TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Butterfly67]

Garfie, congrats, that is lovely news, am so pleased for you. Can I ask how old you are?

to all you other lovely ladies

 

[garfie]

Hi Butterfly

I'm 41 hubby 32
Have been trying for nearly 2 years
Found out I was pregnant this month last year - m/c 6 w later

The only thing we did different was less at the time I was livid with hubby and I had a glass of pure grapefruit juice from when the witch left up until O. Just a small glass each day - I believe it gave the swimmers a comfier ride



X

 

[Pippi_elk]

AFM - i'm feeling a bit shitty at the mo. It's 15DPO today and AF is due today or tomorrow. I dont feel hopefull at all and in fact and am giving up the accupuncture, the Q10 and the she oak (gave up the cups and the pree-seed yonks ago) I'll carry on with pre preg vits as they contain the folic acid. It would be stupid and self indulgant to stop those. Just worked out that the weekend DH is going on a 2 night stag do in Bognor in a couple of weeks is my ov weekend Great. He doesnt know, and there's not alot of point in telling him.

Been ttc with FF and all the bells and whistles and suplements for a year now. I'm checking my temps purely out of habit and vague interest. No actual hope at all. So sad for DH really. He so badly wanted a child of his own, and we were both soooo happy and joyfull when i fell pregnant last year. We were coasting ok before that. No expectations either way. Then the mc heart break. Now all this bloody stress and misery dragging on and on every month. No end in sight that i can see. I just want to turn my back on it all tbh.

Well, sorry, that all turned into a big me me me! AF is def on her way then it seems Just got to wait for the spotting to start.

x

Poor you Misty. Maybe it'll make it easier if you accept that you may never have a child but continue bd around ovulation but not make it a big focus anymore. I know....easier said than done and when your life has revolved around temping, supplements, charting etc. its hard to let it go.
We had accepted that we'd never had kids until I got a BFP. However, I hope that in a years time if we have had no success I will be able to put my advice into practice!

Mistyy - just been looking at your charts they all look good. Both times I got my BFP's was the LEAST amount of DTD we had done in 8 months of trying I think it's good to get one or two DTD's in before ovulation to keep the sperm supply good and then only one or two just before ovulation and then around twice a week in TWW again to keep sperm supply good through out the whole cycle.
In fact I actually think that was the reason it worked, that and we used Instead Cups both times. So my advice would be don't stress when OH away for Stag Do, try and get a BD in day he leaves and ram a cup up there and keep it in for at least 12 hours
I reused my Instead Cups, just used to wash it out with antibacterial soap.

Sorry I'm waffling

Have to agree Glowstart with less bd and getting a BFP. I got my BFP and we had only bd once over my most fertile days (and a few days earlier to freshen things up). I see Garfie had less bd than she wanted and yet got her BFP. I'm a bit of a control freak/perfectionist so want to give ourselves the best possible chance so want to bd every day but maybe I need to relax a bit. I suppose I'm writing all this more to convince myself its ok not to bd everyday and let my husband have a night off next time.

I tried using a resusable menstruation cup (soft cup it may have been called) and left it in overnight but never never again.
I really struggled to get it out, I could just reach it but it had twisted itself a bit and I could n't get a grip on it to pull it (I had n't trimmed the stem or anything). In the end I persuaded my husband to have a go and bless him he spend 30 mins pulling and poking but managed to manoveur it down. Both of us were never so relieved when we felt it release !!!!
I really thought I was going to have to go to A&E. Would have been so embarrasing as all the semen came spilling out when he got it out.

I know they tell you to relax etc. to take it out so I don't know if that what the problem or if its my long vagina !(but I have really long fingers too!).
I'd only use one again if I could tie a string onto the end of it. I just threw mine straight in the bin as the experience was so traumatic. And no BFP that month either.

I might cut back on the CoQ, I noticed for the last 2 cycles my temps have been slow to rise after ovulation. Its either my cycles are still a bit funny after the mc in february or its the CoQ (I only started taking it in Feb after the mc). Give that the CoQ is so expensive,going down to 400 mg a day would also save me some money.
Anybody on 800 mg CoQ notice anything different with their temps?

