TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Shelley71]

to all! It seems like the past couple days I've been away that everyone needs a hug. So sorry for all the "crappyness." I've missed a lot, so doing personals is quite impossible, so I'll just catch up from here.

I have nothing to report except that once again, I have no idea about ovulation. My cycle was going great and I was temping regularly and then our AC unit went to shit. I had to stop temping because the house was just too warm to get an accurate reading. FF has me Oing on CD12, but I don't believe that due to our AC issues.

My CBFM is still only reading high on CD20. The only difference in my attitude this time in regards to not Oing is that I don't know for sure that I didn't, whereas last time, I know I didn't. I think I'll take my temp in the morning now that we have a new AC unit and the house is cool again. Maybe that will push FF to update.

Aside from all that, last night I was sitting here and got some pulling/throbbing pains in my left ovary area. When I went to the bathroom before bed, I had some EWCM. Not a lot, but a little. So, I'm wondering if it's at all possible that I'm Oing now. CBFM still only read high this morning, though. I have some CB digi OPKs and I've been using them, but I didn't today. Dumb, I know. Maybe I'll use one later?

Only bright side to this possibility? We BD'd Monday night at the hotel because it wasn't too hot to do it! LOL We haven't BD'd at all otherwise. So, I'm not really expecting any sort of BFP this time, I was just really hoping to see an O. But, due to circumstances beyond my control, I can't tell.

 

[Glowstar]

Just had a look at your chart and its hard to say with so many missing temps, ff isn't sure because you've got ewcm after ovulation. If it were me I would do vaginal temping next cycle if you can. Also a be every 2-3 days from cd10 should cover you more. Xxx

 

[Morgans19]

I am finding the vaginal temping much more "steady" - only started it this month. Hope your all well x

 

[Reb S]

Evening all,
You know, I just had a moment of thinking if OH read this he would think we're all bonkers! Vag temps, EWCM, BDing, O, sore boobs - good grief what we all go through in the search for the elusive BFP!!!
Anyway,
Sam - sorry that you are feeling so low. As Spoomie said - HORMONES. And grief. And missing your O and your OH. So don't give yourself a hard time and pour a nice big glass of something delicious x
Spoomie - you sound so good this month it's not true x
Glowie - thanks for the light period encouragement! If we're IVFing then we won't be able to prove your theory...!
Shelley, here's hoping your O turns up x
Miss C - how did it go? Not too painful, I hope x
AFM, still in France, playing opera. COLD AND WINDY! We had mega-pegs holding the music down tonight! x

 

[Miss_C]

HSG showed perfect uterus, perfect tubes, not cysts or polyps, fobroid not gorwing and is in no way causing any issues or obstruction - all perfect BUT not a damn single follicle on either side nothingm not even a hint of one and I am on cd7 so he says definitely no ovulation this month. Has recommended back to FS that we get more agressive with stimulation. Questions if I have been ovulating at all.

so now nothing to do but wait until August 2nd for next appointment and figure out where to go from there

I dsont know if this is good news or bad news - right now all I am doing is crying cos I am shitting myself, what if there's no eggs left hence the 1.1 amh - I am a mess

 

[samiam]

Oh Miss C. When are you headed back to FS? You're not OUT of eggs. No way, sister. Listen, there are annovulatory cycles and maybe this is just one of them. It's really shitty of him to put the idea in your head that you are not ovulating at all. There's no way he can know that for certain.

 

[Miss_C]

oh don't get me wrong he was amazingly wonderful and hugged me when I cried and said he really feels good that we will be pregnant it was more a case of this cycle is DEFINITELY going to be annov but without him looking at all my charts and blood tests he couldn't say for sure - I think he just meant that there really is only 1 sure fire way to say absolutely that you did O the rest just indicate that it was probable.

