TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[Fallen Ambers]

Hi Ladies~

I feel like a robber at night, and just coming in to say Hello! I don't have time for personals, since I'm getting ready to leave for Wisconsin. I'll be back home on Sunday! I'm bringing my Xoom tablet with me, so if I have time in the evenings, I'll pop in and do some personals.

Hope everyone is having a great week~

Blessings to All~

 

[tigerlily1975]

As for me...dh is still being a butt head. he didn't talk to me last night when he got home from work, just ignored me. He likes to do this, so I will just start talking to him and pretend like he didn't do anything...but this time he really hurt me girls....he told me to F*uck off the other night....out of no where, while he was on his cell phone. All, I did was point something out to him. I'm already going through enough hardship right now, and he has to say that.

Oh hun, hopefully he'll see sense and make it up you. As you say, you're going through enough stress as it is. Sending you big

 

[purplelou]

Dear Happy Auntie - I am sooooo sorry for what you have been put through. it's just not right. I know this doesn't change anything but I want to send you loads of definitely discuss this all with your doctor when you are camer. we all have to be our own advocates so you have every right to an apology, explaination and some kind of "compensation" imo


and luvmydoggies - my furbabies send you big smoochie kisses too!

and to everyone else too!!

 

[tigerlily1975]

HA: Oh man, what a journey you've been on. You have such tremendous strength, you will get there

Lavalux: Sending you big, positive thoughts and bundles of luck. We're all thinking of you.


To all the other wonderful ladies, sending you all lots of and I'll be seeing you on the Wagon soon, with the vino!

 

[onmymind17]

HappyAuntie- I am so sorry that this cycle. I would be so upset too!

Lava- I will be thinking about you today!

Bora Bora sounds lovely- I will bring the sunscreen and the margaritas!

As for me...dh is still being a butt head. he didn't talk to me last night when he got home from work, just ignored me. He likes to do this, so I will just start talking to him and pretend like he didn't do anything...but this time he really hurt me girls....he told me to F*uck off the other night....out of no where, while he was on his cell phone. All, I did was point something out to him. I'm already going through enough hardship right now, and he has to say that.

super big hugs to you honey, my dh did that to me one time, and it hurt really bad, you dont need this from him right now. All i can offer is hugs and love, and prayers that your dh realizes he is being a horses ass!!!!

 

[onmymind17]

Hi Ladies~

I feel like a robber at night, and just coming in to say Hello! I don't time for personals, since I'm getting ready to leave for Wisconsin. I'll be back home on Sunday! I'm bringing my Xoom tablet with me, so if I have time in the evenings, I'll pop in and do some personals.

Hope everyone is having a great week~

Blessings to All~

Yea you have a great time, we will miss you!!!!

 

[skye2010]

Nevernever, your earlier msg was really funny. Lol!!Lol!! Especially that viking slave driver. Hahhahahaha

Luvy sometimes boys do it and sometimes us we girls do it so I guess it balances out in the end. Let him be hormonal... Did ignoring work? It always works with my DH as well if by that time I haven't already started chasing him down the street with a baseball bat) hahhahahaha

MA I fancy the Atkins Bar now, you make it sound delicious. I am eating all the time nowadays I'll end up huge.

DWRGI your infertility joke is double LOL!!! too. hahhaahha! Bora Boooraaa! woow your fantasies are running wild. Since we're all in the wagon that's gonna be fun.
Coconut juice for Chris who is lazing on the hammock in Bora Bora beach please.

Vittori welcome again. Hope your DH's issues would get resolved. Dunno much about vericocle and how the surgery and med options are. Hope they work soon though. In the mean time keep positive and don't lose hope cause there is a lot of miracle stories on fertility xxx

HA, I cannot believe it hon. i'm sorry but are they trying to shove this ovulation issue on your shoulders. No one ovulates themselves on any given treatment cycle unless the drs actually fuck it up. It looks like your on call dr just did that. There are tests and drugs to control and prevent it. And also you do that buy using the right amnt of drugs. I'm suspecting they started off with high amnt of drugs and just carried on as high. Also on IUI do you use any down regging (fertility suppressing drugs)? Maybe not but still they could have controled it with meds. What's to pnt of doing all the tests and scans all along if they can't be thorough enough to control your cycle.

Plus they haven't mentioned u ovulated on your own last 2 cycles and all of a sudden "Hang on a min, you've been doing that all along"?????? If that's the case they are majorly incompetent.