 

[pdmcd17]

misty i understand where you are coming from. I thought last night i dont want to take any more suppliments. I dont temp or use all my opk (maybe randomly) i found it too stressful. Somedays im optimistic and others im not. I do know we are only goint to continue ttc till dec 12 or march 13.

i dont want to decrease our bding its way too much fun and maybe im just too horney i want it alot (watch that be the key to getting a bfp though).

doh is gonna go for a semon analysis finally (sucky thing is he has to book an appoitment to do it and the lab is 1 hr away - wierd)

i have a ultrasound next friday to see what is happening with my cyst.
still no sign of the witch - im having tons of pms symptoms i just want to go away
mother nature doesnt seem fair sometimes

but i got my second positive new in 2 days my dd got into her first choice unniversity program. Im so proud of her, sad how this is a confirmation i didnt do such a bad job in raising her- lol!!!!

so im hoping i get my third good news (itd be nice if it was my ring, bfp or his ex finally settles) as they say things come in threes.

 

[ciarhwyfar]

Maryanne, I have no words. You are a strong, beautiful lady.

Garfie, congrats! Keep fingers crossed.

Glowie, adorable picture.

Reb, I don't know what to say. I still keep looking to see if anything has changed as I was sure something would happen. Glad you can move on.

As for me, I will most likely move back to lurking but it will be sporadic as I will be on the road for a month (starting May 13) to go see the oldest graduate from college. Driving across the country and back. Everyone be well and hope to see more good news!

 

[Barnabibear]

Hi all,

I'm very confused about what's going on with things this month. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas. I don't temp because it was too much for dh, a constant reminder of requirements but I do POAS from day 10. I used to ovulate on day 11-13 but after my stillbirth last year my ovulation moved to day 16 and was regularly day 15 or 16. OPK +ve usually on days 15 & 16. This month seems to be a bit wacky , I know its the first cycle after mc but I don't know when my ovulation is, should I be grabbing dh or not??

+ve OPK CD 11 though to 16 EWCM on CD16
-ve OPK CD 17 & 18

This all led me to think that I ovulated on CD16, as per usual.

Today I have EWCM again and so I POAS and OPK +ve. I thought I was 6 DPO but am I ovualting now?

I will try to get a session in just to cover all bases, but was wondering if anybody else has experienced anything like this or has any ideas what's going on?

Thanks.

 

[Just_married]

Hi all,

I'm very confused about what's going on with things this month. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas. I don't temp because it was too much for dh, a constant reminder of requirements but I do POAS from day 10. I used to ovulate on day 11-13 but after my stillbirth last year my ovulation moved to day 16 and was regularly day 15 or 16. OPK +ve usually on days 15 & 16. This month seems to be a bit wacky , I know its the first cycle after mc but I don't know when my ovulation is, should I be grabbing dh or not??

+ve OPK CD 11 though to 16 EWCM on CD16
-ve OPK CD 17 & 18

This all led me to think that I ovulated on CD16, as per usual.

Today I have EWCM again and so I POAS and OPK +ve. I thought I was 6 DPO but am I ovualting now?

I will try to get a session in just to cover all bases, but was wondering if anybody else has experienced anything like this or has any ideas what's going on?

Thanks.

I would poas hcg as last time I read a post like this the lady was wondering why she had 2 lh surges when the second was actually hcg hormone showing on opk strip.

It's also possible you're having a very short cycle and due for af soon as some of us get an extra lh surge just before af.

Xxx

 

[garfie]

Hi Ladies I hope you are all okay

I'm a bit confused I took a digital this morning and it says 2-3 (I was expecting 1-2) after all I'm 14DPO

I am trying to relax until I go for further blood tests but its so hard

BARNA - I've not got a clue hun but wish you lots of

CIAR - Thanks hun - have a safe journey

PDMC - Fingers crossed your third bit of good news comes soon



X

 

[mumoffive]

Sorry to but in..i often lurk on my old thread lol..not ttc but just to say if you are only 15dpo and its coming up with 2-3wks..you must be producing lots of lovely hormone..so all good!!! Also, it could be twins lol!!

 

[padbrat]

Hey Garfie, all mine go straight to 2-3 on a CB digi. I never have had a 1-2 despite testing early. All mine have had good fast HBs too.... it is my genetic thing that kills my babies... so I would take it as a good thing!

