TTC #4 after MC

[MommytoLBG]

I figured our chances were slim this month since we didn't bd as much as we should have esp when we should have. I was still scared once we were in the moment and hubbie didn't "leak" inside always. So...the times he did weren't enough. Right after the d&c I said we were waiting til October, so it does go with the original plan.

Yesterday was a tough day. Our 20 week u/s would have been yesterday so we would have seen the baby and we would know boy or girl....instead dealing with the reality of it all. I'll be okay. I just hope to be pregnant by should have been due date. Hopeful because my body is back to normal cycles. Off by a day but it's ok. Just will be bd every other day starting a few days from now until at least cd 15or 16.

How are you feeling?

 

[Kazy]

It seems like you have your mind in a good place. And that's good. Sounds like your original plan is in motion and that should help you be at peace I would think. Especially since you said earlier you were still a bit nervous. And yeah for back to normal. That in and of itself is a comforting thing.
I am feeling ok. I was feeling really confident at first and now it comes and goes. I'm scared I'll go through another loss. I know now it won't kill me but honestly the thought of it brings me to tears. I have an early scan on the 24th. I am really excited and nervous. I think I'll most likely cry no matter what in the ultrasound room. MS symptoms are full force but I think the progesterone increases that.

 

[Kazy]

Just read that yesterday would have been your gender scan. Lots of hugs to you. I know the milestone days are the hardest and can feel so lonely. Thinking about you and sending you lots more hugs!

 

[sweetmere]

Sorry girl. No AF yet for me but should be here soon. Negative test today at 10dpo. Here's to next month for both of us.

 

[MommytoLBG]

Thanks girls.

Sweet ~ on to next month. we are only a few days off with our cycles. hoping next month for us both!

 

[Kazy]

Good morning ladies! Just checking to see how you are doing.

 

[sweetmere]

Okay I guess. Having mostly bad days and feeling really worn down. How are you?

 

[MommytoLBG]

Today is a good day, yesterday and the day before were up and down. I know a lot of it has to do with cycle hormones, but at the same time, I am just sad. And scared. The more time that goes by, the more anxiety I have.

 

[Kazy]

Sweet - I'm so sorry to hear your days are not so good. It takes time for the heart to heal and our physical bodies take the brunt of it. Hope you are giving yourself time to grieve.
Mommy- that's how I think this process goes. Bad days mixed with some good ones. It's difficult to grieve this kind of loss. In some ways I feel like I should be over it and move on but it's just not possible.

Praying you both find peace in the midst of all this. One day at a time. When we first found out about our loss a close family member said "don't edit the emotions. Grieve as you need." I have found that really helpful. If I have a bad day I just let myself work through the emotions. I naturally feel guilty for things like thAt and am really trying to work on that.
I am feeling horrible today. I am increasingly ore scared for my US Wednesday. I'm terrified something could go wrong again. Doing my best to trust God and take it one day at a time. I find if I so thT it's better.

Oh...... and not trying to "know it all" or preach. Just hoping to encourage as I know you guys have done for me.

 

[MommytoLBG]

Thank you so much Kazy for your kind words. They are very encouraging for me. I have hope that all will be ok. Like you, i believe God will help us through. I have to remember that saying...don't edit the emotions. It's perfect. Thank you

Prayers are with you for your u/s. From everything I have read from others, it is normal to feel scared after a loss. Have faith and trust in God. Easier said than done sometimes but that is what makes us human.

 

[Kazy]

Hey ladies. I had my US today. And we got the surprise of our life. We are expecting twins!

 

[sweetmere]

Whoa!!! Really? That's awesome! Congratulations!!

 

[MommytoLBG]

Omgoodness! Congrats!!! One is your angel and one is your rainbow Kazy. I read that on here. One lady said she was told with her multiple miscarriages that it is still the same baby just isn't ready yet for the world. That her/his job is not done in heaven. So when you have an angel, then get a rainbow, it was always the same baby. So you are getting your angel and are adding another! 2 rainbows!!

 

[Kazy]

Thanks ladies!

How are you guys doing?

 

[sweetmere]

I'm OK I guess. Cd13 and opk is still really negative. Finally darkening again but extremely slow.

 

[MommytoLBG]

Hi sweet just checking in on you.

Kazy how are you feeling?

afm...just waiting.

 

[sweetmere]

I'm doing okay. Not sure if I'm 3, 4, or 5dpo as a lot of my temperatures before ovulation were like post-ovulation temps this month! I always have a slow rise so I'm inclined to say 5dpo, and FF agrees, but I just hate saying that for sure since they're like my pre-ovulatory temps.

I'll probably start testing Friday.

 

[Kazy]

Hi ladies. I am feeling ok. I've been incredibly nauseated but getting through it.
Sweet- your chart looks really good. I have had some pre o temps that looked like yours too. I'm not sure why sometimes they change like that but it shows you definitely did O.
Mommy-how many dpo are you?

 

[MommytoLBG]

Sweet ~ fx for you.

Kazy ~ hope you're feeling better, but ms can be brutal...

afm, af should be here today.

 

[Kazy]

Thank you.

We're you guys trying this month? Or still giving it some time?