TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[booth19]

Just dropped in as been really busy but didn't want to just run:

Garfie - really sorry to hear of your loss, hopefully the r/c clinic may have some answers for you , sending virtual hug.

Pipi - its never over until its over, I will have everything crossed for you for slow riser and you double on Monday.

Hi to everyone else and hopefully someone gets a sticky one soon

 

[garfie]

Afternoon Ladies

Sorry I've not been around.............

Pippi - Fingers crossed you get some nice doubles on Monday - Fingers crossed for you hun.

Love to all the other ladies

AFM - I have had a bit of a tough week - I waited for the recurrent m/c nurse to call me back - bad news I have to wait until at least June before they will even consider testing me and then it could be a long old haul only to find out they can't fix it

All of the departments are in agreement as well - Blood, HSG and Ultrasound that I have to wait at least 2 cycles

So after a very tearful and heart searching few days with hubby we have made some decisions - we are going to carry on as normal (after all what do we have to lose?) apart from god forbid another baby

Time is ticking for us as a couple - hubby wanted to say enough was enough last year (but I fell pregnant) unfortunately we know how that story ended

So our time is coming to a close and if we wait around for tests it may never happen We have decided in June to decide if we want Sheffield to begin testing on me or just leave it up to nature

Also hubby has agreed to have a SA done (can you believe they have never tested him at all) This is a major step forward for us.

If we don't manage to get pregnant this year, the beginning of next hubby is going for the snip (that tells me it is final) as we have both agreed we didn't particularly need a baby to make our life complete but we both wanted one and now we have lost four - hubbys take is maybe it's not meant to be, my take is the odds have got to be in our favour soon

We also chatted about how he felt about the losses and how he dealt with them (he has also agreed to be there more for me) which is a bonus as every loss he has been around but not been there if that makes sense

I told him I thought a baby would bring us all closer as a unit (I have two boys already) and he said he realises now he needs to do more as a family and if we have a baby that would be a bonus.

We also agreed we need to make bd more fun as it has become all about timing and I even tried to explain my charts and said to him what if all the problem doesn't lie just with me? - yes I am older, but looking at our bd pattern it looks like you can crack the egg but can you fertilize it is your swimmers strong enough? - Never has he taken an interest in the charts, OPK etc preferring to say just show me if you get two lines.

Sorry this has turned into an essay - but now we have had "the chat" I feel a lot happier - obviously ask me again next year (snip time) and I might feel differently but for now we are both in a happier place which can't be bad can it?

to all of you (and me)



X

 

[Butterfly67]

Garfie it is good that you have had a long chat with hubby I also think that some of the time it is just bad luck especially when we have older eggs and possibly some dodgy sperm, it might just be a case of catching a good one of each. I hope it doesn't come to DH having the snip

 

[Mistyy]

Garfie -

I can empathise exactly with what you are saying about time! It's beyond our control. So hard.

I'm surprised your DH hasn't had a SA done. I thought that was one of the first things they did. It's partly why i have always been reluctant to go down the testing/intervention route - i worry about a 'blame game' setting in somehow IYKWIM, especially as DH has no kids of his own but i do. It always seemed to me that if we found out it was him with the problem and we ended up as we are today - without luck on the TTC front - it may be too much for him. Sounds dramatic but i know him very very well. Deep down although it's me that does the tears and tantrums, i'm actually stronger than him. It was clear early on that our happiness as a couple must never be put second to my/our desire for a child together. It's still a bitter pill though.

Pippi - hanging tough there lovely? xxx

Everyone - hope you're enjoying the sun shine today!
Love and to us all xxxx

 

[greens]

Talking with partner is really good

 

[pdmcd17]

Pippi fx'd cross hon

Garfie that long talk sounded good, I'm glad you were able to make decisions.

I'm in a similar boat waiting for dh to have the first consult for his snip and book the procedure . I will be devastated for a few days after but it is a final door closing.

