TTC #4 after MC

[Kazy]

Okay so I just talk to a friend of mine at church who used to be an OB nurse. She was explaining to me that sometimes when there's a miscarriage the following few cycles you have extra lining in the uterus and so you spot in between cycles. That combined with hormones being crazy equals crazy cycles. So totally normal and doesn't mean anything is wrong.
Anyway I know it's not really any new information but made me feel little more at peace. So I thought I'd pass that on

 

[MommytoLBG]

Thank you. It's not new info per se...but it's nice to hear it from a different source than google or our own ob nurses/drs. Lol. I said to my hubby the other day that maybe our dr was just being nice instead of telling the hard truth. Such paranoia. So thank you for passing it on! Any little bit helps.

How are you feeling?

 

[Kazy]

I'm feeling pretty good. Had a lot of spotting today. But now it's slowing down again. My temps are really low. Today was 96.9. I never had temps that low when I charted earlier this year. But I only charted like 2 months I think?? So I don't know a normal for that. I'm feeling pretty good other than that though. Emotionally doing on for now. I still have sad moments from the miscarriage. But I think that's to be expected.
How about you?

 

[MommytoLBG]

Crazy question but what do low temps mean? You were cd 1 July 25th?

Me too...today was one of those days...just kind of a down mood all day. Took the kids to the park and the library then for ice cream, but just kind of an overall bummed mood. Part of me is kicking myself for not trying is cycle...but the other part knows I just wasn't ready.

 

[Kazy]

Low temps just reveal hormones. All I know is first half of your cycles temps are low. Them after O progesterone kicks in and you have a rise in temp by at least .4 degrees. Temping doesn't predict O it only tells you after. That's the reason I'm doing it this month. One to see if I do O. And two so I know when to expect AF. So it really doesn't add much stress because it doesn't help with timing. Yes CD 1 was July 25th so today is CD 13 I think? So it's really normal for them to still be low. But that is really low for me. I've never had below 97. So I'm wondering what will happen with my temps the rest of the week.
Don't kick yourself for not trying. One thing I remember from trying for 7 months before I got pregnant last time is that a cycle really does go by quickly. So taking some time to heal when you know you need to will allow for more joy and peace during your next pregnancy. It WILL happen.
I think the hardest part for me is when I reach certain milestones. Or think about them. Like I would have been x amount of weeks or whatever. I get sad when I think about Christmas because I would have been just a few weeks from being due.
I try to keep reminding myself that it WILL happen and that it probably won't be forever. My body (and yours) like you said can carry a baby. And that is a comfort.

 

[Kazy]

Also I temp because OPKs can say you are gearing up to O but can't say for sure that you will. My understanding is your temp won't rise if you haven't O

 

[MommytoLBG]

Oh okay. That makes complete sense now. I knew a rise meant something (O) but I didn't know what low temps meant. Thanks!

TTC is so complicated. I definitely have a new perspective and complete new understanding of how hard it is for some to conceive. My co-worker and his wife have been trying for 6 years. They have decided to take a break. The thing is...neither one has any issue. Drs. can't figure out why they can't conceive.

That is the hardest for me too. Every Monday I am like today would be X weeks. Baby would be doing this, etc...15 weeks this past monday. Would I be feeling tiny flutters of movement now? I find comfort in knowing that I (we) will have a baby in our arms. I am hoping to be pregnant by our what would have been due date. And that is what keeps me going. Knowing that I (you too) can get pregnant. We know we can...and it will happen again soon.

 

[Kazy]

Thank you as always for the encouragement. Im so grateful that I am not alone.

I had no idea how difficult TTC was either until this past year. And I don't even know the half of it. My sister had multiple miscarriages before she had any kids and now has 3 beautiful children.

My weeks were on Mondays too! So Mondays are always difficult for me. And I really don't think that getting pregnant again will totally take that away. That's another thing that reminds me to be patient. It's a loss and I cant grieve in a healthy way without time.

 

[MommytoLBG]

You're welcome. The feelings are mutual. having someone who understands helps so much. I know our hubbies are affected by our losses but I know mine deals in a much different way.

I don't believe that either. There will always be an ache where that loss is. They were still our babies and nothing will take that pain away. Time will help us heal but...it will always be there.

One of my fears lately? I read so many stories about losing babies later in the pregnancy. We saw our little peanut but never heard a hb, never felt a flutter. If it had to happen, I am thankful it happened the way it did. So my fear is every ache, every pain, every day waiting, every appt having the worry of losing the baby. I know what is meant to be is what is meant to be, but a fear is a fear. And at the same time, I plan to enjoy EVERY moment of this next pregnancy. Not take one day for granted.

