TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

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Oh my goodness, I am so relieved to hear from Morgan's that our lovely Glowie is recovering, after a scary scary day. Lots and lots of love to you Glowie.

Spoomie - I'm sorry you had such a horrible time at the docs and now feel betrayed by your OH. I have been through the total obsession stage and it is a truly horrible experience, you do begin to question your sanity. The worse thing for me was that I knew it without anyone telling me, I also hated it, but even so it has taken a long time to slowly switch off. I still long for a baby but over the last 3 months I have begun to just get involved in my life and let that be the most important thing - fortunately I have a very demanding job and the hours are long (though I'm freelance so there are times when there is no work) - I haven't given up hope by a long stretch but I have weaned myself off of the constant temping, opks and all the other madness of not doing this, that and the other - I know the right time to dtd and interestingly as soon as I started switching off a bit OH switched on - he knows the rights times now so it's not such a big deal - I don't have to nag him and we have reached an understanding where we both know it would be a bloody miracle, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I hope you and yours can reach a place of harmony and happiness. :hugs:

To everyone else I hope your all well and having a good weekend. :hugs:
 
Nise said:
Oh my goodness, I am so relieved to hear from Morgan's that our lovely Glowie is recovering, after a scary scary day. Lots and lots of love to you Glowie.

Spoomie - I'm sorry you had such a horrible time at the docs and now feel betrayed by your OH. I have been through the total obsession stage and it is a truly horrible experience, you do begin to question your sanity. The worse thing for me was that I knew it without anyone telling me, I also hated it, but even so it has taken a long time to slowly switch off. I still long for a baby but over the last 3 months I have begun to just get involved in my life and let that be the most important thing - fortunately I have a very demanding job and the hours are long (though I'm freelance so there are times when there is no work) - I haven't given up hope by a long stretch but I have weaned myself off of the constant temping, opks and all the other madness of not doing this, that and the other - I know the right time to dtd and interestingly as soon as I started switching off a bit OH switched on - he knows the rights times now so it's not such a big deal - I don't have to nag him and we have reached an understanding where we both know it would be a bloody miracle, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I hope you and yours can reach a place of harmony and happiness. :hugs:

To everyone else I hope your all well and having a good weekend. :hugs:
Click to expand...

Nise
Thanks for this, it is a real help to know that although I am currently living in my OCD, slipping-into-insanity bubble, there is an end to it, even if that end does not include our ultimate dream. I'm glad, because this sometimes doesn't feel that much like really living. I think that it was wrong of me to say that I feel betrayed and I said that in the heat of the moment because I know that his reason for speaking as he did was actually because he fears for me. Also, if I'm truthful it was all stuff he'd said at home but I hadn't chosen to hear...... I wish only happiness for you, whatever form it takes.

When we were eighteen, who ever would've thought that being a grown up would be so bloody difficult?!
 
Spoomie when the f.s. told me that i couldnt keep trying and told me to give up i wasw devestated but after a day of constantly thinking about what they had said i thought F**k you im going to keep trying and prove you wrong but with a different outlook. I stopped stressing about it, stopped thinking about it and for the first time since i was 39 9im now 44), i had very very stretchy egg white cm and i mean stretchy it stretched to 6 inches on cd 8 , i ov'd on cd 9 and well im now 5 days away from af ( i only have 24 day cycles), and im feeling alittle dodgy in the nausea area this morning but nothing substantial just a little off colour but never the less all good so far.
What i wanted to tell you was that there has been research done into the reproductive system of women as it has long been known that men produce new sperm every day and so on, but was always thought that women only have the amount of eggs that they were born with but ... NO !!! we too keep producing new eggs each and every cycle until we hit the monopause and that is the only time out eggs are no good !!. the reason we have a bad egg or poor quality egg is the same reason men have deformed or bad sperm its no different . I will post on here the website for you to look at and read hun. This is the reason women older than before are getting pregnant and carrying perfectly healthy babies but most of the mdeical profession refuse to believe it and still carry on going by the text books that they were taught with.
Carry on tying hun but take a different approach. You know you can do it you just have to be relaxed and int he right frame of mind and think ok !, this is going to be coming believe it .
Good luck sweet heart and dont lose faith in the ttc journey it can be peaceful and relaxing you just have to choose it that way
 
GIRLS READ THIS.. a lovely lady on f.b. posted this a while ago but i think you should all read this , it gives us a lot of hope girls . x


Can our ovaries make new eggs

Some very encouraging research has been done that is throwing the scientific

community in a tailspin. There may be evidence that our ovaries have 'reserves'

and that we may be able to make new eggs contrary to the current belief that we

are born with all the eggs we will ever have. Here is the article from the NIH:

New Eggs Continue to Develop in Adult Mice

Here is another site that discusses the subject: radiantwonder.com


From the site: We are told we have a finite number of eggs and the number of those eggs becomes less and less as we age.