I'm still waiting for af to arrive, and as a cruel joke I got a yeast infection . Ironically I think I ovd on tues but hadn't bd cause of the yeast infection.
I'm technically due for af tomorriow, if I was on cycle but if she comes I'm guessing it'll be in almost two weeks. I'm now on cd 48.

I'm living the no af and no pms symptoms, when she comes she'll be miserable to deal with though

It was nice to see so many people pop on glad to know your still out there

 

[Pippi_elk]

Good luck Garfie, its a long wait to get yourself tested....so you may as well keep trying and hopefully catch a good egg. On the forum for the clinic i attended for ivf, when some have recurrent mc the specialists I think often advise treating with steroids, drugs for immune issues etc. rather than paying for the tests as they often don't reveal any specific issues and the treatment is cheaper than the tests.

Thanks girls but Really no hope for Monday as when i POAS absolutely noting. So levels probably not even rising to what you had Maddy. Just hoping it will be zero on Monday and that Af arrives....at this stage thats probably the best outcome. Think my symptoms this week were just Ibs afterwards....
Had booked tickets for a play this afternoon so it was good to have something to go to and distract ourselves.

 

[Butterfly67]

Pippi

 

[Maddy40]

Oh Pippi Be kind to yourself. If your HCG is headed down, then I totally believe some is in order.

Garfie...what a crock that the MC clinic can't see you for so long. Sounds like a good convo with DH though I know it's different for everyone, but for me I really need a 'deadline' in place. No way could I commit to actively TTC, fertility specialists and interventions without knowing my end-point

Misty...I think that blame game is very real. In fact I recall being very relieved when both DH and I were identified with 'issues'. Now we can joke about both being faulty

BF...ooooh DE time is getting closer. I'm soooo living my life vicariously through you, you know

Pdmcd...what the heck, a yeast infection as well Wish you could catch a break, lady How is DH feeling about moving on from TTC?


AFM, another scan Monday. Praying my old decrepit eggs are starting to ripen by then...

 

[Mistyy]

and for Pippi and Maddy today xxx

and :wave: to everyone else xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Hope things went well maddy with scan today.

Hope all you other ladies are well....

Thanks everyone for the virtual hugs. In the soap opera of my ivf the lastest update is that my levels are now at 18. Three days ago they were 5. so they said something is going on but they not sure what. could just be a pregnancy that won't end well, could be etopic...they not sure. every home test i do with first morning urine is completely negative. I have not got af yet so still left in a quandary.

So I have to go back on Friday for another blood test...absolute nightmare. We had accepted that it's a negative and we had quite a tough weekend. Not i am back to not being sure but I really can't see this ending well. Nurse really did n't give me any opinion on whether its good or bad....just they not sure and have to keep a close eye on things.
How will I last till Friday ??.....well maybe af will arrive in the meantime.

To top it all i fell over a bollard left in the middle of the footpath this morning on my way into work (i was fixing my umbrella and not looking where I was walking). So my knee, hip, back and elbow now hurt. Luckily noting broken/sprained but felt a right prat.

 

[pdmcd17]

Pippi. Big hugs I'm still keeping everything crossed do you.

I don't know what a bollard is ( gonna consult dr google shortly), but not nice to trip over anything. Feel better soon

That's my worst fear when in run is I will trip over a raised bit if sidewalk and smash my face and teeth.

Hope everyone else is good

 

[Maddy40]

In the soap opera of my ivf the lastest update is that my levels are now at 18. Three days ago they were 5. so they said something is going on but they not sure what. could just be a pregnancy that won't end well, could be etopic...they not sure. every home test i do with first morning urine is completely negative. I have not got af yet so still left in a quandary.

Pippi I remember this being the absolute pits of the wait - my Dr said it's definitely a pregnancy once HCG is over 5 but that between 5-50 he would take a 'wait and see' attitude. There are definitely success low-riser stories out there, but somehow I just knew that wasn't the case for me. I really, really hope you are one of the successes though.


