TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Butterfly67]

Mistyy, sending you big hugs and I really hope you get your baby

Miss C Ziggy/Eli is gorgeous, massive congrats again

Well I am just writing to say good luck to everyone and lots of I am done and am now hoping to look at adoption but we will see.

:wave:

 

[LLbean]

Miss C

 

[pdmcd17]

Mrs c wonderfully beautiful little boy congratulations

misty that was well written it is a difficult journey, i pray you get your little one

butterfly are you calmer with the decision to stop ttc? i hope the adoption process goes well for you

 

[Spoomie]

Beautiful Ziggy. Be relaxed, content and happy now my Twinny; your family is complete and your journey is just beginning xxx

 

[Nise]

Awe Misty what a passionate post. I'm so glad you and your OH are able to be so open with each other, it makes everything somehow easier when there is two of you against the world, especially when there is so much pain and the world seems so unfair. I really hope you'll be making a little cousin very soon.

Miss C - Congratulations on the safe arrival of little Eli, he is one gorgeous boy. YOU DID IT!!!!!

Butterfly - I wish you so much luck with the adoption journey, as you know I'm going through it too so we can keep each other company.

AFM - Nothing but the witch going on really and lots of waiting. A bit like ttc really!

 

[Just_married]

It's amazing how everyone's journey is different here yet one common dream is shared. Good luck to the adopters, congrats on Eli! And to all those fellow tryers huge hugs.

Dh and I pretty gutted today. On 18th cycle, managed to get a cancellation to see fs for follow up to hsg. Basically given one blow after another - you're too old for nhs iui, you're too old for nhs ivf, you don't qualify for clomid & although you've one good tube, the other filled but didn't spill so if you do get pregnant you will need close monitoring as you're at higher risk of an ectopic.

Just trying to locate my PMA, I know it's here somewhere!

 

[pdmcd17]

Just married big hugs
Did they have anything promising to say

 

[Mistyy]

Miss C - Wonderfull, wonderfull, wonderfull You give us all hope

Butterfly - keep us posted about the adoption process. Sending right back and the best of luck. Do you feel a weight has been lifted stopping TTC?

Nise - waiting again keep us posted. Yes, it is best to try to have a united front. It takes work though! lol.

Just married - huge i think you have been amazingly brave to go and get tests done. That goes for all you lovely ladies that have gone to face the music, as they say. (I'm too afraid of the bad news to go. How silly is that?) So be strong just. Most of what they've told you is crappy financially speaking - but not physically speaking it seems. You have one good strong tube - focus on firing out those eggies!

I've just been watching BBC Breakfast doing a piece on how women are evolving socially at a fantastic pace - working longer, being more successfull, marrying later, and therefore wanting to start a family, or a second family later in life. Average age of a mother having her first baby rose to 31 for the first time last year apparently. They've got experts sitting on the couch shaking their heads and shrugging and saying 'oh how sad that nature isn't evolving at the same pace. Women just aren't fertile after a certain age. But what can we do?'

Well we can bloomin well offer fertility treatment on the NHS after the age of 38 perhaps, and try to turn around the unwanted/unplanned teenage pregnancy boom in this country which is costing us a fortune! Grrrrr!

Anyway - i'm not doing another massive post I didn't intend to yesterday, actually, it just all came flooding out. The sad thing in all this is i don't actually believe i'll fall pregnant again at all tbh. I'm TTCing and charting these days just so that i don't wont have the awful regrets of 'if only we'd tried' when the menopause does come No good reason for this pessimism other than the amount of time we've been trying without success

Enjoy the sunshine if you've got some today, it's actually not raining here today

 

[Butterfly67]

Mistyy, I totally feel a weight has been lifted.

 

[Barnabibear]

Hello ladies, and thank you for all your thoughts about us in our 40's having teenagers in our mid 50's. I read with interest and most of you think the same as myself. I don't want to regret not trying. I've lost my beautiful boy when I was so close. I still got to hold him but leaving hospital without him was painful beyond all measure. I want a baby and all the ups and downs that it encompasses, the unconditional love I am willing to give, regardless of age etc.

