TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Desperado167]

Reb, order one for me too!

Re: the age thing, I'm with Nise 100%. I know that the truth is 30-35 was probably the optimum age, but we didn't do it then, did we? Or maybe some of you did and are on to round 2! If it's any consolation then I know that I bring many many things to parenting that I would not have had to give in my twenties or thirties. I feel it is a cruel cruel trick of nature that our bodies don't want to play ball in our forties because I think it's the perfect age to parent. Speaking personally, I have more experience of life, more patience, am more appreciative of the amazing things my DS says and does and is, and I know that I would have been 'less' in every department 10 or 20 years ago. I'm not saying I'm perfect now but then it was all about me and now it's all about him. I look at young Mummies when we are out and about and see so many who are possibly only ticking the boxes (husband: check, nice house: check, baby or 2: check), by no means all of them but in my heightened state I spot the ones who are. I don't begrudge them, that's not what I'm saying, I just say that they may not have that same appreciation that we (would) have at our age. So tell your OHs it isn't all doom and gloom for the old folk! They may wish that they could charge around the garden endlessly with their offspring, but if they can only charge around the garden for 10 minutes with their offspring, they should not forget that they will bring many other qualities to the table that they would not have brought as younger men.

And BTW, my parents were very young when I was born, 18 and 19, and during my childhood I always wished they were older because I felt it was more respectable - weirdo, I know..... I guess we're never happy with what we have, my DS will probably be embarrassed that I'll be turning 50 when he's 10 which only proves that a parent's job is to be uncool in their child's eyes whatever age they are!!!

 

[garfie]

Hi Ladies

Just popping by to say hi to you all and to let you know I'm thinking of you all and reading your posts.

At the moment I'm in limbo land just waiting and waiting and waiting oh and trying to keep myself busy while I do


for all you lovely ladies



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[ciarhwyfar]

Sneaking in a post here but while age can be a factor, in my case, my paternal grandparents are alive and well at 92. My parents are 70 and 73 this year. My parents have raised some of their grandchildren and are working on some of the great-grandchildren. I don't think that alone should make the decision but I can see how it can be a factor.

Unless I get hit by a bus, I firmly expect to see my little one make it to at least her 30's.

 

[garfie]

Evening Ladies

Sorry I've not been on for a few days - I've been feeling a bit confused

As you know I am 3 weeks post DNC and I have been testing positive, so today I went for HCG levels test and I've just got my results 9 so everything is coming to an end

I knew this would be the case after all I had a DNC but somehow deep down I was hoping I was one of the women you hear about who get pregnant straight away

The hospital said I could test in a week? What for FALSE hope I say.

So now I just wait for the and try again - let's hope it doesn't take another year.



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[alin3boys]

aww so sorry hun its like going through it all over again

 

[garfie]

You are right it is and at the moment I feel beyond disappointed and sad.

This was my fourth pregnancy (I never thought I would hear myself say that)

So next BFP will be my 5th baby I just hope it doesn't take as long.

and lots of to all you wonderful ladies



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[Desperado167]

You are right it is and at the moment I feel beyond disappointed and sad.

This was my fourth pregnancy (I never thought I would hear myself say that)

So next BFP will be my 5th baby I just hope it doesn't take as long.

and lots of to all you wonderful ladies



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Aw Garfie really sorry lovely ,massive hugs coming your way

 

[alin3boys]

garfie how long did it take you to concieve,with the 2 i have lost i have concieved almost straight after with my 1st loss,took 12 months to concieve mc at 8 weeks and concieved month after,with my 2 nd loss took 18 months to concieve ended in mmc at 12 weeks,went on to concieve again 3 months later.

hope as quick for you although i'll never forget my baby angels and getting a tattoo done in remembrance

 

[Pippi_elk]

Hi everyone,

My heart goes out to you Barnabibear over OHs decision that he does n't want kids due to his age. I guess its a very individual thing but I think parenting teenagers in your 50's would be ok.....Considering the population is living longer and is generally healthier....50 does n't sound that old. But I'm not a parent so I don't know really how it would be....and maybe I am looking at everything with rose tinted glasses.
For me I know it would be a hard slog but hopefully the negatives would outwieght the positives. I just feel that when I'm 60 I'll regret not even trying....hopefully I will be able to accept the outcome if we never have a child.

I guess this is something you have to go through together....maybe he feels pressurised by the idea of IVF etc and a little panic has set in. Hopefully you can both work through it and come out the other end closer as couple whatever the decision you arrive at.

