TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Pippi_elk]

I'm back. Such a crazy 3 weeks. I went in for my 9 week sono and found out I miscarried. I had a d&c the Monday after which was 2 weeks ago. Then we went skiing, got ready to sell our house, got hit with that snowstorm and now I have a horrendous cold. I haven't been able to catch up on everybody's stuff. I have a f/u appt with my ob on Thursday and I may go on Clomid. I also have an appt with my RE on Thursday just to go over options and to get some blood work done. I had blood work done last April and everything was ok but who knows now. Any good news while I was away?

so sorry to hear Max. You need to take some time to yourself to recover from your loss and your move and cold. Think you were the only person on here with good news until now.
Think it's just been all bad news...so pretty depressing really

 

[maxxiandniko]

Someone's got to get good news soon!

 

[pdmcd17]

garfie im sorry to hear about being out and your familys bussiness loss.

nise i hope you get everything done so the move in takes place on time

bigger that is wonderful keeping everything crossed for you

pipi wow that is intereting stats ivf vs natural.

max hon big hugs for your loss and everything you are going through

i agree with the goodnews we need some (mind you misty has had lots of great news)

afm the witch is late. im thinking i just had anovoulatory cycle. still no pms symptoms or other kind. i am fighting a bug so feel crappy darn winter. if the witch doesnt show up by next mon i will test as i will be on cd 32 and 7 days late.

funny thing is monday is family day here (a holiday for most of Canada's provinces) so wouldnt it be cool. of course dh is heading to baltimore on business. im not getting my hopes up though im sure i just ov'd late and she'll show up shortly.

 

[maxxiandniko]

garfie im sorry to hear about being out and your familys bussiness loss.

nise i hope you get everything done so the move in takes place on time

bigger that is wonderful keeping everything crossed for you

pipi wow that is intereting stats ivf vs natural.

max hon big hugs for your loss and everything you are going through

i agree with the goodnews we need some (mind you misty has had lots of great news)

afm the witch is late. im thinking i just had anovoulatory cycle. still no pms symptoms or other kind. i am fighting a bug so feel crappy darn winter. if the witch doesnt show up by next mon i will test as i will be on cd 32 and 7 days late.

funny thing is monday is family day here (a holiday for most of Canada's provinces) so wouldnt it be cool. of course dh is heading to baltimore on business. im not getting my hopes up though im sure i just ov'd late and she'll show up shortly.

Did you test? If you did I missed it and I'm never going to be able to go over all those past threads.

 

[pdmcd17]

No I haven't tested I won't till Monday
Af is only 2 days late I'm gonna wait 7 days I don't want to get my hopes up

 

[maxxiandniko]

No I haven't tested I won't till Monday
Af is only 2 days late I'm gonna wait 7 days I don't want to get my hopes up

I'm getting my hopes up!

 

[Mistyy]

My hopes are up for you too PDMCD <holding breath> I laughed when i read your post about me always having lots of good news. Do i?? I feel like i'm forever moaning on here

Maxi - i'm so sorry to hear your news. I was wondering how your were doing That must have been devastating for you. Look after yourself

Pippi - well done sorting your consultant out. It sounds better to go private.

To chart or not to chart ... your post has made do some thinking Pippi I must admit i don't really understand the science behind the advice to not chart. (unless it's contributing towards obsession, and or depression of course)

I wasn't charting or anything when i fell preg - just having regular sex with no expectations to be honest. It took 13 cycles of 'not really trying' to get a BFP. Then MC. Then charting and 'trying' for 24 cycles since then - without success.

So who knows? Really. On the face of it, it would seem that charting's done me no good at all. But then i think, ok ... 37 cycles of TTC. (13, a pregnancy, and then 24). My egg quality will have nosedived in that time and it probably wasn't too good at the start of it ! Time is not on our side and we feel we haven't got months to chuck away hoping for the best. Maybe i would have fallen preg. quicker if i'd charted from the start? Maybe i shouldn't have started charting at all?

I'm wary of starting to torture myself with the idea that charting has been a bad idea. Charting taught me so much about my own body. It was an affordable way, when i was feeling desperately sad after my MC, to be 'doing all i could'. It's shown me in black and white (well - blue and cream, lol) that my body does something every month, bang on time. This - because medical intervention is not for us - has been a great comfort to me.

