TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Pippi_elk]

Still thinking of you Barnie....hope you doing ok.

Thanks girls for the congrats.

Yes butterfly you can find out the sex from harmony..you have to tick a box saying you want to know. Not sure if I'd want to know...the element of surprise would be nice. You found out the gender did n't you ?

Don't know if I'd class myself as a fit misty ! I really have poor core muscles and think they all went to pot after my pain condition developed...
Stopped exercising as much as I used to and I think its been a slow decline since.
But I'm not overweight and eat well so doing the best I can. I spend probably 1-2 years doing physio exercises to improve my core but noticed no improvement in back fatigue that I get.... so just gave us as doing the exercises as it was turning into a real chore.

Yes I'm terrified of the 20wk scan...thanks for the offer of handholding ! Its funny how people view it. My dh told his sister (who had kids when she was in early 20s) the date of the scan.....She just said its great, you'll love it ...you get to see face etc.
To me its this huge hurdle of dread with potential devastating news.

Yes I remember the induction scenario...they said to me they don't let us older women go past full term. ...must read back on what the experts said to you as know you got conflicting advice..
The doctor seemed surprised that I had used my own eggs when I had ivf. I guess they get lots of donor eggs...which would ease the worry of potential chromosomal abnormalities a bit probably. My risks are those of a 43 year old as my egg was from last year...but not a big difference.

 

[Butterfly67]

Yes I found out the gender, just wanted to know what I was in for and be able to plan! Also boys names are really hard to come up with

 

[Mistyy]

Butterfly it's funny isn't it, about names. After we had our 12 week all clear we felt able to start to 'believe' in the pregnancy. On the drive home from London we umm'd and ahh'd about names and came up with a boys name straight away! No girls name for aaages. It was Leo Way after the 'gender' scan even at 20 weeks. We ended up like: 'right she's coming in 8 weeks we really need to come up with a name, lol.

Pippi - oh i wouldn't class myself as exactly 'fit' either! I couldn't run a mile! I meant fit as in no major health probs, good nutrition, not smoking, no drinking (to excess), drugs, normal weight, able to cope with the rigors of pregnancy basically.

The difference in attitude to these scans, depending on your circs. (age!), is huge. When i had my older 3 in my 20s i honestly saw the scans as mainly a great chance to have a peep at baby. I was relieved to hear baby had all it's limbs and a strong heart beat of course but i don't remember worrying about much else! Big change in your 40s!! Yes it turns into a bloody tortuous ordeal. The run up to it - ''what if ... .....'', then the scan itself ''... being strong, preparing for the worst'', and then the euphoria of good news lasts about 2 days before you start googling ''bad things that can be picked up ...'' at the next darn scan. Exhausting.

<holds hand>

xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Lol, misty...I like your definition of fit ..I don't think i could run a mile either but then I always hated jogging....all that boring pavement pounding! Typical Misty that you had a boys name and then a girl comes along and you struggle for a name (but you picked a good name in the end) and that you struggled Butterfly for a boys name !

Never though about being worried after the 20 wk scan if news was good....I think you can just deal with the immediate hurdle and I can't see past that at the minute. But so agree with you about the sense of relief after all the worry...

Decided to put yourselves through some more stress and going for nucal fold testing on Thursday. Still not sure if we'd have been better to live in a bubble of ignorance for longer but if we want to do nucal fold we have a short window of opportunity.
We'll skip the harmony (unless results come back very bad on Thursday) as I don't think I could handle the 2 week wait and getting the news over the phone. We are heading to my family at the weekend (for my dad's 80th birthday) so really hope the news is ok as don't want to be miserable and worried the whole time...


Barnie...hope things are ok.
Max, how's the treatment going....you mist have started by now...

Hope everyone else is doing ok

 

[Butterfly67]

Good luck on Thursday pippi although I'm sure you won't need it and can have fun at you dad's party

 

[maxxiandniko]

Lol, misty...I like your definition of fit ..I don't think i could run a mile either but then I always hated jogging....all that boring pavement pounding! Typical Misty that you had a boys name and then a girl comes along and you struggle for a name (but you picked a good name in the end) and that you struggled Butterfly for a boys name !

