TTC #3..stopped Clomid mid-way this month..

[Hopeful42nd]

PS- I don't let my husband cook. I don't like his food, maybe I'm just picky, but who can scre up spaghetti? He can! Plus then I just have to go in there and clean the catastrophe he created. It's just easier for me to claim the kitchen.

 

[cupcakemomof2]

I feel ya on the clean up, I love his food tho so it makes cleaning a mess of a kitchen worth while! He makes such a huge mess, uses a ton of pots and pans like he is cooking for an army not two people! Lol

I don't know what motility issues are? But I'm glad it was able to get better and you guys were able to conceive your little one, and hopefully more! I'm sure you will be fine. That story is so cute about the Mothers Day thing!

With Sarah, I went in without testing but I was late. I figured my messed up cycle. My previous gyn staff was very dysfunctional when they did things but the doctors were awesome. They took my urine and told me I was not pregnant! They said I should see te doctor to up the dose or get referred to an RE. I was speaking to the doctor for an hour before we decided I will go to an RE and he said get undressed so I can check for cysts. I was like ok. I go in the room, and a nurse comes in and speaks to him in a medical language with abbreviations and such. And he goes to me,(meanwhile I was laying there with my legs up.) He goes, "you are pregnant!" I immediately started crying and i can't even explain how I felt, then I switched back to reality and I was like, how!? They told me test was negative! He goes, they mixed yours up with someone else's. I went from totally upset and disappointed to totally shaken and crying the next minute! He was like wow! They did an ultrasound and they saw the yolk sac I think it was called! How bitter-sweet. NOw I keep thinking this time around I will have the same experience! Lol it never happens the same! Oh, and I was also told that my progesterone level was very low when I had gone on cd21, so I like to call it a miracle lol.

What testing do you go in for now? Any progesterone tests? Mine is tomorrow. Then the RE to get some answers! No more pain or muscle pulling feeling in the area so today I am good! How are you feeling?

 

[Hopeful42nd]

That's crazy they gave you the wrong test results! Emotional roller coaster or what!
Me? Well today I'm just so exhausted. I didn't do much besides a big grocery shop, but I feel like I've done a three hour workout and haven't slept in two days! Lol, I'm sure I'll be fine just need to nibble something and recharge. I have slight bloating in the tummy, but hey, who knows what's going on in there. I really don't even feel like cooking today. I'll just cut up stuff for make your own taco's. Easy and yummy

That's good your are getting a progesterone check done since you've had issues in the past. Mine has always been good so it's unnecessary to keep repeating it. So I have nothing until I get or I don't... So I just have to wait wait and wait some more.
Do you normally test or just wait for AF? I will usually test a couple days before, just out of curiosity, last month only the day before. Not sure how this month will work out. I'll try to wait but I doubt I'll last!

 

[cupcakemomof2]

Sounds like my kind of day. I did grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning and pretty much was on my feet all day, oh yeah, and Chiropractor! lol. We can't forget that. My SIL came over with her kids for a few hours later in the evening, they just left a while ago. Her two year old keeps calling me Mama, it's odd, she's been doing it for the past week like all the time. She goes to her.."Baby, she's Amelia.." and she goes "Nuh uh - MAMA!" lol. She is too cute, I love that little girl to death. The minute she sees me her big brown eyes just light up and she gives me this big giggley laugh, it's too cute!

I usually test when I miss my period, but I might earlier this month. I have a long 30-31 day cycle, so sometimes I never know how much longer than 31 days it's going to be until it shows up. Like last month I got it on CD34, which is unusual but I thought maybe since I took a month off of Clomid that month it probably affected it! I hate testing, then BFN! I bought those digital ones so they kinda spell it out for you and make it more disappointing. Sometimes I love reading those very very very faint lines and I fool myself into thinking..ohhhhh, MAYBE!!

Tacos sound yummy, we love them. Haven't made them in a while so I may give them a go tomorrow. Quick and delish!

I was bloated all day today, I stopped eating at 5pm and it was gone! Then earlier this evening I experienced this extreme nausea that just came out of the blue, I wasn't even thinking about pregnancy or anything was totally distracted with the kids. I could have totally vomitted that's how bad it got, but that went away too! My ta-ta's have a weird tingle feeling to them once every hour or two, so that's odd..no change in firmness yet tho! That usually happens a week before AF! LOL. So who knows what's going on in our bodies, we shall wait & see!