 

[pdmcd17]

Garfie I'm not sure either could just be sensitivity on those theist aren't 100%

Barn it could be your hormones are still a bit out of sorts after mc

So I still don't know what my third positive is but I do know it won't be a bfp
Af came this morning just after we bd'd lol
I'm praying my next will be his ex accepts this last offer

I really am not too upset she came, I have this feeling it will happen for us once things are settled and I/ we can relax and really get on with our lives

Today is a relaxing day as tomorrow is my 5 k race I'm praying for around 40 mins ( I'd be happy with that considering I'm only back at it for four months)
Have a great sat ladies

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi all,

I'm very confused about what's going on with things this month. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas. I don't temp because it was too much for dh, a constant reminder of requirements but I do POAS from day 10. I used to ovulate on day 11-13 but after my stillbirth last year my ovulation moved to day 16 and was regularly day 15 or 16. OPK +ve usually on days 15 & 16. This month seems to be a bit wacky , I know its the first cycle after mc but I don't know when my ovulation is, should I be grabbing dh or not??

+ve OPK CD 11 though to 16 EWCM on CD16
-ve OPK CD 17 & 18

This all led me to think that I ovulated on CD16, as per usual.

Today I have EWCM again and so I POAS and OPK +ve. I thought I was 6 DPO but am I ovualting now?

I will try to get a session in just to cover all bases, but was wondering if anybody else has experienced anything like this or has any ideas what's going on?

Thanks.

Barnabibear, did you test out your hcg after your m/c? I think it took me a number of weeks for my hcg to go back to zero after my m/c so the opk might have still been picking that up (sorry I can't remember how long ago you mc'd). Also on my cycle after m/c I got 2 lots of EWCM I think but I didn't actually ovulate either time, so things will be a bit messed up for sure.



Garfie, yes 2-3 is good news. In fact in theory from 14dpo you are 2 weeks so that sounds right

pcmcacdc sorry about AF and good luck in the race

 

[Pippi_elk]

Barbibear: I got +opk for about 3 weeks after mc. I did it every few days and they gradually faded away to neg.
Think the hcg gives opk a positive reading.. After my first cycle was over I could see a temp shift so I think I ovulated a few days later than a normal cycle.

 

[Nise]

Hi all,

I'm very confused about what's going on with things this month. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas. I don't temp because it was too much for dh, a constant reminder of requirements but I do POAS from day 10. I used to ovulate on day 11-13 but after my stillbirth last year my ovulation moved to day 16 and was regularly day 15 or 16. OPK +ve usually on days 15 & 16. This month seems to be a bit wacky , I know its the first cycle after mc but I don't know when my ovulation is, should I be grabbing dh or not??

+ve OPK CD 11 though to 16 EWCM on CD16
-ve OPK CD 17 & 18

This all led me to think that I ovulated on CD16, as per usual.

Today I have EWCM again and so I POAS and OPK +ve. I thought I was 6 DPO but am I ovualting now?

I will try to get a session in just to cover all bases, but was wondering if anybody else has experienced anything like this or has any ideas what's going on?

Thanks.

Hey BB - that all sounds bloody confusing, though a lot of the theories I've read from others above all make sense. The earlier opk+ could well have been left over HCG. The only regular cases of several opk+ throughout cycles that I know of are those of my dear friends who have pcos, it is very frustrating for them. I do hope this strangeness all leads to something positive for you though.

As for me, I will most likely move back to lurking but it will be sporadic as I will be on the road for a month (starting May 13) to go see the oldest graduate from college. Driving across the country and back. Everyone be well and hope to see more good news!

Have a safe drive and a great time Ciarhwfar - we'll all be here when you get back.

misty i understand where you are coming from. I thought last night i dont want to take any more suppliments. I dont temp or use all my opk (maybe randomly) i found it too stressful. Somedays im optimistic and others im not. I do know we are only goint to continue ttc till dec 12 or march 13.

i dont want to decrease our bding its way too much fun and maybe im just too horney i want it alot (watch that be the key to getting a bfp though).

doh is gonna go for a semon analysis finally (sucky thing is he has to book an appoitment to do it and the lab is 1 hr away - wierd)

i have a ultrasound next friday to see what is happening with my cyst.
still no sign of the witch - im having tons of pms symptoms i just want to go away
mother nature doesnt seem fair sometimes

but i got my second positive new in 2 days my dd got into her first choice unniversity program. Im so proud of her, sad how this is a confirmation i didnt do such a bad job in raising her- lol!!!!

so im hoping i get my third good news (itd be nice if it was my ring, bfp or his ex finally settles) as they say things come in threes.

