TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Miss_C]

Oh Sammy and Glowie I can feel your pain so much in your posts and wish I could properly hug you both. In fact go up and hug a stranger and say it's from Miss_C!! You will both feel good! Hugs release pheremones and we all need them!!

As for bding between loss and AF i agree it will happen if it happens and whatever will be will be etc. I didn't temp until after first AF we did say we wouldnlt try until after the first one so took that time to completely focus on grieving and recovery etc etc. When the witch hit I was a mess it was just like losing ziggy all over again. Add that to the fact I couldnlt bring myself to BD once she had gone, soooooo weird. I wanted to more than anything but I had a big barrier up that I couldnlt do it. When we finally did I was againa n emotional mess, I cried allt he way through and after and it was just such a huge thing. I donlt know why or how but I guess there was something there in my mind about doing it all again cos we had to cos the baby was no longer there etc etc it was all just putting emphasis on losing ziggy, the period, the bding, the follow up scans and docs appointments etc. So ladies I guess I am telling you this to prepare yourselves that you may feel OK and "healed" and then it bites you on the arse again

 

[Spoomie]

Oh Sammy and Glowie I can feel your pain so much in your posts and wish I could properly hug you both. In fact go up and hug a stranger and say it's from Miss_C!! You will both feel good! Hugs release pheremones and we all need them!!

As for bding between loss and AF i agree it will happen if it happens and whatever will be will be etc. I didn't temp until after first AF we did say we wouldnlt try until after the first one so took that time to completely focus on grieving and recovery etc etc. When the witch hit I was a mess it was just like losing ziggy all over again. Add that to the fact I couldnlt bring myself to BD once she had gone, soooooo weird. I wanted to more than anything but I had a big barrier up that I couldnlt do it. When we finally did I was againa n emotional mess, I cried allt he way through and after and it was just such a huge thing. I donlt know why or how but I guess there was something there in my mind about doing it all again cos we had to cos the baby was no longer there etc etc it was all just putting emphasis on losing ziggy, the period, the bding, the follow up scans and docs appointments etc. So ladies I guess I am telling you this to prepare yourselves that you may feel OK and "healed" and then it bites you on the arse again

So true Twinny I didn't have huge issues with BD, but totally relate to the slap in the face and being taken right back to the pain of the mc for at least 4 months afterwards each time AF arrived. Also, I did temp as soon as bleeding stopped, but think it was fairly useless as temps were pretty erratic and, if I remember rightly, barely above the coverline even after ovulation. Glowie and Sam, my advice would be to bd when it feels right to and, if you can, avoid temping till after AF, it's a stress you don't need.

 

[Reb S]

You're apparently more fertile just after anyway, ladies, so keep going with the BDing. Miss C is right - it does bite you on the arse when you're not expecting - (I have huge teeth marks in my left butt cheek..!) but seriously, grieve when you need to and lean on us xxx

 

[samiam]

Your chart is looking nice Spoomie!

 

[LLbean]

Just sending all around covered in lots and lots of

May you all have a great weekend

 

[Reb S]

Well, ladies - my signature says it all....it's this month for IVF, or that's it for us. Still no decisions.
Hope you're all enjoying le weekend and lots of hugs for our sad ladies xxx

 

[samiam]

Well, ladies - my signature says it all....it's this month for IVF, or that's it for us. Still no decisions.
Hope you're all enjoying le weekend and lots of hugs for our sad ladies xxx

Oh hon. How are YOU holding up? I hope you're feeling okay about things.

 

[Miss_C]

Well, ladies - my signature says it all....it's this month for IVF, or that's it for us. Still no decisions.
Hope you're all enjoying le weekend and lots of hugs for our sad ladies xxx

oh my one month ahead of us then. HSG this week and then f nothing we have that decision to make. I wish I could help but I am no nearer a decision this end at all.

Maybe if you list your pros and cons we can help with balancing them out for you?

 

[Reb S]

Thanks for your support ladies -
Cons - we did it, we succeeded, we lost it - we went through hell and are scared of doing it again.
- we swore we'd only do it once
- I had a terrible time with it - really bad down-reg, OHSS, the works.
- OH says he's too old
- success rate 20%, miscarriage of that success rate 50%
Pros - seems to be the only way I can get pregnant, with his sperm issues and whatever the hell is wrong with me!

I guess it will boil down to fear versus desire for a family and whether he can see his way to being a dad at his age. It has cleared up the fact that we will stop TTC after this month, whatever we do, however - if he feels he is too old for IVF in case it succeeds, then he feels he is too old fullstop. So the conclusion I've been gradually coming to these past few months is that our time is past. The IVF would be one last shot. He says we said that last time and should stick with our previous decisions...
There it all is. I don't know what to think. Part of me thinks I've moved on and started to let go. Part of me wants never to move on.