I think I may indulge in a little glass of wine and commiserate with my stupid body and just try and chill out until 2nd August when we go back to FS. I may stay away from here a bit just to try and make time pass and be less obsessed knowing nothing is going to happen this month. Maybe even shift a few kilos in next few weeks - I am a big fatty boomba so that can only help. Gonna let my FFFFFF membership expire too as that is an obsession and if I am going under the FS may as well just hand myself over to them totally as nothing I have done has worked

 

[samiam]

Miss C: Oh honey. . . My heart is breaking for you. I just wish we were all closer. We all need some girl time, I think. Don't do anything drastic. Just have a glass of a wine, a cuddle with your OH and Jake and sleep on it all. I don't think you need to cancel your FFF thing. That's useful data. And if you look at all of the months and months of data I gathered before my cycle started to go back to normal, well, it was frustrating and scary, but it really helped me see the difference between then and now. I think you need a little wee push from the fs, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. To coin a phrase. . .

Take your time finding your way through this. If you need a break from here, we will understand and will always welcome you back with open arms.

 

[Glowstar]

Couldn't have put it better myself Sam

Miss C keep fighting...I just feel your time will come

 

[Reb S]

Miss C - you only have to look at your FFFFFF charts to know that you HAVE been ovulating, even if this month is a no-go. Maybe your body decided that with all the FS stuff going on, it didn't need to bother this time. Take a break and chill and enjoy Jake and please come back to us x
Sam and Glowie - you're both amazing x
Spoomie - looks like she got you, hope you're having amazing hols x Morgans - chart is looking good x

 

[Spoomie]

Well said all to Twinny. So so sorry sweetie. Remember Twinny that you are up against it in terms of time re:EDD, and Reb and I both said that has a massive bearing on how you feel about absolutely everything to do with ttc. So, big glass of wine, deep breath and steady as she blows!

As for me.......crash and burn, I hate hate hate her. She's not here yet but even I know it's too late for a miracle to save me this cycle. AND I did the Instead cups like Glowie told me to!!! So what to add to my armoury next?!

Great hols, fab fab day at Beaulieu today

Love to you all and big hugs for the sad people xxx

 

[Glowstar]

Hi Spoomie, glad you've had a great time

May I suggest adding Maca Root to your and OH's armoury of TTC ? I know Sam has been taking it too I'd only been taking it a few weeks when got the BFP, I think Sam had too

We're back on it now....we both take 500mg a day

Edited to Add: I see an improvement in your last 2 cycles since you stopped all the herbs and stuff and know you might be reluctant but it's a food supplement and hasn't done anything to effect my cycle in anyway (just in case you were worried)

 

[Reb S]

Hello all,
Hope you are all okay - I had good chat with OH this morning - he said he was feeling old and fat, he's got his running shoes out and is feeling more energetic! His main worry for our IVF is that if it fails/miscarries, it will waste all the hard work I've had to do this year to get back on an even keel. We're both terrified! Of success and failure!
Oh dear.
Anyway, enough about me. Miss C - if you're around, hope you're feeling okay,
Glowie and Sam - hope you're both recovering well. I keep saying it, but it's worth saying ten times - you're both amazing that you're back on here and giving us all generous advice xx
Spoomie - SO glad you had a great holiday and sorry for the old witch. You hate her so much, she'll be scared to come back next month! x
I haven't stalked any charts, but how are LLbean and Morgans doing? Fingers crossed x

 

[samiam]

Spoomie: Stupid Hag!

Reb: Thanks, hon. You are so sweet for saying it. I need to hear it more than I realize. Seeing my OH tomorrow and we're going to have a quick and naughty just in case that egg hasn't made its way down the chute. And I can understand your OH's fears, but I think that, given all that you've said, you may regret it if you don't go for it. It could be a case of wondering "what if?".

 

[Spoomie]

Hi gals. Sigh.........feel cr*p today but I know that cd1 is probably going to be the worst day now whereas it used to be cd1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and I'd just start to emerge on cd6. Today it feels like this is a mountain that cannot be conquered.

