TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[onmymind17]

Hi ladies! Just got back from my office visit, though we went for a ride because I was stir crazy.

I sometimes feel like I'm dealing with a bunch of medical idiots around here. Last night the Dr. on call said it wasn't likely it was the stitch as it was colored. Called this morning and they kept telling me it was mucus (which I KNEW it wasn't) When I finally got into the office, they were STILL skeptical about the white tape like substance. They did the speculum test which I have to say wasn't so rough today. Knowing my stance on speculums and concern about messing with the pelvic floor or anything else for that matter they were gentle and tried not to catch the walls and open too wide. I was grateful for that.

Turns out I wasn't leaking fluid thank God! \o/ No infection with the stitch..AND she said "OOoooooh, I see what your talking about. There's a white thread and a blue one in there". She took samples for BV as well.

She left the room for a half hour to talk with the other nurses about this "white thread and blue thread issue" They were stunned. Went to the Dr. (not mine that did the actual stitch because she wasn't there today) and found out JUST AS the IC Board HAD TOLD ME (dissolving stitch). \o/ They start off with it and then the rest is the blue fishing thread. The white comes out. NOW, why the heck aren't patients told about this little surprise?! Not only that, but how is it the whole medical office doesn't know about the white dissolving stitch with exception to the actual Dr.'s that perform the darn cerclage surgery? Don't they communicate at all?!

End result though is that no amniotic fluid was leaking, the stitch doesn't have infection, I did lose the one dissolving stitch that's okay to lose and I have a stinking BV infection AGAIN!

I swear I have only bacteria in my body! I'm on flagyl again and they're putting me on it for a bit longer to try and get rid of it for the rest of the trimester. I'm at least glad we got that. Better to be safe than sorry. That darn BV wreaked havoc when I lost my mucus plug with Jackson and I ended up with a sac bulging and delivering because of everything combined. Won't let it happen this time.

Just goes to show we need to trust our instincts and advocate for ourselves! Pretty odd though that many of the gals in the IC Thread know more about IC and issues pertaining to it than Dr.'s with PHD's who are supposed to be practicing medicine. Very frustrating in my opinion to have to fight to be listened to all the time. It honestly gets tiring!

Thank you all for your support.

I am glad to hear that all is well, i dont know why it is that you cannot fully trust doctors, i know we went through a lot with my dad, he had renal cancer, and was on dialysis, a year after his first surgery he ended up with an intestinal blockage, they put him on an iv drip of pain meds, they could not understand why he was suddenly not responding and would not wake up and my mom said to them "He is a dialysis patient, he has no way of getting rid of the drugs your putting in" they ended up taking him to ICU because he was starting to stop breathing by the time they figured this out, how stupid can you be!! I am so glad that you stuck to your guns and made them check it, its really scary sometimes how they dont bother to talk to each other, and nobody knows what is going on, we know our bodies best, i dont know why they dont listen to us. Sorry about the infection again, ugh sometimes our bodies can be such a pain.

 

[Macwooly]

Butterfly sorry you feel low

 

[onmymind17]

MA - well done on pushing to get the answers you deserve When will medical personal realise that we live with our bodies so we know them better Keep you and Amelia in my prayers

AFM DH & I saw my GP today and didn't get fob off She is not too concerned with me as apparently my FSH, oestrogen and progesterone in 2009 was excellent and even allowing for me being 2 years older she says the reduction due to age would still have me in the normal to good fertility range Apparently if there had been a major change with my health it could be a worry and change hormone levels. But she looked at my chart for last cycle and she is happy my hormones appear to be ok and are doing all they need to do.

So first step is to repeat DH's SA so we have the forms to sort that. Apparently the hospital we use have had to change their process/procedure as some of the results were inaccurate as they weren't handling the samples correctly so DH's SA results are not to be trusted So we have to phone the lab and book an appointment to drop the SA off and a lab tech will check the sample is adequate quantity and they they run the test within 30 minutes.

Once we have SA's results we have to book an appointment each to discuss it all and then they will decide the next step from there which will probably include re-running my blood work

But she is the type of doctor that will only discuss one step at a time and has told us to just keep doing what we're doing whilst the testing is being done. But I am so pleased she didn't just send me away and say carry on for 3 more months

The SA won't be going in till next week for analysis as he has to abstain from releasing the for a minimum of 2 days before providing the sample but no more than 7 days so once I am no longer fertile we'll sort the sample then.

Part of me hopes all is ok with me but then a part of me would feel so bad if the only issue is DH's SA as I know he will feel responsible. But I keep telling him loads of couples have tests and all their results are ok/good and they still can't have a baby. How I wish this TTC lark was less stressful and emotional.

