TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

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Barnabibear said:
Dear all,

My new year has not started well. Started spotting on the day before new years eve, gp said not to worry it happens in early pregnancy. I felt reassured but it's got worse as the days have gone on, despite doing all the rest and relaxing. It's full on heavy bleeding now, much as I've seen after giving birth and after my d&c so I think this is it. A scan will confirm it tomorrow. I'm so so so upset. I really believed that this would be the one where I would get my baby. DH says he can't go through this again so it looks like we will be childless now. It's unbearable to contemplate, to top it all my sister is pregnant and still smoking and doing fine, my sister in law is due to give birth in a matter of weeks.

Thought I'd let you all know. Sorry to bring a downer on things. Take care all of you.
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I hope this isn't it. How far along are you?
 
barnibear. big hugs. im keeping my fxd crossed for you
 
Thank you for your kind thoughts, realistically this is it and it's all over. I would be 8 weeks tomorrow but my symptoms stopped on Saturday, the day before the spotting started. Blood is gushing, there's no way that there will be anything there tomorrow. It's the thought of losing this one and theres no hope of another. My dh has been very strong about that. I feel so rubbish that this is the 3rd of our babies gone, we have nothing to show for all of this pain except an empty nursery and some pictures of my stillborn son and it's all with me, my body just can't keep them, and it's most probably age now. I'm so sorry, you're the only ones except my other half that knew about this baby so I've no one to talk to.
 
Barnabibear said:
Thank you for your kind thoughts, realistically this is it and it's all over. I would be 8 weeks tomorrow but my symptoms stopped on Saturday, the day before the spotting started. Blood is gushing, there's no way that there will be anything there tomorrow. It's the thought of losing this one and theres no hope of another. My dh has been very strong about that. I feel so rubbish that this is the 3rd of our babies gone, we have nothing to show for all of this pain except an empty nursery and some pictures of my stillborn son and it's all with me, my body just can't keep them, and it's most probably age now. I'm so sorry, you're the only ones except my other half that knew about this baby so I've no one to talk to.
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I don't know what to say except that I'm so sorry. It's unfair.
 
Oh my God Barnie, i'm so so sorry sweetheart. I'm filling up for you here. I thought you were home and dry this time too for some reason. I'm shocked to come on here and read this news.

I'm sending you a massive virtual hug. I know it's hard but please don't torture yourself right now with decisions about trying again or not. It's not the time. You poor lady.

Worse that you've got imminent births and pregnancy around you too. My DH and i were summoned to a family get together about a week after we lost our baby, in 2011, only for it to be a big preg. announcement from his DB and wife in the middle of a meal out. No warning. Awful. They knew about our loss too. Just telling you this in empathy really. It can be such a lonely lonely place struggling with TTC and loss.

We are hear for a shoulder to cry, vent, shout or just lean on :hugs: Let us know how you are. xxxx
 
Oh barni I'm so sorry. I know it feels like the end but please don't think this is it. Maybe not the best time to say but I believe at 41 you still have a few good years left. The heartache is for sure raw right now but please just take this time to grieve and don't think about the future right now as you are for sure at a horribly low point :hugs::hugs::hugs:
 
Barnabibear, so so sorry to hear that. You've been through so much and all so unfair. I know there's nothing we can say to make you feel better, but we're here listening and understanding. x
 
Barnabibear,

I can only echo what the other girls have said already. I do know how you are feeling & like the others can only offer empathy, hugs and a friendly ear. Stay strong pet. I too firmly believe you have a few years yet. Don't make any rash decisions xxxx
 
Oh BarniI'm so sorry.. Your doctor didn't call you in to test for low progesterone when you started spotting, in case it was easily remedied? I'm so sorry hun, you are in good company here, so many of us have been through this. But I know that doesn't make it any easier at all. Hugs to you.
 
Hi Barnibear

so so sorry to hear what you are going through. You are in my thoughts. As the others said just try deal with what you are going throught right now and don't worry about making any decisions about the future at the moment.
Think you need to persuade OH to discuss the future when you have recovered from this Mc.....
 
Hello everyone else...

i'm back on line and must go and read all the posts over Christmas.
Actually it was nice to be forced off line as I temproarily have become more chilled about this ttc busisness. Must try and limit myself to just reading this thread and stay away from all other threads/sites as contstanly reading about ttc etc just wears one down.