Hon between July and August really your eggs are not going to look at a calendar and say "Yup let's stop we are 38" So that is a much more of a psychological issue than physical. Please don't worry about that. + You've been pregnant before, maybe your body will do it really quickly and naturally anyway. When I was cycling there were many women over 40 trying for their first yet.

Your main issue now is to get the best treatment you can. By all means get all your screaming or negotiating skills together and go talk to that dr. they need to offer you a completely free (Drugs, scans everything) cycle if you ask me.

1- They would learn how to be more careful and take responsibility while pumping women with drugs and playing with their health. (I mean why would he offer you cycle while he's on holiday????)

2- They can actually afford it. They make shit loads of money from vulnerable women so he can go on a probably a caribbiean spa holiday.

3- You pay the specialist for his expertise not to see his diploma on a wall.

GRRR I got so angry with this... I think you should definitely ask for a completely free cycle and don't leave the place before you get it. Do you know how much risk they put your health into by all the drugs leave alone the heartache and the time, hopes etc etc. And than a dry "Sorry" won't do.

On the other hand once this is out of the way I don't know if you would want to use them again if you have to go for an IVF? Afterall, how can u trust their judgement?

I'm just gonna post this and continue after on another post since my computer is packing up I think

 

[skye2010]

One more thing you don't pay less when you see his sidekick so he doesn't have a right to leave his patients with a less experienced dr while he's playing golf somewhere.

I did get very worked up about this cause I know how hard it is to have a treatment. How much energy, and psychological strength and heartache and money time involved.

Talking to counsellor is a really good idea. She should help you how to go about this conversation with the Dr after all she should have good negotiating skills in these situations especially with a fertility nursing background.

By the way I envy you girls who can negotiate with hubbies (Dwrgi and HA, sit down explain etc etc) My DH doesn't have the concentration for that most of the time )) So a good old nose up in the air for half a day, or arranging a simultaneous dinner date with a girlfriend works better for me )) hahahahaha. All relationships have different dynamics I suppose.

Lava hon, last but not least, i am really looking fwd to good news. Pls pls pls "God" let Lava come back with good news...

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Thanks for the encouragement yesterday, ladies. I am still feeling pretty flabbergasted/dumbfounded/angry/frustrated/you name it.

My nurse encouraged us to go ahead and BD last night, but I was so angry/upset that I wasn't even remotely in the mood, and I didn't really see the point anyway since I could see for myself on the ultrasound yesterday morning that the eggs were already gone, that ship had sailed. My right ovary had four good follies at 17, 17, 16 and 12 on Tuesday and absolutely nothing yesterday - all released. They even scanned me twice because my nurse didn't believe it when the sonographer said there was nothing there. They checked my progesterone and LH yesterday and confirmed ovulation had already taken place.

I suspect the reason they don't just automatically put all IUI patients on ganirelix to suppress natural ovulation is the cost of the drug. But I am angry that I wasn't monitored more closely to see that I was close to ovulating. All it would have taken is a blood test to check my LH level every time they check my E2 level, and I don't understand why that's not standard.

My dr is on vacation this week and another dr at the clinic had been calling the shots on this cycle, but there's no way of knowing if my own dr would have done things any differently. My nurse is going to discuss things with my dr when he gets back next week to make sure I don't get lost in his pile of work when he returns - obviously a f*cked-up cycle is something that needs careful review. She also said after looking back over my records, she wonders if I ovulated naturally on my first two IUI cycles, messing up the timing of the insemination, and that's why we haven't had success yet, that maybe this f*ck-up is a blessing in disguise. On one hand I have to agree with her there - that thought had already occurred to me before she brought it up. On the other hand, why the hell didn't they check my LH in every damn cycle to see if I was close to ovulating naturally??!! Why isn't that routine??!!

One of the things that makes me angry is that I'll be out of town next month right around ovulation, so we have to skip treatment next month. That puts me into August before we can try again, and August means my bday, and my bday means I'm 38 not 37, and somehow already being pregnant at 38 seems more manageable to me than still trying at 38. I know that's all in my head, but it's there. And it definitely feels like I need to let go of any wish of having more than one... at this rate, if I get pregnant in August, I'll be 40 before I'm able to try for #2... I think I need to just let go of that, shoot for one child and be content with an only child. And that makes me angry at the whole journey because dammit, we started ttc at 35 and got pregnant right away - if that first baby had survived, I could be pregnant with #2 RIGHT NOW.

This has just taken the wind out of my sails. I took three months off from treatment to get my head in the right place and find the strength to keep trying, and in return I was met with a colossal error by my medical team. The only good news is that I shudder to think how I might have reacted if this had happened before my break - I might have just thrown in the ttc towel altogether. Instead I'll just take the next 6 weeks to regroup, be angry, yell scream and shout, and try again in August, when I am three years older than I was when I started all this ttc bs.