 

[Kazy]

I've thought of that too. My mother in law lost her first baby less than 24 hours after he was born and they didn't even know anything was wrong. One thing I remind myself if when that fear comes is that's actually true about my living children too. May not sound like a comfort but they are healthy and living well but just as vulnerable as new life. All life is in God's hands.
One day at a time I guess.

Do your kids start school soon?

 

[sweetmere]

Hi ladies, MommytoLBG invited me over! My story:

I actually only have one sunshine. She is 16.5 months old. We started actively trying for her (opk's and temping) in January of 2012 and got our bfp in July of 2012. We had a fairly uneventful pregnancy with her...morning sickness from 4 to 32 weeks, and maternal hydronephrosis mid-second trimester. She was due March 13 and I was induced, she was born March 20. I didn't have a good birth experience. Long story short, I only remember about 5% of my labor AND the days after it. I also had a c-section that I feel was not necessary, but of course I can't say 100% for sure since I don't remember details of it. I am pretty sure it could have been prevented though.

We started TTC #2 in April of this year. We got our bfp at the end of June. I knew something was wrong. It didn't feel right, and no symptoms...however, I still bonded with the baby and suspected that it was a boy. I named him Sunny. I started bleeding Thursday, July 17 at 5w6d and the next day they confirmed that it was a miscarriage. I bled Thursday, Friday, and VERY heavily Saturday and Sunday, passing clots and tissue. I continued to bleed heavier than a period Monday through Friday and had painful contractions as well. Finally the following week on Saturday I woke up spotting and only spotted for two days.

HCG on July 18 was 3200, July 21 it was 1400ish, and then July 29 it was 38. I tested negative finally on a pregnancy test August 2nd I believe. My OB said that as soon as I test negative, I can try again.

I keep going back and forth on whether I want to try again now, before AF, or after AF. I am scared of it happening again, but I really just want to try again.

 

[MommytoLBG]

Kazy ~ It is a comfort. Once you see that very first bfp you are forever changed. We begin worrying from that moment on. And it never goes away. I worry like crazy about my 3 babies all the time. Every stage comes new worry but also lots of joy. So it is completely worth it to me.

They go back in two weeks. Are either of your older two in school yet?

 

[MommytoLBG]

Sweetmere ~ like I said in the other thread I am so sorry for your loss. No words can express the pain of loss. It's something you deal with everyday. Some days are worse than others. Milestones make it fresh again. But you do go on. I can't imagine going thru it without my other kiddos. They have helped me so much and they don't even realize it. Losing the baby made me enjoy my 3 blessings more and not take anything for granted.

We were able to conceive so easily with all 3 so this time we expected the same. When we went to that u/s and saw our baby we knew something was wrong. Dr didn't need to tell us what we already knew. So we were arrogant and naive about pregnancy. Then we were left devastated.

The first few days all I did was cry. We had the d&c on my 38th birthday. It was a very bittersweet moment. But as sad as that sounds it meant something to me. My angel and I share a special day.

Goodness...I am sorry. I am crying now while I type this. But it feels good to share with ones who can understand.

Thank you girls

 

[Kazy]

Welcome Sweetmere! I am so sorry for your loss. You are in company who has experienced similar pain. I completely understand not knowing when is a good time to try again. Actually we've talked about that on here a few times. I found out our baby had no heartbeat at 10 weeks on our 9th anniversary June 11th. I was completely shocked and actually had bought a ton of maternity clothes on my way to my ultrasound. I didn't naturally miscarry until the 16th.

I am again so sorry for your loss. Hopefully we can continue to support each other here. I hope we can all be bump buddies together too.

This week has been a little bit of a roller coaster for me. I'm still spotting (since Monday) and its officially CD14. So I have a feeling I may be out for trying this month. And oddly enough I am a little ok with that. The weird part about the spotting is that it comes and goes. Sometimes heavier and other times not there. So who knows? Just waiting for that to stop.

 

[Kazy]

And just a random question......at what point do I consider my bleeding as another cycle and CD1??? I haven't had period type bleeding but it has last for so long that I am wondering. Any thoughts on that?

 

[sweetmere]

Sweetmere ~ like I said in the other thread I am so sorry for your loss. No words can express the pain of loss. It's something you deal with everyday. Some days are worse than others. Milestones make it fresh again. But you do go on. I can't imagine going thru it without my other kiddos. They have helped me so much and they don't even realize it. Losing the baby made me enjoy my 3 blessings more and not take anything for granted.