Never though about being worried after the 20 wk scan if news was good....I think you can just deal with the immediate hurdle and I can't see past that at the minute. But so agree with you about the sense of relief after all the worry...

Decided to put yourselves through some more stress and going for nucal fold testing on Thursday. Still not sure if we'd have been better to live in a bubble of ignorance for longer but if we want to do nucal fold we have a short window of opportunity.
We'll skip the harmony (unless results come back very bad on Thursday) as I don't think I could handle the 2 week wait and getting the news over the phone. We are heading to my family at the weekend (for my dad's 80th birthday) so really hope the news is ok as don't want to be miserable and worried the whole time...


Barnie...hope things are ok.
Max, how's the treatment going....you mist have started by now...

Hope everyone else is doing ok

All will be fine I'm sure. My cycle blew apart. First I had only 3 follicles they liked at the Day 6 sono. On Day 8 that number went down to 2 and I was told to prepare for an IUI this weekend. Then I get an email later that day telling me that I'm in the 1-1.5% of women who ovulate on Lupron. So I stopped all my meds Monday and waited for instructions. Was told yesterday that this cycle is salvageable so I stay off meds now and on Tuesday I will start a different Lupron shot, call in with the 1st day of my bleed, go for a baseline on day 2 and restart all these meds to try again.

 

[Mistyy]

Bloody hell Maxi - i barely understood all that but the very very best of luck to you Let us know how you go.

Pippi - thinking of you tomorrow Sure all will be fine You'll be in my thoughts. Have a good wkend with your family; we're off down to London to Jim's parents on Sat for the day. First time Sammy will be crawling at a big family do. Older kids running wild. Eeek. I imagine either me or Jim will explode with the stress of following her round and keeping her safe at some point!

Love to all xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Hope next attempt goes well Maxi. Are you doing Ivf that they were going to convert to iui since lower egg numbers ? Your drugs and protocol seem to be quite different to mine.. So are they going to try again next month? Surely if you ovulated they can't salvage that cycle?
Or is there something I am missing...
But the whole process is stressful enough without having things not go as expected...here's hoping your next cycle will be a success.

Good luck this weekend Misty... I'm sure Sammy will have a ball though despite you and dh being nervous wrecks.

We had our private nuchal translucency scan today. It was measuring 1.9 mm and anything below 2.4mm is good. Phew... For now. Getting blood results next week.. Hope they also are good as otherwise will increase the risk again. Of course managed to find stories online where scan measurements are good but bloods are not!! Anything to torture myself ...but so far just please today went as well as could be hoped for.
My risk was 1 in 30 (based on age alone) but after scan its now 1 in 130 for Downs. Tri 13 & 18 risks are much lower. My risks are Still high compared to younger women but big improvement for me.
Baby was so active...it was constantly kicking. Really does nt feel its 'inside me' ...feels more I am looking at a video....until I laughed and then the image went all fuzzy on the screen!

Probably won't be on here much over the next few days but happy Halloween to everyone.

 

[Butterfly67]

Great news pippi, glad all was ok

Sorry your cycle was messed up maxi, hope you can get things restarted

Have fun Mistyy!

 

[Mistyy]

Oh great news Pippi yes waiting for the bloods is more torture. And the dreaded risk factor. I got my final results via a phone call while in Sainsburys car park! My heart was in my mouth. She said i've got the results here - do you want them now? I thought oh god - it's bad news then. And i'm alone in a car park. I felt so sick. But all was fine! Sure all will be well for you. Have good weekend

Thank you Butterfly :wave:

Barnie - thinking of you lovely xxx

Love to all x

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hope next attempt goes well Maxi. Are you doing Ivf that they were going to convert to iui since lower egg numbers ? Your drugs and protocol seem to be quite different to mine.. So are they going to try again next month? Surely if you ovulated they can't salvage that cycle?
Or is there something I am missing...
But the whole process is stressful enough without having things not go as expected...here's hoping your next cycle will be a success.