Sooo ... i'll be watching you with interest pippi. I have every thing crossed for you as always

Nise how's the plastering? Not long now!!!!

Butterfly - and everyone else :wave:

AFM - spotting I'm out this month

xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

To chart or not to chart ... your post has made do some thinking Pippi I must admit i don't really understand the science behind the advice to not chart. (unless it's contributing towards obsession, and or depression of course)

I wasn't charting or anything when i fell preg - just having regular sex with no expectations to be honest. It took 13 cycles of 'not really trying' to get a BFP. Then MC. Then charting and 'trying' for 24 cycles since then - without success.

So who knows? Really. On the face of it, it would seem that charting's done me no good at all. But then i think, ok ... 37 cycles of TTC. (13, a pregnancy, and then 24). My egg quality will have nosedived in that time and it probably wasn't too good at the start of it ! Time is not on our side and we feel we haven't got months to chuck away hoping for the best. Maybe i would have fallen preg. quicker if i'd charted from the start? Maybe i shouldn't have started charting at all?

I'm wary of starting to torture myself with the idea that charting has been a bad idea. Charting taught me so much about my own body. It was an affordable way, when i was feeling desperately sad after my MC, to be 'doing all i could'. It's shown me in black and white (well - blue and cream, lol) that my body does something every month, bang on time. This - because medical intervention is not for us - has been a great comfort to me.

Sooo ... i'll be watching you with interest pippi. I have every thing crossed for you as always


AFM - spotting I'm out this month

Misty, Sorry to hear you are out this month.
However your comments echo exactly how I feel. I like charting and knowing what is going on, I like knowing when I ovulate and its handy to know almost exactly what day AF will arrive. Its also useful when you add in a supplement to see if it impacts your cycle.

I think the point that both consultants were trying to make were while at the start its good to use OPK and temping to know how your cycle is etc but now that you know that....you don't need to keep doing it.
He said it just causes stress knowing you HAVE to bd on certain days...
Regular sex is much better....every 2-3 days through out the cycle.

The problem is I don't think we'd have bd regularly enought to catch the egg. I can just see DH saying I'm too tired, not tonight 'dear' . at least when I get a positive OPK we are more motivated to bd.

The consultant said 'I bet you when you got pregnant before you were n't charting etc' but I was.... so that blew his theory out. But I had n't maybe got quite too hung up on it at that time as it was only 3 months into charting.

so I'm not sure what I am going to do. maybe to start with I'll stop temping once I have confrirmed ovulation as I do find the whole hoping it'll be triphasic thing a bit stressful.

don't beat yourself up about charting misty. I agree whole heartly with what you are saying.
In the back of my mind I think the consultants are really trying to say to me to relax and there is a better chance of us getting a bfp. But if my old eggs are the issue, then no amount of relaxing will make any difference.
So if I really admit it, I don't really agree with what they are saying...and feel if I stop charting I'll loose that insight into my cycles and still not get pregnant.

Then maybe I'm just being arrogant...with a bit of a 'I know best' attitude. Maybe when two fertility specilists unprompted mentioned it to me...I have to take heed.
I guess I could try what they say for a few months and see how I find it....

 

[Mistyy]

Pippi - bless. It is a tough one isn't it? I'm with you on this one. You want to do what the experts are telling you - but you know you're own relationship better than them.

All this time we've been 'being good' and charted away. To be told now (and i'd probably be told the same thing) 'throw away your thermometer and just have sex regularly' - well - <deflated sigh> - we ARE ! lol. And have been for god knows how long!

I was complaining only a few posts ago that even when you have a 'target' couple of days it's not always easy to actually manage to DTD around the right time

Like you say - if i'd left it to fate there'd be many cycles when we'd have missed all the days around ovulation altogether, because there are plenty of cycles where i've had to do a little eyelash fluttering when we'd both rather go to sleep. Left to natural urges, we would mostly have sex on Friday/Sat/Sunday nights or if it's raining or very cold, as Dh has a physical out door job and is tired during a full working week. Mid week shenanakins instigated by him only tend to happen if i've just finished and he's feeling like it's been ages (which is purely psychological, as i only bleed for about 4 days. Men are odd!)

