TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[never2late70]

Hi Lovely's

I would love to join this thread. I recognize a few of you from other threads. It's nice to find so many other women in the same boat as me.

Happy to be here. Gotta go read the posts now to get caught up.

Prayers and Blessings,
~Angie

 

[pdmcd17]

Hi ladies

Booth big hugs
Welcome hoping
Mrs c my prays are with you and your family - we're here if you need us

Question maybe tmi. Today I'm 7-8 dpo and I'm extremely dry this isn't normal for me bd was not a fun experience we had to use lube
Has any one had this mid cycle I do get it just before af and she's not due for another week


So today were off we got our divorce certificate and marriage liscence and I got my rings back. We're off to visit the folks and do some runs along the lake if it doesn't snow too hard

I was suggesting a fb private group ( we'd create)so we can still connect after we're done ttc besides our other fb group ( if you're not in it pm me and I'll send you an invite)

 

[Nise]

Oh my goodness so many bittersweet and heartfelt posts.

Miss C I expect you've already logged out but my heart goes out to you at this difficult time and I wish you all the strength in the world to get through it. I really can't imagine what you're going through. But you're a strong lady and I know you'll come out the other end even stronger. Have faith in yourself, we all have faith in you.

Spoomie - Dark tunnel is so apt to describe the empty longing we have all been through or are going through and it does feel never ending. I'm glad you've found some inner peace. I have too, I've given up ttc (though I won't complain should an accident happen!). Like you and Misty and probably everybody here, it definitely changed me as a person - I didn't like that person at all, I barely recognised myself at time - who was this crazy obsessed woman. From one unexpected and unplanned pregnancy came 6 years of hell and the relief I feel at not having to be that person anymore is immense. I've also not left any stone unturned and tried everything except IVF, I just didn't see the point of putting my body through something it clearly didn't want to do and with a doner egg. The pressure that my relationship came under was awful at times, but we got through it together - I'm lucky to have the best OH in the world. The thing that most disappoints me is that throughout my entire life I have done and continue to do everything I want to - I never wanted to reach the end of my life with regrets or the knowledge that I didn't have a go, and deep down I know that I will now always have the one regret - that I didn't realise I wanted children till it was to late, there's nobody but myself to blame for that. Letting go hasn't been easy. It's the possibility of adopting that turned everything around for me. I haven't for a single second given up on being a parent, I'm just going about it in a slightly different way and I'm completely at peace with that.

PDMC - congrats on getting everything sorted and I hope you have a fab trip, it sounds wonderful.

Welcome to all the new ladies.

 

[tiatammy]

hello ladies I hope yu dont mind me posting, A little sbout me, I am 41 dh is 51, we have been trying coming up in april 2 years without a BFP, I am on my 4th round of clomid at 150mg cd 5-9 as of right now I have 2 moore days to go with the clomid. I am getting soooo frustrated, each month it hurts more and more. good luck to all you wonderful ladies, HUGS HUGS FRIENDS

 

[pdmcd17]

Hi titamy

I need to vent df won't understand
Were up visiting the inlaws and I just found out when the sil is due I thought jul no its April she will be 5 months at the wedding with her bump showing
Already mil is talking about new baby and can't wait to see her all pregnant over the holidays

Wow it hurts I'm praying seeing her all pregnant at the wedding isn't hard I was ok knowing but I thought she wasn't as far along so I never expected to see the bump
It's hard especially knowing our journey is almost over
I'm praying the conversation at dinner Isn't all about her

Thanks for listening I hope everyone is well

 

[tiatammy]

Hi titamy

I need to vent df won't understand
Were up visiting the inlaws and I just found out when the sil is due I thought jul no its April she will be 5 months at the wedding with her bump showing
Already mil is talking about new baby and can't wait to see her all pregnant over the holidays

Wow it hurts I'm praying seeing her all pregnant at the wedding isn't hard I was ok knowing but I thought she wasn't as far along so I never expected to see the bump
It's hard especially knowing our journey is almost over
I'm praying the conversation at dinner Isn't all about her

Thanks for listening I hope everyone is well

venting is good some times it helps, I do it from time to time myself. HUGS HUGS FRIENDS

 

[Spoomie]

Hey Nise

Thanks for your honest and open response to my message.

