TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Pussycat1]

Pippi! Thinking positive thoughts for you! I know what you mean about triplets! I had three put back last time and it scared the hell out of me! Twins I could cope with (I think!) and would even quite like as I always wanted a big family and twins is probably the only way I'll ever have more than one. Keeping everything crossed for you! I know you're right about ovulating and having regular cycles, just sometimes I have so little fight left (especially when AF shows and brings her old hormone overload with her) and I am in complete shock at how I've got to be 43 and in this position.
Butterfly, you are going to have a beautiful, healthy baby. I think in some ways as older ladies we get looked after better as they are cautious, I also think your fears are completely natural and shared by most ladies no matter what their age. xx

 

[Mistyy]

Pussycat - The first year after my MC i TTC'd with awful desperation. It took up allot of my time and attention (and money trying different things). The second year i sort of just 'coasted along' with TTC. We never had the money to try IF and we agreed that mentally we weren't suited to it anyway.

i agree with Pippi, when it comes down to brass tacks - if you are still having a cycle and ovulating during at least some of those cycles, then there is still a chance for you. Personally i toyed with giving up more than once. I came to the conclusion that i wanted to hit menopause knowing i had kept trying till the bitter end rather than having 'what if' hanging over me in my old age. My 'trying' through the 2nd year simply amounted to using temping on a very basic level (thermometer hanging out of my mouth while having a conversation first thing in the morning) to see if i was ov'ing each month, and trying to wrangle DH into sex on roughly the right 2 nights per month (plus not going too long between sessions the rest of the month). I felt this was a regime i could live with until my periods got irregular or stopped. I did the 2ww every month, and like you say, it's not fun ..... Then i got the miracle BFP! Aged 44. I am so thankful that i ploughed on with my half-hearted ttc like i did. My advice would obviously be to keep at it. At a level that doesn't drive you mad. Keep coming here for a moan and a regular coating of and some

Pippi - and you Mrs! With your 3 embryos! Wow! Here we go .... thinking positive thoughts for you I'd be the same about xmas. Day after Boxing day it is then

Mumoffive - thank you for the positive induction story. I've learned alot about it all and am feeling a leeeeetle bit better about it all. I'm kick counting now. Very important.

Butterfly - :wave:

 

[mumoffive]

Goodluck with your labour Misty Not too long to go!!!

 

[garfie]

Hi Ladies

Still stalking - just not feeling it very much at the mo - I know it's Christmas and everyone expects me to put on a happy face - but shit it's so hard and of course it looks like this cycle is another bust

Was feeling kind of confident things may pan out - but now I'm not so sure I have another scan in January along with more blood tests and hubby has finally got to produce his sample for our appointment beginning of January with a brand new FS all this is good news right? - except hubby announced last night calmly that he didn't want another baby that it was to late so now I don't know what to do - I'm almost like a robot going through the motions of smiling saying I'm fine when my heart is totally broken.

I am not scared to admit that whilst this ttc has been an absolute nightmare I have enjoyed some parts - 2 lines, bfps etc so what will I do now - I have taken my temperature, necked the various tablets, tried lotions and potions and always during the tww there has been a little bit of hope - if that is taken away then what.

I'm really pleased for you ladies who it worked out for and I mean that your journey has not been an easy one but for me all I want to do is curl up in a ball, I feel such a failure and broken.

It seems everywhere I go there is babies, talk of babies etc - I could just about stomach this when I knew there was always a possibility for me but now that there isn't now what

Sorry to moan - when all you ladies are feeling happy and looking forward to Christmas - but I know some of you ladies have stood in my shoes and at the moment they are not very comfy



X

 

[Butterfly67]

Oh Garfie big to you. I hope you don't have to give up but I guess if you do then all you can do is take joy in your two boys, which I know you already do

I saw the lady about the 39 week induction program today and it turns out I'm not included I was upset aout this for a few reasons:

I don't want to go past 40 weeks because of the risk of placenta deterioration

I feel there is more chance of a successful outcome at 39 weeks

I don't want to go into labour on my own with T 70 miles away

I guess I might still be induced if they feel it necessary but now everything seems uncertain

 

[Mistyy]

