TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Spoomie]

Thank you ladies, I'm touched. Temp fell slightly today, but I woke up about 40 mins earlier than yesterday so not terribly reliable - I am long past setting my alarm at stupid o clock to wake up to take my temp! Who knows?! It is definitely curious that it has stayed so high when I stopped taking the progesterone on Friday, particularly as my chart often seemed to drop off from 9/10dpo (hence I decided to use progesterone cream in the first place), though I will not test again for another couple of days. No longer taking any herbs, supplements, acupuncture, reflexology, CBFM, OPKs etc etc - and my chart looks like a dream chart (for now), just shows doesn't it?! Chill out - there's a lesson I should've learnt 17 months ago, then I may not be in this position today???

Reb, I hardly dare think of it, what a dream week that would be, crack open the raspberry tea! xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Ooh Spoomie

 

[LLbean]

 

[ciarhwyfar]

Sorry it took so long. Had to find out where OH had stashed the camera cord.

As Reb requested:

Spoiler

https://i710.photobucket.com/albums/ww110/ciarhwyfar/me%20for%20posting/DSCF1183.jpg Easter https://i710.photobucket.com/albums/ww110/ciarhwyfar/me%20for%20posting/DSCF1186.jpg A week or so ago.

 

[LLbean]

OMG how cute are those little ones!!!! So sweet! LOVE it!

 

[Desperado167]

Beautiful kids

 

[booth19]

Evening Ladies, not been on for a few days - off celebrating OH 40th birthday.

Reb, have everything crossed for you and hope that it a big fat positive on Thursday

Spoomie, hope it s good news for you as well, I am now in the same mindset as you, taking nothing and if meant to be it will be.

 

[Spoomie]

Spoomie, hope it s good news for you as well, I am now in the same mindset as you, taking nothing and if meant to be it will be.

Thanks so much booth, in truth I know it is not good news, just a healthier luteal phase, which is good in itself because it helps me to feel balanced and as though I am not fighting my body anymore. I feel somewhat liberated to be free of all the supplements and hope you do too, though do genuinely feel that I have scuppered my own chances since last mc by not being able to let go of the pain and just let things be. I have been so full of angst about the loss for so long, predominantly because I fell over 2 days before I lost the baby and have always felt that I was somehow to blame, I think. I had a very strong feeling at the time that in saying goodbye to my baby, I was saying goodbye to our last chance for a sibling for our DS. At the time he would've been two when our baby was born, a perfect age to benefit from a sibling, but now he is only a couple of months away from being four and it feels like the moment has passed us by. I recall reading posts from people on the forum in those early months and wondering how they could possibly contemplate giving up, I was sure I would fight and fight until the reward was mine. However, it wears you down and reality creeps up on you month by month so I am trying to appreciate the wonderful life I have instead of mourning the little lives I have lost.

Sorry to go on and to be so maudlin! Quick, someone post something jolly and upbeat to combat my philosophising and introspection!!!

I really am very thankful that you are all wishing good news to come my way, thank you so much xxx

 

[LLbean]

Spoomie I think 4/5 years difference is better. My sister and I are almost 5 years apart and her kids, all 3 of them are the same way. I would not give up just for that. Just saying.

 

[Spoomie]

Bless you Elizabeth, no, that's not the reason, just trying to be realistic. After 17 months of almost wall to wall good timing of BD and every supplement, gadget and therapy known to woman (excluding Clomid and IVF) I have failed to fall pregnant. Just seems like, painful as it is, it is time to accept that I am beaten!

 

[LLbean]

Heck I tried 2 IVF cycles and here I am... Still trying lol. I still believe I can. I'm going to be 42 in a month! Sigh... Well I can dream right? Heheheh

 

[Mistyy]

Hi ladies I'm now Mrs Mistyy Back from honey-moon on Sunday, it was luuuurvley in Italy. Rained a fair bit in Sorentto, but when the sun came out it was glorious. (didnt notice the weather much anyway ) Pretty sure i ov'd while staying in Rome - so currently on the 2ww. But i'm not holding my breath. Getting quite fed up with the whole ttc thing to be honest now. Its just a smack in the face every month i could do without. Its getting me down that i have to renew my years subscription to FF in a few days. Humph. Any way .....

Wedding day was wonderful - thank you all for your words of wisdom before and on the day. I was literaly shaking with fear all morning. i only relaxed once it was time for photos and champers! Plus the sun shone all day - so we were so lucky there. Photos will be posted asap.

The girls were fabulous - they dressed me, kept me sane and packed me into the Rolls outside the house on the morning (before then taking off their heels and rushing back up to the house bare foot because we had forgotten a) the tip for the chauffer, b) one of the posies, c) the rings (middle daughter was ring barer) and d) to lock the house!) It took my eldest 15 minutes to lace me into my dress, bless her, and she did a perfect job. She was calm and organised (she's 19) All 3 looked stunning in their bridesmaids dresses - i was so proud of them. DH was caught in traffic getting back up here from London and was nearly late! But he was there looking very handsom at the alter for me. I was so glad to walk to his side and have him take my hands, as i was missing him and was nerous as hell. The rest of the world disapeared as we said our vows though, and the rest of the day was magical. I DID take a moment every now and again to take it all in, as you suggested Justmarried, and DH did too Happy sigh.

its taken me ages to read through all the pages i missed here and catch up on you girlies!

Reb - OMG so excited for you! It all sounds so positive, everything, everything crossed for you here.

Spoomie - i just wanted to say i know how youre feeling. You've done everything right and put in so much effort over the months - and yet are still waiting to be rewarded. Hugs hugs hugs. And some more hugs. Could this be your month though?

