TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Butterfly67]

Garfie, I agree, you need refering. The problem with GPs, with all due respect, is that they are exactly that - general practitioners - and hence do not have the specialised knowledge an FS might have. I think that is proven by the fact that she said you O - looking at your charts after your m/c that is debatable but sometimes we seem to know more about ttc than a general doc because we spend too much time investigating everything

It is normal as far as I know for your cycles to be messed up but I know there are things they can do to kickstart your cycle properly again so hopefully now that you ahve a referral things will start happening - in fact they will probably start happening naturally because that is sods law

 

[Mistyy]

Oh Garfie, you have me welling up with the dream about your Dad I dream about mine every now and again, and i know i'm dreaming IYKWIM and that he's gone - so i cherish the dream. Well done on the phone getting your referral. I hope you get your appt. through nice an quick

Pippi, Spoomie + Butterfly - thank you for making me feel less of a weirdo for sometimes behaving like it's FF that'll get me pregnant, instead of my DH! LOL

AFM - just spotting now. Happy dayz. Car is repaired, yay!

I've said this before i think, but i've given up everything except the daily vitamin with folic acid in it, and timing through temping (don't even do that very carefully anymore) Oh and the odd OPK.

I've done cups, agnes castus, raspberry leaf, a big black tablet that i cant remember the name of, tablets for him, Q10, legs in the air, cough mixture, pre-seed, grape fruit juice, both of us abstaining from alcohol, the right kind of orgasm wacko, and good old fashioned wishing as hard as i can. Nowt has worked.

My DH and i don't talk about it much as it upsets both of us - we're not out of the woods yet emotionally, but we're getting there - but we did have a chat about ttc last week. He asked if i still temp. (i do it on the loo in the mornings, not in bed, cant be arsed with the bleeping and the squinting in the dark) and if we still 'do it' at the right time. Bless him I said yes to both. Then said it wasn't because i thought i'd actually fall preg any more - it was because i don't want to ever look back and regret that i didn't just at least do the basics while i was still pre menopause.

So in a nut shell i have given up, but still plough on out of habit Good Lord!

all round

Love to all xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

My DH and i don't talk about it much as it upsets both of us - we're not out of the woods yet emotionally, but we're getting there - but we did have a chat about ttc last week. He asked if i still temp. (i do it on the loo in the mornings, not in bed, cant be arsed with the bleeping and the squinting in the dark) and if we still 'do it' at the right time. Bless him I said yes to both. Then said it wasn't because i thought i'd actually fall preg any more - it was because i don't want to ever look back and regret that i didn't just at least do the basics while i was still pre menopause.

So in a nut shell i have given up, but still plough on out of habit Good Lord!

all round

Love to all xxx

Oh Misty, I can understand where you are coming from, I know a year ago when we decide dead to start ttc, I didn't think we'd have much hope of success but I felt if we did not at least try I'd regret it in 5 years time when it's definately too late.
Having the mc kinda changed my feelings about things but I hope that for all us unsuccessful ttc couples that we can look back in the years to come and be glad that we tried and not be full of bitterness that we didn't get our longed for baby.

 

[pdmcd17]

Garfie wow your dream made me have goose bumps

Misty I hear you, it's hard and yore doing more then I do

It's sad when your almost at or are at the end of the road after doing everything for so long and you don't get what you so desperately wanted

I know I'm not doing anything except putting my first day of bleeding into my ff phone app and seeing when it says I'm fertile which mostly goes along with my bodies own signs
I don't take any suppliments not even a multi I'm so bad
But I am beginning to feel it will never happen for us
I'm still ttc but not sure when to tell him to book his V
Sometime next year we will be done ttc

It's funny even though I don't expect to get a bfp I still pray and ironically he's gone away durring my next fertile window - makes me wonder what I did for karma to be so mean to me/ us

I'm just glad you guys all know how I / we feel. we all understand how it is and provide support

I'm still hoping someone gets their bfp as everyone is deserving

 

[garfie]

Ladies

I think we all feel the same here - that we have to give it just one more, just one more shot until we know we have done everything possible - as usual I wish you all the luck in the world ladies and as usual I will sprinkle some

I told my youngest about my dream of his Grandpa (whilst he was in the bath with me never seem to get one alone these days) anyway he said wow that means he's sending a baby to go into your tummy - ah bless made me feel all warm inside.

