TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Reb S]

Padbrat - I found this the other day, don't know if it could be of help, SSAFA Forces Help - agency specialising in adoption for families with one member in the armed forces x
Barnabibear, Maryanne, thinking of you both all the time x

 

[Pippi_elk]

Hi,

so sorry to hear about your baby MaryAnne. can't imagine what you must be going through. Hope you get all the support you need to grieve and keep posting here as I found lots of suppport here when I had my miscarriage.

Welcome Barabibear and also sorry to hear about your loss a year ago. Glad you are back on the road TTC. Its difficult trying to time BD and not putting your husband your pressure to perform. I talked here a month ago about how my husband medication was preventing him ejaculating...every night in a row. He has reduced his meds and its less of an issue now, but physiologically I know he is still concerned that he's not up to the 'job'
We got our BPB in Dec and we only BD once that month...despite previous months bd every day for 4-5 days.

How did you get on today with the SW Nise ?

Hello to everyone else...sorry don't have time to reply to everyone else.
I got AF today but was expecting her as my chart did n't look good this month. How about you Garfie my cycle buddie?

 

[garfie]

Pippi I've been keeping a low profile - not like me I know

There has been such sadness around this thread I didn't want to upset anyone - as I can't begin to understand what any of you ladies have been through please know though you are all in my thoughts and I read all your posts

I got my yesterday (which is exactly a year to the month I found out I was pregnant last year) before I lost it at just over 6w - I was devastated so I really cannot imagine what most of you are going through

I have had my HCG level taken and it's 32 (the Doc wants to repeat next week).



X

 

[padbrat]

Congratulation Garfie!!

Thanks for thinking of me Rebs! I know all about SSAFA and their adoption process... they are absolutely rubbish! A mate of mine tried for 4 years to adopt through them and they nearly broke their marriage... they are now going through a local council and it is a breeze in comparison. I am sitting back to see how they do this time...

How are you doing now Rebs?

 

[Nise]

Pippi - the meeting with SW is next Thurs & Fri, no more news today I'm afraid.

Today I'm liking Garfies news the most Congratulations and here's to a happy and healthy 9 months for you. We've had quite a few knocks these last few weeks in here so it's nice to see something positive.

Padbrat - Good idea to see how your friends get on, sorry to hear the agency specialising in adoption for the forces was such pants, sounds like they had an awful experience. Judging by all the stuff I've read over the past few weeks which has been an awful lot - I've found loads of information that covers almost everything except for 'Emotional Stability' I can find nothing on that, not for the child or the carers. Anyway with regard to your situation if it's possible for single people to adopt then you shouldn't have any problems, lots of people in the forces manage happy family lives and from what I understand from a friend of mine also married to the forces there is often a really good support network between the wives - that could go in your favor.

Reb - I hope you are okay lovely.

Nice to hear from Glowie and MissC just wish it could all be under happier circumstances.

 

[greens]

for Barnabibear
Probaly hard but is your husband eating plently veg and wholefoods.
Just wondering if diet might be effecting volume.
Zinc is needed and dump the caffiene, booze, cigs and stuff but maybe you are already doing that.
The pressure thing can get quite restrictive for spontaneity. I remind myself they stay alive if healthy and the environment is not too hostile for a few days which kind helps the date watching for me.

 

[Barnabibear]

for Barnabibear
Probaly hard but is your husband eating plently veg and wholefoods.
Just wondering if diet might be effecting volume.
Zinc is needed and dump the caffiene, booze, cigs and stuff but maybe you are already doing that.
The pressure thing can get quite restrictive for spontaneity. I remind myself they stay alive if healthy and the environment is not too hostile for a few days which kind helps the date watching for me.

Thanks greens. He's supposed to be losing weight and going to the gym. Lately because of the mc it has all gone to pot. Plus I've noticed stuff going from the cupboards etc so I think he's eating far more than I think. Secret fridge raider. He likes a cider and a glass of wine and loves junk food. It seems to call to him. Lol. I've got him taking wellman conception tabs, hopefully that will help and I'm trying to make sure veg or salad is on the table. I don't want to nag him too much at the moment but I may just have to if things don't improve.