But thank you all for your support and best wishes

Yea sounds like you have a plan, and your dr sounds like she is really working with you guys, i am hopeful that nothing is wrong with your dh's sa, and dont worry about your dh, if, and i say if there is a problem most of the time it can be fixed, and yes SA can change quiet a bit, i remember our first IUI we only had 5 million after wash for both days, now the october one we did we had 53 million in just one day, lots of things can affect them, so try not to worry until you know something for sure. I have a friend at work her dh had a problem and they put him on a low dose of clomid, it has made a big difference!! I dont understand why it has to be so hard TTC either, all i can do is offer you and prayers that it will work out for you!!

 

[Macwooly]

Thank you all

I keep telling DH that SAs can vary and I keep telling him if he was doing something to cause an issue with his I would be annoyed but he isn't doing anything which could affect his count/motility/morphology negatively so it's just one of those things.

 

[onmymind17]

Good morning, ladies! I can't stay long but wanted to pop in for a minute...

Mac, that's outstanding news from your GP!

Lava, still keeping everything crossed for Thurs.

Luvvie, to link to your journal: go to the first page of your journal and copy the url. Then go to "edit signature" and type in "Stalk my journal" or whatever you want to say. Highlight those words (stalk my journal) and then click on the little icon above that looks like a globe with a chain link underneath it. You'll get a pop-up dialogue asking for the url - paste the url of your journal and hit "ok" (or whatever that option is), and voila, the words "stalk my journal" (or whatever you chose to type) now link directly to your journal. Hope that helps.

FM, welcome home! I can't wait to hear what the IVF consults have to say. Are you doing one with your current RE, or are you shopping around for a new clinic altogether? I'm happy to hear you sound like you're in a really good place with it emotionally, though.

Dwrgi et al discussing natural vs assisted - I too had a mental hurdle to get over when I realized it just wasn't going to happen for us the old-fashioned way... I put off that appt for several months. Once we decided to move on to IUI, though, it took a HUGE load off our shoulders - DH's ED disappeared overnight and suddenly we were both able to enjoy again because the pressure to perform on command was instantly gone. Now I wish I had made the mental leap to IUI much sooner than I did. I don't know how DH feels about IVF atm, and I'm still on the fence about it a little myself. But I think we'll cross that bridge when we get there.


I know there were other comments I wanted to make in response to some of your posts but now I can't remember now what they were - when I'm offline so long I really need to take notes as I catch up. Just know I'm here pulling for all of you!!

AFM, I'm on day 7 of stims and I go in this morning for another check. At my check on Sunday, my E2 was 272 and my follies were 13, 13, 11, 10 on the R and 11, 9, 6 on the L. I'm thinking the trigger will probably be tonight and insemination on Thursday, but we'll see how things look today. Still pretty much on the whatever wagon, though - this whole process has made me so cynical that I have a hard time getting my hopes up that this IUI will be any different than the first two, so whatev.

DH commented last night that he wanted to pick a long weekend next month and get our tent out for a little camping... he had no idea why I was CRACKING UP at that!!!!!

Our last round of houseguests left yesterday, so hopefully I'll be able to be on here a little more now. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Hang in there honey, i know its hard, but you have to stay positive, remember each cycle is a brand new one!!!! This one WILL work.

LOL, that is so funny about the tent, omg i am sure he looked at you like you were nuts, whoooo hooooo tents of love!!!!!

 

[onmymind17]

Hi ladies, thank you for your responses.

Macwooly, sounds like you received some excellent news. I like hearing good news!

Never, sounds like a lovely plan. TTC is a process all on it's own. It's not always the most intimate but you do achieve a prize at the end. So it'll be worth it. Dh and I need a VACAY. We haven't really been on a good one in years. I'm trying to figure out if we should just splurge an intimate vacay next year with Amelia so young before we set out on fun-filled kids vacay scenes later down the line OR, if we should just continue in the grind for another couple years and save it for a down payment on a house.

I DO want a vacay, but I'm also sick of renting too. There are downsides to both. Grass ALWAYS seems greener on the other side. In buying an actual house, we won't have the luxery of someone ELSE shoveling, plowing, mowing and maintaining broken pipes, etc. We also wouldn't have to deal with NYS high taxes which keep getting bigger with time if we kept renting. In a vacay, we'd at least get some sanity if only for a weeks time.

Having been in the UK several times I have noticed such a less stressful atmosphere where that is concerned. Many in the UK go on holidays. No wonder we can be so uptight sometimes. All work no play....well, you get the idea. I wish I could decide. One is being frivolous but bringing back some refreshing new perspective, the other is responsibility, can be stability for our daughter to grow up in a place that's ours, etc.

So many people are buying too much house though for what they need. With just the 3 of us though, we'd need a smaller place and it seems like we're fighting with the baby boomers who want to downsize AND we're dealing with housing that buyers want to get the money they paid for, but the houses are no longer worth what they were once assessed for after the housing bubbles. SO, what to do, what to do.

You can't tell I'm a planner. Nothing EVER goes as planned though as I've noticed in my life.

Happy Day to you all.

