TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[samiam]

Spoomie: Nice looking LP! I hope that you found some peace at the counseling session today.

Glowie: I've already said it, but hang in there. I won't say that I'm sorry because I think you still have a fighting chance. Be good to yourself and breathe. Sticky

 

[Glowstar]

Well ladies that's the bleeding well and truly started now hopefully it won't be too bad and I can get through the next few days and try and prepare to go on holiday on the 27th.
I certainly won't be waiting the 'recommended' 3 months to try again. This has just been a nightmare of a week and I feel a bit relieved that I am getting an answer now after days of hoping that it would be OK.
I am devastated but strong and I know I can get pregnant at my age and it will happen again.
Thanks for all your kind words and support, it's meant alot

 

[LLbean]

Well ladies that's the bleeding well and truly started now hopefully it won't be too bad and I can get through the next few days and try and prepare to go on holiday on the 27th.
I certainly won't be waiting the 'recommended' 3 months to try again. This has just been a nightmare of a week and I feel a bit relieved that I am getting an answer now after days of hoping that it would be OK.
I am devastated but strong and I know I can get pregnant at my age and it will happen again.
Thanks for all your kind words and support, it's meant alot

Oh no Glowie!!!! I am so sorry! I really had high hopes for you

 

[Desperado167]

Well ladies that's the bleeding well and truly started now hopefully it won't be too bad and I can get through the next few days and try and prepare to go on holiday on the 27th.
I certainly won't be waiting the 'recommended' 3 months to try again. This has just been a nightmare of a week and I feel a bit relieved that I am getting an answer now after days of hoping that it would be OK.
I am devastated but strong and I know I can get pregnant at my age and it will happen again.
Thanks for all your kind words and support, it's meant alot

I really am truly sorry,u are an amazing strong person and I wish u all the best in the world,u truly are an inspiration for us ladies,be kind to yourself Hun and take care,always here for u ,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Reb S]

Glowie, I'm so sorry. BOLLOCKS. Take good care of yourself, you sound strong and fiesty. Give yourself time to grieve, but forget the 3 months - that's only so they can date the pregnancy. There's evidence that we are MORE fertile after a MC. Thinking deeply of you this evening xx

 

[mrsdh]

I'm so so sorry glowie

 

[pip7890]

I am so sorry Glowie. Sending you lots of hugs.

Pip x

 

[Nise]

Glowie I'm so sorry to hear your news. I wish you and your OH much strength during this hard time.

 

[Spoomie]

Well ladies that's the bleeding well and truly started now hopefully it won't be too bad and I can get through the next few days and try and prepare to go on holiday on the 27th.
I certainly won't be waiting the 'recommended' 3 months to try again. This has just been a nightmare of a week and I feel a bit relieved that I am getting an answer now after days of hoping that it would be OK.
I am devastated but strong and I know I can get pregnant at my age and it will happen again.
Thanks for all your kind words and support, it's meant alot

Glowie

You are so much in everyone's heart, I hope that gives you some comfort and strength. I feel ashamed for being so sorry for myself and for you giving me positive feedback when you are in the midst of this nightmare. You are so strong and you WILL prevail. I try to remember that I have been pregnant fairly recently and I will do it again - I often doubt myself but I know that you will remain steadfast, positive and focused. Although this is an incredibly sad and painful time, when you finally achieve your goal and see it to fruition, it will be so wonderful that this pain will fade and will be dwarfed by your joy.

 

[Glowstar]

Thanks guys I am obviously upset and keep bursting into random tears but I feel that if this was meant to happen it would have...ie; something is not quite right...I have to believe that as it makes me feel better.
Bleeding stopped again and back to brown spotting, no more cramps....this is the part I am hating right now.....if it's going to start properly, just start already while OH is here and I'm not stuck in the house on my own tomorrow

 

[Spoomie]

Spoomie: Nice looking LP! I hope that you found some peace at the counseling session today.

Thanks Sam. I managed to engineer a fight with DH before I went, just to add to the poor counsellor's uphill battle today! She coped admirably and identified that my 'inner critic' uses incredibly negative language and has a booming voice! She tried to dissuade me from referring to my 'failures' and to try to think of myself as having been hopeful and then disappointed, not having failed. Her biggest impression on me today was encouragement to live in the moment; that is alien and difficult for a person who likes order and control in their environment! She said that the future is too big for me to focus on right now, ie, what happens if I never get pregnant again, or get pregnant and then add to my tally of losses.....and that instead I should try to get through/enjoy each day. So, even cd1 which is usually a nightmare day for me has been a good day with my DS, and I have been amazed by how much easier life feels when I don't allow myself headspace to panic about the future. It made me think back to your post about how much fun and laughter you and OH have had together recently and that can only be a good thing; either because it will help us in our quest for our much longed for babies or because we will learn to find joy in other areas of our lives. Win, win. If I had heard such talk before November 21st last year I would have dismissed it out of hand. Now, in the midst of a crisis of confidence, it has really really helped me. So, baby steps (what bitter irony there!) and I will try to focus on a day at a time and not dwell so much on where I am in my cycle. No doubt I will fail, except I now have to say, perhaps I will stumble somewhere along the way, I guess. And who knows, one day I may even end up as positive as you and Glowie

 

[ciarhwyfar]

I'm sorry to hear that, Glowie. I am glad that you have such a positive attitude about it though and hope to hear about the next BFP in no time.