AFM - the Doc surgery phoned today - I have a date already for my referral - I can't believe it 16 October - obviously this is more for endo - than fertility but at least my boot is in the door right?



X

 

[Reb S]

Hello all -just to add a bit of positivity to the thread - I got married on Saturday! Lovely ceremony, on honeymoon now, love to all
xxxxx
and that's despite MC and BFN's forever xxx

 

[Barnabibear]

Hello all -just to add a bit of positivity to the thread - I got married on Saturday! Lovely ceremony, on honeymoon now, love to all
xxxxx
and that's despite MC and BFN's forever xxx

Big congrats Reb. Enjoy your honeymoon!!

 

[Spoomie]

Dearest Reb

This is such happy news, huge congratulations to you and Mr Reb

Happy honeymoon, catch up soon

Spoomster xxx

 

[pdmcd17]

Congrats Reb
i wish you both the best

 

[Barnabibear]

Haven't been on here in a week or so. It seems so much has happened.

Garfie good luck with your referral. Hope you get some answers, honey.

Mistyy, I completely empathise. I haven't tried softcups, I see that they are popular but they scare me a little. Are they easy to use?

Maryanne, thank you for all the baby dust. Right back atcha, i really hope all of us on here get that BFP.

I'm on cd12. Not sure if I've o'd yet. My temps seem a bit flat. Clear blue monitor has stayed on high since cd7 so that's no help! Used opk with varying results. It's all a bit random this month. I have been for an acupuncture session this week. My first one. It was good because the lovely lady sounded like she was interested and wanted to help but I'm wondering if it will be a waste of money and just someone that appears to be listening for a change. Felt really weird. Not sure if this now smacks of desperation!!

Have also investigated donor eggs, my, my, my very expensive. A lottery win right now would be good.


Hello to everyone else. :wave:

 

[greens]

@ Garfie I hope this is of an interesting read for you.
https://www.drmcdougall.com/stars/051205starpaula.html
Poooo to these drawing in evenings I miss the daylight.

 

[Butterfly67]

Ladies sending big to everyone.

Reb, congrats that is lovely news - hope you enjoy your honeymoon

You know this month I happened to see my ex during what was probably fertile time but I can't even be bothered to think about testing and I am no longer taking any tabs either although I know I have to actually use the stash that I have in the cupboard before they go off

Que sera sera, and tomorrow was my EDD from my MC, so that kind of feels like a curtain is being drawn on the whole thing

 

[Pippi_elk]

Congrats Reb, enjoy the honeymoon.
Glad to see there is life after ttc.

Hope you get through tomorrow ok, Butterfly, I had my edd 2 weeks ago and I did feel a bit sad but we were on holidays so tried to distract ourselves.

Good luck Garfie with the referral...that referral was fast. We are almost cycle buddies...you're one day ahead of me.

Barnibear, I tried soft cup once but had terrible trouble getting it out so threw it in the bin. I could nt grab it and oh spend 20 min pulling and poking to get it out...otherwise I feared an embarrassing trip to A&E. Maybe it's me and I did nt relax but I'd only use it again if I could tie a string to it!

I got my appointment for my pelvic ultrasound in 3 weeks. Went and got my hormone profiling done today so we'll see what they all reveal. Want my oh to get semen analysis but gp said he has to wait till we get our appointment with fertility clinic and they do would do it. I would like to know what his counts are in case it's low and we should bd only every 2nd day (when I got my bfp we had only done it once in that fertile period...so I'm wondering if his counts are too low for daily bd). Trying to persuade him to go back and speak to a different doctor.

 

[Nise]

Ooo Congratulations Reb, hope you're both having a wonderful time.

Good luck Garfie - great that you don't have to wait to long for your appointment.

Feel like I've been awol for ages, have not been a very good stalker of late at all! and utterly crap at ttc! I finished my last job with a week of full night shoots (almost 3 weeks ago now) and they totally wiped me out, I've had a raving cold that just kept flaring up over a period of 3 weeks, then tonsilitus rapidly followed by a dose of conjunctivitis. Oh and AF turned up 2 weeks early - so with you Garfie on the 19 day cycle!!! What a crock of crap. And with all that going on I started a new job.

