TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Spoomie]

Kate Silverton is in this weeks Hello mag talking about her miracle baby. This is an older article from the daily mail.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowb...lverton-shows-miracle-baby-bump-BBC-sofa.html

Hey Glowie

Hope you're still feeling queasy, remember it's a great sign. May I pick your soy brain? As you know, I took it from cd4-8 and ovulated on cd10 according to FFF though cbfm had my peak days later, I was getting ewcm later and, if I remember rightly, my CP also didn't quite fit with cd10. However, although out's a fairly feeble temp rise (barely creeping over the coverline), my temps seem to imply that I DID O then so I'm a bit confused. My comfort comes in the fact that my last pregnancy chart hovered around the cover line for a few days too, but in reality I know that post-O temps mean nothing until at least 12 dpo! Would soy give these mixed messages? I know you felt it stuffed up your cycle but I don't really know how!

 

[Spoomie]

Hi to (yet more!) new ladies, welcome to the party.

I am Spoomie and my story is this: I am 43 with a beautiful 3 year old son (I too started late and had relatively little trouble conceiving at 39). I was delighted to find myself pregnant again this time last year after about 6 months of increasingly concerted efforts and devastated to lose our baby at 12+2 on November 21st last year, Since then my life has been consumed by sadness and obsessing about trying to get pregnant again, without success. The clouds are lifting now and I am learning to fit ttc in to my life while making a bit of room for other stuff too. This thread has been my lifeline and I would be in a far worse place without it. I hope you never 'need' it in the same way but that it supports, informs and helps you to smile through the journey

 

[Glowstar]

Hi spoomie, yes still feeling sick....but also dreaming about nice things to eat at the same time...weird!!

Soy didn't mess my cycle up while I was taking it, it was when I stopped taking it. I think you might have ovd cd11. Everything seems to fit with that day. I think soy is eostrogen based so might explain your post ov temps getting off the ground a bit slow. I wouldn't worry about early ovulation or the slightly lower temps. You are doing all you can. You can take soy for 3 cycles. You should ask poppy to show you her chart as she ovd really early and had temps closer to coverline and she got bfp so don't stress about any of that. Xx

 

[Rashaa]

Welcome lulaby and tabby

I got my preseed on the weekend!!!! cant wait to test drive it once af is over
this cycle ive decided everyother day to bd from the end of af till af comes again. Hoping this will help with some finishing issues hes been having.

Im suposidly fertile this weekend and next week when were on holidays and will be all relaxed. My bday is this sat, I turn 40 and i pray we concieve itd be the best gift ever!

Warning - don't use too much! My OH found it rather watery and TMI WARNING!!!! - didn't give enough friction... hee hee. We used less and both really liked it. Happy birthday for Saturday x

hahahah I totally understand what you are saying about the preseed Hubby asked me to not use it after the first time..3ml is waaaaaay too much lol... too funny though.

 

[Rashaa]

Welcome to Tabby and the other newbies :wave:

 

[Miss_C]

mornin all, been a bit MIA as my bottom has been giving me major grief, 3 days of awful diahrrea and I gave in to the immodium last night - soooooooooo not conducive to bding when your bottom is not right! Hopefully I'll be fixed up and ready to go tonight. Got some ewcm mixed in with the creamy cm today and quite wet so hopefully things are gearing up. Have an u/s booked for 11am on Thursday to see how we are going follicle wise and a blood test for estrogen to see if said follicle if found has an egg in it!!

I spoke to FS and he said it was not a side effect but I have been doing some forum trawling and found heaps of people that got the squirts as a result of the clomid, can't all be coinkydink that we got bugs at same times as taking clomid!

Accupuncture on Thursday as well so hope it all works out.

Weekend was OK, with runnign to the loo most of it not too much time to think or dwell but did have meltdown yesterday. Jake was at playshool and I was home alone and it hit me that I shouldn't have been alone, we should have been home with ziggy. Cried hard for about an hour. I could still cry at the drop of a hat so no real relief or release as yet - honestly don't think it will come until we have ziggy back and s/he is safely in our arms.

I wonder if you ever recover from the trauma of the miscarriage even after we finally have baby here.

Anyone here got an experience on that?

 

[pdmcd17]

miss c i know the pain will be less over time and the time it takes to get over it is different for everyone. Another baby will not take away the loss but does help to heal
the process.

thanks for the preseed advice ladies hoping to try it out real soon

 

[Garnet]

Helloo long lost TTC buddies,
Finally found you all again. Why is this thread not in the 35+ TTC. Okay maybe that is why I got lost.. How is everyone.. Any baby news???

 

[maryanne67]

i thought the name rung a bell welcome back garnet

 

[LLbean]

Welcome back!!

 

[samiam]

Oh Miss C. I'm so sorry that you had a tough weekend. It's not fun. My due date came and went and I thought I'd be okay. But honestly, I think the last mc really brought on the actual grief for the first mc. So hang in there. Just let yourself grieve and feel what you feel. There's nothing wrong about grieving whenever you feel sad. Fingers crossed for your clomid cycle!!

