TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Just_married]

Hello all, I'm new to this group.

Quick history: me40, DH 37, ttc since coming off bcp last may. Tried 6 months au naturale, then began using fertility friendly lubricant, taking pregnacare conception & tried soy in January this year (days1-5 40/80/80/120/120). DH also been taking wellman conception & coq10 since 6 months.

Attended nurse led nhs clinic on Feb 15th, got internal scan, 3rd/10th/21 day bloods, both had urine tests & DH handed in SA. Two month wait to see consultant now so giving soy another go this month (days 5-9 80/80/120/120/120) plus smep plus different lubricant (zestica).

It feels like a long emotional time, but I'm aware it's not long compared to many.

I take my hat off to those lttc at my age, I am wondering if any off you have any advice. Not only on ttc, but on dealing with the emotional effects and relationships.

Thanks! X

 

[heavenly]

Hello all, I'm new to this group.

Quick history: me40, DH 37, ttc since coming off bcp last may. Tried 6 months au naturale, then began using fertility friendly lubricant, taking pregnacare conception & tried soy in January this year (days1-5 40/80/80/120/120). DH also been taking wellman conception & coq10 since 6 months.

Attended nurse led nhs clinic on Feb 15th, got internal scan, 3rd/10th/21 day bloods, both had urine tests & DH handed in SA. Two month wait to see consultant now so giving soy another go this month (days 5-9 80/80/120/120/120) plus smep plus different lubricant (zestica).

It feels like a long emotional time, but I'm aware it's not long compared to many.

I take my hat off to those lttc at my age, I am wondering if any off you have any advice. Not only on ttc, but on dealing with the emotional effects and relationships.

Thanks! X

Hi there, welcome to the group. You are doing everything you can and it's good you are seeing a consultant in the near future.

As for me, I'm 46 and we have been TTC for 4 years. My OH is a very laid back person luckily, he has just gone along with whatever I have demanded...poor sod. He has done 2 SA's and come along to appointments with me at the FS. We have had to pay for every test and appointment so it's not cheap but he wants this as much as I do.

He is fine about IVF and if we have to go down the DE route, so I am fortunate. The difficult bit is every month, TTC, the 2WW etc....I have tried to make sure that I don't put pressure on him if he's not feeling well or up to it, it only makes things worse if he feels he has to perform. It's not easy, but we are trying to stay positive and we are seeing the Director at a Fertility Clinic this Monday to discuss more test results.

It's important you look after yourself and try (I know it's hard), not to get too stressed. Lots of long walks, plenty of sleep etc...I am starting acupuncture next month as well, have heard great things about that.

Good luck to you on your journey. xxx

 

[Just_married]

Thank you heavenly, I'll gladly take your advice, you sound like a very positive person. I agree when it comes to my DH too, I don't even tell him my fertile time, I just give him the opportunity lol and if it happens that he can't/won't then I let it go (it has happened and I have been secretly fuming) because I don't want our physical relationship to only be about making a baby. Maybe this doesn't do us any favours in the long run, but I would rather wait a few more months for a bfp than become neurotic if you know what I mean?

Thank you for your advice once again, good luck with the acupuncture, be interesting to hear what happens...x

 

[heavenly]

Thank you heavenly, I'll gladly take your advice, you sound like a very positive person. I agree when it comes to my DH too, I don't even tell him my fertile time, I just give him the opportunity lol and if it happens that he can't/won't then I let it go (it has happened and I have been secretly fuming) because I don't want our physical relationship to only be about making a baby. Maybe this doesn't do us any favours in the long run, but I would rather wait a few more months for a bfp than become neurotic if you know what I mean?

Thank you for your advice once again, good luck with the acupuncture, be interesting to hear what happens...x

I know exactly what you mean. ---- Keep posting, this is a great thread for support. x

 

[booth19]

Welcome just married, I am sure you will get loads of great advice and support on this forum, certainly helped me through m/c being able to discuss it and write it down

Fingers crossed Heavenly that its this month

AFM haven't really tracked anything this month as I was seeing consultant and haven't taken any supplements as didn't want any false readings so will wait for AF next week and try again

 

[Reb S]

Welcome Just married! That's good advice from Heavenly and it sounds like you've got your head screwed on anyway. The only advice I'd give you is to find out what the NHS may or may not offer at your age, as if they're not going to help you, there's no point in waiting to find that out! Hopefully they'll give you a little help, but where I am once you hit 40 you're persona non grata!
Good luck x
AFM - no news x

 

[Nise]

Gosh, I feel like I haven't been on for days!! every time I did the stupid site was having maintenance - can't say I've noticed much difference though.