 

[samiam]

Thanks guys I am obviously upset and keep bursting into random tears but I feel that if this was meant to happen it would have...ie; something is not quite right...I have to believe that as it makes me feel better.
Bleeding stopped again and back to brown spotting, no more cramps....this is the part I am hating right now.....if it's going to start properly, just start already while OH is here and I'm not stuck in the house on my own tomorrow

Oh Glowie. . . . I am broken hearted for you. I wish there were something I could say, but you are right that you need to hold on to the idea that something wasn't quite right. And the next one will be entirely right. Thinking of you.

 

[pip7890]

I wish there was something I could do to bring some extra sunshine into your lives. You are such a wonderful bunch of ladies and none of you deserve this crap.

All I can do is say that you are in my thoughts and if you need any arse kicking I'm your woman!!!



Pip x

 

[pip7890]

Duplicate post

 

[samiam]

Spoomie: Nice looking LP! I hope that you found some peace at the counseling session today.

Thanks Sam. I managed to engineer a fight with DH before I went, just to add to the poor counsellor's uphill battle today! She coped admirably and identified that my 'inner critic' uses incredibly negative language and has a booming voice! She tried to dissuade me from referring to my 'failures' and to try to think of myself as having been hopeful and then disappointed, not having failed. Her biggest impression on me today was encouragement to live in the moment; that is alien and difficult for a person who likes order and control in their environment! She said that the future is too big for me to focus on right now, ie, what happens if I never get pregnant again, or get pregnant and then add to my tally of losses.....and that instead I should try to get through/enjoy each day. So, even cd1 which is usually a nightmare day for me has been a good day with my DS, and I have been amazed by how much easier life feels when I don't allow myself headspace to panic about the future. It made me think back to your post about how much fun and laughter you and OH have had together recently and that can only be a good thing; either because it will help us in our quest for our much longed for babies or because we will learn to find joy in other areas of our lives. Win, win. If I had heard such talk before November 21st last year I would have dismissed it out of hand. Now, in the midst of a crisis of confidence, it has really really helped me. So, baby steps (what bitter irony there!) and I will try to focus on a day at a time and not dwell so much on where I am in my cycle. No doubt I will fail, except I now have to say, perhaps I will stumble somewhere along the way, I guess. And who knows, one day I may even end up as positive as you and Glowie

Spoomie: You sound brilliantly strong to me. And you do just need to give yourself a little wiggle room, I think. We ALL stumble. But those stumbles are not failures unless we give up, sit down and choose to view them as such. Picking yourself up from such a thing and moving forward day by day with courage and joy is succeeding. And, as well you know with running races, our bodies cannot be controlled entirely. You can train, eat all of the right things, rest, etc. and still bonk. Is that a failure? Depends on if you hated the entire journey of getting to that race. Was the training horrible? Did you hate it all? Then maybe you shouldn't have been doing it. But if not, and mostly the answer is "not," then you succeeded in living your life fully and loudly and with animal gusto. Right? And what does one learn from stumbling or taking baby steps (I do love that irony)? Loads. If we never stumble, we will just continue doing the same things over and over again, we'll get old and we won't learn a thing. Now. So. You tell that inner critic of yours to shut the f up already. You are a lovely, strong, vibrant, athletic woman with a lot of life and laughter ahead of you. And I have a PhD so I can be bossy and tell you that those are the facts, missy!

 

[Spoomie]

Sam, thanks so much for all your lovely words. I am pretty dam bossy myself, but I know when I'm being told, and I'm being told! I love, love, love the fact that, through this whole ghastly experience, I have met such an amazing bunch of ladies. I'd rather I didn't know any of you and that you had never found your ways either here, but we are where we are and this thread/group/discussion (whatever the hell they choose to call it) makes it more bearable. You are my lifeblood on the low days and I love to share the up days with you and I hope that I reciprocate your support xxx

 

[samiam]

Spoomie: You do give great support. And I know what you mean. I wish we had met on here in the happy pregnancy support room. But you never know what life's going to give you. I'm very grateful for all of the women I've "met" on here.

AFM: So here's my sappy message to all of you. Thank you for your constant cheering on and support. You DO all make this ttc journey a lot more bearable.

 

[Glowstar]

Well that's it well and truly started. My only saving grace is I am not in alot of pain but concerned by how much blood I am losing and not sure what is normal

 

[pip7890]

Glowie

From my own experience I don't think there is a normal as such. With my first miscarriage everything came out in one go quite traumatically and I had a on/off flow for about a week. Second time around it was much more piecemeal and went on for two weeks. Some days really heavy flow and others not so.

I believe some ladies hardly lose anything - something about the pregnancy being reabsorbed but I'm not sure about that.

If your bleeding and/or cramps are leaving you faint or dizzy, unable to move around or particularly tired I would suggest you see the doctor. You might need some iron tablets. Make sure you stay hydrated as that will help.

I can't remember too much of my post miscarriage days. I just stayed warm and expected nothing of myself.

Pip x