Well done to your DD, that's great news. Hope OH's SA goes well, and you're 3rd bit of good luck if not a bfp will be good news on the cyst. Hmm maybe the sonographer can give you a heads up on how many eggies you've got going in there too! I would ask

AFM - i'm feeling a bit shitty at the mo. It's 15DPO today and AF is due today or tomorrow. I dont feel hopefull at all and in fact and am giving up the accupuncture, the Q10 and the she oak (gave up the cups and the pree-seed yonks ago) I'll carry on with pre preg vits as they contain the folic acid. It would be stupid and self indulgant to stop those. Just worked out that the weekend DH is going on a 2 night stag do in Bognor in a couple of weeks is my ov weekend Great. He doesnt know, and there's not alot of point in telling him.

Been ttc with FF and all the bells and whistles and suplements for a year now. I'm checking my temps purely out of habit and vague interest. No actual hope at all. So sad for DH really. He so badly wanted a child of his own, and we were both soooo happy and joyfull when i fell pregnant last year. We were coasting ok before that. No expectations either way. Then the mc heart break. Now all this bloody stress and misery dragging on and on every month. No end in sight that i can see. I just want to turn my back on it all tbh.

Well, sorry, that all turned into a big me me me! AF is def on her way then it seems Just got to wait for the spotting to start.

x

Awe, sorry you're feeling stressed and miserable, it does all get to you every now and again. I gave up a lot of stuff I was doing too I now just take the supplements that are good for other things too!

Mistyy - just been looking at your charts they all look good. Both times I got my BFP's was the LEAST amount of DTD we had done in 8 months of trying I think it's good to get one or two DTD's in before ovulation to keep the sperm supply good and then only one or two just before ovulation and then around twice a week in TWW again to keep sperm supply good through out the whole cycle.
In fact I actually think that was the reason it worked, that and we used Instead Cups both times. So my advice would be don't stress when OH away for Stag Do, try and get a BD in day he leaves and ram a cup up there and keep it in for at least 12 hours
I reused my Instead Cups, just used to wash it out with antibacterial soap.

Sorry I'm waffling

I tried using a resusable menstruation cup (soft cup it may have been called) and left it in overnight but never never again.
I really struggled to get it out, I could just reach it but it had twisted itself a bit and I could n't get a grip on it to pull it (I had n't trimmed the stem or anything). In the end I persuaded my husband to have a go and bless him he spend 30 mins pulling and poking but managed to manoveur it down. Both of us were never so relieved when we felt it release !!!!
I really thought I was going to have to go to A&E. Would have been so embarrasing as all the semen came spilling out when he got it out.

I know they tell you to relax etc. to take it out so I don't know if that what the problem or if its my long vagina !(but I have really long fingers too!).
I'd only use one again if I could tie a string onto the end of it. I just threw mine straight in the bin as the experience was so traumatic. And no BFP that month either.

I might cut back on the CoQ, I noticed for the last 2 cycles my temps have been slow to rise after ovulation. Its either my cycles are still a bit funny after the mc in february or its the CoQ (I only started taking it in Feb after the mc). Give that the CoQ is so expensive,going down to 400 mg a day would also save me some money.
Anybody on 800 mg CoQ notice anything different with their temps?

Oh my goodness - I've not tried the cups and after reading that I don't think I will, what a horrible experience.

Hi Ladies I hope you are all okay

I'm a bit confused I took a digital this morning and it says 2-3 (I was expecting 1-2) after all I'm 14DPO

I am trying to relax until I go for further blood tests but its so hard
X

I agree with the others, I think this is very good news.

Sorry to but in..i often lurk on my old thread lol..not ttc but just to say if you are only 15dpo and its coming up with 2-3wks..you must be producing lots of lovely hormone..so all good!!! Also, it could be twins lol!!

Hey Mumoffive, good to know you lurk a little and things are going well for you. How's that little one doing?

So I still don't know what my third positive is but I do know it won't be a bfp
Af came this morning just after we bd'd lol
I'm praying my next will be his ex accepts this last offer

I really am not too upset she came, I have this feeling it will happen for us once things are settled and I/ we can relax and really get on with our lives

Today is a relaxing day as tomorrow is my 5 k race I'm praying for around 40 mins ( I'd be happy with that considering I'm only back at it for four months)
Have a great sat ladies

So sorry AF came, but I'm glad your feeling relaxed about it - though tomorrow doesn't sound very relaxing! Good luck, I'll be willing you on.

