TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Pippi_elk]

Oh Barnie you are strong...eventhough I'm sure its taking its toll on you.

While I have had to cope with a mc and chemical pregnancy...don't think I could ever cope with loosing your son like you did.

Don't give up hope as I'm sure that's keeping you going. Did you ever have councilling ...I think by law the ivf clinics in UK have to have a councillor? We didn't have any but after the last ivf bfn i really felt I wanted it....but the clinic is far from home so we never made the effort to go for it.
Some people who attend my clinic have said its really good....but I guess its not for everybody.

Lol misty and the rabbit poo ! Yes I remember the tough time you use to have with in-laws etc. I know its scary to feel how you want this pregnancy so much.....

Glad one tube is nice and clear Garfie.

Had my egg collection this morning and I'm typing this from bed as went and had a snooze after it. They got 15 eggs so really pleased with that.
And my hand didn't swell up like last time so good news all round.
They said if they get 16 egg or or more you are at risk of hyper stimulation so I have to keep an eye on my symptoms..

Dh said when I came round I was asking did his donation go ok (as he does his bit while I'm in theatre)? Did he aim right ? Did it all go into the pot ?(we were talking how small/narrow the collection pot was before I went into theatre). He said I gave him the thumbs up even though my eyes were almost rolling back in my head!
So embarrassing...poor nurses to hear that!

 

[Butterfly67]

Barni my heart goes out to you, I also don't know how you cope after losing your little boy like that I can't even bear to think about anything like that happening so I try and bury my head in the sand

Have you thought about using donor eggs? I know it is not for everyone but the success rates are really good and I don't think it costs too much more than IVf with own eggs

Mistyy yes I also lol'ed about your tmi. I still remember you getting your BFP and the months and years we have all waited, so sad that it can't just happen to all of us. But am also eagerly awaiting some more BFPs in the new year (or before )

Pippi wow 15 eggs is brilliant, fingers crossed DHs swimmers do their job and you have loads of great embies to pick from

Maddy, not long at work now, sounds like it is all coming together

Hello to Pussycat, greens, garfie, Maryanne, Nise, booth, maxxiandniko and anyone else who I have missed or may be lurking.

Wow there are 14 guests viewing this thread

 

[Mistyy]

14 people watching the thread?! Come on ladies! Join us

Pippi - 15 eggs Brilliant! i loved your comments to DH whilst coming to from the anesthetic! Great story! Concentrating muy best vibes at you now ....

Butterfly and Maddy - How are you feeling? xxx

Me - well i went to see a consultant yesterday (an appt. i should have had at 24 weeks, so 10 weeks late! i knew nothing about going back to see a consultant regularly as no-one told me i was expected back, and the MW has only just noticed from my notes that i've not been seen. Such safe hands i'm in ay? NOT!) She gave me ABs for urine infection, did my BP, and listened to baby's heart. BP fine, heart beat strong, all good. THEN she started talking about them wanting to induce me at 39 weeks! No one has mentioned this to me before! What fresh hell is this?! It's to do with maternal age, and placental deterioration and risk of still-birth (I'm sorry to bring this up Barnie - i'm thinking of you as i write this, and i thought of you yesterday while the consultant was speaking to me). She's managed to put the fear of God into DH and i and i was almost in tears on drive home. I think we had only just begun to relax a little. We're worried now because early induction can stress baby, can end in a C section, and be generally more painful and complicated than a natural birth. I've been googling and made myself even more worried - different areas and different hospitals have different protocol. No straight answers to help weigh the risks up. I'd feel better if there was someone i felt confident in talking to - but i feel less than impressed with the whole care team right now, from GP, to MW to consultant. Sorry for the me, me


xxxx

 

[Butterfly67]

OMG Mistyy you really haven't been looked after well at all. I would get all these mistakes written down and perhaps send a letter when you have everything together.

Yes they have also said to me about induction at 39 weeks as they said there is a better outcome for those over 35. To be honest I was just thinking that I would be happy to get baby out by that stage but that may be only because they didn't mention all that other stuff. I have an appointment with the consultant on Monday so maybe he will talk more about it then

Pippi how many embies did you get?