Oh my gosh! This makes me SO MAD!

Granted the ttc aspect of my experience was very "clinical" with exception to the midwife and her part in it...HOWEVER, I had labs every other day along with sono's. Whatever persuaded them NOT to monitor your labs while taking this cocktail?!

I would as you spoke about, ask for some kind of monetary kickback for their mistake.

The good part of this...If there be any at all is that YOU have become such an advocate for yourself that you KNOW you should have been monitored and can now be after them to do so. The frustrating aspect of this is your time, money and hormones were put through the ringer because of their lapse in judgement. I expect if your putting forth your money and effort and physical as well as emotional self into this, THEY need to follow through with monitoring EVERYTHING. You have every right to be frustrated. I'm so mad for you that I could throw glass right now!

I am SO proud of you though! The research and advocate you are will help. I cannot believe this happened though and to think your not going to be around for ovulation next month....makes me all the more steamed they left you in the lurch like they did.

I'm SO sorry for what they put you through. It's SO hard to go through this process physically and emotionally putting your all into something and then this happens.





Lava, waiting patiently for what I'm hoping will be a joyous outcome dear friend.

 

[skye2010]

As for me...dh is still being a butt head. he didn't talk to me last night when he got home from work, just ignored me. He likes to do this, so I will just start talking to him and pretend like he didn't do anything...but this time he really hurt me girls....he told me to F*uck off the other night....out of no where, while he was on his cell phone. All, I did was point something out to him. I'm already going through enough hardship right now, and he has to say that.

Luvy, I'm sorry I must have missed this post while my computer went all loopy. I didn't realise things dragged on for so long. So unpleasant. In that case perhaps you can soften the air and talk to him. But ignoring it completely is not a good idea. You can mention it and have a conversation once you are both a little calmer. Cause it looks like he has some issues in his head as well. If you both bottle it these outbursts might continue for both. Man are sometimes not so great at voicing what's worrying them instead they show it more like an outburst.
But definitely not good to be in not talking terms too long. Hope it resolves quickly xxx

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Luv- Oh my word! He'd say that ONCE to me and I'd throw his butt outside and tell him to come back when he can be more respectful! All his things would be out the door and he can find a hotel! I DO hope things can be better soon. While this takes a toll on couples, there's NO REASON for that kind of crap in a marriage. Either talk about it or if your going to spew language like that at me get the heck out until you can manage to speak with respect!


AFM: Was diagnosed with bacterial vaginosis on the 20th and have been taking Flagyl for that. Just got a call from the nurse that the urine analysis came back with some unknown bacteria as well. NOW I'm on flagyl and macrobid.

I'm PRAYING I don't end up in the hospital again with C-diff. ((FAINT)) That was the worst experience EVER with the trotts and vomiting for 9 hours straight then ending up on leads for all kinds of meds. For the most part I'm being positive and am grateful they caught it in time but common already! My stupid body is full of bad bacteria. What the heck is going on already?! It's not like I'm not eating greek yogurt. Something is wrong with the flora in my body for crying out loud! I need peace in my flora!

 

[purplelou]

ma in the uk some g u (genito urinary ) specialsts recommend a gel called balance activ for recurrent b v . I'm not sure if its suitable in pregnancy but there is some evidence that it can prevent it. Might be worth asking your specialist about it. Typing this on my phone so sorry about any errors etc

 

[Mommy's Angel]

ma in the uk some g u (genito urinary ) specialsts recommend a gel called balance activ for recurrent b v . I'm not sure if its suitable in pregnancy but there is some evidence that it can prevent it. Might be worth asking your specialist about it. Typing this on my phone so sorry about any errors etc

Thanks! I'll have to ask them on Wed. about the stuff. Wonder if we have it here. I'll write it down for future reference!


I'm on pins and needles waiting for Lava. Praying she has a good appointment!

 

[FutureMommie]

Vittori- Welcome back and Yay for dh going back to the meds!

HA- I totally agree about the blood test, my RE never gave me blood test either, there were times when I wondered it I'd already ovulated. I'm not sure what your insurance coverage is for fertility, Mine was $5k over my life time which I have exhausted. I will say to check your coverage if you don't know what it is because ordering fertility meds which are extremly expensive can use it up in no time and your RE needs to be aware of that, you should not have to order meds unnecessarly, they are EXPENSIVE, I remember that my insurance said ganirellix was like $600.00 if I had been paying out of pocket for the meds. I'm learning that we have to advocate for ourselves and I know you are really good at that so let that RE have it, and let him know that you want to be monitered and if he can't or won't do it then its time to move on.