I totally understand the pressure on the relationship bit; our GP once told us that I had to find a way to come to terms with the fact that the chances were virtually zero otherwise I was going to sacrifice our marriage in my pursuit. I am ashamed to admit that I sat in her surgery and thought, if I get my baby, I won't even care if I ruin my marriage in the process I'm sure we would've muddled though deliriously happy if we had ever managed to have our longed for second child, but I do actually believe that now I have found a way (extremely reluctantly) to make peace with this grief, we are closer and our marriage is stronger. I recall our dear friend Samiam on the thread who lost her relationship as a result of ttc and several mcs along the way, I can see how easily done that is. The other thing I can really relate to is your comment about leaving it too late; I know I actually have no one to blame except myself on that score, and that is difficult to come to terms with, but there no turning back time to get it right next time is there? In truth, I know I am extremely lucky that I managed to have my son at the age of 40 and without intervention, despite my two losses before him and the one after him. If I could give young women one piece of advice that I thought they'd listen to (I know I wouldn't have listened, I thought there was plenty of time and I was going to buck the trend because I was so fit and healthy, the arrogance of it!!) it would be this: we may look younger than our mothers at our age, we may dress younger than our mothers at our age, we may behave younger than our mother at our age, but evolution is way way behind us, our eggs are no younger than our mothers or their mothers.

I am so happy for you that you have found the adoption of dear LG to be your salvation. I believe it is only going to get better and better for you. I have a good friend who endured IVF unsuccessfully four times before settling out on the long and frustrating road to adoption. She has a wonderful little boy now and he completes her. It may be plan B, but there is no need for it to be second best, LG will bring you much joy (and frustration!) in the years ahead, keep hold of that as you wait for what seems like forever to get through all the red tape and bureaucracy xx

And forgive me, hello to the new ladies......keep the faith, but don;t lose yourself in the process

 

[Mistyy]

Hi lovelies. CD bloody 1 again here.



I'm a bit more gutted than normal about this one. My temps were good and i had nausea and very painful boobs. Sigh. I'm developing a numbness to this. Good? Bad? Who knows

Let me apollogise for not posting directly to the newbies much! HUGS ladies, we really value new posters on this thread. I've just found it hard to keep up with the flow right now (we were ages without any newbies!) and it's coinsiding with some of the long standing posters are having a bit of a crappy time. POST POST POST and we'll get to know you better It can be a bit daunting when you join a bunch of new people, but the kettle is always on here and the door is always open for a vent, a cry, just a wave, a question, or just (speaking for myself) a darn good ramble . It all gets read.

Spoomie - regret is a hideous emotion to have to cope with. It's the reason i'm still plugging away with ttc ... so when my eggs have all finally hatched and gone i cant say i didn't give it a good shot once i knew that's what me and DH wanted. Please please please do not beat yourself up for not wanting to do something in the past that you do want to do now. We are who we are now and we were who we were then. As mere mortals we're not blessed with the ability to go into the past or the future to switch things around a bit. But sadly we do have the ability to tear ourselves to pieces over what we could'a, should'a, would'a done. You weren't ready back then and so it wouldn't have been right for you. Remember that.

PCMCD - i feel your pain. I really do. Don't let this eat at your big day though hun. I will PM you. I think it's a great idea.

Gotta dash - DH wanting attention

Love to all and hugs to Nise
xxx

 

[Adele1969]

Due my period yesterday. Usually bang on 28 days. Today is day 29. No pregnancy symptoms though. Am afraid to do a test in case it's not the result I want

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi ladies, I'm new to this thread and just wanted to say hi and hugs to all of you having a tough time.
A bit about me: the only thing I ever knew I wanted for sure in this life was to have a child. Met my other half when I was 28 and made it clear what I wanted, he wasn't ready and somehow the years have slipped by and here we are 42 and childless. We have our challenges (he has intimacy 'issues') and over the years we have tried to get over that one way or the other, sometimes more positive than others. At one point we separated because he knew what we wanted was different and didn't think it fair on me, then we got back together and he said he'd come round to it and wanted to be with me and have a family but it's been a struggle convincing him about the avenues we may have to explore and sometimes I can't help but feel bitter about the situation we're in. Truth is he was as honest with me as I was with him so I've only got myself to blame. We've just had our 3rd failed attempt at IUI (BFN on my 42bd birthday, happy birthday to me!). We've decided to try IVF and the clinic reckon we can go for it in January, excited and scared as it feels like our last chance. Trying to stay positive but do scared how I'll cope if it feels, had a bit of a meltdown after failed IUI this month
Spoomie, I so relate to what you're saying about thinking we're young and fit, mother nature has played a cruel trick on us all... It helps to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
So, onwards and upwards, thinking positive thoughts and looking forward to getting to know you all.

 

[Nise]

Gosh, nice to sit down for 5 mins.

Some of you may know I work on EastEnders quite a bit. The other day I had to go and talk to June (Dot) about something and she said to me... Have you noticed how everything is speeding up? she was referring to the Meridian calendar.... I don't know about you guys, but I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment, so she's got a point. I also had to endure a 45 minute conversation about the benefits of Turmeric and Cinnamon!!! but that's another story. Both these things were completely off topic, but she is quite amazing considering she's almost 86.

