TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

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Ladies

I am touched. Butterfly, Despie, Garfie, PD and Barnabi you are very kind to send hugs, sorry to upset you Butterfly. I rarely post anymore as I am trying to move forward, but I read your posts every couple of days or so. Most of you were not on the thread early 2011 but Miss C and I had a lot in common, same age, both having our first child at 40 and both having a 12 week mc so we shared a close bond and I wanted to check whether Ziggy had made it here yet. I'm obviously happy for her but it kind of accentuates my own position; I now accept that time has run out for me, my 12+ week mc was actually my third and, with no hint of happy news since Nov 2010 I guess I am just not particularly talented at having babies. It is a miracle that I am still married because for a year I was a monster to live with, such was my zeal and determination and my leave-no-stone-unturned, take-every-supplement-and therapy-going attitude, so I am now focusing on being happy and congratulate myself that I have actually managed to achieve some balance and semblance of normality and harmony! I am more grateful than I can ever express for my precious DS but much wants more, and I so wanted a sibling for him but life is cruel and as the song goes, 'You don't always get what you want'!! I wish more success for you all :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
 
Barnabibear said:
Reb S said:
Barnabibear - are you in the UK? If so, let me know whereabouts and maybe H2B's teacher can give you a recommendation for a bloke? No pressure, just if you feel like it. He was a real expert, but I think he's moved onto different areas now. I can ask him if you like xxx
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Wow Reb, that would be lovely of you. :flower: Yes I'm in the UK. I can be more precise in a personal message if I can send one.? Still have to convince my lovely DH to go with it. We're having "chats" this weekend.
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PM me - bit busy just now but will respond asap x
 
Spoomie said:
Ladies

I am touched. Butterfly, Despie, Garfie, PD and Barnabi you are very kind to send hugs, sorry to upset you Butterfly. I rarely post anymore as I am trying to move forward, but I read your posts every couple of days or so. Most of you were not on the thread early 2011 but Miss C and I had a lot in common, same age, both having our first child at 40 and both having a 12 week mc so we shared a close bond and I wanted to check whether Ziggy had made it here yet. I'm obviously happy for her but it kind of accentuates my own position; I now accept that time has run out for me, my 12+ week mc was actually my third and, with no hint of happy news since Nov 2010 I guess I am just not particularly talented at having babies. It is a miracle that I am still married because for a year I was a monster to live with, such was my zeal and determination and my leave-no-stone-unturned, take-every-supplement-and therapy-going attitude, so I am now focusing on being happy and congratulate myself that I have actually managed to achieve some balance and semblance of normality and harmony! I am more grateful than I can ever express for my precious DS but much wants more, and I so wanted a sibling for him but life is cruel and as the song goes, 'You don't always get what you want'!! I wish more success for you all :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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Spoomie - I sing that song ALL THE TIME!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
It's been really quiet on here
I hope everyone is good

We're back from our trip it was fun and went by too quickly

I was fertile when we were gone, it was good lots of bd'ing and relaxing
It'd be cool if I got pregnant on our trip as doh is from the east coast

I also realized my next time I'd be fertile doh is in the states for work that whole period
 
Well my fingers are crossed PMCD (oh God, I bet I got those letters round the wrong way)!

It seems I am not the only one to have been awol, hope everyone is fine and dandy. I've just finished 2 gruelling 6 day weeks at work which I got a cold in the middle of so have felt quite ropey, but I'm recovering now and catching a few days off before the next job begins next week.

Heard from SW on Saturday, she's back from her hols and wanted to know how the meeting with LG had gone - She also wanted to know if now we had met whether we wanted to proceed!!! I told her absolutely. So waiting again but will hopefully have some more visits to look forward to. :hugs:
 
Fingers crossed pdmc! And great news Nise, hoping things can start moving now!

Afm, been absent too. Had an hsg last week which as u can see from my siggie, showed one blocked tube. There's also the possibility both were blocked & doc opened one. So some months (like this one) when I ov from left - it's impossible. Trying to stay positive. It's making me a bit short with people eg when they feel they have to give their advice and say 'relax and it will happen' I feel like replying 'oh right, I didn't know relaxing could unblock Fallopian tubes'. My cloar friend is getting married in a month and she has become a total bridezilla. It's so unlike her, but I'm having to bite my Tongue. She pulled up for not replying to her last week & accidentally sending a text to her landline. When I replied that I was sorry but had been in hospital for tests & didn't get good results which has distracted me a bit - she didn't even reply!

Anyway, enough of my self-pity!