Garfie! xxxxxx That must have been a horrible shock for you! I have def. been in your shoes, feeling like i'm up to my knees in other peoples baby joy and like i'm drowning in my own private misery. It's a nightmare of a place to be. I am so so sorry. Do you feel that your DH's statement is one that came from his heart, or is he trying somehow to spare you any more of what he perceives as 'TTC heart-ache'? For a while my DH put on quite a show of being generally 'not bothered'.This upset me at the time. In short it was his way of trying to take the pressure off me when all i wanted was to know he was on board. Do all the ranting you want here. Don't ever worry about bringing anyone down. It's what the thread is for, and it's what we're all here for

Butterfly - here's me stressing and resisting induction, and here's you fighting for it! Maybe we could swap identities? (although i think they'd spot something odd going on quite quickly ) Seriously though i think you should take this further. Can you speak to your head of midwives? Change hospitals to one with a different policy?

 

[Pippi_elk]

Yes pussycat its scary putting 3 back but then when you get a bfn I know I'd be even more sad knowing that we should have went for 3. I think the first time with 3 back is more scary.....when i got a bfn after 3 going back then i realised how crap my eggs are, so the likelyhood of multiples is remote

Oh Garfie, maybe let things settle a bit with dh and then try really tell him how you feel and how much you want to have hope that there is a possibility. Does he really know how you feel ? You should go see the new FS and you never know you might get some help there.
Wonder would you consider councilling ? Just even by yourself to work things out a bit ? I know my ivf clinic has a councillor who specialises in this ttc issues and while I know you are not having ivf the experiences of loss, regret, sadness, hopelessness etc are the same

So wierd butterfly and Misty, that Misty is being pushed into induction and even though you want induction, Butterfly, they are denying you at the minute.
Makes you wonder sometimes...I guess its all up to the opinion of the consultant in charge.

Clinic phoned today to say that 1 of out 4 embryos has made it to a blastocyte that's good enough to freeze. So please to have something as a back up. Grade 2ab which I think is ok.
They said its a good sign for the 3 they have put back that one of the lower quality ones got to blastocyte. Looking at the prices for a frozen transfer it's a little over £1000. Pretty steep price for just one embie to go back.
But Here's me the pessimist looking at the negative side.

Getting blood taken 2 days before test date of Xmas day as local satellite clinic is shut Xmas eve. Have asked the main clinic not to phone before Xmas with the result, they put that in my notes so we'll see if they notice it. Of course I'd love a call if its a bfp....

 

[sweetster]

Hi fellow 40+ers!
I am new to this site overall so I missed sharing my TTC journey with you. I am now 4 wks pregnant (tested pos 7 days ago at 8dpo). I was always very interested in reading success stories about ladies in our age group, so here's a little summary.

I'm 40, DH 37, married 15 years and never TTC till this year after a surprise preg/mc at 8 wks in May. No medical issues for either of us, both normal weight healthy non-smoker, non-drinkers who are fit but could always stand to exercise a bit more We eat grass fed whole-fat dairy along with a standard health-conscious diet (always working to get those fruits/veggies in). Nothing we eat is in a low-fat or low-calorie package though - unless nature made it that way! We def eat too much sugar, hence my name "sweetster."

TTC 6 cycles = BFP
Tools used: BBT, OPK, CBFM, Ovacue and Preseed. They didn't all show up at once, but this is the list in the end.
Best/fav tools: BBT paired with CBFM and afternoon OPKs. Oh, and monitoring CM. Preseed was only used externally.

Supplements:
- prenatal. I took a low-dose "raw" prenatal that required 3 pills per day. I divided them am, noon, pm bc most vitamins are water soluble so taking one huge dose really reduces the amount the body absorbs.
- vit C. 1000mg in divided doses am/pm. I got the kind with bioflavonoids. Known to support LP progesterone.
- vit E. 800mg in divided doses am/pm. Known to support LP progesterone.
- B6. 50mg daily. Known to lengthen LP (moved O up 2 days) and support progesterone in LP.
- Ubiquinol. 500-700mg daily in divided doses am/noon/pm. Known to support mitochondria in developing eggs. I also noticed an increase in CM with this.
- PPQ. 10mg daily. Supports mitochondria and chromatin in developing eggs.
- Magnesium. 200-400mg in divided doses daily. Supports progesterone production and prevents constipation from iron in prenatals. Also lessens anxiety.