Good luck this weekend Misty... I'm sure Sammy will have a ball though despite you and dh being nervous wrecks.

We had our private nuchal translucency scan today. It was measuring 1.9 mm and anything below 2.4mm is good. Phew... For now. Getting blood results next week.. Hope they also are good as otherwise will increase the risk again. Of course managed to find stories online where scan measurements are good but bloods are not!! Anything to torture myself ...but so far just please today went as well as could be hoped for.
My risk was 1 in 30 (based on age alone) but after scan its now 1 in 130 for Downs. Tri 13 & 18 risks are much lower. My risks are Still high compared to younger women but big improvement for me.
Baby was so active...it was constantly kicking. Really does nt feel its 'inside me' ...feels more I am looking at a video....until I laughed and then the image went all fuzzy on the screen!

Probably won't be on here much over the next few days but happy Halloween to everyone.

Congrats! They were going to convert to IUI because they didn't expect to get anymore than the 2 follicles they saw. As far as salvaging the cycle all they mean is that I can start right away and not wait for this bleed and another bleed I think.

 

[Pippi_elk]

Understand now max. Hope things going so well for this new cycle...good you could just go ahead with it as delaying another month would push you very close to Christmas.

Told my family the good news ...greeted with lots of surprise as I think most people though we had decided not to have kids.
However on the way back to-day got a call from the consultant about my blood results for downs etc. Screening. After the scan they said my risk was 1 in 92 for downs (looking back on my notes I had posted wrong value here last week) which was a good improvement on my age based risk of 1 in 30. However the blood results have now increased my risk to 1 in 42 for Downs. Tri 18 risk is 1 in 15,000, a bit high he said but he not too concerned about that...so at least that's good news as Tri18 is almost always fatal.

So after living in a happy bubble for the weekend now we are worried and a bit anxious.
He would n't give me the exact numbers that bloods were but said we could go for a harmony blood test to see what that reveals...we won't go for amino as no way will I risk a miscarriage....so harmony is at least non invasive and I think 99% accurate....just have to pay £450. Hoping to get it done tomorrow and then have to wait 2 weeks..

I guess at my age any slight anamoly will really increase risk but I will grill the nurse/midwife for my actual blood results tomorrow ....as a low value of papA can be a sign of potential growth problems, preeclampsia etc.
Not sure how I'll last 2 weeks...and then get another phone call at some random day/time with such significant news.

 

[Mistyy]

Oh hang on in there Pippi. I know it's terrifying. You said ''However the blood results have now increased my risk to 1 in 42'', so do you know what exactly has pushed this up? Or is that what you're going to grill the MW on?

My risks based just on age and history at the start of preg. were horrendous - 1:15 i think They dropped to 1:30 after the scan in London, and dropped a little more again after bloods here at the hos. They ended up at 1:50 something i think. They never got into 3 figures. We were so elated with that final figure (having started out at 1:15) and i can remember seeing peoples faces, when we told them joyfully about the final risk figure, trying hard to look positive for us. But these were folk with 1:1000,000,000 risks. (exagerating there, but you know what i mean).

What i'm trying to get to is: Don't Fret. I know it's hard, but 1:42 is still a very very remote chance. It's a question of perspective. I don't blame you about the Amnio. by the way. We were the same.

Chill :friend:
Is it Harmony test today then? How did it go? (they take lots of blood!)
<hand holds for these 2 weeks>

xxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Thanks Misty. They measure hcg and a protein growth factor called papp a. High hcg and low pappa are associated with downs. The closer the bloods are too a median value of 1 the better. The midwife today couldn't interpret the numbers for me...I got absolute numbers but no idea of if its grams/moles/units etc and no idea of how close/far away they are to the standard median of 1. Ironically in early pregnancy you want decent hcg values and now I want lower values.
Seems I have to wait for them to post me the details...and even then I'm not confident they tell me the numbers. You'd think when you are going private they'd have all results there for me this morning.

