TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[samiam]

Unfortunately I don't think ziggy will be joining us this cycle, temp nose dived again this morning after looking so promising

NOOOOOOOOOO. Maybe it's implantation dip!

 

[Miss_C]

Unfortunately I don't think ziggy will be joining us this cycle, temp nose dived again this morning after looking so promising

NOOOOOOOOOO. Maybe it's implantation dip!

naaaaaawww love your PMA - maybe I am having triplets and the 3 massive plummets on my chart are each one taking their turn!!

CP feels lower today so I really think we are all over this month. Ah well big bottle of red with my name on it somewhere for Tuesday then

 

[Spoomie]

Hi ladies. Thanks for all your concern and good wishes, I'm doing ok.....I love you all so much for caring. I haven't been ignoring you all, been on hols in Devon with my family this week and internet access was 'rural' so I haven't been online, and before that I was just laying low for a while. Miss_C and Samian, thanks for your messages and I think of you both as my twinnies, guess that would make us triplets Much as I value you, I wish so badly that we were all three heavily pregnant now, as we should've been, and had never met each other.

To you all, our comments when I was so low last month really helped me through, I went back to your posts many times to read them in an attempt to try to make sense of my sadness and to find a way forward with the family I already have. There were so many wise and considered pieces of advice. The idea that my baby is still waiting to complete his/her journey to meet me has helped more than I can put in to words. As you know I was devastated when AF showed in early April as my chart had looked triphasic and promising. It hit incredibly hard as I'd got my hopes up (foolish girl) and my due date is looming large, a really big obstacle for me. Well, this cycle has been weird as it turned out to be only 18 days long, when I am a regular 26-28 day woman. It seems I ovulated on cd7, though my good friend FF never gave me coverline and crosshairs as I wasn't temping consistently during AF, and CBFM gave me about 100 days of low readings as I didn't start until after my bizarre early ovulation (and yes, I DID throw a bit more of our money at buying more test sticks from bloody rip off Boots, just in case, so that comment made me smile!) So, I'll never know for sure. I'd value your opinions nonetheless, but I am now pretty sure that my triphasic chart in March must've been the beginnings of a pregnancy, giving me such an uncharacteristic subsequent cycle with super early ovulation and short luteal phase (possibly being down to hormones out of sync as a result of miscarrying within days of implantation???) Never took a pregnancy test so can't say for sure, not that it really matters, I guess. It would just give me some comfort to know that my body is trying I suppose. The only good things to come out of it were that, one, I switched off my OCD tendencies a little, knowing that I didn't stand a chance of being pregnant as we didn't bd early enough (wow, it felt soooo good Glowstar!) and two, I have been running more consistently which you know I love. My fixation with my lost baby's due date seems to be lifting a little too; I think I felt almost relieved that I was out this past cycle as it meant there was no chance of me being pregnant by my due date in early June. That surprised me as I know I will still be an absolute mess on that day but the burden of obsessing about being pregnant by then has been a heavy one to carry and I can now see that it will be a blessing to be able to move past it. The double edged sword of my short cycle in April means I still have one last chance to achieve it though..........

I think I'm back in the land of ttc over 40s and I hope you welcome me back like the prodigal son returning home To reiterate: I love you

Spoomie xxxxxxxxxxx

Pip, glad your news was happy news.

 

[Shelley71]

Aww, Spoomie, you're always welcome here, but I really hope you won't need us very soon!

 

[pip7890]

So good to see you Spoomie

Miss C - nooooooooooo!

Pip x

 

[Desperado167]

Hi spoomie,am so glad u are back Hun,we all missed you,Xxxx

 

[DebM]

Hello

It's brilliant to have found this site with a specific age related forum...it's so much more reassuring reading about BFP's of ladies of a similar age to me
A little about me and mine...

Me: 41 DH: 39 no children (Yet!!) I had a sterilisation reversal on 12th April this year and my consultant said to start trying straight away

AF is due 3rd May and my body has been doing everything it can to convince me that I’m going to get a BFP trying not to stress about it and trying not to test

Deb xx

 

[pip7890]

Welcome Deb!

Pip x

 

[samiam]

Welcome Deb! Don't stress. Stress is the enemy.

 

[Glowstar]

Hi Deb

Welcome back Spoomie....into the open arms of your TTC +40 sisters
You really sound much more positive...which is only a good thing right! I suppose what we REALLY all want is someone to just tell you 100% it will happen, and WHEN, how fantastic would that be! if someone told me it would happen in October, I would be happy with that, it's the not knowing that's the really killer every month!

Miss C - don't give up yet, it's early for a pre-af dip for you, still holding out hope.

AFM - FF is telling me my temps are erratic so looks like the thermo is going up the snatch next cycle Somehow get the feeling this isn't going to be my turn...don't know why, maybe the cramps I am having today, the usual TWW cramps I ALWAYS get!! was kind of hoping to feel nada, nothing, zilch! The only miniscule ray of weird hope I had was the excitement of having a 50 pence size blob of sticky CM in my knickers I think this TTC stuff is tipping me over the edge

 

[Spoomie]

Hi Deb

Welcome back Spoomie....into the open arms of your TTC +40 sisters
You really sound much more positive...which is only a good thing right! I suppose what we REALLY all want is someone to just tell you 100% it will happen, and WHEN, how fantastic would that be! if someone told me it would happen in October, I would be happy with that, it's the not knowing that's the really killer every month!