AFM - Wondering what's going on with O as I've been getting lots of twinges and things in I assume the ovary area - this is not normal for me, nor is a nice mid cycle O either. I think I have finally managed to move my O day from a horribly early CD10 to a much more respectable CD12 - 13. It's CD13 today and I got a positive opk yesterday so fingers crossed. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Wish the weather was better.

 

[Reb S]

Garfie- the others are right - the tests count you from when you conceived so 2-3 is brilliant. x

 

[maryanne67]

just a quick post will catch up when i get motivated,,,i used the instead cups the cycle i got pg with joshua, this was the first time i had used them ,,, yes they are tricky at first to remove but once you get the knack theyre not so bad and i would definately use them again,,,luv and good luck to every1 xxx

 

[Barnabibear]

I would poas hcg as last time I read a post like this the lady was wondering why she had 2 lh surges when the second was actually hcg hormone showing on opk strip.

It's also possible you're having a very short cycle and due for af soon as some of us get an extra lh surge just before af.

Xxx

Thank you Just_married. I think I'm just going to have to see when AF turns up so I can guess. This is when temping is really really useful. I wish I'd temped now.

Garfie I'm not sure either could just be sensitivity on those theist aren't 100%

Barn it could be your hormones are still a bit out of sorts after mc

You could be right there. I was hoping that I would magically skip back into my normal pattern and hope I got lucky first try after mc but I have a feeling its not to be. It took 7 months to get my last pregnancy so I'm being very optimistic!!

Barnabibear, did you test out your hcg after your m/c? I think it took me a number of weeks for my hcg to go back to zero after my m/c so the opk might have still been picking that up (sorry I can't remember how long ago you mc'd). Also on my cycle after m/c I got 2 lots of EWCM I think but I didn't actually ovulate either time, so things will be a bit messed up for sure.

I did test a couple of times. Stressful that it was, getting a +ve pregnancy test when I knew that there was nothing there anymore. I did a pregnancy test after 7 days, still +ve but did another one on CD 11 and it was -ve so was hoping OPks would be trustworthy. Rubbish!!

Barbibear: I got +opk for about 3 weeks after mc. I did it every few days and they gradually faded away to neg.
Think the hcg gives opk a positive reading.. After my first cycle was over I could see a temp shift so I think I ovulated a few days later than a normal cycle.

I so wish I had temped now! Its the only fail safe way of knowing about ovulation. It just stresses out my poor dh too much. Its not as if I can do it in secret either. Crikey, so confused about what to do and what not to do.

Hey BB - that all sounds bloody confusing, though a lot of the theories I've read from others above all make sense. The earlier opk+ could well have been left over HCG. The only regular cases of several opk+ throughout cycles that I know of are those of my dear friends who have pcos, it is very frustrating for them. I do hope this strangeness all leads to something positive for you though.

Thank you, Nise! I just wish something would make sense.


I have a -ve OPK today so even more confused. I guess its just a wait and see when AF turns up now. All very strange and mysterious.

 

[mumoffive]

Hello Nise. My baby girl is nearly a year!!!! I cant believe it! She is walking around the furniture. Not a day goes by that i dont look at her and think just how lucky i am. She is just the sweetest. Glad to be ending my childbirth days on a high!!
Really hope its your turn soon. Goodluck to everyone ttc. xxxx

 

[garfie]

Hi Ladies - how are we today

Thanks for all your advice and support about the digital test. I am still worried about my bloods but I guess it's out of my hand now

MUMOF5 - I never thought of twins - DOUBLE TROUBLE

PADBRAT - What can they do about the genetic thing for you? Sorry I don't understand

PDM - How did your race go hun?



X

 

[padbrat]

Hey Garfie.... the short answer is nothing... it is in my DNA.

Basically... a girl has an XX chromosome... so if one of the X's is rubbish she can switch it off and use the other one....

A boy is a XY chromosome so if the X is rubbish it kills him....in my case..... for others it can cause severe disability.

It is something I am born with... it affects me in other ways than fertility... and if I have a baby girl she will have it too.