Reb, I totally understand your OH's fears; I don't know if you've shown him my post from a few weeks back but I'd like to think it could allay some of his fears about being old. As for being scared, I thought that DH would never have sex with me again after living through our last mc. He was too scared that I'd get pregnant again (fat chance of that!) and that it would all go the same way. I totally relate to the sentiment that one doesn't know which is the greater fear, success or failure (though I mustn't let my counsellor hear me say that word!) He's also said that he fears for my mental state too if things went wrong again, but I think they don't understand that the desire is so great that we are prepared to risk almost anything. I pray that you and he both find courage and that it unites you and doesn't divide you.

Glowie, thanks for the advice. I must confess that after this cycle, my first since ditching the herbal medicine, I feel really cross that I have wasted 6 months time and money on something that now appears to have been doing me more of a DISservice than helping me along the way. I really like to think that the herbalist believed she could help because the alternative is too dreadful to entertain, but my body is clearly so well balanced (!!! Shame the same can't be said for my mind!!) that her herbs only served to knock me off course. Sigh. Thinking of giving Maca a try, or Soy. I know you've done both, could you give me a for/against case for each?

Sam, have a fab weekend. Drink lots of wine and laugh lots. I know that probably sounds like a tall order but remember what happened last time you laughed together

Sam and Glowie, keep on keeping on xxx

Miss C

Love to you all xxx

 

[LLbean]

still waiting for AF but she is menacing big time!

 

[Glowstar]

Reb, Thanks for being so lovely I like being here...in the 'inner sanctum' of a group of lovely ladies who are all like minded!!

LL - Sorry the hag is on her way

Spoomie - sorry the hag got you again mmmmm pro's and con's for Maca and Soy. Personally I would try Maca first for both you and OH...it's very invasive and won't alter your cycle. Here's the link to read more about it https://natural-fertility-info.com/maca

Soy is a whole other subject as it can have adverse effects on some people...it never really has on me though It's something you could look at...but maybe on a super low dose?

xxx

 

[Spoomie]

Glowie, I too have described this place as my inner sanctum to DH, great minds...... Checked out the maca link and then on to Amazon to see what to buy. What dosage did/do you take? Bit confused that in your post you say it's very invasive, I'm guessing you meant it's NOT invasive?? Glad not to have my cycle altered now this past one was such a good length so that is reassuring. Yes, I had read that soy divides opinion: that some people swear by it and others loathe it. I presume it's not a good idea to combine the two? Maybe I'll try the maca for a couple of months. How long were you and Sam taking it before you got a result?

Reflected on my earlier post and realised that this past cycle was my last chance to deliver my longed for baby at the ripe old age of 43. Hhmmm. Giving birth at 44?? Not impossible but feeling as though the prize may just be slipping away from my grasp....

 

[Glowstar]

oops sorry I meant NOT invasive!! I actually got mine off eBay, swansons Macs. It's in capsule form, 500mg per capsule and we both take one a day. I think I was taking it for around 6 weeks before bfp. Your supposed to stop taking it during AF to let your body detox naturally.
I carried on taking it while preg as didn't want to unbalance my hormones.

As for the Soy, it's def something to consider if no success soon. Lady on soy thread is 41 and pregnant twice from soy 1st time. She mc at 9 weeks first time,had a cycle inbetween and now 22 weeks preg. She's having a girl, she has 4 boys already!! So really pleased for her.

I got mt Soy from Tesco, yellow bottle but only seem to find it in big extra stores. Each one contains 40mg of soy. Your supposed to take double what you would for clomid and on the same cycle days so average is 3-7.
Bfp cycle I was only taking 40mg per day.

AFM - well if it wasn't D&C cycle I would swear I was pregnant again :-/ all the hcg is def out of my system but today my nipples are like saucers, and veiny!! Exactly as they where a few weeks ago. Obviously during my holiday all that went away but it's back with a vengance, not sure what to think but hate my body for playing tricks on me!!

 

[Morgans19]

Hi Girls,

Awe sorry that AF got you Spoomie. She aint far away for me either. I tested on Thur - BFN, my runny nose is now a full blown cold! Feeling kinda sorry for myself tbh!!!

Glowie - would the Maca help us do you think?

Hows LLBean?

Reb - hope your ok, we are all behind you whatever your decisions x