When I was in my 20's I wouldn't have coped, or afforded it. I hadn't found the 'one', someone I could see as an always. I finally found him when I was 37. We decided to have a family when I was 39, and my signature says what happened next. I didn't even contemplate that something would go wrong, but here I am.

DH has changed his mind, he still has reservations about the how we cope in later life but he does want a child. It was the ivf etc that freaked him out. If it happens naturally it's meant to be, he says. So, at least we have that. Now if we can just sort out our issue of no end product from his good self we might actually be able to ttc. Problems, problems.

Miss C big big congratulations, so pleased for you. I have read your journey on here, and your pma has been fantastic.

Mistyy, really feel for you hunny. It's not easy. My sister in law is now pregnant with her fourth so early next year I will be in the same boat. I hope I manage to be as brave as you when we visit her and her new baby.

Garfie, pleased to hear you're back on track. Good luck.

Sending best wishes and warm wishes to everyone else that I haven't mentioned in this post.

 

[Just_married]

Just married big hugs
Did they have anything promising to say

Not really - I could understand why DH was so upset. I explained that she wasn't aware we hadn't saved up for ivf and that she had a professional responsibility to tell me about ectopic risk.

We've decided to save like crazy for 18months, no holidays or social life basically, and I've found a non-profit clinic in Scotland that has a great reputation and is not as expensive as others. I'm hoping that we conceive naturally before that. If we have to wait that long I will be 42 and it'll be less likely to succeed, but we are not giving up. That's not to say we are bouyant, both just frustrated at the mystery of not conceiving before now.

Thanks for asking

Just married - huge i think you have been amazingly brave to go and get tests done. That goes for all you lovely ladies that have gone to face the music, as they say. (I'm too afraid of the bad news to go. How silly is that?) So be strong just. Most of what they've told you is crappy financially speaking - but not physically speaking it seems. You have one good strong tube - focus on firing out those eggies!

I've just been watching BBC Breakfast doing a piece on how women are evolving socially at a fantastic pace - working longer, being more successfull, marrying later, and therefore wanting to start a family, or a second family later in life. Average age of a mother having her first baby rose to 31 for the first time last year apparently. They've got experts sitting on the couch shaking their heads and shrugging and saying 'oh how sad that nature isn't evolving at the same pace. Women just aren't fertile after a certain age. But what can we do?'

Well we can bloomin well offer fertility treatment on the NHS after the age of 38 perhaps, and try to turn around the unwanted/unplanned teenage pregnancy boom in this country which is costing us a fortune! Grrrrr!

Enjoy the sunshine if you've got some today, it's actually not raining here today

Misty, how amazing would it be if they changed the criteria! But as the whole family planning summit is probably just another way to save money by reducing teenage pregnancy, I'm assuming they will keep the money and spend it on something useful like rescuing another greedy bank

So glad I have you lot as I know you understand the sadness and anger I'm feeling at the mo.

 

[pdmcd17]

so af is on her way im starting to spot. i hope she arrives today as doh leaves next sun right as im most fertile. so if she starts today i will maybe have a small window of oppurtunity.

i had a melt down yesterday im so tired and stressed. with packing to move having contrators in to quote praying it can be done before i have to be out of my place. work is busy and the office is moving and hormones out of sorts

i bailed on a team party i was too tired i did nothing last night but when i noticed the spotting i had a proper bawling session. why is it when we really want something it is the hardest thing to get (rhetorical).

i feel bad for doh he is so paitent and kind with me i actually apoligised to him for not being able to get pregnant he would be a great dad. but i now realise my journey is nearing its end. were still trying till next mar but if it doesnt happen by then were done

for me it isnt the age of us or having teens in our 50-60 it is more financial do i want a child in unniversity when im retired. i do find the support we all get on her to be amazing i wouldnt be sane if it wasnt for the help

doh said something so cute hes like itd be better if you werent this cycle as youd be showing in your dress lol and hes like if we get preg this cycle you could annouce it lol
hes so sweet makes me smile. (i dont think it will happen till renos are done and im moved and im less stressed

when to stop ttc for everyone it is personal decision that every couple has to make.