 

[Mistyy]

Thanks butterfly. It's good to know someone else has heard of this at least!! I'm going to drop it into the convo. with the NCT ladies tomorrow (1st coffee get together) as a couple of them look late 30's early 40's. (although i'll be tactful - i could be wrong! )

If it's best for baby then so be it, of course. I've read the 'comments' on the NHS website about induction and they are quite interesting. It's after reading those that i started to wonder about risks to baby, etc, and i found info. that said a high % of women who are induced go on to need a C section, forceps, catheters, drips, heavy duty pain relief etc. EEEK. Stress to the baby is a big worry too.

I too feel quite happy at the idea of the pregnancy itself being shorter ... cant wait to see baby ... BUT - with the small amount of concerning stuff i've already read about induction i'm rapidly going off the idea. I think i'll have to wait really and speak to the consultant i'm booked in with on the 6th Jan. Long time to wait and worry though. No point in asking MW next week is there?!

It's good to get this off my chest here. I hope no one minds

xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

In that case I think I might stay away from Dr Google on that topic and just remain ignorant

 

[Pippi_elk]

Oh Misty...to be not taken proper care of and then have that information dropped on you like a ton of bricks is not nice.

I guess you have to try put it to the back of you mind until you can questions the consultant in January. Speaking as a greenhorn on this...but if they advise induction a week early due to potential problems with the placenta I think I'd be inclined to follow them. I know the delivery might be harder and also maybe more stressful on the baby but to have problem with the placenta in the last week probably carries more risk. However You are caught between a rock and a hard place.

I agree with butterfly and think you should stay away from horror stories on the web.
I think the comments section on the NHS website are ofton a bit strange. Do people who are dissatisfied with their treatment go on there to vent so the opinions there are a bit skewed ! can you elicit any more reasonable advice on some of these forums ?


At least butterfly you are now forewarned and can quiz your consultant on Monday !

8 of my 15 eggs fertilised. Was hoping for 60% fertilisation (as that's what some ivf sites say you should get) so got a little below that but still pleased and hope there are a few good embroys in those 8. Did nt ask how many were mature/immature so must find out to see how many could have actually been fertilised. We are using EEVA (camera to monitor their divison etc.) so they will transfer the highest predictors back on Friday.

I have been trying to arrange accupuncture at the clinic pre and post transfer...but can't get anyone that's free to come to the clinic that morning. I can go to them before and after transfer but I read somewhere that that does not result in any higher success rates as the stress of getting to and from there probably counters the relaxing effect of the accupuncture.

 

[Butterfly67]

8 embryos is great Pippi and that gives you a good chance of some frosties for number 2

 

[Mistyy]

Yes, 8 is great Pippi! And the transfer back is tomorrow! All moving along so quickly now. So excited for you! How many will you have transferred? And the 2ww will end on Boxing Day!! Oh my gosh!

What a pity about the accu. on Fri. I do believe quite firmly that there is something in it. When DH and i had it, it was primarily for improving fertility but he also worked on relaxation, peace of mind (madly TTC) and treatment of acute and chronic aches and pains for us ''while we were there'', and for those measurable things it def. did work.

I agree with you about going with the flow on this induction thing. Everything the consultant said did make sense. Trouble is i went home and immediately found out that there was allot she didn't say, and it's left me However I have stepped away from google. I think allot of this is down to the shock/surprise. Basically they might me in in only 4 weeks time!

Butterfly - i'm so sorry if i've worried you! I feel like i've done the equivalent of running into the room shrieking and hand wringing and left you looking like this ... ??

xxx

 

[Maddy40]

Misty....eek what rot your care has been to date. Maternal care definitely varies by country - I specifically asked about induction b/c of advanced maternal age after reading the advice BF got. My midwife checked with the head Ob/Gyn at our hospital and they said that policy here is not to let over-40s go beyond 41 weeks due to the risk of deteriorating placenta, but definately no mention of inducing early.....

Pippi.... wow 8?! That sounds like such a huge number to me. I hope you get some brilliant 'petri-dish action'

 

[Butterfly67]

Butterfly - i'm so sorry if i've worried you! I feel like i've done the equivalent of running into the room shrieking and hand wringing and left you looking like this ... ??

xxx

Ha ha no worries hon, I am just going to go with the flow My biggest worry is that something bad happens during the birth and I'm thinking if they have it all planned then maybe there is less chance of that. Also it really helps to know when I will be going in so that T can come up from London in time and doesn't miss anything

 

[Barnabibear]

I just thought id say this on induction, although I appreciate as my boy wasnt going to be stressed about it I cant comment on that.
Ive been told that if I get pregnant again I will be induced at 35 weeks!