There are some new theories about our eggs which are being explored with solid research. It is true we have eggs when we are born and that
number becomes less, however there is more. We may be making new eggs.

This would parellel the function of germ-line stem cells in males, which make new sperm throughout the male's fertile life. This could make sense.

The body likes to have back up for many of its most important functions. We have two lungs; we can function with one.

We have two kidneys; we can live with only one. We have two ovaries; it only takes one for a successful pregnancy.

There are also
many biochemical backup systems in the body. So why wouldn't the body want a back up plan for its reproductive system?


Why wouldn't it want to provide you with the ability to make more eggs, as men make more sperm?


A recent study at Harvard Medical School with Massachusetts General Hospital discovered evidence that may override the old theory of eggs and egg life.

The study found that female mice have germ-line stem cells in their ovaries that can make new eggs throughout the female's fertile life.



This has profound implicaitons for us.
 
Bless you Inkdchick. Your post makes a lot of sense to me. I have started since the appointment to change my mindset to think that I will ignore what they say and keep going, but you are right, it does need to be with a different attitude; this one is going to send me to the loony bin and the one thing the Dr was right about, that is this process is going to destroy our marriage if I can't get a grip (my words, not hers!) I LOVE the research you have found. We are told that we have old, poor quality eggs at every turn and yet, women of more advanced age are able to defy the odds, please God we are amongst their number. I pray for more and more nausea for you :) Thank you xxx
 
Hello all, been away at my Mum's for the weekend.
Glowie - my goodness, you poor thing. I do thank God for the wonderful Drs and nurses who saved you - I hope you recover quickly and feel better soon xx
I haven't looked at anyone's chart today, but I'm feeling hopeful for the three 2ww's and keeping my fingers crossed as this thread needs some bloody good news.
AFM, got my day 3 results back - FSH is barely changed from last year; AMH is quite shite! I am on the low side of Low fertility. No surprises, really. I never had it checked before as Kings go on FSH; I checked the Lister results for my range and it's a 12% live birth rate; 50% miscarriage rate. What shall I do, ladies? IVF and probable heartache, but with a one in ten chance; or move on with our lives?
x
 
Reb...now you are armed with knowledge. The odds are not so great when you look at them like that, but then SOMEONE has to be in the 12% and it could be you!!! (Conversely, I remember reading that the odds of mc after seeing a heartbeat are about 1% and I became a member of that club. You could just as easily be a member of the 12% club!) I am sure that with IVF it's really easy to keep saying, 'Just one more try' but I have a couple of positive stories to spur you on if that is what you need. I have a close friend who is 45 now, her son has just celebrated his first birthday and he was conceived on their fifth IVF cycle - she had told me before it began that it was to have been their last. Another friend of a friend is just about to give birth to her child any day and she is 46, having completed 11 cycles. I am not suggesting that I could go on for that length of time (imagine the expense too) but what I'm trying to say is that these are real women who are in that depressing looking percentage that is given, I think my friend was given 1-2% success and I imagine the 46 year old was given even worse odds. If someone told you that you'd get your baby on IVF cycle 20, you'd keep going till you got there, it's just so hard the not knowing. I guess only you guys can work out whether it is right to soldier on or to draw a line and move on. We are hear to listen xxx
 
Reb: I dunno. I hear that the FSH test isn't entirely concrete and that docs over here have some doubts about it. I'm so sorry that you got such news, though. 12% live birth rate and 50% mc rate? What is the other 38% then? I don't have loads of faith in statistics these days. If they truly worked, then there wouldn't be all of these older women getting pregnant and having healthy babies. The human body is too complex to fit into statistics. I think 12% chance of keeping your forever baby is better than 0%. I know how heartbreaking loss is. I suppose I would keep trying and if there were a certain number of losses and my heart were shattered, I'd move on to something else. But that's just me. No-one can speak for you and if you don't want to go down that scary possibly painful road, no-one will think you're doing the wrong thing. Any chance for egg donation? What are you leaning toward honey? What does your heart tell you? What about OH?
 