We were able to conceive so easily with all 3 so this time we expected the same. When we went to that u/s and saw our baby we knew something was wrong. Dr didn't need to tell us what we already knew. So we were arrogant and naive about pregnancy. Then we were left devastated.

The first few days all I did was cry. We had the d&c on my 38th birthday. It was a very bittersweet moment. But as sad as that sounds it meant something to me. My angel and I share a special day.

Goodness...I am sorry. I am crying now while I type this. But it feels good to share with ones who can understand.

Thank you girls

On your birthday? that's awful. I'm so sorry!!! That had to have been hard.

This angel had the same EDD that my daughter did so even though it felt wrong, it felt "meant to be". Since Audrey's birth was so rough, it will be a weird time of year from now on. Happy because I have a baby whose birthday is then, sad because I don't have another who should have a birthday then.

But I'll make it.

Kazy, I too started doing stuff before I miscarried. We had started cleaning out the extra bedroom for the nursery, I had collected a few things here and there as well. I was all excited to wear the same wardrobe again I did with my daughter, even bought another cute long-sleeved shirt and now I probably need an entire different season! Ugh!

 

[sweetmere]

Oh, and I don't know about the spotting? If it has been continuous I would just say it's the same cycle. Maybe weird hormones causing breakthrough bleeding? :/ if it lasts much longer I would call your doctor and just mention it.

Oh and we got a positive/near-positive opk today & also baby danced. We decided to try this month. I'm nervous. Picking up some baby aspirin tomorrow to start taking, and praying for the best.

 

[MommytoLBG]

Hi girls!

Kazy ~ That is exactly how my first cycle was...Remember I asked if spotting this long was normal. CD1 for me was July 22 (22 days after D&C) and right on time based on pre mc cycle. Not sure if I gave the details? CD1 light, but still period like. CD2 very heavy. CD3 light again. CD4 VERY light. CD5 and 6 nothing. Then had a gush of bright red blood evening CD7 followed by spotting until CD11. Nothing since then. Then had positive opks CD12 and 13, then less light (negative?) opk on CD14 (which is the day I usually Od in the past). Oh and i had stopped spotting from D&C after 12 days, then had 10 days nothing before "AF" came. So dr said that it probably was my first cycle. And she also told me that spotting or random bleeding is normal until our bodies get back to normal.

Your first cycle started July 25? When did the bleeding for that stop? CD 15 today technically for you, but you started spotting monday which was CD11 right? Oh this is so complicated. Doesn't seem like enough days went by to have cycle 2?? But who knows with our crazy hormones! Your temps are still low?

Also remember what the lady at church said...so many different types of normal...

Sweetmere ~ hopefully you get your bfp this month! That is so exciting!!

Also, we had the same feeling. This was a surprise for us because we were actually deciding on whether to add a 4th blessing to our family. So when I was late and then got the + hpt, I was like this is our answer! Then to find out a month later that our baby was taken from us...So we will each have times throughout the year that marks "milestones" and they will be tough, but yes we will make it thtough. We have our blessings to help us.

Question for you...does baby aspirin really help? i have read bits and pieces about it. and have seen other women take it. what is the benefit of it for you specifically?

 

[MommytoLBG]

Oh...we also started to do a few things when we found out too. The first weekend after we got our bfp, our 15 year anniversary, we went to Inner Harbor and I bought maternity clothes. I also ordered a few little onesies on Etsy. The morning of our u/s I was researching ways to announce a 4th. I started pinning baby things on pinterest (a secret board of course). Hubbie and I also looked at a mini van.

 

[Kazy]

Let's see if I can remember this. Cd1 was July 25. Had a Wally heavy period but stopped by CD5 (normal for me). Very light spotting started on CD 11. Then every day since then is sometimes barely noticeable and sometimes enough for a panty liner (sorry if tmi).

After listing all that out it seems that there is no way that's a period. and temps are still low. I didn't always track before but based on my body I am pretty confident I usually ovulate later like sometimes as late as CD18. So I'll just keep temping and see if i do ovulate.
I have my annual exam in September. So I can always talk to her about that if weird stuff is going on. I was really hoping this wasn't a period because that would put AF due the week we are going on vacation! And I don't care about the physical part of that so much as I don't want to be bummed on vacation about not being pregnant if it doesn't happen this month!

My two younger are going into kindergarten and 1st grade. They start in two weeks too. Im really going to miss them. I like having them home during the summer.