I think you should go for it with buying a home now, its a fantastic time to own, there are so many houses that are selling really cheap, and the interest rates are rock bottom. Unfortunatly dh and I bought our house when the prices were high, and so was the interest, we are kind of stuck right now until the market comes up again, but let me tell you we lived in an apartment for years, both seperate from each other and a year together, and there is nothing like owning your own home, i just love comming home and parking in my own garage, and i have a huge backyard for my dog to run around in and for us to just relax in, we have our own pool now too!! There is work that has to be done, but its such sweet satisifaction when you cut the grass and then look at how nice your yard looks. Dont buy a huge home, you have to remember that while its great with all the room, you have to heat and cool it too lol. Do take pictures and notes when you start looking at homes, its so easy to start mixing them up when you are looking at a bunch of them, and do make sure that everything will work for you, for us we love our home, but the kitchen is really small. Also you can buy insurance, this way if something goes wrong most everything is covered with a deductable, including your furnace and air, and all appliances. Just a suggestion, as much as i love vacations, you spend 2 grand for a week, and then its over and you only have memories, with a home every day you walk into it and every day its there for you to enjoy. Just my opinion lol.

I agree with you about the people in the UK, the company i work for is a school and its located in London, i am based here in Chicago in the states, they have so many bank holidays, and its really a shame that we just keep working and working and working here, no wonder why we are all so stressed.

 

[onmymind17]

Ladies i have to tell you i have had the weirdest dreams lately. One dream last week i had, i was pg and in labor, i could feel the contractions, and for some reason i was on a bus lol. Then the other night i had a strange dream that someone put their hand on my belly and said the seed is in there and growing, you dont need to worry, now that was strange lol. I sure wish my dreams would come true, but oh well, at least i have my dreams right!!

How is everybody doing today? Its only tuesday lol, i so want the weekend to get here, i am so bored at work and the days are soooooo long.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hi ladies, thank you for your responses.

Macwooly, sounds like you received some excellent news. I like hearing good news!

Never, sounds like a lovely plan. TTC is a process all on it's own. It's not always the most intimate but you do achieve a prize at the end. So it'll be worth it. Dh and I need a VACAY. We haven't really been on a good one in years. I'm trying to figure out if we should just splurge an intimate vacay next year with Amelia so young before we set out on fun-filled kids vacay scenes later down the line OR, if we should just continue in the grind for another couple years and save it for a down payment on a house.

I DO want a vacay, but I'm also sick of renting too. There are downsides to both. Grass ALWAYS seems greener on the other side. In buying an actual house, we won't have the luxery of someone ELSE shoveling, plowing, mowing and maintaining broken pipes, etc. We also wouldn't have to deal with NYS high taxes which keep getting bigger with time if we kept renting. In a vacay, we'd at least get some sanity if only for a weeks time.

Having been in the UK several times I have noticed such a less stressful atmosphere where that is concerned. Many in the UK go on holidays. No wonder we can be so uptight sometimes. All work no play....well, you get the idea. I wish I could decide. One is being frivolous but bringing back some refreshing new perspective, the other is responsibility, can be stability for our daughter to grow up in a place that's ours, etc.

So many people are buying too much house though for what they need. With just the 3 of us though, we'd need a smaller place and it seems like we're fighting with the baby boomers who want to downsize AND we're dealing with housing that buyers want to get the money they paid for, but the houses are no longer worth what they were once assessed for after the housing bubbles. SO, what to do, what to do.

You can't tell I'm a planner. Nothing EVER goes as planned though as I've noticed in my life.

Happy Day to you all.

I think you should go for it with buying a home now, its a fantastic time to own, there are so many houses that are selling really cheap, and the interest rates are rock bottom. Unfortunatly dh and I bought our house when the prices were high, and so was the interest, we are kind of stuck right now until the market comes up again, but let me tell you we lived in an apartment for years, both seperate from each other and a year together, and there is nothing like owning your own home, i just love comming home and parking in my own garage, and i have a huge backyard for my dog to run around in and for us to just relax in, we have our own pool now too!! There is work that has to be done, but its such sweet satisifaction when you cut the grass and then look at how nice your yard looks. Dont buy a huge home, you have to remember that while its great with all the room, you have to heat and cool it too lol. Do take pictures and notes when you start looking at homes, its so easy to start mixing them up when you are looking at a bunch of them, and do make sure that everything will work for you, for us we love our home, but the kitchen is really small. Also you can buy insurance, this way if something goes wrong most everything is covered with a deductable, including your furnace and air, and all appliances. Just a suggestion, as much as i love vacations, you spend 2 grand for a week, and then its over and you only have memories, with a home every day you walk into it and every day its there for you to enjoy. Just my opinion lol.

I agree with you about the people in the UK, the company i work for is a school and its located in London, i am based here in Chicago in the states, they have so many bank holidays, and its really a shame that we just keep working and working and working here, no wonder why we are all so stressed.