Was your risk 1in 15 initially? I can imagine you were pleased when after every test it improved slightly. My age/background risk was 1 in 25 and nows its 1 in 42 so I should be pleased....its just hard to be told last week it was nearly 1 in 100 and for it to drop...
Midwife said bloods are more definitive that the scan so can't relax and say oh well the scan was good.
I guess I'm not a glass half full kind of girl !

The harmony test takes 14 working days and the lab probably won't receive it till early next week....she said she has never know it to come back early. And if they have to use the 2nd sample they took today then it's a bit longer again...so we are looking at no results until December. I asked them to post results to me rather than a phone call...don't want to get bad news in an inappropriate place. I hinted that if results are good then they can phone but can't see them remembering that.
Yes lots of blood but I have good veins ....

We declined the sex determination....couldn't really decide but she said it depends on if you Are the kind of person that open their presents before Xmas morning or waits !

 

[maxxiandniko]

Thanks Misty. They measure hcg and a protein growth factor called papp a. High hcg and low pappa are associated with downs. The closer the bloods are too a median value of 1 the better. The midwife today couldn't interpret the numbers for me...I got absolute numbers but no idea of if its grams/moles/units etc and no idea of how close/far away they are to the standard median of 1. Ironically in early pregnancy you want decent hcg values and now I want lower values.
Seems I have to wait for them to post me the details...and even then I'm not confident they tell me the numbers. You'd think when you are going private they'd have all results there for me this morning.

Was your risk 1in 15 initially? I can imagine you were pleased when after every test it improved slightly. My age/background risk was 1 in 25 and nows its 1 in 42 so I should be pleased....its just hard to be told last week it was nearly 1 in 100 and for it to drop...
Midwife said bloods are more definitive that the scan so can't relax and say oh well the scan was good.
I guess I'm not a glass half full kind of girl !

The harmony test takes 14 working days and the lab probably won't receive it till early next week....she said she has never know it to come back early. And if they have to use the 2nd sample they took today then it's a bit longer again...so we are looking at no results until December. I asked them to post results to me rather than a phone call...don't want to get bad news in an inappropriate place. I hinted that if results are good then they can phone but can't see them remembering that.
Yes lots of blood but I have good veins ....

We declined the sex determination....couldn't really decide but she said it depends on if you Are the kind of person that open their presents before Xmas morning or waits !

Not thinking to change your mind but just to give you info - amnios are very safe if done at a facility and by a doc who's experienced. At least that's the way it is here in the US. I had amnios done on both twins, 2 docs were involved ( my ob and my high risk doc) and both have done them routinely. Any miscarriage that occurs within 2 weeks of an amnio is attributed to the amnio but there's question there as to if that miscarriage would have occurred on it's own and had nothing to do with the amnio. But again that's here in the states and in NY so I can't speak for anywhere else. And misty is right. Those risk numbers plummet with age alone. I forgot what my numbers were but they sucked. My NT was fine but the blood tests they do don't work for twins and I was going for the amnio anyway. The harmony wasn't available yet (I was actually part of the study used in the final determination of the usefulness of the test). I just know you'll be fine.

 

[Mistyy]

Hmmm, not surprised to hear the MW couldn't or wouldn't say much about your bloods/risk etc. I found it a struggle to get anyone to talk to me in depth about it. Always the head tilt and 'your aaaaaaaaage etc etc etc' though. It was as if you showed any real deep interest they began to worry you were going to quote them/blame them at a later date. It's sad because you just crave info when you're in that situation, i know.