What else is new? How's your little man doing? Kids here are fine, my son was being a brat today which is unusual because hes a very sweet kid but he totally had a fit this evening when I let his cousin play with his Wii game which he looks forward to playing as soon as he comes home after school, and today he couldn't..I was like, sharing is caring, for the millionth time! He was like alright..alright..I'm too old for that kinda stuff, I'll just let him! I was like THANK YOU!!!! There you go! So I totally got upset when he had a fit, it happens!

Alright girlie, I'll fill you in tomorrow on my Progesterone numbers, kinda feeling pessimistic, my prog. numbers are in the 4.7's, at least for those 4 times I've been through them (including with my daughter.) Nighty night - I am EXHAUSTED and I can hear my bed calling my name.

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Wow, finally a chance to get on here and talk. Xavier is eating his lunch, not sure how long I have so on with it
It's finally started to accumulate some snow here! It's pretty but cold, brr. I think it's a stay indoors day for me. That is so cute about your SIL's kid must make her mom feel weird. I absolutely love your name, it's so pretty. I can't believe we've been talking do much and never knew each others real names mine is Shannon by the way.

If I were you id test no more than a 2-3 days early as you most likely won't get a pos before that. I hate the digital tests, it can get so expensive to test with those. I have internet tests, work just the same at 25ml detection. Another reason for me not to test too much is it sucks so much getting that it's almost not worth it to do. But so hard to wait!!!! I just want to know so bad. If I'm not I'd like to have a few nice glasses of wine, or a Stella. It's funny you give up all this stuff, and without even knowing for sure.

My DH picked a stupid fight with me this morning for no reason. I just got frustrated with it and started to cry saying 'I'm not supposed to be stressed out, now it's not gonna work'. Lol, I can laugh about it now, I think he's letting the stress of not knowing make him bitchy. Guess he's not handling it as well as I thought. He apologized for being an meanie, now things are fine. I'll stop playing my tiny now

I've been bloated today too. It's crazy, feels like AF time but so far off from that. I'm not going to read into it too much. Lots of creamy CM too. Just the normal hotly joys we have. That's strange about the nausea. Did you get morning sickness with your other two? I only got queasy when I didn't eat enough. I'd have to snack with small meals all day long. My major issue was heartburn!!!! I had to drink milk before bed and eat tums like they were gonna stop making them!

Your son sounds like most generally good kids out there. They make the odd mistakes and learn from them its funny how grown up they are one second, and how they can revert back to child the next.

Don't be a pessimist. Maybe clomid will have changed things for you. What I am curious about is, if your doc knows this and put you on clomid, why would he not also put you on progesterone supplement to keep your levels up. If you test low at my clinic they put you on it right after O till you find out if you are or aren't. It's pretty standard, as too low and you can't sustain a pregnancy, especially first trimester. So you must've gone in my now, but do they phone you in the afternoon to tell you or does it take longer?

I'm crossing my fingers and toes for you. Stay positive! If it comes back low your appt is next week! I'm sure you can get this all solved then.
XO ttyl

 

[cupcakemomof2]

Nice to virtually meet you, Shannon! That's a very nice name as well!

You won't believe what happened to me today, BACK TO BACK! I got ready to go to the GYN's office, and I was running a bit late so I picked up my phone to call the office and let them know (they are very strict, they have a 15 minute grace period!) Next thing I know, cop behind me! He asked me if I had a "valid" reason to be on the cell phone, I said ..hm, no I don't, but I also am going way below speed limit and I was on the phone with my doctor's office due to a condition I suffer from. He said, "law is the law!" So he tickets me ...wait for it! I show up at my doctor's office and they tell me, "We don't show an appointment for Progesterone today, and we can't do one otherwise I could lose my job - and the Dr is not here." I was like ready to pull every strand of my hair out by that point, because not only did I get a ticket trying to get there, and not only was I confirmed for 1pm, but I show up and they turn me away! I said I need to speak to your manager, I have made this appointment a month ago! The nurse comes out and she tells me, we confirmed with the Doctor, and he doesn't want you to do this test but re-examine you to make sure what you need next. I said excuse me, and you chose to tell me this when I showed up? This is so dysfunctional, why do these things happen to me, I have no idea! I got home all furious (mainly because of that ticket,) got on the phone with the director of the GYN department, she expresses her apologizies to me like by this time I need her freakin' apology, and I just vowed that I would never ever return to that practice again. They said would you like to reschedule to see the doctor? I was like, you wish! Meanwhile I got home and did some research on the cell phone situation, I've never gotten a mobile ticket before - it says on NYS law, if during that time you were on the phone with ANY medical provider, and if you show proof, it is bound to be dismissed, so I have to return my ticket, I will most likely get a court date, and see what happens! I would hate to spend over $100 for something that I never ever do unless I find myself into some situation like today! So frustrating..I was so upset, I felt like my whole body shut off! When it rains, it pours! So no progesterone test - I will never know if I ovulated, but thankfully I will go to a specialist on Wednesday and talk to him about everything. I did ask about why the GYN wasn't putting me on progesterone if my numbers are low, the nurse tells me, I've never heard that - we usually do that for pregnant women. I was like.."most likely I won't get pregnant to begin with, with my numbers being that low!" She didn't say anything. These people just think like..I don't do my own research, or I don't read books..I know these things, I know they're professionals but I know my own body as well!