Luv- So sorry hun sending hugs your way and hoping that you and dh make up soon.

MA- Hope you get some answers and start feeling better soon.

Where is missyt she has posted in a few days?

Hi Purple, dwrgi, Omm

Lava- on pins and needles, finger crossed and praying for you!

AFM-So Last night my dh gave me a fertility braclet that he ordered on line and whether there is anything to it or not it was such a sweet gesture, and I will wear it eveyday until I get my bfp!

 

[Dwrgi]

Lava-I'm going to bed hun but I just wanted to say that I hope you're okay...... Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed.

 

[lavalux]

Ladies,
Thank you so much for your support and many prayers! They worked!

We just saw our two babies with heartbeats fluttering away madly.

This was by far one of the worst weeks I've ever had in my life waiting for what our nurse & the internet (bad google) made us believe was going to be terrible news. I really don't know how I got through it except for my DH, you guys, the few friends who knew what was going on with me, and of course ... God. I kept praying not for a particular outcome, but for peace and strength to get through whatever we had ahead b/c I was barely functioning this week.

I really love our doctor and he put us at ease right away. I have been released from our fertility clinic and came away with some names of OBs to check out. I must say that the doctor we had last week really just exacerbated my fears by not saying anything and not explaining to us what was going on. When my nurse told me on Friday that they should have seen 2 fetal poles already & only occasionally did that change at the next scan, I was so upset. She didn't want me to get my hopes up and she effectively squashed any that I had. She was very sweet to me today, but I really wish we would not have gone for such an early scan.

Now DH & I are trying to process how in the world we will afford TWINS and where we will put them in our small 2 bedroom condo. It is going to be tight! But we will figure it out.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Honestly, I really did feel that you were all behind me and cared about me, which helped me get through the last few days.

 

[skye2010]

Vittori-

they are EXPENSIVE, I remember that my insurance said ganirellix was like $600.00

That's a bit steep. Cetrotide costs around £180.
Bracelet is really sweet Hope it brings u luck...
I think I'll sleep soon too Lava hugs hugs

 

[skye2010]

OMG Lava we just cross posted. Yaaaay!!! Finally !!! Well done sweetie. You can really give yourself and DH a nice relaxed weekend finally.
I'm so relieved too.

Right girls can't take more excitement today, off to bed, c u all tomorrow
xxx

 

[lavalux]

Luv,
I'm sorry about your husband. Mine said that to me once in a heated argument and then left the house to "cool off" by going for a run around the block. When he got back he apologized for the comment, but it took me a few days to get over it. I'm sure you will make up and you know the best way to handle the situation. Ignoring him might be a good idea for a little while!

Welcome Vittori!

FM,
Your husband is such an incredible sweetheart. That is such a kind, loving gesture.

MA,
I hope that infection clears up soon so that you can catch a break and rest and thoroughly enjoy this pregnancy. You have really had so much strength and courage. I am so happy that you have made it past so many important benchmarks. Amelia is going to be one lucky little baby to have you and Doug as parents.

 

[rottpaw]

Ladies,
Thank you so much for your support and many prayers! They worked!

We just saw our two babies with heartbeats fluttering away madly.

This was by far one of the worst weeks I've ever had in my life waiting for what our nurse & the internet (bad google) made us believe was going to be terrible news. I really don't know how I got through it except for my DH, you guys, the few friends who knew what was going on with me, and of course ... God. I kept praying not for a particular outcome, but for peace and strength to get through whatever we had ahead b/c I was barely functioning this week.

I really love our doctor and he put us at ease right away. I have been released from our fertility clinic and came away with some names of OBs to check out. I must say that the doctor we had last week really just exacerbated my fears by not saying anything and not explaining to us what was going on. When my nurse told me on Friday that they should have seen 2 fetal poles already & only occasionally did that change at the next scan, I was so upset. She didn't want me to get my hopes up and she effectively squashed any that I had. She was very sweet to me today, but I really wish we would not have gone for such an early scan.

Now DH & I are trying to process how in the world we will afford TWINS and where we will put them in our small 2 bedroom condo. It is going to be tight! But we will figure it out.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Honestly, I really did feel that you were all behind me and cared about me, which helped me get through the last few days.

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! Praise God! See, I KNEW it would be good news! Our God is sooooooo good!!

Love and hugs to all FOUR of you!