k in student loans I just hate that now that we are married, his credit, essentially affects my credit. But he has gotten better at actually paying them on time now that he saw that was ruining us getting a house.

 

[Jules8]

Having a lot of student loans sucks, however as long as he doesn't go into default it won't ruin his credit or your chances of owning a home. We did put in an offer a few years back for a house and they said that I would have been approved if my credit wasn't bad. Student loans don't always affect whether or not you get approved for real estate. My friends husband owes about 100, 000 in student loans and already defaulted a second time after doing the rehab program so they are basically stuck forever. She is so frustrated because she has great credit but doesnt work, while he has crappy credit forever and makes ok money.

I always think about how people do it. I see people that make way less than me and my husband but are able to have money for a house, vacations, go out, etc. But here we are penny pinching and rarely do anything for ourselves...It boggles my mind.lol

 

[MH5280]

I completely agree! However my husband had let them default once or twice. So that's why the mortgage guy said to wait a year and stay on top of his student loans. Then we should be ok!

Ugh! I had a break down tonight. My sister was texting me, they just bought a new house, she works part time, and her husband owns a lock smith company but BARELY makes anything! Like he may as well not even have a job cuz he doesn't ever make money cuz he's not busy but REFUSES to get a job to provide for his family!!! They just barely got approved for their loan... They have 2 kids already and my sister, knowing what's going on with me ttc, she tells me they want to try for their 3rd, and said "sorry I feel bad telling you"..... We are 5 years apart and she is older however she has always wanted to do the things I did and be more like me, so I've always felt it's some sort of competition between us, but like from her point of view. Well idk but it just PISSES me off! Like she brags how they have sex once and get pregnant. They last thing they need is another baby! When your husband doesn't care enough to help you financially and you can't pay your bills, they think it's totally smart to have how ever many kids they want, like what like 5! Well anyways it just gets to me!!! Like rubbing it in my face and I know it will happen asap and I'm not gonna be happy for her! This sounds so terrible cuz she's my sister but we've never really gotten along great, and I think it's a terrible idea. And yes I'm jealous! Very jealous!!! So I cried on my way home when she told me that. I told her "it hurts to hear that, but it's your life" idk I feel like is worse that it's MY sister having a million babies and I can't even have one. I'm more resentful to her than joe shmo! I told my husband and at least he was a bit positive and said "yea well when we do have a baby at least WE will be financially stable and you CAN be a stay home mom and then SHE will be jealous/mad".... My response was "GOOD!" Ugh I'm a terrible person.

 

[Jules8]

Michele- That sucks! I know she is your sister and you love her, but it sounds like she was a bit insensitive due to knowing your having a rough time. I agree with your husband..your time will come and you will be a wonderful mom.

I'm having a little bit of a rough day. I have been looking forward to this fertility appt. since I made it but getting super nervous.Things have been so crazy lately that I want some good new out of all this. I just want them to tell us we have a chance gosh darn it! I'll make sure to update with how it all goes.

 

[MamaBunny2]

Your DH is absolutely right Michele! When you become a mother you will have a stable environment to raise a child in and you guys will be amazing parents!

 

[Jules8]

I just wanted to let you know how the fertility appt went.

It was longgg, but well worth it. Hubby did his SA then we got his results there, which came back all good. Once all that was done we talked about my PCOS and they did an exam on me. Then she explained the course of action.

First I have to wait for af to show up, which she said if I didn't get it by the first week in May that they will induce it. Once af comes they will do an ultrasound, I will get an HSG done and take femara from cd3-7. Then I will go certain days to check if it works and I am ovulating. If it doesn't happen naturally we will think about IUI. Most of the testing and whatnot is covered, but any procedures like the IUI or IVF is not covered so we will have to save up if it doesn't happen naturally. The IUI costs $450 so it isn't too too expensive, but if we have to do it more than once it can get up there.

It is going to be exhausting, but I am so ready!

 

[MamaBunny2]

Great news Jules! How exciting! Hoping everything goes smoothly for you

 

[MH5280]

Jules that's awesome! Not all bad news! Sounds like it was very informative! And you guys are on your way to a baby!!! keep us informed how the meds work!!!

Afm- I just wanna start my damn period! Lately my body has decided to be constipated the week before AF and it SUUUUCKS! ugh! It's like painful belly aches. But nothing wants to come out! Then when AF shows it all comes! Haha! Sorry tmi but whatevs! My boobs don't hurt tho! Maybe I won't even start yea right!

 

[Jules8]

Thanks guys! I will def. keep you updated.

Michele, that happens to me too! It is the worst! I hope af either comes soon or doesn't come for good reasons.

 

[MH5280]

I think she showed up 2 days early.... Seems to be more than just spotting.

Can I rant... Again?
My 17 year old cousin just announced on Facebook that she is preggo, and "wasn't expecting it and had a hard time dealing with it at first"..... Are you kidding me?!?!? Like!!! This girl has NEVER EVER been a responsible person and is ALWAYS in trouble. Can't stay with a guy for more than a month, can't even keep a job at Taco Bell,and trouble just seems to follow her, but this bitch gets knocked up? And MY MOTHER commented and says "congrats honey you are going to be a great mom I'm so happy for you".... Seriously???? I'm sure your just being nice but you have never said anything like that about me TRYING to become a mother!!! Now I'm sure af is here cuz I'm hormonal but this really pisses me off! Why do these little irresponsible GIRLS get pregnant at the first split of a leg... UGH! Ok sorry. I feel like that was mean of me but I'm just sick of it!!! It's THE most unfair thing!

 

[Jules8]

Ughh... early spotty af = super lame!

It really stings when I see/hear stories similar to your cousin. But think of how much better of a parent you can be for your child that you are mature and ready to be a mom. It may not be happening right now or as quickly as you would like, but when the time comes you will be ready. You also got to be young and experience things that make you a well rounded person. Sitting around being patient for our time to come to be moms sucks...it really does, but it will be well worth it in the end. Keep your head up and remember we are always here when you need to vent.