Enough of me.

How's everything going? I know how that age is with Xavier, I used to worship any minute I got to spend in peace whether I was cleaning, on the phone or computer when my kids were that little. Cause they always need so much attention!

I'm sorry about your hubby, like I said, it happens. When I called mine for the ticket he flipped out like he's never. I was like chill out you're stressing me out more! As soon as I say that he stops cause he's like, Ok now I feel bad! Men - sigh! They do not understand the female compassion, lol. We just have to go along with whatever they say because no matter what, it's a matter of hours, or even minutes, for them to turn around and either say, "Sorry" or make it up to you somehow. You're not the only one, is what I'm trying to say!

I'm no longer bloated, and that nausea was weird. I only had vomitting with my son, with my daughter absolutely no symptoms! I may have been around 3 weeks pregnant with him when I was throwing up like everyday, and I didn't know I was pregnant at that point as I explained to you on the previous thread. I may have been 6 weeks preggo before I found out I was! We just thought it was a stomach bug, I kept blaming my husband for something he had cooked, I was like look you got me sick, I remember it like it was yesterday he goes.."then why am I not sick?" hehe! We can get annoying at times too can't we? lol

I guess we will have to wait and see what happens with me now, I'm pretty much on the same boat as you are, either waiting for AF to show up, or for it to not show and test! The digital tests are expensive, when I run out of this batch I will most likely order those sticks online! I know they're more affordable for sure!

So I feel like I totally wrote an essay, but I know you'll understand!

Have a goodnight, and we'll talk soon!

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Holy shit.
That is so crazy what you went through today. Talk about a bad day and then some. I would lose it on someone or cry the way my emotions go when I'm in clomid months. It's strange how it gives me extremes. I had no idea they put stipulations on those cell phone bans for doctor calls. Neato, I'll tell the hubby that's his excuse if he gets caught...as he is infamous for using his phone while driving. Maybe I should check our Ontario rules first

How disrespectful they were of your time and emotions. Why can doctors not be held accountable for that type of thing. Kevin opened our gas bill today and it was $780!!! Our usage had over tripled from last month. This is the third time now we've had a heart attack opening our bill. The person who reads our meter keeps reading it wrong cause there is a bit of a fog on the glass. So we have to call in during business hours and wait on hold forever to give them the proper numbers to charge us the right amount. Funny how Kev can read it fine and they can't. So he calls today and is like 'so you have up my last bill on screen, do you notice anything weird? Mainly the usage???' the lady was like 'oh that can't be right'. Your damn right it can't! So he got transferred to a manager who he chewed out for wasting our time, others errors that cannot continue. The result, they are coming tomorrow to replace our meter! Ha! Sometimes I love how his portuguese temper can get stuff done! I know it's not the same as your situation but it shows how companies let their employees screw up without being held accountable.

Okay, this is to be continued....baby crying...

 

[Hopeful42nd]

You are right about men. They are infamous overreact then say sorry later'ers. Ah well, we can't all be perfect, bahahaha! He's working on our pipes right now, then he goes in to work tonight to cut in some equipment. They only rarely do it, when they have to shut down entire buildings cable to do what they need to, so as not to disrupt ppl's television time. It's so funny how they can't disrupt that, but they can turn off your water and power to do work. This worlds priorities kill me.

So I hope your done fuming about the ticket now....if you need a laugh check this out


Ah, 10 more days. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
Thanks for being there virtual friend
Have a better night Amelia, tomorrow is a new day!

