Thanks for the encouragement yesterday, ladies. I am still feeling pretty flabbergasted/dumbfounded/angry/frustrated/you name it.
My nurse encouraged us to go ahead and BD last night, but I was so angry/upset that I wasn't even remotely in the mood, and I didn't really see the point anyway since I could see for myself on the ultrasound yesterday morning that the eggs were already gone, that ship had sailed. My right ovary had four good follies at 17, 17, 16 and 12 on Tuesday and absolutely nothing yesterday - all released. They even scanned me twice because my nurse didn't believe it when the sonographer said there was nothing there. They checked my progesterone and LH yesterday and confirmed ovulation had already taken place.
I suspect the reason they don't just automatically put all IUI patients on ganirelix to suppress natural ovulation is the cost of the drug. But I am angry that I wasn't monitored more closely to see that I was close to ovulating. All it would have taken is a blood test to check my LH level every time they check my E2 level, and I don't understand why that's not standard.
My dr is on vacation this week and another dr at the clinic had been calling the shots on this cycle, but there's no way of knowing if my own dr would have done things any differently. My nurse is going to discuss things with my dr when he gets back next week to make sure I don't get lost in his pile of work when he returns - obviously a f*cked-up cycle is something that needs careful review. She also said after looking back over my records, she wonders if I ovulated naturally on my first two IUI cycles, messing up the timing of the insemination, and that's why we haven't had success yet, that maybe this f*ck-up is a blessing in disguise. On one hand I have to agree with her there - that thought had already occurred to me before she brought it up. On the other hand, why the hell didn't they check my LH in every damn cycle to see if I was close to ovulating naturally??!! Why isn't that routine??!!
One of the things that makes me angry is that I'll be out of town next month right around ovulation, so we have to skip treatment next month. That puts me into August before we can try again, and August means my bday, and my bday means I'm 38 not 37, and somehow already being pregnant at 38 seems more manageable to me than still trying at 38. I know that's all in my head, but it's there. And it definitely feels like I need to let go of any wish of having more than one... at this rate, if I get pregnant in August, I'll be 40 before I'm able to try for #2... I think I need to just let go of that, shoot for one child and be content with an only child. And that makes me angry at the whole journey because dammit, we started ttc at 35 and got pregnant right away - if that first baby had survived, I could be pregnant with #2 RIGHT NOW.
This has just taken the wind out of my sails. I took three months off from treatment to get my head in the right place and find the strength to keep trying, and in return I was met with a colossal error by my medical team. The only good news is that I shudder to think how I might have reacted if this had happened before my break - I might have just thrown in the ttc towel altogether. Instead I'll just take the next 6 weeks to regroup, be angry, yell scream and shout, and try again in August, when I am three years older than I was when I started all this ttc bs.
, but I always remember how great & supportive all of you here are, so here I am back again! 
I'll be 37 in August, DH is 37. We've been trying since January 2009. I had hydrotubation in August last year, and the result was clear. At the same time DH was diagnosed with 3rd grade varicocele, and the doctor recommended surgery.
because finally he is taking charge and making decisions, all this time I've felt so alone in our TTC journey. (I'm the type who researches a ton of things in the net, and he just doesnt even read up what varicocele means!)
for you!
Hope you get your BFP before surgery is required for your DH 
Doug was moody sometimes too. I think this process takes a toll on them sometimes too. Though it doesn't give them a right to be buttheads! 
I LOVE my chocolate! Having such high sugars though, I couldn't have them. Found these babies for 5 bucks and splurged. I'm glad I did all the taste without the high sugars! 
of course with more and more newbies coming on, it will be hard to coordinate, but I'm hoping for a TON of graduates for the date.