Pippi - thanks for the Coq info - you may have noticed we like a bit of coq in here!

Faithsmum - Welcome and sorry to hear about your recent mc. Make that appointment asap with a fertility specialist if you can. Good luck

Booth - 3 months to wait IS forever Keeping my fingers crossed for some good results. You're clomid experience sounds hideous. Good luck for this cycle.

PDMCD - Hope you're feeling better - yeah, don't forget to eat with the vits especially the Coq, it helps it work - I can't remember exactly how but something to do fats and stuff.

Heavenly - Fingers crossed for OH's SA results being good and good luck for Monday. I look forward to hearing about what you find out.

Just_Married - Welcome and may I suggest you nick some of your OH's Coq it's good for us girlies too, supposedly helps our geriatric eggs! As for the emotional side of ttc, well I think Heavenly's advice is good - it's a tough one though, that's for sure. I've been through the melt down stage and was miserable for quite a while. Eventually I concentrated on the things I enjoyed about my childless life and I'm now a lot happier, though I want a child more than anything and though my approach to ttc is a lot more relaxed I can't stop actually trying!

Reb S - Welcome back lovely, hope you've gotten over the jet lag, it's such a weird thing and always seems worse coming back.

AFM - well it's looking like a slightly more respectable CD12 for O this month - should know for sure tomorrow. Anyway the bases have been covered Now can somebody tell me how you do these multiple quote things coz when I click it absolutely nothing happens?

 

[faithmum]

Wecome just married! Good call on avoiding the nuerosis as much as possible! I'm 45 and have not had any of the official testing done yet. I did make an appointment with a gynae who works with infertility but it's not until May and that's just for a consult. At this rate I'll be 80 years old before getting into the nuts and bolts of treatment! This is month 3 trying soy. I tried 1-5, 2-6 and this month I did 3-7 (180, 180, 180, 200, 200). What is zestica?

Heavenly - you are going to love the accupuncture. I've only gone 3 times but they have been so incredibly relaxing and healing. My next appointment is this Sunday evening and I'm SO looking forward to it. I wonder if your accupuncturist will also give you chinese herbs? I'm drinking a tinture that is supposed to enrich my uterus. It seems to be part and parcel of the treatment.

Hello everyone else - I am relatively new to this board so I'm still getting to read through stories.

I'm 9 dpo and vowing not to test until at least 12 dpo because last month I poas daily from 8 dpo on and I made myself nuts. Not doing that again!
I had no CM this past month and don't know why. The month before I had several great days of EWCM. I was doing Primrose Oil and maybe that did the trick. This month I did Fertile CM, B6 and CoQ10 along with the soy for 5 days and who knows? Maybe I messed things up. Used Pre seed and the soft cup to help with the lack of CM.

 

[Just_married]

Thanks lovely ladies!
Faithmum zestica is just another brand of fertility friendly lube like preseed
Nise, I tried the coq, gave me awful wind and stomach upset even just at 30mg might be persuaded to try again sometime in future tho x
Reb you are absolutely right, LHA sent me a letter before my first FS appt warning me that 38 was their cut off age for assisted treatments, I will be getting diagnosis only, but still going ahead with them as at least want to know if there is anything worth trying. I don't know if this includes clomid or tubal surgery, these are some of the million dollar questions I have for when we eventually meet our constant.

Thank you to all who have responded, I feel very welcome here and it does seem much more calm than the other ttc forums, that's quite a relief!

I really appreciate everything you have all said in advice x

 

[heavenly]

Thank you to all who have responded, I feel very welcome here and it does seem much more calm than the other ttc forums, that's quite a relief!

With age, comes wisdom and patience....... ....who am I trying to kid.

 

[pdmcd17]

welcome justmarried

busy day today on here guess were all making up for the site being down. the shame i had to clean last night instead of being on bnb

I had my weigh in tonight i was down 2.5!!! yeah wierd considering im bloated to no tomorrow. AF is due tomorrow not sure what symptoms im having if they are pms or something else. im thinking something else not preg either

since yesterday im beyond full feeling and bloated even with a small meal
i only ate breakfast and then not again till almost 12 hr later cause i was so bloated and full feeling all day long its not nice.

 

[Reb S]

Thank you to all who have responded, I feel very welcome here and it does seem much more calm than the other ttc forums, that's quite a relief!

With age, comes wisdom and patience....... ....