Sex lives in long term relationships are complicated things. They have a pattern of their own - i'd find it quite a challenge to be relaxed AND to have sex every couple of days all month long. It's a bit of a catch 22 isn't it?

Anyway - that's my sex life laid bare

xxx

 

[pdmcd17]

Misty i had an early Alzheimer's moment i meant nise has had all the good bews with kiera

I totally agree on sex in long term relationships were 3 yrs old and still do it a lot 3-5x wk but that's done from the almost daily. I do still make an effort during my fertile window

Pippi having worked with drs my whole career they sometimes don't like when patients know too much as they question what the dr says
Also with all the testing they do they don't want to add that stress to you
I don't temp chart etc but it is a control thing as you know when it's the right time
I'd suggest do what you think will work best for you, as you know you and your dh best

Still no news on my front still no pms symptoms or feelings she's coming
Today at my massage I let myself imagine if I was for a few moments and realized if I would be due right around our dating anniversary
I'm still not testing till Sunday and I want him there to support me either way ( I want to wait till Monday but dh is leaving at 7)

How's everyone else

 

[maxxiandniko]

I'm kind of excited for you PD! I'm amazed at your ability not to test. I stupidly tested because I convinced myself that I ovulated this past weekend and since I happened to have a hpt lying around I used it this morning (and this afternoon and this evening) and got a faint positive. I'm not happy because I'm thinking it's leftover hcg from before the d&c. I'm going to the ob tomorrow for my post-op appt so my guess is if her test shows positive I'll be doing some rounds of blood work. And I really was hoping that I ovulated so I could either get pregnant or start a new cycle. So much for trying to control things you should know you can't.

 

[biggerfamily]

Ladies I'm around but not posting much as being tryn to relax an not stress.

Today I've been really moody an the least thing will set me off. Got a note from a preacher saying a few things so I went off on him. He was stating some things that don't need to be said. I usually don't go off but he said something doesn't need be said on trying to tell us how to live as a christian.

Hope you ladies are doing good an other things.

 

[Barnabibear]

:wave: Hi everyone :wave:

I haven't been on here in ages (trying to get my head together). So, I'm sorry if I don't say hello to everyone individually.

Max: I'm so sorry to hear you're news. Its seems alot of us have had our happy news only for it to be taken away again. Still.... onwards we go.

PDMC: I can't wait for you to give us some news.

Pippi: If I didn't chart I wouldn't have a clue when to do the do with dh. I agree with Mistty, tiredness etc can get in the way. We have a very different pattern now to when we first got together 5 years ago and those golden couple of days when an OPK is positive gave us the motivation.


Garfie: I know you're not on here at the moment but just wanted to say I was sorry to hear your news about the fire. That's awful.

AFM: Have hospital appointment on 12th March to get my blood test results back. Hoping they can identify why MC keeps happening but I'm expecting they won't have anything useful to give me. My BBT is significantly lower now, does that mean something??? My AF is still AWOL so I think I'm in for a long wait until my cycles start up again. I'm fed up with this waiting business.

 

[maxxiandniko]

:wave: Hi everyone :wave:

I haven't been on here in ages (trying to get my head together). So, I'm sorry if I don't say hello to everyone individually.

Max: I'm so sorry to hear you're news. Its seems alot of us have had our happy news only for it to be taken away again. Still.... onwards we go.

PDMC: I can't wait for you to give us some news.

Pippi: If I didn't chart I wouldn't have a clue when to do the do with dh. I agree with Mistty, tiredness etc can get in the way. We have a very different pattern now to when we first got together 5 years ago and those golden couple of days when an OPK is positive gave us the motivation.


Garfie: I know you're not on here at the moment but just wanted to say I was sorry to hear your news about the fire. That's awful.

AFM: Have hospital appointment on 12th March to get my blood test results back. Hoping they can identify why MC keeps happening but I'm expecting they won't have anything useful to give me. My BBT is significantly lower now, does that mean something??? My AF is still AWOL so I think I'm in for a long wait until my cycles start up again. I'm fed up with this waiting business.

