TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[greens]

Very sorry for you to read this

 

[Spoomie]

Bless you Garfie, so so sorry. We can all understand your devastation and your overwhelming pain. I hope you are surrounded by lots of love xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Oh no Garfie. So sorry to hear....really was not expecting bad news from you this time.

Guess the extra scans will help pin point the time the hb stopped ...hope they can do some tests on the foetus to see what might have caused it.

Big hugs to you

 

[pdmcd17]

Garfie hon I'm so sorry for you both, I wish there was more that I could do the a big cyber hug.

Take care of yourself

 

[Mistyy]

Oh Garfie my love. I am so so sorry. Nothing any of us can say will ease the pain but i'm sending you both love and strength. What a horrible shock.
Please do stay with us. There maybe some comfort we can give you.

We've been back online for precicely half an hour. Was meant to be yesterday. The first thing i've done is log on here to see how my ladies are. My last little post was a rushed one done in Costa on their free internet. With my bloody great lap top all over the table. I had to do some banking stuff, check a million emails and get a line off to you guys all in about 10 mins! So sad for your last update to be such tragic news Garfie.

Pippi - i feel for you on the ''small BD window pressure to time it right'' front. Thankfully DH has always managed to 'deliver', but i'm very familiar with that 'forcing them into it' feeling. It takes away all the joy. It's much easier for us physically at that point i suppose. We really only have to be there and be willing ..... they have to actually have an orgasm. I'm pretty sure i couldn't do that on demand.

I stopped temping because DH was having to log onto FF on his phone to do it for me and then FF got all funny and started saying it no longer knew my ov day dohh so i thought bugger this - and stopped.

PDMCD - lord woman you must be literally wrung out! Take that iron supplement. I'm so sorry to hear you're having to go through this. When are you seeing someone to sort it?

Maddy - with you on the tiredness, bloated, emotional mess'ness. I cried all through my scan last week. 2nd midwife appt. later today. Sobbed all over her last time, 2 weeks ago she's probably dreading me coming in! Really must get a grip

Butterfly - Everything crossed here for you.

To all: I've caught up with everyone and am wishing everyone well. Lovely to see so many old faces popping in. Don't feel i can do personals for all or it will turn epic! PoP where are you hun?

Great to be back, and thank you for all your thoughts xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Maddy40]

Oh Garfie, I was so very very sorry to read your news I know nothing we can say will heal the pain, but know we are thinking of you

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi ladies, I've been following this thread but haven't posted in ages. Garfie so sorry to hear your sad news, I can only repeat what everyone else has said. Stay strong, you've been through so much already which shows your strength. We're all here for you.
Ladies I hope everyone else is well, I have been following your stories even if I haven't posted.
AFM, we've had a break from drs and injections and the roller coaster of IVF, the hope and the heartbreak. I had my fertility bloods done and again 2 weeks ago and they confirmed what I knew: my AMH levels have fallen massively in a year from 10.9 last year to 1.9 and it explains my poor response to stimulation drugs. Not surprising as im now 42. However FSH was 5.8 which is lower than before and I've been told that it should be below 8, LH 3.1 and oestrodel less than 55. So although my ovarian reserve is low, all else is good (I think), is that how you'd read this? My consultant says its still worth one more ICSI in August, by then I'll have had 3 months of DHEA supplements and 1 month rest. So last chance saloon to have a baby that's 50% genetically me, I have to be positive about this. My other half wonders if we should go direct to donor eggs, but I'm willing to go through the highs and lows for one more chance.

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi Pussycat those other numbers do look perfectly fine and I have seen people get pg with low AMH so I think you definitely have a good chance

AFM I'm going for my DE transfer on Monday. I'll find out tomorrow how many of the donors 9 eggs get fertilised. Fingers crossed a few of them do

 

[Nise]

Oh Garfie, I am so saddened to read your post. I wish you all the strength in the world. Thinking of you. xxxxxx

 

[Mistyy]

Garfie - how are you? Are you still there?

Butterfly - thinking of you tomorrow

xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Thanks hon, hope you are doing well.

Transferring 1 embie tomorrow, looks like I will have 3 frosties

 

[garfie]

Hi Ladies

Yes I'm still here - trying to hang on I have a final scan Tuesday (although I know in my heart of hearts what it will reveal)

My boobs have now stopped hurting, cramping is becoming more intense and now my spotting has gone from brown to a reddish colour when wiping

I feel lost at the moment but know I will get through this - after all I have two boys that need me - 3 if you include hubby

Hubby has also said he wants to try again straight away as soon as I feel up to it (remember I told you the door handle is in sight)

I hope I can make it until my DNC and then maybe just maybe they may carry out tests on the baby.

The scary thing look at when I have lost 3 of my babies that have made it past a few weeks - all in the month of June June 2011, June 2012, June 2013

Misty - I hope you are having lots of gorgeous symptoms and your pregnancy is going well have you got any scan dates coming up?

Butterfly - how excited are you? - safe travels

I will catch up properly when I feel more upto it



X

 

[Pippi_elk]

Great new butterfly, so 3 backups is great. ...good luck. Can you really believe its happening ?
Like they layout of your blog...nice and clean. Is that you lying across the top ???

Hang in there Garfie, yea hope you make it to Tuesday so they can examine it hopefully. ...jezz sounds terrible hoping you make it to a D&C. When do you go back to see the consultant..the one who said your were to stop trying for 3 months ?

Good luck pussycat with icsi in August. We'll probably go once more for ivf (maybe in August) and maybe call it a day then with OE. Don't know what to think about DE.