 

[Desperado167]

Good morning reb ,how are you feeling ?

Hi Despie,
I am okay - putting my losses into perspective and trying to move forward into life without kids - very strange xxx
How is everyone else? Difficult things on the thread at the moment, holding both Barnibear and Maryanne in my thoughts and Nise too xxx

 

[Barnabibear]

Congratulations Garfie. Really pleased for you, its always good to hear of success. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months. Xxx

 

[padbrat]

Nise .... you are absolutely right.... there are plenty of us in the forces that have good family lives.... but it is different from those that aren't in the forces. Sometime we aren't treated the same. It is reassuring to think that single people suceed in this so there is a chance we could if this last attempt of ours fails.

 

[pdmcd17]

Congrats garfie!!!!

 

[Desperado167]

Garfie Happy and healthy nine months

 

[Spoomie]

Great news Garfie xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Congrats Garfie!!!!
That's brilliant news. hope you are able to relax and enjoy knowing you are pregnant.

I can take hope from the fact that you bd 3 days before ovulation and got your Bfp. it's a lot of pressure trying to bd for 3-4 days in a row. Funny when we got our Bfp in december we only bd once.
maybe it's quality and not quantity !

what should your HCG levels be? Are they testing yours since you had mc before?

 

[pdmcd17]

So I was in a great mood I got my divorce certificate today and can remarry in less then 20 days ( only for his to settle - and he was meeting his lawyer today for a new offer )

It's gorgeous summer weather I went for a hot & sweaty 5 k

After my run I was talking to my neighbour and the skank who lives across from me comes out with her bump. Ugh she has different men over all the time
She doesn't even have her 2 children full time or even half time only one weekend a month

Wham my mood died
It isn't fair

I'm happy for any of you guys or other couples Who get pregnant

Sorry I needed to get it off my back so I can settle again
I'm sure the fact that I'm 2 days late and took a ic test today and bfn doesn't help

 

[maryanne67]

Maryanne
Sad to read your experience.
Take the time you need to come through it and your husband to.
How we handle grief I expect is different for all of us, but recognising it and not burying it I expect is key.
If you need help to manage your grief I hope that it is available to you.
Take care.

Greens thank u xxx

OMFG Maryanne - I just read more of your post in reply and what happened, I seriously could not breathe when reading it. How amazingly brave and strong you are to be able to share. I truly truly admire how people continue to have hope and faith and you inspire me. I know it is early days and I am sure there are more dark days ahead but Joshua's soul is meant to be here and will return I just feel it, I don't know why. I have had you in my thoughts 24/7 and it will not go away. I am rambling now so will shutup.

Barnibear welcome to the most special group of women in the world, this is a safe place, a haven and the most supportive place anyone can be. I have never met and probably never will meet any of these amazing ladies but list them in my heart as friends, in some cases more than those in real life!! Ziggy led me here after my first miscarriage and these ladies kept me strong and determined after more losses but without them I would not have been able to help Ziggy back.

thanks miss_c altho i dont feel brave or strong but i have to have hope or what else is there , i do so hope your right and that joshua comes back to me i would love to think his soul lives on in a part of a future sibling and your right these ladies in here are always here when we need them and always seem to say the right things regardless of the situation ,thank you for thinking bout me and please dont shut up xxx

OMG I am in serious shock for you Maryanne I mean I HONESTLY cannot even imagine what you are going through right now

Barni - Thanks for mentioning me in your post, I am so very sorry for your losses

I suppose I want to come and offer you ALL more support and encouragement. Since I became pregnant with Jacob I have met LOADS of ladies who are over 40 and pregnant or have babies. There is a lady at my weigh in clinic who is 43 and has a little boy 3 days older than Jacob and I have met many more along this journey, including 2 of my midwives who were 43 and 46 when they had their LO's. It can and does happen.
Much love to you all

thank you glowie its so encouraging to hear of so many ladies over 40 pregnant or with babies it gives us all hope thank u xxx

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for such a warm welcome and kind thoughts. I hope to get to know you all a bit better now that I'm actually posting.