 

[Mistyy]

Butterfly -

Just married -

Barnabi -

pdmcd - (what does that stand for hun? Then i might be able to remember it properly)

We all seem to be going through the mill a bit at the mo. Optimism a bit thin on the ground. It's a bitter pill to swallow, coming to terms with the fact that just wanting and yearning for something sooooo badly cant help in this case. I'm trying to get to a place in my head where i'm going to keep on plodding away ttc - but not holding my breath IYKWIM? Not letting it rule my life. <wishfull thinking? lol>

Can i just say i think it's nice that we can be honest about feeling like giving up ttc and/or in fact going through with giving up ttc here on this thread. And still keep posting. It's not just a relentless cheery baby-dust factory. NOT that i mind a bloomin great handful of baby dust every now and then

In fact - to us all

Love and strength to you all x

 

[pdmcd17]

Misty did you mean rhetorical

If so its more a comment written in the firm of a question with no answer required

We're camping this weekend - Hopping to go for a run and bike some trails
Part of me would rather be home I'm so tired - I think I'm fighting a bug or a bad mood
Have a great

 

[Reb S]

Wow - what a lot has been going on here!
Miss C - HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!! You made it, I'm so pleased for you.
As to everyone else - we're all in different places and not much good news in the way of BFP's on this thread for some time. What can I say but hugs to all.
Just Married - please don't mind me saying this, but don't save up - borrow. Time really is of the essence - my 2 IVF's were only a year and a bit apart but hugely different results - 21 eggs each time (over-stimulated both times) 1st time aged 40 all eggs fertilized - one Grade A blastocyst; another grade B - pregnancy, MC. This time aged 42 only 7 eggs fertilized; no blasts - one morola and one almost blast - neither made it. Time matters. Sorry...xxxx

 

[pdmcd17]

Sorry I accidentally hit unsubscribe so I need to post to resin scribe

Hope everyone is having a good saturday

 

[Just_married]

Wow - what a lot has been going on here!
Miss C - HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!! You made it, I'm so pleased for you.
As to everyone else - we're all in different places and not much good news in the way of BFP's on this thread for some time. What can I say but hugs to all.
Just Married - please don't mind me saying this, but don't save up - borrow. Time really is of the essence - my 2 IVF's were only a year and a bit apart but hugely different results - 21 eggs each time (over-stimulated both times) 1st time aged 40 all eggs fertilized - one Grade A blastocyst; another grade B - pregnancy, MC. This time aged 42 only 7 eggs fertilized; no blasts - one morola and one almost blast - neither made it. Time matters. Sorry...xxxx

I wish it were possible, but as I'm self employed & dh is musician with irregular income then nowhere would entertain us. Plus I think having to pay back thousands ossibly still with no children together it would be soul destroying. Unless you know someone who would lend us it interest free lol x

 

[maryanne67]

hi girls long time no speak for me just been stalking and plodding along ,,miss_c big congrats he is gawjuss

just married if only interest free loans were that easy i would go ivf route too,,,if only x

pdmcd17 enjoy the camping hope the weather holds out x

misty keep plodding hun,,x

reb some bfp`s round here would be great

every1 else good luck x

afm witch showed up last week first proper af since joshua so waiting to see what happens next but have started using the cbfm on cd 10 but still low

so for every1 heres some

 

[Reb S]

I wish it were possible, but as I'm self employed & dh is musician with irregular income then nowhere would entertain us. Plus I think having to pay back thousands ossibly still with no children together it would be soul destroying. Unless you know someone who would lend us it interest free lol x

Family?? Rich uncle?!? Barclays bank chief?!?!? I'm a musician too, so I know how you feel. But paying off debt, even if you're childless, is better than regret... Not trying to bully you here!!! Just try everything you can then you can look back with peace xxx

Maryanne, hope you're doing okay, lots of hugs xxx

 

[maryanne67]

Hi ladies bit quiet so thought id disturb the peace.hope everyones doing ok any news anyone?

I started using the clearblue fsrtility monitor last month n got lows then highs but no peak which i expected first month but as was spotting lightly probs wasnt a proper cycle so thinking that i reset the monitor when my first proper af turned up am on cd17 now was chuffed yesterday morning to get a peak on cd16 so got some in and hoping for sum more in the morning have had some pains and bloating on peak day so fxd.

For everyone still trying lots of and good luck x