Garfie, wishing your a BFP soon. This is my 5th month ttc after Mc....also hoped I would be one of these women who conceived quickly after a MC too....it only took us 5 months to conceive initially but have a feeling trying to get pregnant a 2nd time is going to take longer.

PDMCD17....hope you brought back a holiday bean.

AFM
Just after ovulating and it worked much better this cycle where we bd every 2nd day. I tried to suggest bd again last night just for good measure as I think I ovulated yesterday. This would have been bd 2 nights in a row... OH was n't really keen but gave it a shot but his medication interfered with things so hope the bd from ealier was enough.
We found it so much easier to bd every 2nd day....libido is better and its more enjoyable.

I met a work colleague of OH yesterday in supermarket. I don't know her very well but she's pregnant and had been unwell so we were chatting about that. I asked her 'when are you due'...she looked at my kinda funny....and said I'm 38, I'll be 39 in October.
She must have thought I said 'what age are you' !!!
She was really embarrased when I told her I was n't asking what age she was....but it was funny. I'm glad I set her straight though as she said she'd have left thinking that I was a cheeky cow!
I told her my age....42 last week to try and make it a bit less awkard!

 

[garfie]

Morning Ladies

Looks like the is here no warning no nothing just BAM! (even had a temp increase this morning wth???) - so now I am totally confused about my body

Onto a new cycle now ladies - lets hope we all get our BFPS





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[Just_married]

Garfie, sorry about af! I guess now you have a conclusive answer eh? Fingers crossed for this month! Xxx

 

[pdmcd17]

garfie at least you didnt have to wait too long, FXd for this month for you


I have a pms question - i have never had this before but my boobs started hurting yesterday and this morning when i woke up ouch- has any one else had this im about 9-10 dpo (i dont wnat to get my hopes up_)

 

[Nise]

I sometimes get tender breasts close to AF but not really ouchy. Keeping my fingers crossed for you, I like out of the ordinary symptoms but I understand you don't want to raise your hopes to much - hard not to though, isn't it.

AFM - Da witch is in da house! boring bitch! CD1 and here I go again.

 

[Just_married]

Pdmc, I get sore boobs in week before af most months, but I really really really hope it's a good sign for you xxx

 

[alin3boys]

I only get sore boobs when pg and not till around 10-11 weeks

 

[garfie]

Nise - Sorry the damn has got you - hope she isn't to evil

PD - I also have sore boobies both when pregnant and when the witch is due - I think pregnancy boobies feel different kind of hurt from under the armpit (at least mine did). If its a new sign for you hun then maybe it's a positive one

Justmarried - I kinda have some answers, but some people are making me doubt that this is a proper cycle

It feels like one to me I started day 24 and I am on CD3 cramping but light (all normal).

The worry someone said is your levels have to go down to 5 and below before you bleed, then hormones kick in and your af comes a few weeks later.

Well my level was 9 on Friday so very possible it dropped to below 5 by Sunday which is why I thought my hormones were kicking in - now I am confused

Pippi - I remember once when I worked with the homeless and there was a lady there and I said to her oooh when are you due, (I was thinking maybe I could give her a bit extra food for her and little one) she said I'm not I'm just fat! oops I never assumed after that a hard lesson learnt lol - just thought I'd share

Are you in the tww now hun? - hope it goes fast for you.

Alin - I conceived my two boys within 22 months of each other (although I was younger then ) my first angel it took 9 months and my second a year, hoping this one does not take as long.

Desperado - Thanks for your lovely thoughts

In fact thanks ladies for all your support each day is getting a little bit easier, whilst I will never forget at least I can get through each day.



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[pdmcd17]

i normally do get tender breast before af, but never in the morning. this morning they were just a tad tender

i did a ic test and bfn (im about 11dpo) but im expecting af to be here with in 3-7 days
and the next cycle if she comes in 7 days will be a write off as doh will be in colorado when im fertile

I love all the positive support we all give and recieve.

 

[Mistyy]

Big, big hugs for those with the

Barnabie so sorry to read that your DH is having a wobble re ttc at the mo. Perhaps he will change his mind after a little reflection? It's so hard when you think you're 'carrying' your partner emotionally - and it must have been a horrible shock to find he's not really on the same page as you with this right now. Really really hoping he comes around hun

pcmd fingers crossed here too (funny - i got sore twinges this morning, but i havn't ov'd yet so no idea what that is)

Garfie - and i hope AF is over quickly and your body plays ball and goes into a nice rhythm again.