My induction for Archie was pretty straightforward. I had to have pessaries every few hours to get things going, had back ache for about 12 hours as the cervix opens up, then the pains started as I went into proper labour, within an hour Archie was born. I only had gas and air. So, thats my experience of induction but I appreciate my baby was sleeping.

Mistty, if they advise you to do the induction because of placental issues, do it hunny. Dont risk it. Everyones labour is different so don't assume you will have any of the horror stories you've read.


Pippi, you've done brilliantly. I was going to use Eeva but they would only do it with 4 fertilised eggs so I was one short. Good luck.

 

[Mistyy]

Thank you so much Barnie, for sharing your experience of induction with me. Your advice means an awful allot to me actually. I'm thinking i will let them induce me

I've been looking into this a little more. I have a thread on the pregnancy forum of Mumsnet, and am getting some useful responses. One thing that stands out is that how hospital policy differs so much on this.

Maddy - thanks hun, and butterfly - there is def. something to be said for the fact that you can say 'i'll be having baby on this day', yes, rather than a panic.

 

[Pussycat1]

Misty, I've not been lucky enough to get that BFP, however when i asked my clinic about the risks of pregnancy for me or the baby at my age (43), they told me id probably be induced for the reasons you've said.
Another month, another BFN, is 43 too old to carry on trying? I'm not sure I know how to stop hoping that this will happen, I've been hoping for as long as I can remember. If I stop hoping I'm not sure how I deal with it. x

 

[Butterfly67]

Pussycat

I think I was 43 when I started trying I guess we just have to keep going until we know we have given it our best shot. People do get pregnant naturally in their 40s but we just don't have that crystal ball to know if we will be the lucky ones

 

[Pippi_elk]

I'd say pussycat if you are still ovulating and having normal cycles 43 is still young enough to keep trying.
I'm in the same boat and we are going to keep on trying for another while...but I think if this ivf is a bfn I'll not make it such a focus. But its difficult to ttc with a laid back attitude when you want a bfp so much.

Glad misty you are feeling a bit more comfortable with the whole induction thing.

I had embryo transfer yesterday...there were 7 embies still going on day 3. EEVA said 4 were high predictors but embryologist said she did n't think one of those high predictors looked great. So we transferred the 3 high predictors back (a 10 cell medium quality, an 8 of high quality and a 7 of good quality). Test day is Xmas day so need to decide do I want blood test on Xmas eve or the day after Boxing Day. The nurse said one of the other girls having transfer yesterday did not want her results on Xmas eve and I think I feel the same. I'd prefer to get bad news after Xmas day or let af show up.

There are 4 they are going to keep going until Sunday/Monday in the lab...not sure of all the cell sizes/quality of those left etc. I was trying to write stuff down but got a bit bombarded with numbers so lost track....

Barnibear, my clinic said if only have 3 embryos we could chose to get them transferred back on day 2 or use EEVA to see what information it would give but obviously said you are spending money on EEVA and would not be using it to choose which embryo to transfer back. Not sure i up understand the logic in your clinics decisions... even if there are just 4 embroys for EEVA is not there some value as you still have to choose which 2/3 to transfer back.

 

[Butterfly67]

Wow Pippi, good luck with the triplets

 

[Pippi_elk]

Lol butterfly.
I can't find any smilies to represent s*** scarey of triplets but more scared of a bfn !

 

[mumoffive]

Butterfly [ sorry still a lurker on this thread from time to time] i was induced and all went well. Infact i have been induced 3 times. Nothing ever bad happened. I was more concerned about going to far over my due date as i had read it had implications for the baby and being an older mother. I was 43 when i had my dd and my induction was fine. I relaxed knowing i would know the date i would go in and could prepare things. As inductions go, it was fine. I had my baby in 3 hours. There are horror stories and personally, i would keep away from them!! xx Goodluck when the time arrives.

 

[Butterfly67]

Lovely to see you mum of five I'm not really worried about induction itself just that something might go wrong generally in fact i'd rather be induced than go into labour on my own in the middle of the night or something

Pippi maybe that is the icon you need for the triplets