Misty - Damn, damn damn Aunt Flow - I have been quietly hopeful for you too. So sorry hun. As to your question. well, for self preservation perhaps the numbness is a good thing in a strange way. Wish I could offer something useful to you

Spoomie - I agree, I find myself biting my tongue with the 20 somethings, but I have told a couple of 30 somethings, how I fucked up and gently told them not to leave it to long - but you're right, everybody thinks they will be the exception to the rule and perhaps some will be.

Pdmcd - How bloody annoying. With a bit of luck your sil will wear something that will just make her look fat!

Tiatammy - Good luck for this cycle.

Adele - Fingers crossed, hun. Hope this is your turn.

Pussycat - keep us posted, I wish you lots of luck with the IVF and hope it all works out for you.

to everybody else. Hope you've all had a good weekend.

 

[pdmcd17]

Thanks ladies I feel better but nise I loved the fat comment she's a stick so I doubt she'll look fat lol at 2 days post delivery she was in her jeans.

I actually started to journal to help me cope and see what on my end has prevented my bfp. I realize in the past 3 yrs I have been through alot on bc switching bc as side effects then difficulty regulating off and then my cyst
Then those months were we missed the window when he was away for wrk or recovering from surgery.

I actually had a talk with df about hearing sil is farther then I thought and how hard it will be for me. I cried and told him i felt guilty that I felt that way I should be happy for them
He was amazing and admitted he feels a bit the same way

2 yrs ago we started this journey and I honestly believed 1 yr well I was wrong but I'm thankful he's supportive and is fine either way. I'm now trying to decide when my journey will end I keep waffling

I read back a bunch of old posts on the tread it was neat to see some had gotten BFP's who quietly disappeared, other just disappeared and some still lurk
I was wondering the other day about Sam interesting she was brought up as we may be heading to Arizona next year for df wrk

I do know I couldn't have made it through with out you guys
I do wonder how some of the other ladies are doing.

Welcome to the nrwbies

 

[Butterfly67]

Pdmdc I was also looking at the beginning of the thread and saw there were a few on page 1 I think who are pg so I think we do miss some success stories.

hi never2late (again), adele, tiatammy (again) and Pussycat and good luck to all

Mistyy

Hi to everyone else

 

[Pippi_elk]

Hi never2late70, Adele and pussycat.

Have to echo what misty said, I've got confused with all the new people joining lately so just post lots and we'll get to know you.
Adele....I'm up north but nice to see someone from Ireland here (I'm from 'down south' originally).

Hope the ivf is successful pussycat. I guess for us, both of us kinda postponed it so we're both equally to blame althought I do feel I could have pushed for ttc earlier.

Sorry to hear af showed misty...especially when your temps looked higher.
Feel gutted for you pdmc about ur sil being further on on your wedding day. Hopefully by the time the big day comes you'll have adjusted to the idea. Have to laugh at someone's comment that hopefully she'll just look fat.

No news here, coming up to ovulation this week. Did nt start the bd yet as sometimes we start to run out of steam by the time I get a positive Opk.
I know we should do it regularly all the time but after 17 years together....we re just not up for such frequent bd!!!

 

[no3at40]

Hi All,
well i have recently turned 40 and my cluckiness has gone in to overdrive. oh and I have decided to try for a #3. We have a DS17 and DD11 and had no discussion for any more until about 1 yr ago
As both my children were conceived in my 20s it only took 1 try with both and presto pregnant, this time i am very nervous and scared as age seems to be a major issue with it happening....
We have attempted our first month ttc and am due for af on the 8th of Dec....

Good luck to us all, may the spirit of xmas bring us many BFP

 

[biggerfamily]

Ladies just stopping in to wish everyone luck.

AFM; Still waiting to do a HPT but my progesterone came back at 27 yesterday which showed I did ovulate so our doctors nurse was very happy with that an said for me to do a HPT at the end of week as she thinks it's a great sign. I sure hope so. So can get moving on to our next chapter in life now I just turned 41 a few days ago. We're praying for a BFP for me this month as it would be a late birthday gift but would be great.

I'll try to get over here a little more but I get lost on this message board but try to get back faster next time.

 

[pdmcd17]

welcome No3

bigger goodluck later this week. if you hit the user cp at the topr right hand corned it will list all the treads where you arent the last poster i normally do that and then hit the last page

if i want to type something and there hasnt been on the left hand side on the user screen you can hit subscribed threads and it shows you anything you have posted in ever (you can delete them out the old ones by unsubscribing)

AFM im in pms hell my boobs are sore i woke up and they were sore. af is due fri so the next 3 days will be long (but maybe she wont come at all- not getting my hopes up though)

how's everyone else doing?