Miss C - don't give up yet, it's early for a pre-af dip for you, still holding out hope.

AFM - FF is telling me my temps are erratic so looks like the thermo is going up the snatch next cycle Somehow get the feeling this isn't going to be my turn...don't know why, maybe the cramps I am having today, the usual TWW cramps I ALWAYS get!! was kind of hoping to feel nada, nothing, zilch! The only miniscule ray of weird hope I had was the excitement of having a 50 pence size blob of sticky CM in my knickers I think this TTC stuff is tipping me over the edge

Hi again Glowstar

That's exactly what I want! How cool would that be?! Someone tells you it will be another 9 months and you'll be pregnant, even those 9 months would be bearable. But yes, you are right; I do feel a tiny weeny bit more positive, not sure why, maybe not even positive, but more que sera about it. I've finally grasped that worrying and making myself miserable is not going to make it happen and could even have an adverse effect so I am TRYING to carry on with life instead of living in my bubble of sadness and loss, that won't make me pregnant and it won't bring my baby back. Sorry you think you're out, life's a bugger We sound similar, a hint of EWCM around cd12 or 13 sends me into orbit with sheer joy! Stuff you never even noticed about your body before ttc

Spoomie xxx

 

[Jax41]

Morning all, glad it's not raining for the wedding! Bet they'll be sprogging and giving us a BFP within a few months!

The same thought has also crossed my mind Reb S.......

 

[Miss_C]

SSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE !! HEY HONEY, SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU!

mornin all, well after last nights Little jaunt through the ff charts seeing bfps after big temp drops and hope that I could still not get the wine tomorrow, I would lay everything I own on witch arriving tomorrow. All my charts show the drop and then a little kick day after and then witch, identical chart today!! ah well, first of my psychic predictors is wrong, will be sending her an e mail to say WRONG!!! (jenny renny) Next one says August for conceive or find out. (Cheri)

The sad thing is if we hadn't had ziggy we would be giving up after tomorrow cos I had originally said we'll give it until my 43rd birthday and then call it a day, I am now feeling like it may all be over and that I really am too old. Probably just witchy hormones taking but feel really down in the dumps today. Then I think reaistically we got ziggy quite quickly last time all things considered despite coming off the pill at christmas everything got stalled when I had the cancer scare and the lletz surgery so we "really" started trying in June missed amonth cos we were fighting! and then fell in November so that's really only 5 tries and if the other psychic lady is right which is the one I was originally referred to by a friend August would make it 5 months again. Oh gosh isn't it ridiculous where we can make the thinnest of hopes sound good!

sorry for the me me me post.

 

[Spoomie]

SSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE !! HEY HONEY, SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU!

mornin all, well after last nights Little jaunt through the ff charts seeing bfps after big temp drops and hope that I could still not get the wine tomorrow, I would lay everything I own on witch arriving tomorrow. All my charts show the drop and then a little rise day after and then witch, identical chart today!! ah well, first of my psychic predictors is wrong, will be sending her an e mail to say WRONG!!! (jenny renny) Next one says August for conceive or find out. (Cheri)

The sad thing is if we hadn't had ziggy we would be giving up after tomorrow cos I had originally said we'll give it until my 43rd birthday and then call it a day, I am now feeling like it may all be over and that I really am too old. Probably just witchy hormones taking but feel really down in the dumps today. Then I think reaistically we got ziggy quite quickly last time all things considered despite coming off the pill at christmas everything got stalled when I had the cancer scare and the lletz surgery so we "really" started trying in June missed amonth cos we were fighting! and then fell in November so that's really only 5 tries and if the other psychic lady is right which is the one I was originally referred to by a friend August would make it 5 months again. Oh gosh isn't it ridiculous where we can make the thinnest of hopes sound good!

sorry for the me me me post.

YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD!!!!!! Just move the date forward, no one will know but you and chances are you wouldn't rreeeaallly have given up after you turned 43 anyway Keep focusing on your pregnancy with Ziggy and how quickly you fell pregnant and how far you got (double edged painful sword I know) and remind yourself that you would've been 43 when he arrived anyway, and you will be 43 when he gets here on his next try. Twinny, as you know, I conceived at 42 and would've been 43 when my baby came; I can't deny it was hard turning 43 in March as I felt I should've been 43 and gloriously pregnant, not 43 and feeling sad and empty. If I am truthful I felt quite young before the mc and as though I had defied the odds, coping quite well with the demands of having a busy toddler at my age, but since it I have felt old. Do you feel like that? I am certain it is just depression causing that, 5 months (me)/3 months (you) cannot make that much difference for either of us, we are not exactly pensioners yet! Re: your FF search: been there, done that, overlaid the chart. In truth, it is only adding to our torment, although I know I'll probably do it again in the next 2WW if conditions give rise to my OCD tendencies coming to the fore. Right now i have all the best of intentions to stay strong and this month feels like I might manage it a bit more successfully, feeling a bit stronger and have even had a couple of glasses of wine since I got my period in an attempt to stop living as though I'm still pregnant!