Just want to say a big congrats to PDmc on your wedding. loved the photo.
 
Pippi - bless :friends: i can empathise with everything you said there.

I too backed away from allot of ttc stuff on the internet a good few months ago. I only post here now and pop onto my FF most days, for literally 30 seconds, to put my bits in. Very refreshing and mentally better for me - i find i have leveled out now to a nice point which i don't think is obsessive, but at the same time fills my need to be ''Doing Enough To Make Getting Preg A Vague Possibility'' :D

Barnie more hugs hun xxx

My new years eve was OK in the end. The alcohol made me forget my flu symptoms at least. DH drank a little more than he can handle which made for a long and unpredictable night in ways i wont go into, but at least we didn't argue :happydance:

CD13 today for me and EWM around so i guess its today/tomorrow for egg laying.

<needs to pursued 'clueless about cycles' DH into a second night of luuurrve tonight to be sure :spermy::haha:>

Love to all xxx
 
Pippi I totally agree with what your saying. Sometimes it can be obsessive.

Misty I hear you also doing enough

Thanks everyone for the wedding wishes. I love being married.
I'm 1 or 2dpo, it would be amazing if we got a post wedding bfp.

So my ttc end date was /is the end of march but I don't know if I'm ready to give up yet. I have to decide what I want to do. Dh is ok with what ever I want to do
 
maxxiandniko said:
Very well said Misty and Butterfly
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pdmcd17 said:
Pippi I totally agree with what your saying. Sometimes it can be obsessive.

Misty I hear you also doing enough

Thanks everyone for the wedding wishes. I love being married.
I'm 1 or 2dpo, it would be amazing if we got a post wedding bfp.

So my ttc end date was /is the end of march but I don't know if I'm ready to give up yet. I have to decide what I want to do. Dh is ok with what ever I want to do
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I hope you do get the bfp. It's hard to give up completely because you always kind of sort of know when you're ovulating so it's always kind of sort of in the back of your mind when AF is supposed to arrive. At least this is how it has been for me.
 
Barni - I'm sorry and shocked to read your post and I wish you much strength to get through yet another sad time. My thoughts are with you. I can't really put things any better than Misty did, concentrate on you and healing for the minute there will be other times to make drastic decisions. I think the one thing we all understand on this thread is that sadly age does play it's part and getting the end goal is not an easy nor happy road to travel and we have to be strong if we choose to walk it. It's extremely unfair, especially when you have so many other pregnancies around you. Lots of love and big cyber hugs, we're here for you championing you on. :hugs:
 
Thank you everyone for your support. It all got confirmed yesterday, I'm no longer pregnant. My understanding gp is on holiday this week so I've had to see the duty doctor. I've been quite strong about wanting to know why this keeps happening, but she just told me its my age. I know we over 40's have a higher chance of mc but to have this dismissed as just age after repeatedly losing all my babies I would at least like some investigation. I know this was my last chance really, hubby, just not happy going through all this hurt over and over again but I need to know. I hope he will change his mind in time but I can't risk another pregnancy without some help from those in the medical profession.

Thanks again, for listening. I really really appreciate all your support. :hugs:
 
Barna - If you are in the UK you can insist on tests now - blood and genetic testing as you have had three m/c. I know what you mean by being dismissed as it's just one of those things - your age grrrrrrrrr it gets me so mad:growlmad:

Take some time hun before making any decisions - but like most of the ladies on here I can fully understand what you are saying:cry:

I have had blood test and fortunately/unfortunately they have all come back fine. I am still awaiting the genetic testing results:wacko:

When you feel stronger insist that they carry out at least some blood tests hun.

Once again I am so so so sorry for your recent loss:flower:

BIG BIG BIG :hugs:

:hugs:

X
 
barnie i am so sorry for you loss. i cant say anything better then what garfie said. i would request the testing as you are getting pregnant there has to be a reason for the recurrent mc's. i hope your regular dr will give you the answers you need or refer you on.
 
Hi ladies, well today is a huge milestone for me, I've just done my first buserelin injection, I was a little nervous about it but was all fine and no different from trigger injection which I've done 3 times now. So carry on now and next step is scan 17th Jan. excited, scared and most importantly HOPEFUL! x
 
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