 

[cupcakemomof2]

Oh my goodness, that has happened to us once, except for it was around $550 and we keep the heat steady throughout the day, we don't turn it off at night etc etc, I try to keep the house at 75 with doors shut. Especially lately since it's practically freezing outside! Ugh, I have a headache. I'm glad you were able to straighten that out. That can't be good. Now we are on Budget Billing, based on your usage they give you a steady price every month but every 6 months you are evaluated to see if you used more/less and it goes up/down based on that. W have been good so far, because I'm not a very hot person - during the summer I barely turn on the AC so that's when our bill gets cheaper I'm sure. Then during the winter we get to use heat more, I think we pay about $300per month roughly. We had to stay on regular billing for about a year when we first moved in - cuz you have had to live here for that long to be eligible for budget billing. The first year our winter bill was crazy, the most expensive one ended up being when my in laws stayed over here for about a week, and that month it was like $600, heat like crazy! LOL

I know what you mean about the irresponsability in most places, what can you do. I would never do such a thing to anyone, it would just kill me, it's so inhumane. Especially since they know how I'm struggling to get pregnant and today was the DAY to check my progesterone, you can't just check progesterone when they feel like it! Idiots. Complete morons! Just looking forward to going to the RE Wed.

Nothing much except a stressful day! Time to have a snack and call it a night and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Have you been experiencing any symptoms like painful O? No pain here - nothing today actually..just pissed off. You are right, I am surprised I didn't flip out at the office or in front of the cop! Clomid makes me nuts, but not as nuts this month since I stopped half way!

Have a wonderful night & day tomorrow!

Talk soon!

 

[cupcakemomof2]

PS: Thanks for cheering me up by the way! I had to laugh at that icon..and the "be right back part.." then you were "right back!" Too cute! LOL.

I don't know if you are on FB, (that's all I have, took myspace out a while back) but if you are and want to connect through there search me under my e-mail: [email protected].

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Morning
Mmm, nothing like a cup of decaf to get you going in the morning. Lol, I miss real coffee! So I just had a nice relaxing bath after DH replaced some pipes and he fixed our water pressure pretty good! Just trying to get the muchkin to sleep (which is never easy) and be super quiet so as not to wake him. It's nice and sunny out today but still cold.

So when I woke this morning I was pretty uncomfortable. I think I mustve pinched my sciatic nerve a bit because my leg had numbness yet a shooting pain down it. It's getting a bit better now, wish I knew what I did to it, oh well, life goes on. Xavier has been pretty demanding this morning, not wanting to be put down even long enough for me to make him breakfast! When he was down he spent the entire time bum scooting around after the cats, so funny!

I feel nothing today really, not like yesterday with the weird feeling in the the urine area. I want to feel something familiar to my first pregnancy so bad, or just something to tell me it might be happening. Like the sharp pain people sometimes get during the stage of implantation, or anything that'll give me a clue! I think I am starting to get restless and impatient...it's only 5 dpo. I think it's because I know im entering the days where implantaion happens and now I'm nervous it won't

Wednesday is fast approaching! Is it just an initial consult? On ours both Kev and I went in and discussed our concerns, they let us know diff courses of action and let us choose based on their recommendation. It finally made us feel like we were in the drivers seat with it all. I was given a script for Clomid, we both had blood taken, him 3 vials, me like nine, so they could do a full work up on our starting point. I was told to come in once my new cycle began on day 3 for b/w and scan, Kev was to drop off a sample and we'd go from there. The good thing is my clinic has their own lab on site, so all blood and semen testing is done right there. Just thought you may want to know what to expect, even though I know it's most likely different where you are.

So since Kevin had the water off last night, I woke up to all the dishes from last nights dinner, unrinsed, and dried on. Urgh, so gross, I spend the first half hour scrubbing with a baby tugging on my pant leg.

So no pains at all like when I O'd, that was awful by the way...just as we speak a bit of a dull very mild ache on the left side of my uterus.my ladies feel normal,I really don't think I would notice too much with them cause I'm breastfeeding and they swell when they fill. I guess it'd be more evident with nipple pain, but alas nothing going on there. I know, it's much too early. So I continue to wait.........

I will add you on Facebook when I get a chance to go on my computer,which I never use anymore due to having my phone....it's on the basement and besides laundry I really don't go down there. I think I mentioned that before, about the mancave.

Well I should go. More cleaning to be done always!!!
Itll help pass the time, I hope!
I hope you are well and staying positive. You could still be pregnant!

 

[cupcakemomof2]

Morning! I miss any kind of coffee, decaf and all others lol. I have cut back on it drastically, at least till' I conceive. I just make some organic tea my mom brought me when she visited Turkey last year, and I still have some left for one more month!