Well, back on the TTC road again, CD 21. I put my thermometer away in February because I think it was putting pressure on DH, a constant reminder every morning. I wasn't much better, a regular GP vistor whenever I had decided something wasn't right. I'm surprised they haven't banned me to be honest! February was the month that we got pregnant but now, this may be TMI so early doors, our problem (as well as the obvious age related) is that my poor DH has been really affected by our journey, so much so now that the "end result" is sadly lacking in volume.... sometimes I'm not even sure there is anything at all. I still have to keep ovulation time to myself or there's even more issues in BDing. This month is a write off but next month I'm wondering how I can be sexy, horny, carefree and keep him unsuspicious. It all used to be so easy.


Maryanne, I found it very difficult to put into words how I was feeling. I was numb and I think in shock at the beginning. "Speak" to me when you want, if not now you may want to a month or two from now and if you don't want to thats fine too. Sending you love and hugs.

thanks barnabibear, interesting that you say about your dh volume issue because after joshua was born and i realised i wanted to try to get pg again due to the lochia and sorry if tmi, well bd was a no no coz he doesnt like it when the painters are in, i found myself in the not so lady like blow job territory and found upon completion a definate fall in volume of sperm compared to what i was used to seeing , my dh dismissed it as a 1 off bad day that he didnt feel like it due to circumstances and felt no excitement due to this ,so after a couple of bd`s and i never told him i was worried his volume i think has increased , i hope it was just as he had said no excitement because after he said that i got him excited maybe it worked or id like to think it was the increase in sex as it had been relatively scarce being pg and very large , your right it is harder now trying to get them motivated without being too obvious , i cant offer much here coz i just attack dh into submission, think he just wants me to be happy and he loves it every 2/3 days or even 2/3 days off trot anyway
its getting easier i am posting now wouldnt even read on bnb for first 4 weeks i will get there and would like to talk to you just not yet finding the right time luv n hugs xxxx and thanks

Padbrat - I found this the other day, don't know if it could be of help, SSAFA Forces Help - agency specialising in adoption for families with one member in the armed forces x
Barnabibear, Maryanne, thinking of you both all the time x

thank you xxx

Hi,

so sorry to hear about your baby MaryAnne. can't imagine what you must be going through. Hope you get all the support you need to grieve and keep posting here as I found lots of suppport here when I had my miscarriage.

Welcome Barabibear and also sorry to hear about your loss a year ago. Glad you are back on the road TTC. Its difficult trying to time BD and not putting your husband your pressure to perform. I talked here a month ago about how my husband medication was preventing him ejaculating...every night in a row. He has reduced his meds and its less of an issue now, but physiologically I know he is still concerned that he's not up to the 'job'
We got our BPB in Dec and we only BD once that month...despite previous months bd every day for 4-5 days.

How did you get on today with the SW Nise ?

Hello to everyone else...sorry don't have time to reply to everyone else.
I got AF today but was expecting her as my chart did n't look good this month. How about you Garfie my cycle buddie?

thank you pippi_elk all you ladies are a great support its good having such caring friends on here sorry the witch got you xxx

Pippi I've been keeping a low profile - not like me I know

There has been such sadness around this thread I didn't want to upset anyone - as I can't begin to understand what any of you ladies have been through please know though you are all in my thoughts and I read all your posts

I got my yesterday (which is exactly a year to the month I found out I was pregnant last year) before I lost it at just over 6w - I was devastated so I really cannot imagine what most of you are going through

I have had my HCG level taken and it's 32 (the Doc wants to repeat next week).