Thank you so much for your perspective. It's exactly why I've been so hesitant to take a vacay the past few years. I kind of wanted to put things in priority. I'd honestly rather have a home of our own. We couldn't garden this year because our landlord wanted to be sensitive to the new tenant next door. Sadly now we have tons of her kids HUGE toys thrown in our area and still no back deck as promised after a year. Hopefully he'll get it in by the winter, With nothing to walk out on in the back, it's a safety issue.

So we started looking at areas. Found a few nice ones just outside the city near in a more family type community. I think over the next year or two we're going to start watch the area for some good deals. Thanks for your input.

 

[Akasha]

Hello ladies, hope you don't mind me joining. I'm Karen, almost 37 and been ttc #1 since Jan 09. I've had all my tests and everything's OK, but dh is reluctant to test as he already has a few health probs and doesn't want to go through more medical tests etc. While I can understand and try to respect this I find it extremely hard at times as a feel valuable time is slipping away. Looking forward to getting to know you all and seeing everyone get their bfp's xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Hello ladies, hope you don't mind me joining. I'm Karen, almost 37 and been ttc #1 since Jan 09. I've had all my tests and everything's OK, but dh is reluctant to test as he already has a few health probs and doesn't want to go through more medical tests etc. While I can understand and try to respect this I find it extremely hard at times as a feel valuable time is slipping away. Looking forward to getting to know you all and seeing everyone get their bfp's xxx

Hi Karen welcome

Sounds like it could be tough if your dh is reluctant to test - I'm in 2 minds to ask my BF because he already has a child but that was over 10 years ago, but I hear that might not mean anything. I was thinking of asking him to do a home kit like this but I'm not sure how he would take it!

Good luck and to you

 

[HappyAuntie]

Hello ladies, hope you don't mind me joining. I'm Karen, almost 37 and been ttc #1 since Jan 09. I've had all my tests and everything's OK, but dh is reluctant to test as he already has a few health probs and doesn't want to go through more medical tests etc. While I can understand and try to respect this I find it extremely hard at times as a feel valuable time is slipping away. Looking forward to getting to know you all and seeing everyone get their bfp's xxx

Hi, Akasha, and welcome to our little world! I'm glad you found us. I'm also 37 and ttc #1 since Jan 2009, so I feel your pain. I really think your DH needs to get checked out, if all your tests are ok. All he has to do is produce a sample, so to speak... all men seem to be scared of the SA, but really, if they knew what we go through every single time we go to the dr they'd be a little more willing to take one for the team! And chances are, even if they do find something wrong with his SA, there's not much that can be done about most male problems... even if it's a male factor, it's still the woman who has to go through all the poking and prodding. But you're right, time is slipping away to be sure.... Anyway, I hope you like it in here - we're a lovely bunch of ladies if I do say so myself!

AFM, just got a call from the clinic and I have to stim another night... follies today are at 17, 17, 16, 12 on the right and 12, 10, 9, 8 on the left - looked good, but my E2 is only 352. It was 272 on Sunday, so that's a very small rise for two days and it's low for that many follies, so that's why they want to push me another day. I go in for another check tomorrow, and they'll check my LH then as well to make sure I'm not too close to popping the eggs out on my own before the trigger.... Have now gone from fairly optimistic this morning (when I knew the size of the follies but not the E2) back to fairly cynical now, so whatev.

 

[Akasha]

Hi guys, yes I think the first step will be trying to cajole dh into a home test.

Keep positive Auntie, sounds like those eggs will be poppin anytime soon xx

 

[onmymind17]

Hello ladies, hope you don't mind me joining. I'm Karen, almost 37 and been ttc #1 since Jan 09. I've had all my tests and everything's OK, but dh is reluctant to test as he already has a few health probs and doesn't want to go through more medical tests etc. While I can understand and try to respect this I find it extremely hard at times as a feel valuable time is slipping away. Looking forward to getting to know you all and seeing everyone get their bfp's xxx

Welcome Karen, sorry about your problems, hopefully one day soon your dh will come around, sometimes it just takes them a bit more time to adjust. This is a great bunch of ladies on here and we are all here to support you!!

 

[Macwooly]

Hello Karen Hope your DH agrees to an SA but as OMM said sometimes it just takes men a little longer to get their heads around situations

 

[FutureMommie]

MA- I'm so glad that all is well and Yay for being your own best advocate. I find on this journey you have to show that you have done your homework and that you aren't just going to accept mediocre care. It's sad we have to fight so hard during this already stressful time but we have to fight for our babies and future babies right? Job well done.

Lava- Hi, hope you aren't too sick but thats a good sign that all is well.

Never- Yes I'm on the whatever wagon right beside you and it feels great.

Dwrgi- You are right during this ttc journey you find out who you can talk to, I think talking to my friends even my best friends about my feeling and difficulty makes them uncomfrontable so I keep it to a minimum. I'm sure as I begin my IVF journey, your ladies and my dh will be the only ones on that journey with me. At least you guys understand

Macwooly- sounds like your appt was informative and productive, glad that you have a great dr who doesn't just send you home and tell you to keep trying.