Off now to do a few more wash loads, and go food shopping. The down side of holls is the pile of laundry and the lack of food in the house when you get home.



Waves to newbies - waves to everyone - and to us all.

 

[Desperado167]

Awk mrs misty your day sounds perfect ,cant wait to see the pics , a honeymoon baby would be fab xxxxxx

 

[Just_married]

Aaw Mrs Misty, I have happy tears reading your post! Could relate to it all. Congratulations again xxx

 

[Just_married]

Bless you Elizabeth, no, that's not the reason, just trying to be realistic. After 17 months of almost wall to wall good timing of BD and every supplement, gadget and therapy known to woman (excluding Clomid and IVF) I have failed to fall pregnant. Just seems like, painful as it is, it is time to accept that I am beaten!

Hey chicken, I want to give you some encouragement as your spirit is flagging here. Don't give up!

2 stories: my friend who is a medical consultant tried for 5 yrs, perfect timing & supplements etc just like you. She tripped & twisted her ankle, had to take a few weeks off work and fell pregnant (?). She is due this week (aged 40).

Best ever story: my grandmother had 11 children from early twenties to 47yrs of age. She never used any contraceptives and between each child there was an average of 2 -3 yrs. She certainly wasn't infertile, she didn't breastfeed (so can't blame that) yet she didn't fall pregnant right away with any of them. From my calculations she tried for 1.5-2 yrs between some of them. Yet if this happens to any of us we worry worry worry....sometimes our bodies are mysteries, it seems they decide when and the only thing we can do is keep up BDing.

Keep tour chin up! X

 

[Butterfly67]

Aw mrs mistyy that sounds lovely. Looking forward to the pics too

Spoomie did you ? Xxx

 

[garfie]

MRS MISTY - The whole day sounds just magical - the way a wedding should be and as for the Honeymoon well...................

JUST MARRIED - Aw your stories are an inspiration to us all - it is hard and it is so much easier to just give up.

BOOTH - Did you go anywhere nice for hubbys 40th?

LLBEAN - My children are 22 months appart and were very hard work (especially with the eldest having autism) but wow lots of fun they still argue like cat and dog now

SPOOMIE - Have you tested yet or are you waiting? There is no blame in a m/c hun you need to forgive yourself - I often question if the reason I had one was because I was moving out and living in a caravan, lifting heavy furniture etc (before I knew) not being able to rest (who can when you are moving out) even down to not having a D&C (I couldn't leave my autistic son) so like you I also wonder if my chance has gone Each month though I start of very optimistic that this is the month - at least you have a healthier luteal phase

REB - Only a few more days to go - Love to PRUNE & RSAISIN


To all the other ladies.

AFM - FF put my ovulation date back by a day - so doubt it's my month - ah well you never know!



X

 

[Spoomie]

Ladies, I am so so grateful for you. You are amazingly supportive and I wish that I had you as my real friends instead of virtual friends. tested again (despite my assertion that I would not!) and still no happy news to report This is not my month, so just a waiting game. But you make it bearable xxx

 

[garfie]

SPOOMIE - Are you temps still up hun? they looked good last time I checked. Maybe the implanted late? Why do you think you are out? Until the shows her ugly fat face you are still IN Does your temp normally drop before AF or stay up?



X

 

[Spoomie]

Hi Garfie......Like you, I also start off each month with optimism......! The reason I think I'm out is because I just don't feel it, no real symptoms, just a bit of imagined queasiness, not even enough to call it nausea. My temps are so so weird this month as they never stay up this long. The reason I started to use progesterone cream (last month and this month) was because my temps often seemed to drop from 9 or 10dpo until af arrived at 12/13dpo so I figured this may be a problem and GP actually did a day 21 blood test this month that I have an appointment to discuss next week. I last used the cream on Friday, so four days ago, and no sign of temp dropping yet. I just think that there would be SOME hint of a line on a test by now Anyway, just been out for a run, so maybe that'll clear the cobwebs out of my ancient uterus and get things moving!! xxx

Mrs Misty, what a lovely report of your day. Glad you had a fab honeymoon too. I have to tell you that I decided not to renew my FFF membership and switched to the 'no bells and whistles' freebie service, and it's actually better that way. I was an obsessive chart over layer and that facility is no longer available to me, I always wanted to stick two fingers up to FFF when she told me my BD was on 'Good' and not 'High' and was mildly niggled by the points she gave me if I entered a whole load of symptoms in 2WW. In truth, I know enough about temping and my cycle by now (God help me, I've analysed the bloody thing long and hard enough!) to save my £££s and put them toward something nice. What with that saving and all the money I'm saving by not buying supplements, therapies and CBFM sticks these days and I think I might take us all on a girlie holiday

Butterfly, I caved in and tested again yesterday afternoon, snow white as the driven snow.......!

Just_married, thank your for your tales of hope. I know that at (just!) 44 it is not impossible and I love those stories from 'the olden days' but I can't help think that back then women had had so many children, their bodies had a better idea of what to do than mine does! (Out of four pregnancies I've only managed to produce one gorgeous baby so I think I am a bit of an SEN student when it comes to bearing children!!!) However, I also believe that their 'ignorance is bliss' state was a great help too. I mean, do you think your Gran had a BBT thermometer or ordered her CBFM sticks from Amazon??!!! Actually she probably had little time to pee, let alone consider whether to poas to see if she was ovulating with 11 children to take care of!!!

Reb.......big hugs for Prune and Raisin, dig, dig , DIG and divide little ones. Maybe my little pink line is waiting to show its face on Thursday, in unison with yours