 

[Shelley71]

Miss C

 

[Reb S]

Poor Miss C, lots of hugs x
Welcome back, Garnet!! Great to see you back here again x

 

[Spoomie]

Dear Twinny

I thought of you many times over the weekend and hoped you were bearing up. I know exactly the feeling of wondering if this will colour your life from hereon in, I explained to a friend in a text some months after my mc that the experience had traumatised and changed me and I was unsure if I'd ever get back. I am still unable to see any of my NCT friends as they all have second babies or second babies on the way. My counselling ended last week and I explained to my counsellor that I was tired of feeling sad and being on a roller coaster of emotions every month and that I have to find some way to make room in my life to be happy again. This is progress for me because for months I didn't even want to be happy, it felt as if I was being disloyal to my lost baby by doing that and moving on without him/her. I don't remotely want to diminish Ziggy and your strong desire to bring him back by sharing this with you, just to tell you that I understand your pain. To give you some hope, the pain will fade away once you have your Ziggy again; remember that I had 2 mc before DS was born and I must confess that I thought little about my losses once he was growing well and even more so once he arrived. The acuteness of your pain will pass, (even if like me you don't really want it to) it just doesn't feel like it at this time. I can totally relate to feeling angry that you should not have been alone while Jake was at pre-school, at least half a dozen times during the course of DS's third birthday last week I thought about how the day would've been different if we had had our precious new baby here to share it. Hang on to Jake and to your belief that Ziggy is finding his way back

 

[pip7890]

:wave: Garnet

Miss C, my first pregnancy ended in a traumatic early miscarriage and back then such things were not openly spoken about. I quickly fell pregnant with my DS and spent the whole pregnancy checking for bleeding and expecting to lose him but I never openly grieved for my first loss. It was only when I was in labour and experiencing contractions that my grief for the loss flooded over me.

There have been times since when I would look at my boy and think what if? The reality for me is that without the loss I wouldn't have had my gorgeous son and that is something I just can't get my head around. That is why your belief in your baby's spirit, Ziggy, coming back to you is so wonderful to hear.

Whilst this pregnancy follows a loss, I feel more anger about that loss than grief. Someone out there gave me swine flu because they didn't cover their mouth or nose, or perhaps didn't wash their hands thoroughly and because of them I lost my baby. For months afterwards I felt like I would kill them if I ever found out who it was. I was being irrational of course, but that anger kept me going. I think it abated a little when I fell pregnant but my belief in my body that it can hold on to a pregnancy has gone. Every time I look in the mirror and see my growing bump I get scared it's going to be taken away from me. I won't believe it until my baby is safe in my arms.

I believe that every woman, whether she has experienced loss or unexplained infertility, has the right to grieve for the babies she should have in her arms; and I totally understand the drive that pushes us all forward to try and try again. I admire and respect you all so much.



Pip x

 

[Spoomie]

:wave: Garnet

Miss C, my first pregnancy ended in a traumatic early miscarriage and back then such things were not openly spoken about. I quickly fell pregnant with my DS and spent the whole pregnancy checking for bleeding and expecting to lose him but I never openly grieved for my first loss. It was only when I was in labour and experiencing contractions that my grief for the loss flooded over me.

There have been times since when I would look at my boy and think what if? The reality for me is that without the loss I wouldn't have had my gorgeous son and that is something I just can't get my head around. That is why your belief in your baby's spirit, Ziggy, coming back to you is so wonderful to hear.

Whilst this pregnancy follows a loss, I feel more anger about that loss than grief. Someone out there gave me swine flu because they didn't cover their mouth or nose, or perhaps didn't wash their hands thoroughly and because of them I lost my baby. For months afterwards I felt like I would kill them if I ever found out who it was. I was being irrational of course, but that anger kept me going. I think it abated a little when I fell pregnant but my belief in my body that it can hold on to a pregnancy has gone. Every time I look in the mirror and see my growing bump I get scared it's going to be taken away from me. I won't believe it until my baby is safe in my arms.

I believe that every woman, whether she has experienced loss or unexplained infertility, has the right to grieve for the babies she should have in her arms; and I totally understand the drive that pushes us all forward to try and try again. I admire and respect you all so much.



Pip x

Beautifully explained Pip. Many here will understand that fear that grips you every time you go to the loo during pregnancy, expecting to see the worst. At 12 weeks I believe that Miss C (and Sam, and I) had started to regain some faith that our bodies would not let us down, after all, we're led to believe it's a magical landmark. The feeling that your body has betrayed you is tangible

 

[Garnet]

Well crappy day! I had a little get together with Mom's group! Cleaned the house top to bottom, got all the stuff for floats and ice cream sandwiches, made the time to do this stupid event and everyone slowly cancelled. Fricky Frack do you stupid people have to cancel at the last minute when people do all this work to do the events. Last one I'm doing for this event. Now I have 2 dozen cookies, 2 gallon ice cream and root beer in my fridge. I'm pissed.....Sorry for the rant...

 

[Butterfly67]

Garnet, I could probably eat a dozen of those cookies for you!

 

[Spoomie]

Well crappy day! I had a little get together with Mom's group! Cleaned the house top to bottom, got all the stuff for floats and ice cream sandwiches, made the time to do this stupid event and everyone slowly cancelled. Fricky Frack do you stupid people have to cancel at the last minute when people do all this work to do the events. Last one I'm doing for this event. Now I have 2 dozen cookies, 2 gallon ice cream and root beer in my fridge. I'm pissed.....Sorry for the rant...

Shame Garnet. Put me down for half a dozen cookies too! In fact, invite us all round and you'd better get baking again in preparation

 

[Reb S]

Mmm, I'm on for it! Cookies....yum.