HA- It hasn't been an easy task to move to IVF, it's been emotional and at first I didn't even want to think about it but after my last IUI resulted in a bfn and after my insurance coverage for fertility meds was exhausted and my DH expressed his disappointment at me not being pg this last time, I knew I had to give it a try as much for him as for myself.

You can go ahead and join us on the whatever wagon if you would like if that makes you feel better because there are enough of us here rooting for you and hoping and praying that those follies grow like crazy and get you that bpf.

Akasha- welcome you will absolutly love the ladies here, they keep me going. I hope you can convice your dh to have the SA.

AFM- I posted in my journal that I have 2 IVF consults scheduled for next month, my first one is July 6. I'm anxious but ready to hear what they have to say.

 

[skye2010]

Hi Everyone )

Dwrgi, thanx for askin after me hon. I do grab a sleep whenever I can and during the night it's a little better nowadays. I do wake up a few times but I must have been so tired last couple of days I slept like a log yesterday. ))
I just want you to keep positive and relaxed as much as possible before your treatment. It will be so much easier if you feel more positive to sit through it all while tx. We will all be here to support you whenever you need us. I wish that you would have your baby very soon. When is your vacation?

Lava Hugs and many hugs

Luvy, I'm sorry that you are upset. TTc does take it out on all of us after some time. Sweety same advise goes to you. Keep as much positive as you can. Believe it will happen. If you have tried naturally for a while starting a tx really is the best option. I'm glad you are looking fwd to it. There are some women who conceive naturally after trying for so long even after failed tx cycles. But the longer that you TTC the more it takes out of your confidence. And you know how people say "Relax it will happen or give up it will happen" I don't know how that bsh...t is possible.
How can you relax or give up so you can conceive after trying for so long. So how long can you wait? But really keeping it positive does give us a lot of inner strength and calmness. Hope whatever you decide would bring you the best outcome.

MA why do you keep having the BV, is it to do with your diabetes? Poor thing. Can the drs not prevent it from happening somehow. Dunno sthg that stregthens your flora down there or sthg? I think eating yogurt was good for that sort of thing but not entirely sure. You have very good instincts though. Good girl you caught the danger on time... BTW you soo need a vacation my friend, hope you could do both. The US house prices should lowering right now and for a little more while I thought. The crisis isn't over yet and it doesn't look like it will be soon either xxx

Nevernever good luck with the tests Hope your Dh would come along to hold your hand through the process. When are you going to find out the results?

Macwooly great that you had a good appt and great news about the results. Don't be too worried or disheartened about DH's results either. I had great results and DH's were all ok too. We still didn't conceive naturally. Dunno why? Mb I could have. MB I should have relaxed and forget about it all "GRRRRR " like every other ignorant person I have met suggested. This is not a blame game and it's neither of your fault. The great thing about your results is you would most likely respond to any sort of tx really well. Hopefully you would get BFP very soon and not need any of all that. If not perhaps you can follow the medical protocol they offer. Assisted conception (if they do), IUI than IVF. We didn't do that cause assisted conception wasn't offered. And I dragged my feet about the tx thinking it will happen naturally. But it didn't, by the time I was ready to go I had no patience left for the IUI and dived straight into IVF. Thinking back now perhaps I should have given IUI a couple of goes at least. But all these choices are very personal. One thing I ca suggest is to find out a little about all your options before your consultation, than you would be more prepared to discuss it when you are there.

Hi Butterfly this is to tease a little smile from you

I think it might be a good idea for you to see specialist first and get your blood work done. Than ask BF if they suggest it. This way you would have an all around picture before you carry on trying.

Purplelou, I hate that when it happens. It happens often too Nowadays I just copy along as I write. Even if I lose my text I have most of it on memory

Chris how they treated your dad sounds really plain stupid. My experience with drs (mainly in Turkey) has been similar. They are too busy, reluctant or dismissive at times. Not all but definitely some. So whenever I have anything to do with drs I try to understand as much as I can what's going on. Otherwise if you give yourself to them without any questions you might have a disaster. So always ask a lot of questions and google too. I think both of your dreams are related. Pregnancy in dreams when you are not pregnant means you have a long term difficulty in life (Sthg that creates anxiety and upset) but giving birth means that you actually get rid of all the stress and hardship and you have good times ahead of you. So all in all i think it means that your hardship will be over soon. Hope it would be baby related

HA sounds like you have some great eggs there if your LH rises sharply thay can hold it back with a med so that shouldn't be a problem. Better wait as much as you can on stimms (don't even need to take the drugs if your eastrogen doesn't require) and get your eggs as ripe as possible. But they do seem quite well so come back from being cynical sweetie.