Justmarried sorry to hear your friend is being a bridezilla. I tried hard to gaurd against getting OTT in the spring, (3 months yesterday. Where has the time gone?!) before my wedding. Bare with it - hopefully she will return to normal soon and make amends!

AFM -
Statistically: CD9. Expecting ov next Monday ish. 15th cycle since MC.
Mentally: Fragile.

I have to confess to have been struggling with my mental state due to 2 births close in the family. I've mentioned it before here. I feel like such a bitch. One SIL (DH's bro's wife) had her baby in Feb, and the other (DH's sister) had hers 5 weeks ago. DH has no children of his own. I have 3 by ex. DH is 10 years younger than me.

I've said here how overjoyed we were when i fell preg last year. Neither of us was actually expecting for me to conceive. Me because of my age, he because of past health probs.

We went to visit each baby abut a week after the births respectively, to give gifts and see the new arrival. That was a little wrenching - holding the new baby, talking about BFing etc - but fine. DH and i both had to mentally prepare a little. DH is so understanding. I apologised to him for being a bit wobbly about it, and he said he was finding it hard to see his brother and sister with something he wanted so badly himself and lost. We are so so pleased for our family. It's not that we feel bad towards them - just grief for our own loss. We always stay happy and smiley in front of the family.

Anyway - sorry this is turning into a blooming essay - my PIL have been in Cyprus for 7 weeks. They've not long returned and MIL summoned all the family around together for dinner in London at hers this Sat just gone. Totally understandable of course. She wanted all her 4 adult children plus DPs to get together with the new additions to the family. A joy-full time of course.

Well it was all a bit chaotic and the day revolved completely around the 2 babies. They both cried pretty much non stop. We all took turns to hold and photograph the babies being held and photographed by everybody else! Dinner was a was a shambles with 10 adults unable to manage no more than 3 sitting down at once together because of baby stuff going on. Every converstaion seemed to turn miraculously round to something related to birth or baby clothes or breast feeding. My DH, his bachelor brother and i found ourselves in the kitchen together more than once. Not by design, just out of a natural urge to escape the baby fest in the living room i guess

During the drive home (hour and a half or so) Dh asked me if i was ok. I'm ashamed to say i got a bit tearful. He was lovely as always. I apologised again. Later we had a few drinks together and i lost it totally. Really bloody sobbed! Havn't cried like that since just after the MC

THEN my lovely DH got a bit teary and admitted he'd been smoking again while at work (he gave up 3 years ago) and had even smoked a couple of joints recently offered to him on site. All because of the stress at work and feeling guilty about being jealous of his siblings. He has an addictive personality and has struggled with alcoholism in the past. So all this is quite a big deal for him. A big step back. He had been hating keeping all this from me. He said he felt better to have got it all out. I gave him a massive cuddle and told him i loved him come what ever.

Yesterday he came home from work and said he'd chucked his fags out the window on the way home and we had a laugh about that. He said he was ok now. I really hope he is. He said he didnt want to sink back into the state he was in in his 20s. He said he'd been being daft and has pulled himself together now.

I just wonder how long this is going to go on (just like you lot are with this post probably ) this emotional roller coaster after the MC. I'm fine untill i have to have new babies round me. So is DH. But it's so sad. I feel like i'm to blame for bringing him down

Massive apologies for that great long ramble - but it felt good to get it out. Thank you ladies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Miss_C]

Just wanted to drop by and say thanks to all of you Ziggy is here! Every single one of you helped me on this journey and without you I can categorically say I would not have made it.

Eli Samuel born on July 3rd at 15:27 weighing in at exactly 4kg's. I was hospitalised on the 28th due to Ziggy not staying in one position and going from breach to transverse to oblique all in the same day so with an unstable lie like that and cord placement we are massive risk of cord prolapse so we ended up with a c section.

Keep going ladies and it ain't over til you say it's over, yes the journey is really really hard and soul destroying there is no getting away from that. I wil be stalking and if there is anything I can do or info I can share please ask.

Hugs and kisses to you all and mostly thank you for being there when Ziggy needed you to help me bring him through.

couple of pics to click on if you want to see.

Spoiler

https://i49.tinypic.com/2u8wiz5.jpg https://i46.tinypic.com/jsnf6c.jpg

 

[garfie]

Beautiful One proud mummy there!



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