Sorry about the dishes, I know that feeling, I try to get rid of them at night as well, but there are days when I'm just so exhausted and just leave it for the morning. Xavier is too cute, he is definitely a one year old! I am pretty good with the kids' morning schedule now that they're a bit older - Sarah doesn't usually wake up until 9:30-10am so after I take Marlen to school at around 7:30, I get some morning house work done and go right back to bed. Till she wakes up. It doesn't always happen that I do, but on the very tired days definitely!

I woke up to some pretty sharp contracting in my uterine area this morning, the kinds where you are like OUCH! Not sure what may be going on, I doubt I have a cyst though, besides the PCOS thing - I don't usually suffer from cysts, ever. And the PCOS follicles are so microscopic they don't cause any harm. Maybe you will start to feel some twingies here and there later tomorrow, since you O'ed a couple of days behind me, and of course implantation wise (if we indeed are getting pregnant) you'd have to wait a couple of more days too. With my history, implantation does NOT occurr before 10 days or even more. Not expecting AF till' 10 more days..so..I'm excited to see what has happened even though I haven't been tested or monitored whatsoever.

Your dull ache may just be a sign of the more severe ache a bit later, cause that's how mine started. I may have had like two contractions this morning, but one that lasted like 10 seconds. Feels like when I went to irregular labor with Sarah! LOL

The thing about your leg - guess what! Down my left thigh and below, I had the same numbness/dull acheness. It may be a side effect even from Clomid, like an after-pill side effect, it's not unheard of, try warm compresses, they always help me when I'm experiencing some pain and don't really feel like taking Ibuprofen unless of course you can't take it.

Have a great day, not much cleaning to do here, just everyday laundry, Sarah has pre-school, Marlen needs to be picked up. He is enrolled in Tae Kwon Do and now "Mad Science" it's a school program they offer if you choose to take it at an extra fee. So my afternoons 5 days a week are pretty much shot, I get home like..can't stay on both feet.

We are thinking of heading over to Chicago to see my family, and my husband keeps asking me to pick a date so I think I'm going to shoot for mid February, my birthday is Valentine's day, and I don't remember the last time I spent my birthday with my own fam since they're so far out and all. I was with them my 25th, and the rest were just with hubby and his fam. I kinda miss mine..a lot. I just get this emptiness in my stomach when I think about how far out I am from my parents, I tried to bring it up to Lou to possibly move to Chicago, but he has a nice job here we can't just take off. We bought the house, refinishing the basement now, so nothing in the near future, but possibly once the kids are a bit older. Nothing like your own' momma! I tell Sarah all the time, "wherever you are, I will follow you so you'll never have to miss me, even on the days when you'll want to have me away!" She smiles and she goes.."No mommy, I'm going to stay in NY forever!!" LOL it's cute.

Xoxo talk soon

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Good Evening,
Yeah, I tried to pull off the whole no coffee thing and it wasn't going so well. I tried green tea and rooibus tea but I was still missing coffee so much I'd get crazy headaches. Now I try to just have a decaf to fake that maybe I got caffiene. Plus I just love the taste of coffee, and espresso. It's working for now

So I just had a wonderful dinner! Cajan blackened salmon fillets, butter Parmesan fussili, and fresh salad with mango dressing! Yum yum. I looked online for a diff way to cook the salmon and this recipe rocks! I think I'm making an apple pie tonight, as DH picked up apples for me and I'm picky and don't like the ones he got he bought those per bagged granny smith ones, I choose them myself normally as I like certain flavor in them. I know, so anal, whatever, we all have our quirks. I figure if I bake these in a pie I won't notice so much.

I bet Marlen looks so cute I. His martial arts outfit I can just picture it. So you are one busy mom now. All the extracurriculars are so draining. My aunt has two kids and they both play hockey, the girl does ballet, jazz, and swimming. It's too much. I say 1 or two things that interest them max, otherwise it becomes a drain for everyone. I look forward to all that, maybe he and I will join the Y so he can try out diff things. Right now he's content to read some books on the floor and watch the backyardigans. I love hearing him try to talk...so adorable.

That would be great to do something special for your birthday. So what's the magic number this year? I never do anything special for my birthday, and my husband is terrible at surprising me or actually planning rather than procrastinating till the last minute. Your right, there is nothing like your own mom!