HA I wanted to write a bit longer for you but DH's hovering on my head again to go to bed. Loads of loads of hugs and lucks bb. xxx Will catch up tomorrow more. xxxx

 

[Mommy's Angel]

MA- I'm so glad that all is well and Yay for being your own best advocate. I find on this journey you have to show that you have done your homework and that you aren't just going to accept mediocre care. It's sad we have to fight so hard during this already stressful time but we have to fight for our babies and future babies right? Job well done.

Lava- Hi, hope you aren't too sick but thats a good sign that all is well.

Never- Yes I'm on the whatever wagon right beside you and it feels great.

Dwrgi- You are right during this ttc journey you find out who you can talk to, I think talking to my friends even my best friends about my feeling and difficulty makes them uncomfrontable so I keep it to a minimum. I'm sure as I begin my IVF journey, your ladies and my dh will be the only ones on that journey with me. At least you guys understand

Macwooly- sounds like your appt was informative and productive, glad that you have a great dr who doesn't just send you home and tell you to keep trying.

HA- It hasn't been an easy task to move to IVF, it's been emotional and at first I didn't even want to think about it but after my last IUI resulted in a bfn and after my insurance coverage for fertility meds was exhausted and my DH expressed his disappointment at me not being pg this last time, I knew I had to give it a try as much for him as for myself.

You can go ahead and join us on the whatever wagon if you would like if that makes you feel better because there are enough of us here rooting for you and hoping and praying that those follies grow like crazy and get you that bpf.

Akasha- welcome you will absolutly love the ladies here, they keep me going. I hope you can convice your dh to have the SA.

AFM- I posted in my journal that I have 2 IVF consults scheduled for next month, my first one is July 6. I'm anxious but ready to hear what they have to say.

Thank you, You have no idea how much of a divine appointment your words are. I've had a rough couple of days with a friend who also has a cerclage that over the last several months has been so self absorbed she forgets she's been talking to someone who has had an emergent cerclage and has been bragging about her cervical length and how great life is the whole time and who NOW has turned on ME since finding out the other day that her babies are to the stitch. I won't go into it any further, but it's gotten hurtful and I finally broke down in a NOT so Godly way and expressed my "emotions". God always tells us NOT to work off emotion. I'm telling you, I've felt like I need a major attitude adjustment and should have let her wallow in her self absorbed ways and ignored her. Instead I feel terrible guilt for letting it ALL hang out after she told me I was relying LESS on God and Dr.'s and MORE on the women here on the IC thread.

HAD God NOT given me wisdom to be my own advocate or led me to that thread, I believe Amelia would have died before the cerclage was put in at 19weeks. I actually have THE WORST place for medical care unless I'm on top of it. Now I feel like I'm not trusting in God enough and allowing satan to lie with the things this girl has said...not to mention by spewing anger which makes ME look worse than her. Ugh! This girl has 5 kids. I have a son DEAD because of the medical care I received here.

I'm just outa sorts and while I want to be kind to everyone, not sound like I'm self absorbed myself and/or mean, much of the time I'm a screw up!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hi Everyone )

Dwrgi, thanx for askin after me hon. I do grab a sleep whenever I can and during the night it's a little better nowadays. I do wake up a few times but I must have been so tired last couple of days I slept like a log yesterday. ))
I just want you to keep positive and relaxed as much as possible before your treatment. It will be so much easier if you feel more positive to sit through it all while tx. We will all be here to support you whenever you need us. I wish that you would have your baby very soon. When is your vacation?

Lava Hugs and many hugs

Luvy, I'm sorry that you are upset. TTc does take it out on all of us after some time. Sweety same advise goes to you. Keep as much positive as you can. Believe it will happen. If you have tried naturally for a while starting a tx really is the best option. I'm glad you are looking fwd to it. There are some women who conceive naturally after trying for so long even after failed tx cycles. But the longer that you TTC the more it takes out of your confidence. And you know how people say "Relax it will happen or give up it will happen" I don't know how that bsh...t is possible.
How can you relax or give up so you can conceive after trying for so long. So how long can you wait? But really keeping it positive does give us a lot of inner strength and calmness. Hope whatever you decide would bring you the best outcome.

MA why do you keep having the BV, is it to do with your diabetes? Poor thing. Can the drs not prevent it from happening somehow. Dunno sthg that stregthens your flora down there or sthg? I think eating yogurt was good for that sort of thing but not entirely sure. You have very good instincts though. Good girl you caught the danger on time... BTW you soo need a vacation my friend, hope you could do both. The US house prices should lowering right now and for a little more while I thought. The crisis isn't over yet and it doesn't look like it will be soon either xxx

Nevernever good luck with the tests Hope your Dh would come along to hold your hand through the process. When are you going to find out the results?