Anyway, I'm now up in Newcastle where I'm staying with my SIL. I'm working up here till 5th Nov. It seemed like a massive hand out from fate when I got offered the job, coz I thought, brilliant - I'll be able to visit LG every weekend but now it's not looking so likely.

Latest Adoption News:
I heard from SW on Friday. She is putting her report in at the next hearing on 11th Oct. She is requesting that an interim residents order is granted to me and OH. Once this is granted we will have a period of introductions over 6 weeks, following that LG would move into our care and be monitored for 2 months. Provided these introductions and placement are positive then the local authority will seek the courts approval for the granting of special guardianship to us. So if... (PMA) no, when it happens, it will happen fast!

The bad news is that she thinks the birth parents are going to say no in the first instance (under section 20 they still have full parental rights) and so this may not happen until the final hearing which is not until November. Just got to wait again. SW is going to send us a copy of her full report as soon as she has legal permission to do so. Bit of a bummer really, being so close and yet unable to see her, thank goodness the money on this job is good otherwise I'd be really pissed off as I don't much like being away from home for long periods anymore.

In the mean time I am allowed to write. So I've been sending regular cards and the odd little gift - just so she knows we are thinking of her. Her Foster carer has been in touch with me and sends me regular photo's via email so that's nice.

Love to everyone and now I have my mobile dongle I will try to report in more often. Smilies don't like my dongle though so no virtual hugs. These will have to do! xxxxxxx

 

[maryanne67]

wow lots of activity ,nise good luck hope all goes according to plan for you with lg x

reb congratulations nejoy the honeymoon and the honeymoon x

pippi hope the testing goes well and i am wondering if less maybe more productive aswell x

butterfly i don`t take any prenatals did once got pg an then mc at 10 weeks so is a bit of a downer for me but am thinking about taking some and don`t blame you for not testing anymore it gets abit much after a while x

greens hows it going x

misty even if just habit you might just get that bfp i know i hope so and keep my fxd for you and evry1 else x

barnabibear maybe the acupuncture has made a diffrence to your cycle hope its one for the better and a lottery win i would be in the que for ivf for sure fxd we don`t need it tho x

garfie good luck with the specialist and what a lovely dream and so cute of your son to say that aww lovely fxd x

pdmcd i get you with the karma thing it certainly has me wondering but i don`t really think it can be that you certainly are building good karma coming in here and supporting all us ladies and you don`t even know us how can that be bad good luck hun fxd x

spoomie i dunno wot to say but thank u and i had that msg from bnb when i lost joshua coz i didnt come on in a while bit its nice to hear from you again x

afm im on cd7 today a while to go to ov usually cd16 but god knows this cycle as had a 2 day longer cycle last so wondering if cycle will be 2 days less this 1 to put me back on track as i have had this happen in the past but fxd maybe bfp gota have some pma so fxd for us all and lots of x

 

[Mistyy]

Pippi - you're right when you say the MC changed things. For me it turned me from a 'lets try to ttc and hope for the best' person to a MUST GET PREGNANT NOW person. Glad it's calming down now. i used to be normal y'know! My EDD was Oct last year, so around the 16th of this month baby would have been 1 Anyway - i agree with you about the sperm count/every day BD thing. I have a niggling feeling that's true for us too.

PDCMD - you're not bad for not taking supplements! It's probably a nice thing that there are a few of us together here who are feeling like we are just going through the motions of ttc. It would be very hard on an average ttc thread to be pesamistic without feeling like you're bringing everybody down. Here it feels like we can all be miserable old cows if we need to be (or is that just me??! )

Garfie - 16th Oct! There's that day again. So glad it's so soon for you. Waiting is horrid

Reb - OMG CONGRATULATIONS Have a wonderful honeymoon

Barnie - well, i tried cups because everyone was raving about them for ttc and i thought 'why not'. I got on OK. There's lots of advice online about putting them in and where they should sit. I put mine in while laying down after BD. You squeeze the rim together and just treat it like a tampon really. Kept it in overnight. I did find it made me feel a weeny bit achey by morning. It worked in so much that when i took mine out it was always very ... full sorry! TMI Getting it out - i hooked my nail over the nearest edge and pulled HARD, lol. Acupuncture - i have thoughts on that too - DH and i tried that too. I forgot to put it on the list, lol. In a nut shell it settled my cycles down to a more regular 29 days. Plus lengthened my luteal phase to 14 days form only 11 or 12. The main benefit was something i wasn't expecting - the relaxation. I chilled allot about getting pregnant. Dunno if it helped DHs fertility, but it helped his back! It cost allot, yes. I was going once a week. I haven't been since April when we went on honeymoon. The guy was a berevement and couples councellor too. I miss going - but cant afford it any more.