I've had a lot of symptoms early this go around. Even a day before my BFP, I was having queasiness and tiredness that put me in bed 3 hours earlier than normal. Since then I have the gamut (nausea/queasy, food aversions, super sniffer, bad skin, greasy hair, BBs big & sore, cramping and backache). Mentally I feel very confident in this pregnancy... hopefully that's a good sign.

Best of luck to all of you!

 

[Barnabibear]

Pippi - Good luck. My clinic will only put 2 back. 3 gives you more chance and its looking really positive right now.

Mistty -Hope you feel more reassured about induction now.

Pussycat -I will be 43 in April, but reading Mistty being 44, it gives me hope. Thanks Mistty :wink:

Butterfly - Im pretty sure early induction is standard for us er-hum older ladies. I hope you get the option.

Garfie - I've been where you are now and my dh still says it. He's given us a time line. I have 1 more year. It doesn't help with him in another country though, its not like we get a go each month. Every pregnant woman at work I wonder why cant that be me, look how happy and carefree they are. I will never have that, even if I get pregnant again, I won't be able to relax and enjoy it like them. Big hugs.

Sweetster - welcome. There's some really lovely people on here, and although I don't any of them personally, I consider them my friends and confidantes. I can share everything with these wonderful ladies, we laugh and cry together.

AFM Ive been waiting for 2 weeks for my review appointment with the clinic. I rang today and I'd been forgotten!!!! I have an appointment now, 5th Feb, seems so far away but I guess it gives me some time to get ready, and save some money. Really hoping the next time will be the one. To keep my sanity, and to reclaim the person I was. And, to top it all I ovulated 1 day late meaning dh will be going back when my window of a natural opportunity opens up, Sucks!!!

 

[Pippi_elk]

Yes I agree Barnibear, that Misty gives us all some hope...

Terrible Barnibear that they forgot about you, good that you started to chase them up. You won't feel 5th February coming around once Xmas is over. Sucks that your dh will be away when you are ovulating next month...but they say sperm can survive for 5 days so get in some action in just before he leaves!

No symptoms of anything much for me, boobs are bigger and a bit tender when I lie on them but that's from all the medication. Also got a cold sore which I got the last time I had my natural bfp but I got it the day after I did a boost of HCG so probably all the wacko hormones after the ivf triggered it. Trying not to think about the outcome too much but its difficult especially as I have been off work for the past few days.

Got the promotion i went for in work so I can focus on that if's its a BFN...or I can try and convince myself to focus on it...a poor consolation prize.
Spend 5 hrs with dh in A&E yesterday, he hit his head on a shelf in office when he was working from home. Lots of blood but I know from the past that head injuries pump blood. He was panicking and telling me to ring an ambulance..but I stuck a towel around his head and I drove him there. It had stopped bleeding by the time we got there but he still needed staples.
But not what I want when trying to have a calm 2 ww.

 

[Butterfly67]

Congrats on the promotion Pippi, hope it doesn't have to be a consolation prize

And to Dh cutting his head and getting it stapled up!

 

[Pippi_elk]

Thanks butterfly.

I'll forgive dh, he feels so stupid...

Garfie, kinda though of you when I read this...just browsing fertiltity links and new research that's being done.
https://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-08-recurrent-miscarriages-due-super-fertility.html

 

[garfie]

Pippi - congrats hun on getting your promotion - well done

Sorry DH has hurt his head - did you have to give him lots of TLC or was he a brave soldier

Thanks for the article - I am an over achiever not a loser - hey this could be my new mantra

AFM - Please ladies stalk my chart - I'm so confused never ever had a chart like this before - oh my I think I have had just about every other though so I tested with an IC cheapy this morning negative - but tomorrow according to FF I will be 18DPO

How are all our pregnant ladies doing - getting excited for Christmas I hope enjoy because next years will be so different



X

 

[Butterfly67]

Hmm Garfie I wonder if you O'd on cd14 or 16 if you got a bfn

 