ME ME ME ME ME. How is everyone else? xx

 

[maryanne67]

ah sorry to hear ur other half is feeling like that but as has already been said by so many no way is he too old look at rod stewart, you have to do whats right for you with what makes you happy ,i wouldnt be giving up if it was me but its not me and sometimes you have to let go ,its just my opinion you need to be happy but you know you will get the support of the ladies here whatever you decide

 

[samiam]

Reb: Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're like me, right? No kids yet? In your 40s? If so, the questions I ask myself is: "How much will it break your heart if you don't go for one last attempt at this?" and "How much will this damage my relationship with OH if we do proceed past this point?" We're not quite to IVF,but we're close and OH has even jokingly mentioned a surrogate, so he may be willing to go further than I'd even considered. But hon, it's a personal thing between you two and whatever you both decide, as long as it feels right in your heart and your soul, it's the way you need to go. And whatever that choice is, we're here and we are sending you as much love and support as we can. You'll know what the right thing for you is. Just be still and listen to your heart. And know that we're with you.

 

[ciarhwyfar]

Reb, Sam has some really good advice there. I hope you both can find success in what ever final choices you and Sam both make. Peace in your heart is important to find.

Miss C, keeping my fingers crossed that the HSG gives you the extra boost so many often find in it.

LLbean, Spoomie, and others, having positive thoughts for you all.

Pip, looking good and hope things keep up for you.

 

[truly_blessed]

Reb I think when you've made the right decision for you, you will know and feel a lot more at peace. As it stands, I get the feeling you're not qute ready to give up yet and if OH agreed to one more shot at IVF you'd prob take it.... just the feeling I get, I could be totally off course. So you've got the battle of deciding what you want to do in your heart, plus the fighting with what is right for OH.

As for OH thinking he's too old, it really is just a perception. Does he actually 'feel' too old physically and mentally ... or is it more a social thing. I know you will reach the right decision for both of you. x

 

[Glowstar]

Gosh Reb, you have some difficult decisions to make. Everyone has offered great advice but my take in it is you are still here in this thread and that tells me you are not ready to give up yet. X
Have you posted on the assisted conception boards for feedback? I must admit I have seen plenty of threads all over the internet the past 9 months of ivf success stories, who says yours can't be one of those??

AFM - well no clue where I really am in my cycle but think I might have ov'd. Anyone want to look at my chart? Not enough pre-o temps in though. I did a hpt today to see if all the hcg was out of my system and it is, so think my body is doing something. I did one a week after D&C and it was still fairly positive. With being on holiday etc I don't know when it went back to zero. In theory I think that might/should have been cd1.
I suppose I just want this cycle over with really so I can move on properly.

 

[Morgans19]

Hi Ladies, Just catching up with all your posts.
Sam - so sorry to read your news, you can do it, I know you can.
Reb- go for it, think I would if given the chance, if you dont you may regret that decision
Glowie - great to have you back on here, stalking our charts and keeping us all on the straight and narrow!
Spoomie - your chart looks nice )

AFM - day 21, bad diarohea, runny nose, temp rise today, I know they are all symptoms, but Ive been there before! I will hold off testing for a few days yet. I kinda think Ill be in for another disappointment.
I had another "reading" - to try give me some PMA!!!!

Take care all, big hugs x

 

[LLbean]

Hi Ladies, Just catching up with all your posts.
Sam - so sorry to read your news, you can do it, I know you can.
Reb- go for it, think I would if given the chance, if you dont you may regret that decision
Glowie - great to have you back on here, stalking our charts and keeping us all on the straight and narrow!
Spoomie - your chart looks nice )

AFM - day 21, bad diarohea, runny nose, temp rise today, I know they are all symptoms, but Ive been there before! I will hold off testing for a few days yet. I kinda think Ill be in for another disappointment.
I had another "reading" - to try give me some PMA!!!!

Take care all, big hugs x

Who did you get the reading from? Man I am still waiting here too but (and again, it is very highly possible that it is all in my head) I was laying down on the couch just now and hubby came back in from mowing the lawn so I got up to say something and got BEYOND lightheaded/dizzy...I literally had to sit myself on the floor cause even my vision was going...

UPDATE: Just got back from dinner and the smells were absolutely driving me insane (and I mean even people's smells). Gave 2/3 of my steak to my hubby cause I could just not down it...I was feeling sick. Someone ordered crab around us and I was ready to run out the door LOL. I've always had a really sensitive nose but I do believe it is heightened for some reason....maybe this is normal pre-AF anyway but I guess I had not noticed it till now.

 

[Reb S]

Good luck to Morgans, LLbean and Spoomie as you wait it out!
Glowie and Sam - I hope you two are feeling okay xxx
AFM thanks for all your lovely posts and advice. I dream different things every night and I don't get home until 5 days before we would start the IVF so OH and I have to do all our discussions on Skype. Not ideal. My heart is staying stubbornly silent - I don't know why it's not screaming out that we have to do this thing again. Part of me just wants to let go now and move on with my life; part of me is scared to be pregnant again. Anyway, a day off here so I'm going to the sea. Take care all xx

 

[Reb S]

Spoomie - looking good x

 

[Glowstar]

I thought that too Reb!!

How are you??

 

[Reb S]

Me?! Or Spoomie? and how are YOU?!