To be honest, my heart was quite relieved when I first saw the results, as it might mean I can't do IVF again and it was a shite journey; but now I think there is still some hope, which means I must carry on. CONFUSED!!!
Spoomie - I am also in the 1 percent heartbeat/miscarriage statistics - I think Sam is right and statistics are nonsense x


Ooh, just seen LLBeans comment. Off to stalk you 2ww's! x
 
well girls 4 days to af and my boobs only now feel heavier and aching sore at the sides and under my armpits, hurt when i walk down the stairs and when i bend over the nausea was a little bit more this morning before breakfast and im feeling a little sick now but think thats coz i have forgotten to eat this evening so now ive got to find something that i might fancy to eat lol but we'll see will let you all know .
Im glad that my info about our egg production was of interest i couldnt see how if men were producing sperm all their life why a woman wouldnt produce eggs to make the making of sperm as they need to match coz if men are producing sperm they have to have eggs to impregnate so the old theory has always bugged me and now we have to answer we all thought was right in the first place.
So come on girls lets will on those good healthy eggs we ARE producing to get them spermies into them and give us all our long awaited baby xxx Good luck girlies xxx
 
Hi Ladies - how piggin cold is it!!! well it is winter here down under!!

Jake and I did the sperm run this morning after hubby deposited a MINUTE amount in the specimen jar, really, is that all there is I said, then what the hell is all the goop that runs out and leaves a wet patch! He said that when you BD there is more cos it comes out harder and faster etc and having a wank just doesn't do it for him. I helped start him off but he decided he wanted to try and aim himself and get it over with. Hope it's enough for the scientists to do the tests!!

Anywhoo now we can get back to some bing as O should be due in a few days.

Anywho sorry for the me post, need to go make a warm drink, I am sooooooo cold!!

will come back for personals a little later cos a couple of you need a firm talking to!! And I gotta go stalk soem charts first as well!
 
Well, I had my consult today. Nothing we didn't expect, except finally some explanations - instead of the irritating 'unexplained infertility' we got 'male factor, mild PCOS; possible 'uterine'" so there you go. They recommend another IVF; long protocol but still MUCH shorter than the last blooming one - only one week of down-reg before beginning stims; and much lower dose. Our chances of a BFP with my low ovarian reserve is about 28%, live birth 13% and miscarriage - oh yes, the killer 50%. He says that's about normal for our age...
Well, some discussing to do. x
Hope you're all well, off to stalk Bean, Sam and co., I'm not temping this month - FREEDOM!
Sorry for me, me me post...
Spoomie - how're you doing? Hope you're feeling more cheerful;
Miss C - I didn't think it ever got cold down there! How did you find the Clomid?
Ink - keeping my fingers crossed for you, let us know how you go x
 
Reb: With mild PCOS, you could consider following the PCOS diet. It has certainly played a big factor in making my cycle more regular. I also take vitex and maca and recently all of my hormone levels were back to normal! Just a few ideas to consider. . .
 
Reb S said:
Well, I had my consult today. Nothing we didn't expect, except finally some explanations - instead of the irritating 'unexplained infertility' we got 'male factor, mild PCOS; possible 'uterine'" so there you go. They recommend another IVF; long protocol but still MUCH shorter than the last blooming one - only one week of down-reg before beginning stims; and much lower dose. Our chances of a BFP with my low ovarian reserve is about 28%, live birth 13% and miscarriage - oh yes, the killer 50%. He says that's about normal for our age...
Well, some discussing to do. x
Hope you're all well, off to stalk Bean, Sam and co., I'm not temping this month - FREEDOM!
Sorry for me, me me post...
Spoomie - how're you doing? Hope you're feeling more cheerful;
Miss C - I didn't think it ever got cold down there! How did you find the Clomid?
Ink - keeping my fingers crossed for you, let us know how you go x
Click to expand...

Hey Reb....not really sure what to say. Those stats make for scary, depressing reading, but hold on to the fact that someone has to be among those positive percentages (ie 28% success as opposed to 72% fail, though my counsellor is telling me not to use such negative words!) and it could just as easily be you as the next woman. As people said to me after my killer appointment with GP last week, they love to throw statistics at us but they don't really need to; we know the odds are not in our favour, we get that part of it, but don't rule it out as impossible. Re: the 50% mc, try to think that you've been in the negative 50% already and now is your turn to be in the happy-ever-after 50%. Hope that doesn't sound fickle, I meant it to sound uplifting xx Not temping, lucky you. How liberating, I just started again this am, sigh!

My guess is that Twinny just THINKS it's cold down there, she's forgotten what it's like to live here in Blighty in January :haha:

And I guess chart stalking is the only thing for me to do too - where is everyone and why haven't any of you written today?! It feels lonely on here just now and I don't know what to do with myself, it's only cd5 for me so no need for an early night!!! Glowie, come back as soon as you're able, we miss you :flower:
 
Bummer Morgans xxxx
Thanks ladies, will look up PCOS diet. Going to bed to ponder! x
 
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