Hmm, just thought of something. That might be right in your O time which means they may want to be monitoring you then. Maybe you could skip a month to go to Chicago. It all depends on how soon you want to do it. Valentines day, nice birthday!must such for going out to dinner huh? Restaurants all overpacked, with jacked up prices

Wouldn't that be weird if I was the clomid causing the leg thing? I don't know but it's really annoying and I just want it to go away. Maybe we both have poor circulation. Today was relatively uneventful. I had a little mind aches, then a weird almost burning sensation near my belly button, but that only lasted a couple of minutes. Now I'm sitting on the couch about to go make a tea and get on that pie!

I have no clue what to say about your pain but I got that pain pretty bed when I O'd. Are you sure you O'd when you thought? If its not that then that weird. I've never heard of people saying implantation pain being that bad, but let's hope it was that! FX

I really hope this month isn't a bust for either of us, I think I'll be crushed. I'm starting to get nervous, not good, too early for that yet!

This waiting crap is for the birds

 

[cupcakemomof2]

Hi girlie,

Sorry for not responding earlier. Sick as a dog, Marlen was sick with a fever last night. I woke up to horrible cramping this morning and had this gush of brown plus red mix blood then it stopped. So AF is definitely on it's way! This is not my month! Ughhhh!!!! Appt Wednesday so I hope I don't get my actual bleed yet because if Re wants go give me Clomid again, gotta start on CD3.

What is new today? That sounds delicious. You seem like you are quite the cook! Awesome! We had a huge snow storm here about 2 feet or so, took the kids for sledding then came right back in about 30 minutes. Last night was a rough one.

Your son is really young now. You will get the time when he is older and you are going to be like Ahhhhhhh..practice, karate etc etc, especially since you will be having a second child, and soon I have a feeling!! I used to read to both kids really young so Marlen actually was reading in Kindergarten. That's his thing even to this day, he loves to read/write. My nephew is in Kindergarten and when my SIL told me he can't read I was surprised but I heard it's normal. Sarah will enter K this year so I'll see how she does. I bought the whole "your baby can read" 6 years ago, and it is great! Worth considering!

I turn 29. But I feel as good as 19 so that's all that matters lol not really! I'm exhausted. Nothing special, most likely dinner and a gift for both birthday and Vday! Those times when he got me two are like before I said YES!! Lol. He usually gets me a custom cake, dinner out somewhere and a gift!

So yes I do feel crushed that I should expect my witch any day now but oh well. Hopefully you will be preggers this month, I'd honestly be so happy for you! He/ she would have a perfect age gap with your son, kinda like my kids. They are best friends!!

Wait a few more days, and maybe you should test before the expected period! I may ask to go straight for injectibles next month. Something is very wrong, I told Lou to take off that day and come with me, like you said! He needs blood work for himself anyway! He was like, no prob! So I can't wait.

Fill me in on any news. And again sorry it took this long, I actually just got on my computer since yesterday! Xoxoxo oxoxox !!!!

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Hey, don't worry about taking time to respond. I totally understand. That's awful to hear you are sick, and your son. So you think she is coming huh, do you normally spot or get light bleeding before the full force arrives? I usually get a day(in odd month two where I get ever do tiny amount of brown when wiping to signal her imminent arrival. I really hope it's not over for you! 30% of women bleed in early pregnancy don't forget!
Maybe you could call then and see if they have a cancellation on Monday or tuesday to get in if it is the

So confession, in another life I should have become a chef! I have so much fun and am passionste cooking, depending on it I have the time, and I just love to see others enjoy the food! So we haven't had too much snow at all maybe 8 inches total. I kinda wish there was a bit more to take Xavier out to play in, see what he thinks. Actually it supposed to be 1degree celcius today, nice afternoon, maybe well go for a walk with his sled

So yesterday, I had a rough day. I woke up grumpy, my skin was on fire (to me it felt like my blood was boiling) and I was overemotional. I became frustrated when Xavier was being uncooperative, I cried cause he wouldn't take a nap, I cried cause there were too many dishes sitting in the sink cause I had no time, I got pissed off that DH was being lazy (I think he got that, cause shortly after he began to rip off the tile around the fireplace to redo). All around I was one hot mess!!! Feel much better today though. I think it was my progesterone peaked yesterday so it made me a crazy woman!

Yesterday I tested my FMU just to ensure the trigger HCG was out of my system. so it's gone. It was 6dpo. So now I know if I test and it's it'll be for real! I am so nervous now. All I can think is, what if it didn't work???? $300 spent this cycle, can't keep dropping it for months with no result. I just really want it to work out. I'm having really stupid dreams lately, nothing to do with pregnancy, some about old friends in weird situstions. One about my cat climbing into the laundry cupboard (which he does do) and climbing into the ceiling from there and getting stuck and meowing bloody murder like he was injured. It's so strange but so real.