My scan on Monday showed 5 follies and egg retrieval will be on Friday.

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hi everyone I'm back. I took a break because all I seemed to be doing is clicking on the positive pregnancy test gallery pictures or reading about how someone else who's been on here for awhile (not this thread) and how they're pregnant again with their second, third, whatever. I read back over some posts but all I can remember is that poor pippi - you have to wait till Friday for a blood test, garfie - sorry you're so down, maddy - good luck with retrieval, barni - hi, pd - too bad the witch got you and I LOVE Duran Duran!

I was considering not taking the Clomid this cycle. I know deep down inside right now is not the time to get pregnant. That made it sound like I'd have an easy time getting pregnant ha ha. We're moving either the last week of June or first week of July. I think I have to accept that I will be doing IVF sometime in the fall BUT I'm going to keep praying that it works out before then. It's CD 1 for me today so we'll see.

 

[Mistyy]

Pippi - we will keep everything crossed for as long as it takes! Doesn't it seem amazing how science still cant tell us the most basic info sometimes. So many ''not sure''s. Arrgghh.

Hi Maxi - it's not good when you catch yourself using a site to torture yourself rather than use it for support. It's easily done. i've done it myself, and it's one of the reasons why here and my own page of FF are the only places you'll find me on the internet with regards to TTC these days.

Wow that's good news Maddy about your scan! Friday is another big day for you and pippi then

PDMCD - hi hon :wave:

AFM - CD7 here On the house move - i think we can safely say the house we have chosen in the new village is ours now. There's still so much to sort out. Right now we're trying to decide weather to rent a van and move ourselves, or pay a mover. ££££££££££££ Either way it looks like we'll be off in about 3 weeks.

 

[Pippi_elk]

technically it was a traffic cone i fell over and not a bollard !....i looked up images for a bollard but actually a bollard is something thats fixed into the ground. guess you must call it something else PDMC in N. America

the traffic cone did n't move thought so quite heavy....stiff and sore shoulder today but that should pass.

I fell years ago and broke a front tooth...so when I was falling yesterday I had my head stuck right up in the air so there was no way I was letting my teeth touch the ground if I could help it...funny what you instintctively do.


great you found a house Misty....you found something quite quickly after.
when we last moved Misty...we hired some men with a van. they were n't technically movers so they were cheaper but meant they did the lifting. suppose it depends on how valuable your stuff is as they probably were n't insured for breakages etc.

good luck for Friday Maddy....fingers crossed that you get a good result.had to laugh when I read your journal last week about your duaghters opinion of the scan !

oh max, stay away from those other pages. I still to a few sites where people are ttc. could n't cope with the pages annoucing bfps.


still waiting here, blank on home pregnancy test this morning so like you Maddy I know instinctively that this is not going to go anywhere. Suppose there is always hope until I get the results on Friday but if its not been picked up by home pregnancy tests by thursday or Friday I won't need to wait on a blood test to know the outcome. thanks everyone for your support...

 

[pdmcd17]

Maddy goodluck on fri

Max I rarely go on the other pages its too hard I stick to this lovely group!
You have alot on the go with the upcoming move, with lo's

Misty that is great about the house, I moved last aug just dh me an two teens and I dumped a lot of my stuff including furniture. It was a pain but moving a whole house even with dumping stuff I'd hire someone next time alot less stress just move your valuable on your own ie tv etc

Pip I'm sorry I'm praying your a late riser you're in my thought and a big hug to you
I did google bollard we have some here I just didn't know what they were called I assumed boat hitches.

I still love our different terms we use in different areas even though we all speak English. Shows our unique differences!