 

[Mistyy]

:wave: ladies

Welcome No3, i too had my 3 DDs in my 20s (thinking i was all grown up and old at that age!) and had only to wait 1 or 2 months to fall each time. It does take longer later in life - but it's bu no means impossible as many BFPs on this thread has shown x

Bigger - everything crossed for you. I've got this thread (plus lots of other sites i visit regularly) on bookmarks. If something ever happened to my bookmark list i'd be lost! lol x

Adele - have you tested yet? x

Pussycat - welcome. Sorry to hear you had a BFN on your birthday. Thats crushing. Stay with us and we can send you all our positive vibes for January

Nise - thanks hun. And thanks to all of you who have been waiting with me every month for the last hundred years (it feels) Dot Cotton ay? lol. I used to watch 'Enders years ago religiously, and Neighbours. My ex used to work nights and i had little DCs asleep upstairs so got through allot of telly. Don't watch any soaps now, and much less telly. Bargain Hunt and Masterchef are my only weakness' now .

Butterfly right back! I'm glad you're back on the thread regularly hun

Pippi - you made me smile with your running out of steam comment. I know what you mean DH and i do go at it quite often TTC or not but i do hate that bit at ov when you're dithering about when the best day is. It often turns out that the best day is or was the one when you just wanted to snuggle up and go off to sleep beside each other cos you were both knackered. Why is it all the times you have swinging from the chandelier sex are never in ov week??? lol. Fingers crossed for you this week anyway

PCMD - how are you now?? Have you tested? It's good that you can be honest with your DH about how you're feeling re SIL. I found it a great relief when i had the same chat with my DH. Before that i felt awful about it. Big hugs. I know this isn't going to seem much comfort but once the baby is a few months old the excitement through the family dies down to a more reasonable level and it's possible once more to have a convo about something other than X's bump or how the consistency of baby Xs last nappy God i sound a miserable cow

Garfie - how are you hun? and Barnie and everyone?

AFM - The witch is leaving today i recon. Last bit of spotting. It's been quite light this time.

Well we have the double christening this coming Sunday for the 2 SILs babies (ok, maybe i was premature with the idea that the baby stuff was getting less) DH and i are going to be God parents to one of them. So DH has been practising his best Don Vito Corleone voice - "You give me respect", lol. He wants a long coat and a white cravat It's his first time being a god father, can you tell? Bless him.

The invites were lovely. They had pics on it that MIL has taken of the two babies laying next to each other. They're 4 months apart, the oldest is 10 months old now. My baby would have been 1 in October. I cant help thinking how there should be three babies in those pictures. 3 cousins together. Every happy event is overshadowed by my sadness these days. Another day of sticking on a smile .... ho hum. Aaaaanyway - enough of this. Stiff upper lip! lol.

to all of us xxxxxx

 

[TTCafter40]

Good morning strong & lovely ladies.

First of all, BIG HUGS to all of you who are going thru a rough time. Just know that God is able & in control. I pray for your strength & peace beyond understanding.

Welcome to the new ladies who recently joined us.

A quick update since my last post. Yesterday, my doc did an u/s. She said everything looks good.....my lining, ovaries, cervix, etc. She found 2 good follies on my left ovary at 15mm & 17mm. On my right ovary, she only found 1 at 10mm. She said that's pretty good being on cd 12 & considering my age. So far, the Clomid is working & making me OV w/ having regular 27-28 day cycles. So she told DH & I to have some FUN for the next few days. So we're praying & hoping that this will be our miracle cycle.

You, Lovelies, hang in there with me! Stay blessed & beautiful. LOTS OF BABY DUST TO ALL OF US!!!

 

[booth19]

Hi Butterfly - nice to see you back and fingers crossed for good things in 2013

Pipi - i know what you mean - the day i got mu o pain i was knackered!! had a busy weekend and then I went to bed early and promptly fell asleep. Hopefully we did b/d before the night so fingers crossed never missed our chance.

PDMCD - sending lots of and just maybe, i will be due a couple of days after you but already trying to symptom spot which is ridiculous!

Hi Mistyy - Hope the christening goes ok, I was god mother a couple a months ago and everyone wanted pictures of me and the baby!! i know its not its fault but just reminded me as mine would have been 2 months younger than him.


Hi to all the newbies

On a positive note, my friend who is 42 has just had a 20 week scan and everything good, conceived naturally whilst she was drinking and eating all the things she shouldn't have been and her other son is 8! hope for us all

Well off to revise for an exam next week!! Good luck to all the testers this week and hopefully we will have some December BFP !!