Hope you are all well this week? What's been happening? X
 
Nise that is exciting fx'd cross for you

Just married big hugs on the blocked
It sucks your friend is bridezilla - I'm hoping it gets better

I'm praying I don't become one, we're looking at the chapel tomorrow and the banquet hall hoping we like it and book it so I can send out the save the date in the next few weeks as oct 13 is really close
Big hello to everyone else
 
Oh I'm excited my lukenbooth broach came- my hon ordered it for me
My plan is to wear it in my hair on my wedding day

To the Scottish ladies Are there any taboos to wearing it on your wedding day or altering it I want to add some bling to it
 
pdmcd17 said:
Oh I'm excited my lukenbooth broach came- my hon ordered it for me
My plan is to wear it in my hair on my wedding day

To the Scottish ladies Are there any taboos to wearing it on your wedding day or altering it I want to add some bling to it
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I haven't heard of any tabboos, just that it's a love token so it's right that your hon bought it. Apparently it brings a blessing with fertility, milk production and protects your future baby from evil when you use it as a shawl clip too lol. What an investment eh? xxx
 
I sense a big rush on lukenbooth broaches is coming........:haha:
 
Spoomie said:
I sense a big rush on lukenbooth broaches is coming........:haha:
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:)

You've inspired me for my friend btw, she was struggling to think of a theme for her wedding in September and I made a hfe lust of themes and stuck luckenbooth/claddagh at the end and she loved the idea! Well done lol x
 
Hello everyone. Pleased to see there's some action on here again.

Wish you all the best pmdc.

Afm... It's been a tough time this last week. Had a heart to heart with DH at the weekend and we agreed to try assisted methods for ttc. But a few days later he was all stroppy and when I asked what was wrong he said he didn't want to try anymore. He could see being mid 50's with e teenager. It's really pulled the rug from under me. I'm a bit numb right now. Is it selfish to want a child at this time of life? Is it wrong to be 60 when they're starting their adult lives? He reckons he wouldn't have the patience, he wants to do things like travelling. There is no compromise in this situation. I can't force him it's a life long commitment but then I end up having to give up on the one thing I wanted out of life. He keeps saying if we'd met years ago there would be no problem but we didn't so that doesn't help. So, maybe this is it for us ttc.
 
Oh Barnabibear, I know how you feel. If Steve was my age I'd be able to persuade him to keep going i think but he's also saying - it's not fair on the kid; we wouldn't be able to cope with a teenager when we're just about to retire; what about the money for retirement etc... it is really hard, as it's all true, but you have to remember you only live once.
I'm sure that's NO help at all!!!!!! xxx
 
Lol, now we all know what to put on our Christmas list!

I too have thought about the age thing - but not for long, I'm lucky coz I have experienced it from the other angle - I was bought up by Grandparents from the age of 2 1/2 and it didn't make a jot of difference to me, I called my Grandma mum and she is still alive, in her 90's and in Australia so I don't see her much - part of me thinks that older parents who have done most of the things they wanted to are good because they know who they are and they are ready to pass on experience, they tend to have more patience and time for their children - I'm not saying they've finished with their own lives, far from it - I've still got a stack of shit I want to do but they are more in tune with themselves iyswim. :hugs:
 
Nise said:
Lol, now we all know what to put on our Christmas list!

I too have thought about the age thing - but not for long, I'm lucky coz I have experienced it from the other angle - I was bought up by Grandparents from the age of 2 1/2 and it didn't make a jot of difference to me, I called my Grandma mum and she is still alive, in her 90's and in Australia so I don't see her much - part of me thinks that older parents who have done most of the things they wanted to are good because they know who they are and they are ready to pass on experience, they tend to have more patience and time for their children - I'm not saying they've finished with their own lives, far from it - I've still got a stack of shit I want to do but they are more in tune with themselves iyswim. :hugs:
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Thanks for making me feel so much better :kiss::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
 
Reb, order one for me too! :haha:

Re: the age thing, I'm with Nise 100%. I know that the truth is 30-35 was probably the optimum age, but we didn't do it then, did we? Or maybe some of you did and are on to round 2! If it's any consolation then I know that I bring many many things to parenting that I would not have had to give in my twenties or thirties. I feel it is a cruel cruel trick of nature that our bodies don't want to play ball in our forties because I think it's the perfect age to parent. Speaking personally, I have more experience of life, more patience, am more appreciative of the amazing things my DS says and does and is, and I know that I would have been 'less' in every department 10 or 20 years ago. I'm not saying I'm perfect now but then it was all about me and now it's all about him. I look at young Mummies when we are out and about and see so many who are possibly only ticking the boxes (husband: check, nice house: check, baby or 2: check), by no means all of them but in my heightened state I spot the ones who are. I don't begrudge them, that's not what I'm saying, I just say that they may not have that same appreciation that we (would) have at our age. So tell your OHs it isn't all doom and gloom for the old folk! They may wish that they could charge around the garden endlessly with their offspring, but if they can only charge around the garden for 10 minutes with their offspring, they should not forget that they will bring many other qualities to the table that they would not have brought as younger men.

And BTW, my parents were very young when I was born, 18 and 19, and during my childhood I always wished they were older because I felt it was more respectable - weirdo, I know..... I guess we're never happy with what we have, my DS will probably be embarrassed that I'll be turning 50 when he's 10 which only proves that a parent's job is to be uncool in their child's eyes whatever age they are!!!
 
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