I really hope you can enjoy your birthday and spend it laughing with your beautiful family. Shed a tear for Ziggy, tell him you'll see him soon and then get on and eat cake with Jake Happy birthday Twinny, I'm going to drink to you tomorrow and to siblings for both of our boys before we turn 44

Lots of love

Spoomie xxxxxxx

 

[Miss_C]

ahh spoomie you wonderful wonderful lady! I am sobbing my eyes out, that was so beautiful and so so so so very appy to see you looking so up from before. Yup since losing ziggy I do feel I am too old and only had the one shot at defying the odds. Jake was against all of the odds being 40 and on the pill etc. I just feel like i have used up all my luck with Jake.

oh sh!t I am NOT going to wallow. I'm gonna go bake cakes!! Jake loves sifting the floor and licking the spoon!

 

[samiam]

ahh spoomie you wonderful wonderful lady! I am sobbing my eyes out, that was so beautiful and so so so so very appy to see you looking so up from before. Yup since losing ziggy I do feel I am too old and only had the one shot at defying the odds. Jake was against all of the odds being 40 and on the pill etc. I just feel like i have used up all my luck with Jake.

oh sh!t I am NOT going to wallow. I'm gonna go bake cakes!! Jake loves sifting the floor and licking the spoon!

Spoomie and Miss C. NO MORE TALK ABOUT BEING OLD! You're younger than I am (I am ALREADY 43!) and I don't even have one baby yet. And so, come on. You girls are going to get pregnant here soon. I just know it. I can feel Ziggy and your baby, Spoomie; they are just waiting for the perfect time to come back to you.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling as if the odds are not on our side. But that sort of thinking will not help us. We are strong, healthy, fit, fantastic fucking women. And we WILL have a baby.

Enjoy your birthday, Miss C. Laugh and play and eat cake and drink some champagne and celebrate how wonderful you are!

I wish we all could go out for a night on the town, some laughs and a few drinks

 

[Glowstar]

Miss C, Spoomie and Sam......YOU WILL GET PREGNANT! and what's all this talk about being old? WTF! I don't feel old and I think I look freakin' awesome for my age and I bet you all do to The thing is, you have all been pregnant your bodies CAN and WILL do it again.

Miss C, I had a reading off Jenny (wrong!) had one off Cheri and she said March birth month, BFP or conception....well I am heading to birth month now....2 more I had after that all said June conception, March birth month...they ALL said boy!

I don't see you as out either....you chart is more erratic than last cycle...more hormones and at this DPO compared to your November cycle you had missing temps Have a fabulous birthday...much love to you and if the does by any chance arrive kick her up the arse with your fab sense of humour

 

[Spoomie]

ahh spoomie you wonderful wonderful lady! I am sobbing my eyes out, that was so beautiful and so so so so very appy to see you looking so up from before. Yup since losing ziggy I do feel I am too old and only had the one shot at defying the odds. Jake was against all of the odds being 40 and on the pill etc. I just feel like i have used up all my luck with Jake.

oh sh!t I am NOT going to wallow. I'm gonna go bake cakes!! Jake loves sifting the floor and licking the spoon!

I know exactly what you mean about the lost baby being your last chance to defy the odds and using up all our luck. That's exactly how I feel too. In truth that's rubbish though, we have LOADS of eggs left yet!! Banana or chocolate cake for me please xx

 

[Spoomie]

Miss C, Spoomie and Sam......YOU WILL GET PREGNANT! and what's all this talk about being old? WTF! I don't feel old and I think I look freakin' awesome for my age and I bet you all do to The thing is, you have all been pregnant your bodies CAN and WILL do it again.

I bet you do look awesome for your age, I think I probably do too compared to the majority of women our age, as long as I don't smile too broadly and show up all my crow's feet/laughter lines!!! I credit mine to years of running, though since my pregnancy/mc I haven't run till quite recently and it's alarming how quickly the rot sets in. Getting fit is far harder than staying fit, lesson learned for me! What's your secret Glowstar?

 

[Spoomie]

Spoomie and Miss C. NO MORE TALK ABOUT BEING OLD! You're younger than I am (I am ALREADY 43!) and I don't even have one baby yet. And so, come on. You girls are going to get pregnant here soon. I just know it. I can feel Ziggy and your baby, Spoomie; they are just waiting for the perfect time to come back to you.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling as if the odds are not on our side. But that sort of thinking will not help us. We are strong, healthy, fit, fantastic fucking women. And we WILL have a baby.

Enjoy your birthday, Miss C. Laugh and play and eat cake and drink some champagne and celebrate how wonderful you are!

I wish we all could go out for a night on the town, some laughs and a few drinks

You will get your baby Sam. S/he's just around the corner I'm sure. Concentrate on the fact that your body knows how to do it and will do it again. I know that there is still time for us all, it is just difficult to stay upbeat about it sometimes. We need to keep running our bodies young and fool them into getting pregnant

How amazing if we could go out for a drink together, Miss_C's bringing the cake