Glad all is going well Misty. Hope you are settled into your new home, at least that stress is over now. How many weeks are you now? I have lost track...
Yea don't think I could perform on demand like that either...I think once you get one or two incidents of non performance it becomes an issue in your mind..as much as physically. When its happened before a few weeks of normal bd and everything comes back to normal.
Dh went to gp last week as he was thinking of trying to change meds to something with less sexual side effects. But gp did nt want to rock the boat changing meds so she prescribed him the little blue pill beginning with V !
she said that will help him finish ....and its not just used for ED. she was good and talked about the physchology of it all and maybe having the table as a back up will help take the pressure off. Have to pay £20 for 4 tables....as NHs covers it only for a limited no. of illnesses.
So we'll see how we get on next month at ovulation...think af is on her way today.

Hello everyone else...

 

[Butterfly67]

Ha ha no that is not me Pippi

 

[Mistyy]

Garfie - and and Be gentle with yourself. I hope the next few days go as well as they can sweetheart. The June thing .... wow. That's ... really shocking. You will indeed get through this. Be strong.

Yes i have an NHS 12 week nuchal scan booked for the 12th July. I'll be 12+4 by then. They wont bring it forward for me ... so ... i've booked myself a private test, in London on the 1st July, called the Harmony test. It's a blood test, 99% accurate, for the commonest trisomies. It'll still take 10 to 14 days for the results, but if my NHS scan is unclear or bad, then i'll have the back up of the Harmony test results a day or two later. If all goes to plan. This will saves me waiting and worrying about asking for a CVS or amnio. Both of which are invasive of course.

The baby i miscarried 2 years ago was suspected of having heart defects and a trisomy. Therefore i have been given a very very high risk factor of it happening again. 1 in 20 in fact. So we need to know.

It's a very peculiar thing - so joyful, and at the same time so worried.

Butterfly - for you that all goes well and stays well

 

[Nise]

Garfie, sending hugs stay strong lovely.

Butterfly - good luck for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you with everything crossed for another bfp announcement soon.

Misty - So pleased all is going well. It's such a shame that the joy is underlined with worry. So not fair - but don't let it get a grip, stay happy and smile lots and keep the good endorphins flooding through your body.

AFM - well, everything is going well. We had our first taste of night terrors last week. I'd only been asleep an hour and a half when I woke up to crying and found K sobbing her little heart out. She'd had a dream about her parents fighting. Was knackered the next day as I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards.

 

[Maddy40]

Garfie.... take gentle care of yourself

Nise..... ah good old night terrors. So glad you're getting the whole gamut of parenting experiences

Mistyy.... totally understand you going for the Harmony ahead of NF testing. My doctor won't use the blood tests, claims it hasn't been tested thoroughly enough in Australia Having my NF scan/bloods at 12+3, so just a few days ahead of you. I'm also high-risk given my history & age.

Butterfly... I think you're probably in the stirrups right now as I post this! Sending you

Pippi... which meds do you think might be 'affecting' DH ..we've had something similar and wondered if it might have been one of the supplements DH was prescribed?

Pussycat... good luck getting back on the bandwagon


AFM...10+3 today and still feeling great. I admit I feel terribly lucky to have avoided MS. Finally got a handle on the reflux (ie: it's still there but less invasive with the new meds) and things are good. I had to buy a jeans-expander as my favourite jeans are approaching 'too-tight' status....

 

[Pippi_elk]

Like your new ticker Misty, advance congrats on reaching 10 weeks.
Good luck with the scan and a 1 in 20 souns low but I know you want to know for sure.

Good luck for tomorrow Garfie and hope its not too traumatic.

Poor Lg nice. At least if this is her first night terror she does not get them that ofton and hope it'll diminish further now she feels happy and safe.

Maddy, my dh is on anti depressants for anxiety....they have a know sexual side effect. Ifs fine if we just have sex like normal once-twice a week but bit more difficult at ovulation when we need to do it more ofton.
Not sure what supplements would cause similar effects...but dr did say performance anxiety is very common in couples ttc as the pressure gets to them.
Glad you're doing ok....exciting getting the jeans expander. Probably starting to feel a bit more real now.

 

[garfie]

Misty - Hope you are doing well and starting to blossom

Maddy - My jeans were to tight at around 6 weeks (I'm now back in them and wish I wasn't)

AFM - I am booked in for a DNC tomorrow - seems like my little miracle didn't happen this time It does say all over my file TO CARRY OUT TESTING so who knows maybe I will get some answers maybe not



X

 

[Mistyy]

Garfie - If 'blossom' = feeling fat, sick and achey then yes, i am. Thank you My jeans were ditched about 10 days ago. Just felt all wrong being buttoned in that tight. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow hon. You are being tremendously brave

Pippi - thank you i worried that getting a ticker would jinx me Amazing the daft things we think! I think i have gone slightly mad! 1 in 20 works out at 5%. That's 95% chance of everything being ok. BUT - my odds were better than that last time - but i was the unlucky 1 in 500 or what ever it was Sorry - i'm being a miserable moo

Maddy - you're 4 days ahead of me only! Wow! That's no time at all! I didn't realise we were that close actually. Interesting to hear the differences in care offered between our countries. The Harmony blood test - although the blood is taken from you here it is sent to the USA to be tested. Even at our most pricey clinics. Therefore the UK must still not have the actual facilities to perform the test on the blood yet. It'll be a while, then, before it is offered on the NHS here i'm guessing.

Nise - bless her! How lovely that she has you now. I hope the bad dreams fade away soon. In your care i'm sure they will


Moi - 10 weeks today then Been going to bed at 9.30pm! Cannot stay awake any later than that Getting up a couple of times every night to wee. Forgot about all that

Love and to all xxx