Nah - With age, come wrinkles, geriatric eggs and an extremely good sense of humour! x

 

[faithmum]

welcome justmarried

busy day today on here guess were all making up for the site being down. the shame i had to clean last night instead of being on bnb

I had my weigh in tonight i was down 2.5!!! yeah wierd considering im bloated to no tomorrow. AF is due tomorrow not sure what symptoms im having if they are pms or something else. im thinking something else not preg either

since yesterday im beyond full feeling and bloated even with a small meal
i only ate breakfast and then not again till almost 12 hr later cause i was so bloated and full feeling all day long its not nice.

Congrats on your weight loss!! Hoping you see a BFP this month!

Reb ~ OUCH .... but true that.

 

[pdmcd17]

so i woke up this morning to the witch and with her arrival no bloating or fullness
not sure i like that new pms symptom

hopefully this month will be our month i really want a dec baby. always have with our 1yr mat leave and vacation i would get off 13 months and 2 xmas off that would be so nice.

well see if mother nature is in agreement lol

 

[heavenly]

Hey ladies, picked up OH's SA results today. I will be bringing these results to the Clinic on Monday but thought I would pick your brains as well.

From 3 years ago, the total count, motility and morphology have all improved but the volume has gone down.

Volume - 1.0mls (2009 it was 2.5mls)
Appearance - Normal (2009 - Normal)
Total Count - 58 million/ml (2009 - 43 million/ml)
Motility - 60% good forward progression (2009 - 47% motile - moderate forward progression)
Morphology - 92% abnormal forms (2009 - 94% abnormal forms)

Anyone in the know on here about SA - what can he do about increasing volume?

 

[Butterfly67]

I don't know about increasing volume heavenly but the rest of it sound pretty good

 

[heavenly]

Thank you. His count and motility has dramatically improved since his last test 3 years ago. So giving up smoking and taking Wellman Conception tablets seem to have helped!!

 

[Just_married]

Thank you. His count and motility has dramatically improved since his last test 3 years ago. So giving up smoking and taking Wellman Conception tablets seem to have helped!!

Hey heavenly it's good to hear the wellman conception actually seems to make a difference, it gets difficult to justify a tenner a pack for vitamins, bit if it actually works that's great! (my DH been taking them for 4 months).

The scientists we gave SA to told us the sperm takes 3 months to change in any way as cellular structure begins 3 months beforehand, she told my husband that it would take 3-6 months to see the full effect of giving up alcohol. He gave it up in January so should begin to make a difference beginning of next month, I'm pinning more hopes on that...

He handed his first SA lady week and was told if he didn't hear anything then to continue with FS appt in 2 months, but if it's not a suitable specimen then he would need to cancel FS appt and do another SA in 3 months. They really don't seem to appreciate how long 3 more months in the fertility of a 40+ woman really is.

Sorry, that 'thank you' turned into a wee rant lol, please forgive me! X

 

[faithmum]

so i woke up this morning to the witch and with her arrival no bloating or fullness
not sure i like that new pms symptom

hopefully this month will be our month i really want a dec baby. always have with our 1yr mat leave and vacation i would get off 13 months and 2 xmas off that would be so nice.

well see if mother nature is in agreement lol

Hugs and sorry the showed PDMCD

Heavenly ~ Congrats on getting good news about the SA. I've read that waiting sometime between bd'g can increase volume. I guess that's the thing though right? Bd everyday and try to get more troops in or wait and ramp up the volume per bd?

 

[heavenly]

Thank you. His count and motility has dramatically improved since his last test 3 years ago. So giving up smoking and taking Wellman Conception tablets seem to have helped!!

Hey heavenly it's good to hear the wellman conception actually seems to make a difference, it gets difficult to justify a tenner a pack for vitamins, bit if it actually works that's great! (my DH been taking them for 4 months).

The scientists we gave SA to told us the sperm takes 3 months to change in any way as cellular structure begins 3 months beforehand, she told my husband that it would take 3-6 months to see the full effect of giving up alcohol. He gave it up in January so should begin to make a difference beginning of next month, I'm pinning more hopes on that...

He handed his first SA lady week and was told if he didn't hear anything then to continue with FS appt in 2 months, but if it's not a suitable specimen then he would need to cancel FS appt and do another SA in 3 months. They really don't seem to appreciate how long 3 more months in the fertility of a 40+ woman really is.

Sorry, that 'thank you' turned into a wee rant lol, please forgive me! X

You rant away, that's what this place is for.

Well, we have our first appointment with a Fertility Clinic on Monday, I am getting my AMH results and I will bring OH's SA results with me. We want to discuss our options re IVF, my eggs or DE, cost etc....

Want as much info poss.

Well done to your OH, I am very proud of OH giving up smoking. I am pleased his results are good, at least one of us has bits that are working....