[Mistyy]

Ooooh Garfie! those temps seem bouyant! Will you test again tomorrow?? xxx

Barnie - Bloody hell you got forgotten! I tell you what Barnie, you and me must have the same ... i don't know ... aura or something, 'cos i get overlooked, 'dropped through the net', 'lost in the system', or just plain old forgotten about too! Not just fertility/preg stuff, it's been going on for years. These days anytime i make an important appt. with anyone about anything or i get told 'a letter will be coming', i tend to ring up and confirm it before the appointed time comes. And low and behold so often i get a cheerful: ''ooh it's a good job you rang ... ''

Pippi - oh my lord your poor hubby! He is 'in the wars' this year. I had to smile at you not ringing an ambulance and bunging a towel round his head. At least it wasn't any nearer xmas week. Well done about your promotion That's fab! Hopefully it will be the start of a run of good news Keep us posted please

AFM - well i'm glad i give everyone hope! I thought you all knew how ancient i was We have been ttc for 4 years, (with just the one BFP and MC in the middle) so i was 40 or just 41 when we started. And i/we were so 'take it or leave it' about a BFP when we began .... But so easily it becomes your life's work to get pregnant huh?

MW came yesterday. All good. Urine infection cleared up. I feel a bit better still about induction now. She said as i've had babies before they will only do one step at a time, give me plenty of time, and let/hope my body kicks into full labor without too much intervention. (ie: drip and breaking waters) MW said i will be given my appt. when i go in on the 6th. (if they remember me ay Barnie )

 

[Butterfly67]

Yes I have to admit I didn't realise you were that ancient Mistyy

Yay for a gentle induction, like you say if they remember you

 

[Pippi_elk]

Garfie, not sure whats going on with your chart. I'd like to be able to look back at a few more of your charts to see what your usual charts are like.
Try testing in a few more days if no AF arrives. ...or try a different brand.
What I don't like is the temps seems to have dropped over the last few days, not sure if that means anything though...

Glad you got the all clear Misty from the mw and good that they won't break waters etc and will let your body try naturally progress. Definitely progress from how you felt 1-2 weeks ago.
So on the 6th jan, you'll find out when you go in for induction !!! Makes it all seem so real...

Thanks for the congrats girls on the promotion, not so sure how I'll like/find the work but sure have to give it a go and hope my RSI does n't flare up as I have to increase my hours...but just need to tell myself to slow down a bit and it's not the end of the world if I don't get everything done or all the emails I want sent.

 

[Pippi_elk]

Sorry to see AF arrived Garfie


I'm Feeling very nervous now, felt noting much today, more cramps this evening and feel AF is imminent. Tomorrow is my af due day so hope u get thorough it ok.
If af does not arrive, I'm not going to do a HPT early or on official test day (Xmas day). I don't want to get a bfn on Xmas day. I'll see if I can hold off testing until the clinic ring with results on Friday.

I'm off to my parents tomorrow for Xmas and hence no internet, maybe I'll get online with mobile but roaming makes it expensive...or I'll try post when I get to my sisters house.

Sorry in a hurry here so no time for more personals.

Everyone have a great Xmas. Roll on 2014 and bfps and babies.....

 

[Mistyy]

Garfie - I'm so sorry lovely. Onwards and upwards xxxxxxxxx

Pippi - You wont get this message till after crimbo now then ... But best wishes for xmas, and keeping everything crossed for you Yes on the 6th they will tell me my induction date. Eek.

Butterfly, Barnie, Pussycat, Maddy, and all you lurkers - :wave:

AFM - not much to report. I'm going to be home all xmas apart from Friday (DHs family in London) so i'll be around right through probably. Very low key xmas here. Just DH, girls and mum here for dinner - then a slob fest on Boxing Day as girls will be at their dads and mum is content at home that day. Nice though. Peaceful day for DH and i, with the cold meat and bubble and squeak dinner, and all the left over chocies and puddings!

 

[Butterfly67]

Garfie

Pippi will be thinking about you and have everything crossed xx

Mistyy have a lovely Xmas. Feels like mine is already done as I did a big xmas dinner yesterday been doing lots of leftover cooking today