Thanks Barna. My RE says that prior to seeing a heartbeat the issue is usually hormonal and after the heartbeat it's usually chromosomal. Are you going to do anything different this cycle? I started taking OvaBoost, Prenatals and Royal Jelly and I'm thinking of acupuncture. I feel kind of stupid because I think those things are just me grasping at straws. I may end up back at ivf but we can't get that started until I get my period. Then I'd have to wait a cycle because my husband and I agreed that we'd discuss ivf 6 weeks after the d&c when I'm not "hormonal". Ok. He doesn't want to do the ivf because of how hard it was the last time as I delivered the twins at 28 weeks. They're absolutely fine and we could always just put one embryo back and freeze any others we have and we could do pgd but he's basically saying we have it all right now why mess with it. How do I argue with that? I say a singleton pregnancy may not result in preterm labor and he says but you're two years older and older women are at an increased risk of having preterm labor. I could go on. Well the official discussion won't happen till March 11th which will be 6 weeks and not a second before. Let me know what you find out Barni. I'm very interested.

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hi bigger!

 

[Barnabibear]

Hi Max,

I will let you know if my blood test results reveal anything. I've been told the same thing, its probably age and chromasomal issues (because a heartbeat is always seen and then by 8 weeks something seems to go wrong). Well, thats from the GPs. In fact all the docs etc I've seen through this MC keep mentioning donor eggs.

I'm already (and have been taking for 6+ months) a whole load of vitamins which include Royal Jelly, Omega 3, Co-enzyme Q10, Vit B complex, Folic acid, Selenium to name a few!!! I stopped taking them while pregnant but now I'm back on them.

I had acupuncture for 3 months prior to my last pregnancy and she thinks that my MC is due to lack of care from the hospital but she's obsessed with me having sticky blood because I mentioned that they tested me for that after losing my son. Despite the results being normal she still thinks its an issue that needs treating. I'm not sure if its straw clutching but she knows her stuff. I've just started seeing her again to try and balance my hormones really. I'm sure she'll have something to say about whatever test results come back. I'm just praying my cycle comes back soon. It took 2 months for my first AF after my MC last time.

Here's hoping your discussion with DH goes well when the time comes. My hubby is much the same as yours it would seem. We're waiting for these results back before any discussions on what to do next. I think he wants to forget about the idea completely but I'm not ready to do that yet.

 

[Maddy40]

Pdmcd good luck with testing

I hope everyone else had a nice Valentines Day. We are into our final cycle of IUI after yet another chemical preg. Just jabbing and waiting now!

 

[maxxiandniko]

Good luck Maddy! I have a good feeling for you.

Barni - I'm doing acupuncture too starting next monday. I started before my iivf cycle so a lot of good that did me. But I figure it can't hurt. I'm taking OvaBoost, Royal Jelly and Prenatals. I just started those too and I totally feel like I'm grasping at straws. I know deep down inside that ivf is the smartest thing to do but since I can't do that now (didn't get my first period yet) I figure I'll try some other stuff that will give me the illusion of having control. My husband says our final convo will happen on March 11th which is 6 weeks to the day after my d&c. The idea is that by 6 weeks I'll have had my period and then he can be sure that what I'm saying is not pregnancy-hormonal induced. So we wouldn't start a cycle of ivf till mid-march at the very earliest if we do that at all. I figured that I'll have at least two cycles of ovulation by then so why not try something? He will absolutely do ivf if I ask him but he thinks that we had such a rough go of the pregnancy and birth of th twins last time that why should we mess with something's that not's broken. All the evidence points in his favor and I'm so superstitious that all I keep thinking is if I force him to do ivf it really will all go wrong. I feel very stuck.

 

[pdmcd17]

So I tested and the test was a dud no lines not even the control I will get one tomorrow or the next day. I'm kinda scared though if the test is negative I will be devastated as the later af is the more optimistic I get

I am having some nausea but I'm not sure if its related to my going off the metformin and my body now trying to regulate my blood sugars on its own

Ill keep you posted

How is everyone else

 

[maxxiandniko]

PD - I'm really hoping this is it for you! It all sounds good. You've never been this late right?

I bought opk's and it looks like I'm inching my way towards ovulation. My husband goes away on business on Tuesday so hopefully I'll ovulate before then or soon after. I won't be testing at all this time around.