Greens :wave:

Butterfly - for today hun. Good for you for being so relaxed about it all now too. You're an inspiration!

Nise - hello! I'm glad things are still moving along with LG. It's slow but steady isn't it? I bet that little girl is thrilled to know sehs going to have such a wonderful new mum and dad soon. Bless. Congrats on your new job. Keep us posted!

Maryanne - Cycle Buddie! I'm CD6. I never test now. I gave it up a good few months ago. It just always confirmed the worst and bought me down. I figure now if i'm pregnant i'll know becasue my AF will be late and i'll get fat! LOL.

Love and to all posters and lurkers xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Pippi - you're right when you say the MC changed things. For me it turned me from a 'lets try to ttc and hope for the best' person to a MUST GET PREGNANT NOW person. Glad it's calming down now. i used to be normal y'know! My EDD was Oct last year, so around the 16th of this month baby would have been 1 Anyway - i agree with you about the sperm count/every day BD thing. I have a niggling feeling that's true for us too.

xx

Yea, I thought we'd get pregnant quite quickly after the mc (as it did n't take us long to get a bfp initially) and all I could focus on was getting pregnant ASAP. However as the months tick away I realise it will probably never happen and what we might nearly have had is n't going to be reality. Wish I could get back to the place I was a year ago but hopefully time settles everything.
Hope you get through the 16th ok. One year on, hope it does nt feel as raw as last year.

Oh getting sent for sperm analysis, the other gp was prepared to send him and thought it was a good idea to have it done before we go the fertility clinic. Don't know why the other gp would not refer him.

Good luck Nise with lg, you expected the parents to put up obstructions so although it slows things down, hope it all works out well eventually.

Maryanne, would you consider using Opk? It might help explain your temps? Or maybe you don't want to have to do another thing

We babysat 3 kids today (my sister in law's father is dying in hospital and they are doing around the clock sitting by his bed) ...the youngest is almost 4year old and is so cute. They were more well behaved than i expected, the parents are always shouting at them but they were ok for us. Maybe it's that they don't know us so well as did nt want to act up.
But makes you see how nice it'd be to have a little girl of our own.

 

[pdmcd17]

Pip I hope everything goes well with your testing. Babysitting can be fun, I love seeing df with kids

Nise that sound so great, and its almost the middle of oct so November will be here in no time

Mary I hope this cycle gets you back on track

Misty I have thought about acupuncture for both the relaxation and fertility I do have some benefit coverage

I'm aprox 7-8 dpo, and feeling like a failure. I'm off the bandwagon with my eating and running (& ttc). I'm trying to get my focus back, it's so hard. We had a talk yesterday about this and that ttc is so hard it's been almost 2 yrs and not one bfp. He told me he loved me and a baby would just be icing on the cake. If we don't have a baby he's still here and loves me.

Today he tells me my soon to be sil ( his brothers wife) is expecting
I broke down and it's so hard to be happy for them when I just want it to be us. Don't even really like her so its harder ( I'm not sure if the reason I don't like her is because she got pregnant when we started or I just don't like her)

I now have to apologize to df, when he told me I was like well I can't see her at Xmas it's too hard for me. I don't want to see her, I already try to avoid her and now let's through this into the loop

Sorry for my vent

For any Canadians out there happy thanksgiving

 

[Mistyy]

Just a quickie to give to PDMCD

I know just how your feeling hun (with the exception of the fact that i quite like both my SILs). It's hard enough being upset about pregnancy news in the family without the guilt on top about how it looks to everyone else that you're upset! Nightmare.

All i can say is - it eases once the initial hoo har is over with, and it's not the main topic of convo. anymore. More ((hugs))

xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time pdmc, hopefully as misty said once everyone has got over the initial excitement things will get easier for you.
Suppose just try live one day a time, you don't know what's around the corner ( for you or her). Don't mean to sound like I am wishing ill wind to her in case that's what it reads like.