29 was a good age to turn. I still had no gray hair, was still in great shape, no stretch marks, perky boobs. Now that I'm 32 and had a baby things do not look quite the same. I remember driving to work when I turned 30, I looked in my rear view to see a lone gray hair sticking up, my first one! Lol, once Xavier was born I hot some more oh well bound to happen. I'm not a write off but I'm much more critical of myself now. Must be a girl thing.

That's great news that your hubby is on board and supportive. At the very least he should hold your hand through it, it can be a very draining process and the more informed he is on what you ste going through the better. After all it takes two to make a baby.

We'll see how long I wait to test, I'm usually good till like 11 or 12 dpo. I'm excited but so nervous and worried as well.

Talk to you later, tell that to go away

 

[cupcakemomof2]

Oh no, isn't that like full price for an IUI? :/ Does your insurance not cover it at all? As long as you get a BFP, all worth it! And I have you in my thoughts and prayers.

As for me, brown spotting doubled today, it's getting to that point where I know I will be getting my AF anytime now. Clomid makes my cycle shorter, and since I stopped it half way, now it's probably EVEN shorter, unless I actually don't get a real bleed till' CD28 which will be normal. Today is CD25. My RE at the closest location to me is only at that office on Wednesdays, so as long as AF doesn't show her face tonight, I'm good. I don't think brown spotting is considered a period. I haven't seen a tint of red yet.

We got way more than 8 inches. According to meteorologists that's how many we were supposed to get, but since we're an hour up north from NYC - we always get more! Since it's the mountains here and all. Kids went out yesterday, they liked it. Hubby kept asking me if he should shovel the driveway and I was like just forget it before you sprain your back like last year lol, it's supposed to be in the 30's and sunny over the week so i'm sure it will melt quicker than usual.

No gray hairs yet! When I was growing up I got a skin pigment, (my skin below my eye turned off white,) and it was only a little dot, then it became like, at least an inch wide which isn't bad. That also affected the back of my head, and made a bunch of hairs on the back white. I was like 7 years old, the doctors said it will never go away, but sometimes I'm a redhead, sometimes a blonde, and I always mention it to the hairdresser when I go in if it's a different one and she puts more highlights in that area. It's not bad, maybe like 4-5 hair strands all together, but noticeable if I pull my hair back. I'm very white anyways, so the part below my eye is barely noticeable unless someone stares at that area for a few minutes, and when I wear make-up; you can't even tell it. I remember my mom used to WORRY sooooooo much! My grandparents would call her insane for acting like that. I guess I would to if god forbid my kids had something like this, but now that I'm married and have kids she's like, oh it was nothing! I was like yeah, uhuh..sure! lol. But as far as naturally from aging, I don't have any gray hair strands yet..I'm sure in a couple of more years!

Glad your HCG is out of your system, now when you test for pregnancy you know you'll get the right thing, as always, hopefully a huge BFP!!! So which day are you going to test? Are you at 11DPO yet? That's a good time to actually pee on the stick!! I'm sure you'll get at least a faint line by then for sure!

I'm sorry you had that whole emotional rollercoaster. It happens, as moms we have a lot in our hands, and now that we are trying to get pregnant and going through all of this, it kinda becomes too much! But always know it's temporary. Yesterday when I wrote you I felt like I was never going to get out of my black cloud, but then today was another day - and I felt much better. Hubby made me breakfast and coffee (finally, coffee, I was like I DON'T CARE ANYMORE..CAFFEINE IT IS! LOL,) then we went out with my SIL and her kids out for lunch, so everything kinda just feels like dropped into place. I also got together with an old coworker of mine and I just got home. She wants me to do some work from home a few hours a week for her, she's a director, and she said it's perfect since you are home - so this is a nice opportunity. I'm thinking of working while Sarah is in preschool, 4 hours each day for 3 days a week..and still be home with my kiddies!

Fill me in on anything new, especially if you test again, or how you feel. Stay strong - everything just has it's time I've come to find out, if it's not today - it's tomorrow or the day after. I've learned to be patient and accept things the way they are, if i didn't, god knows I'd go insane by now..i had so much hope this month was going to be it - but again, there's always the next, and the one after that!

Hugs & Kisses, Goodnight and I'll talk to you soon!