Afm still waiting no signs , I'm thinking she'll pop in next 2weeks and be quite miserable to deal with

Have a good day ladies

 

[garfie]

Morning Ladies

Misty - Great news about the house move - I agree it depends on how valuable your stuff is as to who you should get to move it when we moved a few years ago - hubby borrowed the work van got some mates and we moved (our stuff went into storage at his work) good job it wasn't this year or we wouldn't have had anything left - remember the fire ripping through the factory we moved into a caravan for 74 days but that's a full story on it's own hope your move goes nice and smooth - and I still believe new house new baby

PD - Limbo land isn't much fun is it - the only consolation we have all been there Ok now I'm going to look up boat hitches I have an idea in my head let's see if I'm right

Pippi - You poor thing not knowing - but I think deep down we all know what our body is trying to tell us mine certainly gives me enough signs now whether I listen to them or not that is a different matter - fingers crossed hun you just have a slow riser and hope you don't ache as much today

Maddy - Ooh that sounds promising - good luck at your scan on Friday

Maxi - I drive myself bonkers on other sites - I like to think I am supportive but sometimes it gets right on my (.)(.) when I see someone announce there pregnancy after an ooops or even worse when someone tells me to relax and it will happen - no disrespect but it is usually some whipper snapper fresh out of bloody school - because they have experienced what with their lives - ok rant over until the next time

Butterfly - Hi

Barna - Have you been to your FS yet I can't remember

AFM - I'm on CD12 and had a lovely temp rise this morning - so I think I may be in the TWW of course my friend Fertility hasn't said anything yet

Love to all the other ladies



X

 

[Mistyy]

Garfie - hello lovely So good to hear you sounding so upbeat OMG to living in a caravan for 70+ days When ex.husband and i moved up here from London 13 years ago it was a massive upheaval, schools, jobs, the lot, and a move from a fairly airy large modern home in London to a neglected 100 year old overgrown cottage in the middle of nowhere. I didn't know a soul, no mobile signal and we didn't have t-interent! Didn't even know where the nearest Tesco was XH went back to London to his parents on the first night for 3 weeks leaving me with 2 year old DD, (a dangerous unfenced pond in the garden) our dogs, our cats, the guinea pigs, the whole house move to unpack and a filthy cottage with dodgy electrics to sort out and make habitable.

To be honest, thinking about all that makes me realise this move is a piece of cake! This time i have as supportive husband, the kids are old enough to help lift stuff, and the house we are going to is a normal one. (sold the cottage 4 years ago. it was beautiful in the end, but it had to go as part of the divorce settlement)

Anyway - we've found a mover who's quoted us £400 which includes 60 packing boxes for us to keep. That's not including shifting the garage stuff (DH's cement mixer/bricklaying stuff, DH will do that with his van) - i think that's an ok price. I've said yes. Our furniture is average sort of stuff for a family of five. 2 ginormous sofas and a bloody great oak dinning table is the worst of it really. Hey ho.

Rambling on terribly - so sorry

PDMCD - i do hope AF shows up soon for you - so you can get your cycle in order. It's a catch 22 isn't it? Trying to enjoy AF free time - but wanting the damn thing to show up.

Pippi - bless you i want to believe there's still hope until someone tells you otherwise. Nature has a funny way of winning through sometimes. This must be so stressful for you and hubby. Please don't fall over any more! (i fell over last summer, felt a right prat)

:wave: to all - Barnie, Maxi, Maddy, Greens, Butterfly, Booth, Pussycat, Bigger :wave:

 

[pdmcd17]

Hi garfie!

Misty glad you got movers!!!

So af arrived this afternoon I want expecting her at all.
Also dh just txts me from boys night out sil is having a csection right now
I was honestly ok with af being here till now. Really wish he hadn't told me as we're suppose to go his folks house this weekend.
Karma has this nasty sense of humour. Granted I'm sure no matter what timing it happened its still sting

If af wasn't so heavy and it wasn't snowing ( in Apri)l I'd go for a run to clear my head

Rant and pity party over feels good to verbalized it ( granted type it).