Macwooly great that you had a good appt and great news about the results. Don't be too worried or disheartened about DH's results either. I had great results and DH's were all ok too. We still didn't conceive naturally. Dunno why? Mb I could have. MB I should have relaxed and forget about it all "GRRRRR " like every other ignorant person I have met suggested. This is not a blame game and it's neither of your fault. The great thing about your results is you would most likely respond to any sort of tx really well. Hopefully you would get BFP very soon and not need any of all that. If not perhaps you can follow the medical protocol they offer. Assisted conception (if they do), IUI than IVF. We didn't do that cause assisted conception wasn't offered. And I dragged my feet about the tx thinking it will happen naturally. But it didn't, by the time I was ready to go I had no patience left for the IUI and dived straight into IVF. Thinking back now perhaps I should have given IUI a couple of goes at least. But all these choices are very personal. One thing I ca suggest is to find out a little about all your options before your consultation, than you would be more prepared to discuss it when you are there.

Hi Butterfly this is to tease a little smile from you

I think it might be a good idea for you to see specialist first and get your blood work done. Than ask BF if they suggest it. This way you would have an all around picture before you carry on trying.

Purplelou, I hate that when it happens. It happens often too Nowadays I just copy along as I write. Even if I lose my text I have most of it on memory

Chris how they treated your dad sounds really plain stupid. My experience with drs (mainly in Turkey) has been similar. They are too busy, reluctant or dismissive at times. Not all but definitely some. So whenever I have anything to do with drs I try to understand as much as I can what's going on. Otherwise if you give yourself to them without any questions you might have a disaster. So always ask a lot of questions and google too. I think both of your dreams are related. Pregnancy in dreams when you are not pregnant means you have a long term difficulty in life (Sthg that creates anxiety and upset) but giving birth means that you actually get rid of all the stress and hardship and you have good times ahead of you. So all in all i think it means that your hardship will be over soon. Hope it would be baby related

HA sounds like you have some great eggs there if your LH rises sharply thay can hold it back with a med so that shouldn't be a problem. Better wait as much as you can on stimms (don't even need to take the drugs if your eastrogen doesn't require) and get your eggs as ripe as possible. But they do seem quite well so come back from being cynical sweetie.

HA I wanted to write a bit longer for you but DH's hovering on my head again to go to bed. Loads of loads of hugs and lucks bb. xxx Will catch up tomorrow more. xxxx

Honestly I think it's the diabetes, or moreso being on the insulin which is safer for Amelia. I have a TON of greek yogurt and it's not helping. He said that BV is normal but when it reaches a bad level, your not having enough good bacteria. I can't eat enough yougurt and am on some refrigerated flora type stuff. I think it's just how much total insulin I'm getting. Being insulin resistant, I'm getting WAY too much insulin and what my body doesn't use stores as fat. My oral meds wouldn't do this, but they're not safe for Amelia and the one oral med that IS causes GI issues BAD!

HA, your follies are getting there! Looking forward to hearing how big they actually get. LOVE you have so many of them. Woohoo!

FM, oh yay! The next step. I'm SO EXCITED!

 

[Macwooly]

Thank you, You have no idea how much of a divine appointment your words are. I've had a rough couple of days with a friend who also has a cerclage that over the last several months has been so self absorbed she forgets she's been talking to someone who has had an emergent cerclage and has been bragging about her cervical length and how great life is the whole time and who NOW has turned on ME since finding out the other day that her babies are to the stitch. I won't go into it any further, but it's gotten hurtful and I finally broke down in a NOT so Godly way and expressed my "emotions". God always tells us NOT to work off emotion. I'm telling you, I've felt like I need a major attitude adjustment and should have let her wallow in her self absorbed ways and ignored her. Instead I feel terrible guilt for letting it ALL hang out after she told me I was relying LESS on God and Dr.'s and MORE on the women here on the IC thread.

HAD God NOT given me wisdom to be my own advocate or led me to that thread, I believe Amelia would have died before the cerclage was put in at 19weeks. I actually have THE WORST place for medical care unless I'm on top of it. Now I feel like I'm not trusting in God enough and allowing satan to lie with the things this girl has said...not to mention by spewing anger which makes ME look worse than her. Ugh! This girl has 5 kids. I have a son DEAD because of the medical care I received here.

I'm just outa sorts and while I want to be kind to everyone, not sound like I'm self absorbed myself and/or mean, much of the time I'm a screw up!

Firstly Secondly God provides support and answers in different ways and offers us different tools to use in our lives. If the ladies on the IC thread offer you emotional support then surely that is not wrong.

I am a Christian but not one of the most knowledgeable but didn't the apostles share knowledge, wisdom and experience with no qualifications and I'm sure the very first doctors had no qualifications but share experience, knowledge and wisdom. Is this different to what the ladies on any thread on this site do?