X

Congratulations garfie heres hoping for a happy n healthy 9 months such lovely news to hear it really fills me with hope that we carry on getting bfps on this thread and thank you for your kind words and believe me your not upsetting me with such good news and i think every1 on this thread would echo the same ,Congratulations again xxx

 

[Mistyy]

Oh congtrats Garfie thats wonderfull!

PDMC - it's almost certainly due to the recent BFN that your mood plumeted upon sighting a bump! ((hug)) It can be hard, i know. Great news about your divorce coming through.

Personally if i'm going to get an attack of the green eyed monster its not over new babies or big bumps but preg announcements and early pregnancies (RL only - ladies on here excepted - I want you ALL to get BFPs ) Once another ladies preg is over the announcement and past the 16 week point (which is when i MCd) its fine and i can be normal and happy as larry for them. It's odd, and i hate that i'm like this, but i cant shake it

Maryanne - i had to smile about you attacking your OH into submission sorry. It is hard to motivate them at the right time without being obvious its ov week. DH and i went through a rocky patch a few months ago when he made it clear that although he was interested in my cycle he didnt want to be told when it was time! I mean why do we have to be the ones doing all the stressing!? However their pressure to 'perform' is harder than ours i suppose so .... <grudging acceptance of situation>. So these days i just try to keep him on hold for a few days on the run up to ov and then get all seductive over ov week. Seems to work as the 'perform stress' has all gone. Anyway - i'm so glad to hear you are finding it a little easier to post now petal. ((Hugs)) and strength to you

AFM - i'm feeling a bit shitty at the mo. It's 15DPO today and AF is due today or tomorrow. I dont feel hopefull at all and in fact and am giving up the accupuncture, the Q10 and the she oak (gave up the cups and the pree-seed yonks ago) I'll carry on with pre preg vits as they contain the folic acid. It would be stupid and self indulgant to stop those. Just worked out that the weekend DH is going on a 2 night stag do in Bognor in a couple of weeks is my ov weekend Great. He doesnt know, and there's not alot of point in telling him.

Been ttc with FF and all the bells and whistles and suplements for a year now. I'm checking my temps purely out of habit and vague interest. No actual hope at all. So sad for DH really. He so badly wanted a child of his own, and we were both soooo happy and joyfull when i fell pregnant last year. We were coasting ok before that. No expectations either way. Then the mc heart break. Now all this bloody stress and misery dragging on and on every month. No end in sight that i can see. I just want to turn my back on it all tbh.

Well, sorry, that all turned into a big me me me! AF is def on her way then it seems Just got to wait for the spotting to start.

x

 

[Glowstar]

Mistyy - just been looking at your charts they all look good. Both times I got my BFP's was the LEAST amount of DTD we had done in 8 months of trying I think it's good to get one or two DTD's in before ovulation to keep the sperm supply good and then only one or two just before ovulation and then around twice a week in TWW again to keep sperm supply good through out the whole cycle.
In fact I actually think that was the reason it worked, that and we used Instead Cups both times. So my advice would be don't stress when OH away for Stag Do, try and get a BD in day he leaves and ram a cup up there and keep it in for at least 12 hours
I reused my Instead Cups, just used to wash it out with antibacterial soap.

Sorry I'm waffling

 

[Desperado167]

Mistyy - just been looking at your charts they all look good. Both times I got my BFP's was the LEAST amount of DTD we had done in 8 months of trying I think it's good to get one or two DTD's in before ovulation to keep the sperm supply good and then only one or two just before ovulation and then around twice a week in TWW again to keep sperm supply good through out the whole cycle.
In fact I actually think that was the reason it worked, that and we used Instead Cups both times. So my advice would be don't stress when OH away for Stag Do, try and get a BD in day he leaves and ram a cup up there and keep it in for at least 12 hours
I reused my Instead Cups, just used to wash it out with antibacterial soap.

Sorry I'm waffling

Great advice sweetie and omg your new pic

 

[Reb S]

Garfie - wow! We really needed that good news. Here's praying for a lovely sticky bean! xxx