(The funny thing was the rest of the time any mention of my age was poo poo'd! ''Good grief woman you're not old, etc' )

I remember the 2 week wait for harmony (it's all 2 week waits this pregnancy lark!) It's like living in limbo. Horrid. ((hugs)) Taking 2 blood samples at the first visit is a good idea. I had to trail all the way back to central London give my 2nd sample when the first failed. Good idea too to have the postal news rather than the phone call. I just hope it all goes along quickly for you Pippi. Everything will be fine

xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Pippi I will be optimistic for you as I think they always paint a bit of a bleak picture with age but like Mistyy said there is a great chance that everything will be ok
Hoping the time goes quickly for you xx

 

[Pippi_elk]

yes max,i have read that amino mc rates depends on the doctor but not sure id be able to find one locally with 0% rates and not sure how easy it to find out that information either. The harmony test should be almost as accurate...
And amino can't be preformed till I think around 15 weeks so would have to wait anyway...
How's your treatment going, hope things are going better than last cycle.

Yes Misty...its frustrating when the mw dodge your questions. She was much interested in was I sleeping, peeing much in middle of night etc. Felt like saying I might sleep better if you could answer my questions !
still think when she was the only staff on there when I turned up after my nucal bloods she should have made herself more informed. After all I paid £255 for scan and bloods and almost one week later have n't got the risk print out from them with more details and no Idea of how skewed my bloods were.

Not sure when the harmony bloods will ever be even sent to States...blood taken on wed, posted to clinic in london to arrive thur. Then the London clinic have to invoice me (by post !!!) and I have to pay it before they send it to lab in States. So it already feel a long process to get the blood to lab..and then the subsequent almost 3 week wait. So I have to endure 2x 2 weeks waits!
Thanks for the offer of handholding...I'll probably be ringing the clinic every few days at the end to see if results have come in.
There was another lady on another forum who is 1 year younger than me, her risk after scan was 1 in 143, after bloods it went to 1 in 2800. Can't help but wish it was me with that good news. Think she was meaning to be supportive to me but its made me more anxious again now....

How did your weekend with the family go? Was Sammy into everything as you suspected ?

I'll try and believe your optimism Butterfly but its hard when you are in the middle of it.

 

[maxxiandniko]

yes max,i have read that amino mc rates depends on the doctor but not sure id be able to find one locally with 0% rates and not sure how easy it to find out that information either. The harmony test should be almost as accurate...
And amino can't be preformed till I think around 15 weeks so would have to wait anyway...
How's your treatment going, hope things are going better than last cycle.

Yes Misty...its frustrating when the mw dodge your questions. She was much interested in was I sleeping, peeing much in middle of night etc. Felt like saying I might sleep better if you could answer my questions !
still think when she was the only staff on there when I turned up after my nucal bloods she should have made herself more informed. After all I paid £255 for scan and bloods and almost one week later have n't got the risk print out from them with more details and no Idea of how skewed my bloods were.

Not sure when the harmony bloods will ever be even sent to States...blood taken on wed, posted to clinic in london to arrive thur. Then the London clinic have to invoice me (by post !!!) and I have to pay it before they send it to lab in States. So it already feel a long process to get the blood to lab..and then the subsequent almost 3 week wait. So I have to endure 2x 2 weeks waits!
Thanks for the offer of handholding...I'll probably be ringing the clinic every few days at the end to see if results have come in.
There was another lady on another forum who is 1 year younger than me, her risk after scan was 1 in 143, after bloods it went to 1 in 2800. Can't help but wish it was me with that good news. Think she was meaning to be supportive to me but its made me more anxious again now....

How did your weekend with the family go? Was Sammy into everything as you suspected ?

I'll try and believe your optimism Butterfly but its hard when you are in the middle of it.

My treatment sucks. I've been on the Lupron almost a week and it looks like it's delaying my period. Since I ovulated I assumed that I would get a period 14 days after but that would have been this weekend and nothing. I'm feeling very down about the whole thing. It's like my body wants to shut down and I won't admit to myself that it's time to let it go.

 

[Maddy40]

Oh Barni xxx I'm so very very sorry hun.

Mistyy what is it with these kids? Mine started crawling forwards (after shuffling backwards for months) a month ago. 5 days after that he started standing up and then within a few days was cruising the furniture. Right now he's starting moving between furniture.... what a freakin whirlwind!

Hi everyone else - am at work so should update more properly later!