I remember being told a story about how God works in different ways and please indulge me why I share:

A man was in his house when a river burst his banks and his house started to flood so the man prayed to God to rescue him from his plight. A SUV came along and the people in it offered the man a lift to high ground. The man replied he did not need the lift as God would save him. The waters continued to rise so he went upstairs to escape the water and again prayed for God to save him. A boat came along and the people offered the man a lift to safety. Again the man refused saying that God would save him. But still the waters rose so the man went onto the roof of the house to escape the waters and prayed for God to save him. A helicopter came along and the people in it offered the man a lift to safety but again he refused saying God would save him. Unfortunately the waters rose more and the man died from drowning. When he got to heaven he asked God why God had ignored his prayers and not saved him to which God replied: "I did not ignore you! I sent a car, a boat and a helicopter to take you to safety but you refused all my help"

God works in and through mysterious ways so please allow God to remove the hurt & pain that this person's hurtful remarks have caused

God has given you the knowledge of how your body works and feels and he gave you the strength to get the answers required and the help needed to protect Amelia's life. God is walking with you and carrying you during your pregnancy

 

[skye2010]

OOOH nooo just lost my msg the third time. Seriously can't BNB members not sort out this problem. It's soo annoying and time consuming. Right this will have to be a bit watered down version of the msg I just lost cause I can't just sit here all day ((( GRRRRR!!!!!

Akasha welcome to the thread, hope you enjoy the company

HA, The med I mentioned before is called Cetrotide. That's what out clinic use anyway. One of the girls was on it half her stimms. (5-6) days She was being pumped up with high doses of meds. I actually was without stim med for 2 days before my trigger. Just like a ripening avocado on a window sill. Better have the eggs as mature as possible. Also eastrogen levels are important to be high enough cause it prepares your lining for implantation and helps sustain the pregnancy. Don't worry that they are keeping you. Your dr would know the best time to trigger once everything is looking good. Loads of good luck bb. Hope you would have a strong sticky baby who would stay with you for 9 months xxx

FM, I know it was a very difficult decision bb. Congratulations for finally taking the first step which is the hardest. After that you will just follow instructions It's a good idea to take your IUI history with you to the consultation. You can briefly write down which meds you used, what ammounts, how long and how many follies detected. Do mention your hyper stims last time. (Looks like you have a tendency) This would give them a good idea on how your body reacts to meds even though they might use totally different ones. Why do you have 2 different appts by the way. Is it 2 different clinics so you can compare what they offer. I think that would be a very smart thing to do. Good luck bb. Don't worry that your IUI's didn't work cause IVF cuts down on many steps of fertility that IUI doesn't cover. (swimmies moving and fertilising the egg, the embie traveling in fallopian tube, also more in control of lining) So you have a higher chance of a BFP. I'm rootig for you bb. Wishing you loads of sticky bb dust and good luck. Hope you would have much wanted BFP very very soon.

MA, poor thing you are dealing with so many health issues at the same time. Diabetes, BV, pregnancy, funneling, cerciage. Plus you are on bed rest which is kind of depressing on its own caues you are confined in one space a long time. Sweetie don't let any one stress you more than necessary. Avoid whoever does it for the time being. Right now you need only those who encourage and stimmulate you around. You need all your strength for Amelia and getting through 3,5 months for her. Everything else can wait. You can deal with it when you are in a better place once you have her lively in your arms. Where you get your strength doesn't matter. Praying, friends, family this thread or even closing in in yourself like a hermit. Whatever works best for both you and little Amelia really. ) Your friend probably didn't even realise she was upsetting you so don't hear it.

AFM I finally caught Dh's cold and I gargle with hot water and salt which seems to help. Yesterday I called the NHS hospital and required after my 12 week scan. The stupid admin people didn't process the application for me and didn't book the appt. I was there+ I called both GP and them before. All said we'll contact you. Of course they never did. If they won't book me an appt for the next 2 weeks I dunno what to do. Having a fit to these really sleepy sounding admin people doesn't help. Mb beginning of next week I should just drop by and talk to them in person cause I really need the scan report. My IVF clinic will review my drugs and probably discharge me. Than it's more scary cause NHS has far less control over pregnancies. In fact right now there is a lot of bad press in UK about the fertility and maternity units of NHS. We have the highest statistics of mc and babies dying while in the womb or birth in Europe cause the funding is really tight and clinics just don't follow the pregnancy enough to save lives. They're trying to put a quota on ceaserians. So say if a woman is in a situation where she needs an urgent cesarian and the on call dr is a young specialist who needs an authorisation. Her and bbs life would be at risk while the dr is figuring out if the quota allows it.
Also if you end up with a bad nurse you are in serious trouble. 2 weeks ago a woman lost her baby in my local hospital (Universtity hospital which is 5 mins away from me and we use it for everything else) She was in a lot of pain but the nurse insulted her for making too much fuss and being a bad mother cause she couldn't put up with the birth. She and husband begged to see the on call dr but nurse refused. The baby was tangled with the cord and was breached. I had heard of bad things about that hospital before so I deliberately chose one which is further from me. I can't go private after all the expense of IVF. I dunno if a doula would be worth it, what do they do and how expensive they are. Anyway maybe this talk is for graduates. Girls ignore it if it's not of interest.
Sticky bb dust for all of you. xxx