 

[cupcakemomof2]

PS: I forgot, about your dreams. I had the same thing not too long ago. One day I dreamt like so vividly like I was giving birth to a baby - and I was so scared, but then in the same bed that I was giving birth, I pictured my sister in law giving birth..so I kept asking myself, is it me or her? Then i had this image of a newborn baby. Yesterday I dreamt like my best friend who now lives in Chicago was 25 weeks pregnant..like I remember..25 weeks, how weird! Usually you just remember, "pregnant."

I have heard Clomid plays a huge factor in anxiety attacks and vivid dreams - which apparently you had the 2nd. And I figured, since it messes with our brain basically..it's normal! LOL. There is a dream dictionary which I go to at times - it's called dreammoods.com. I had the book as well from back when I was in HS, but I gave that away to a friend! I'm a firm believer in dreams most of the time, because they've proven itself somehow..

I should go now..Nighty night!

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Hey Amelia,

IUI is not covered and neither are fertility meds. I get away with coverage for clomid cause it's not only used for fertility. The IUI is a tax write off so it is good at that point of the year. It's $200 for the IUI (single) only $50 more for the 2nd one in the same cycle. The HCG shot was $94, hence the 300 this cycle. Most companies here do not have coverage for fertility treatments, or if they do it's only partial. You could always pay for extra insurance, but our coverage is great for everything else, and the extra cost is a lot.

I'm so sorry you feel your out this cycle I was hoping we'd both get good news this time around. So Wednesday is the appointment, it's getting so close. As for what would be cycle day one it's first day of full on red flow, so I think your safe too. I really hope you get some answers finally rather then just a 'take this and see' attitude. I'm praying for you too thank you kindly for that by the way it means a lot.
Our government healthcare systems covers all testing, surgery, lab etc.

Good for you on staying youthful. It was such an insult for that to happen the day after turning 30. At least my natural colour is ash blonde which kinda hides it in my roots. Can't imagine those with black hair! I hear more people get that skin pigment thing than you think. You make the third person who's told me they have a mild form of that. I have a rather large birthmark, round and about the size of our Canadian Loonie. I won't tell you where, but it's not somewhere the public views, that's for sure. Lol

So today is 7dpo so 11 would be Jan 26th. Not sure I can do it. I'm too scared. If I can't wait till AF then I will, but I think it'll be the 27th or 28th when i cave. Ya know when you want to know the answer but you don't want to face it until you have to? Plus last time I got a faint only the day before AF was due.

I am so jealous of the REAL coffee!!! I would kill for a Latté right about now! My green tea is not helping me. Today I feel like a puffball, so bloated, I mean I look 4-5 months pregnant bloated. Also some cramping, twinges. Nothing really out of the norm for me. That is nice you were able to get out and de-stress a bit. All this can start to combine you if your not careful. So you get to do work from home. I would have loved to, but I tried and the company was not interested. I worked for a call center and was the training coordinator/ head trainer responsible for Nation Safe Drivers. It's roadside assistance for Americans actually. Most of your insurance companies/motorclubs hired NSD to handle all roadside problems for their customers. Technically I could have scored agent calls from my computer part time, but they want to get out of the at home work, and would only accept full time from me. So I had to quit once my Mat leave (1 year) dried up.

So your the one hogging all the pregnancy dreams. Just kidding, but how weird. I always tend to have dreams, usually I wake up and remember 1 per night. Last night I remembered 4! It's probably the clomid.
So when my hormones don't cloud my judgement, yes, que sera sera, good code to live by. I just want this so badly and am sick of having a hard time having a baby. I mean, people accidently get preggers, but I can't after months, or years of trying, seems so unfair. Let's just wait and see, I know I'm going crazy inside, but I will survive!

DH went to play hockey, the baby is sound asleep. What to do with myself? I think a movie night in bed. Have you ever watched 'secondhand lions' before? If not get it for a family movie night. It's a really good story and suitable for kids.
Goodnight, sweet dreams, and thank you again for your kindness. There isn't enough people in the world who genuinely care anymore.
XO Shannon

 

[Hopeful42nd]

PS. I think both of us were meant to be writers! Look at the length of our posts

 

[Hopeful42nd]

So 8dpo now. Lower back pain this morning. Felt sick after eating my toast with cinnamon and honey. The queasy feeling has been coming and going in waves all day. I'm still all bloated and full feeling. Slight twinges, but nothing weird. Incredibly hot at times then cold at others, skin always hot to touch though. Not coming down with anything, feel pretty normal besides that. Hey but who's looking for signs anyways, just gotta wait patiently.

I think I may be asking too much of myself, I just want to know!
Anyways, thought I'd keep you filled in. Hope your day was filled with family love and joy!
Talk to you soon