TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[Pippi_elk]

Thanks Barnibear for the reassurance of symptoms disappearing....

Understand your sentiment, yes after 6 pregnancies there is only so much heartbreak you can bear. You are strong and brave to have continued trying after the loss of Archie.
Hoping that Tuesdays scan reveals good news and hcg keeps increasing.

 

[Mistyy]

Oh Barnie ... Hospital error? I didn't realise that. If you ever want to speak about it here or talk about your lovely boy then do. Please. It's always ok and we are here to listen. I stopped posting because everyone else did too, lol. I wonder how you are often. Heartbreaking to read your update. I know there's no words to really comfort you or ideas you havn't already had, but i'm sending massive hugs and sending strength for you. I so hope the news is going to be good. HCG going up. It's so so bloody expensive IVF isn't it? We would never have been able to afford it. The emotional roller-coaster must ramp up by about x 1000000 once you've committed so much cash to it too, on top of everything else. I cannot imagine. My 4 years of TTC were spent mostly feeling like a fool for trying. We were so lucky. I'm praying for the same miracle for you. x

Pippi - oh i'm hanging on every word! Loving hearing about your pregnancy. I know exactly how it feels to not let yourself feel any joy just in case. I look back on my pregnancy and wish i could have spent more time just enjoying it but it's natural to worry. No way round it. Let us know how you get on on Thu. I needed reassurance every 5 mins! It's amazing how they just send you away and let you get on with the gestating!

(p.s: No wuthering heights?!?!?! I'd have been inconsolable )

Maxi - how on earth did you quintuple on BC pills Yes i think i'm more sensitive to everything generally now i'm older too. Can you try a different pill? I really aught to be doing/taking something for BC. But am not. Just don't honestly think it's needed (plus don't want the hassle)

Garfie + butterfly :wave:

AFM - Sammy is trying to stand on her own! I'm very alarmed as we haven't even adjusted to her crawling yet! It all happened so fast. At 6 months she wasn't rolling over and was only just sitting up. 7 weeks later she's whizzing round the house and wanting to walk! We've only got one stair gate in place. Going out tomorrow to buy 3 more, lol. One for bottom of the stairs, one for the kitchen (oven gets hot to the touch) and one for the downstairs loo. The litter tray and cat food is in there

Love and hugs all round xxxxx

 

[Barnabibear]

Hi Mistty, Sammy is beautiful! Such a quick transition from nothing to standing. My niece was the same... quick to move to the next step. She wasn't really into crawling... more a leap frog shuffle. Lol. One week she started standing and pushing those walkers you can get, 2 weeks later she was up and about... no stopping her. She is now everywhere! She's really funny, if my sister and I go to the shops she likes to get out of her pram and have a wander around. She giggles all the time, I think its because she has the freedom because she has control of her feet. Lol. It will soon be time for wanting eyes in the back of your head!!!

 

[greens]

Sorry to read your news Barnabibear.
I join the others and hope that your follow up test has a positive outcome for you and your husband.
Wishing you both the best of success with your follow up check.
Hugs and strength.

 

[maxxiandniko]

Oh Barnie ... Hospital error? I didn't realise that. If you ever want to speak about it here or talk about your lovely boy then do. Please. It's always ok and we are here to listen. I stopped posting because everyone else did too, lol. I wonder how you are often. Heartbreaking to read your update. I know there's no words to really comfort you or ideas you havn't already had, but i'm sending massive hugs and sending strength for you. I so hope the news is going to be good. HCG going up. It's so so bloody expensive IVF isn't it? We would never have been able to afford it. The emotional roller-coaster must ramp up by about x 1000000 once you've committed so much cash to it too, on top of everything else. I cannot imagine. My 4 years of TTC were spent mostly feeling like a fool for trying. We were so lucky. I'm praying for the same miracle for you. x

Pippi - oh i'm hanging on every word! Loving hearing about your pregnancy. I know exactly how it feels to not let yourself feel any joy just in case. I look back on my pregnancy and wish i could have spent more time just enjoying it but it's natural to worry. No way round it. Let us know how you get on on Thu. I needed reassurance every 5 mins! It's amazing how they just send you away and let you get on with the gestating!

(p.s: No wuthering heights?!?!?! I'd have been inconsolable )

Maxi - how on earth did you quintuple on BC pills Yes i think i'm more sensitive to everything generally now i'm older too. Can you try a different pill? I really aught to be doing/taking something for BC. But am not. Just don't honestly think it's needed (plus don't want the hassle)

Garfie + butterfly :wave:

AFM - Sammy is trying to stand on her own! I'm very alarmed as we haven't even adjusted to her crawling yet! It all happened so fast. At 6 months she wasn't rolling over and was only just sitting up. 7 weeks later she's whizzing round the house and wanting to walk! We've only got one stair gate in place. Going out tomorrow to buy 3 more, lol. One for bottom of the stairs, one for the kitchen (oven gets hot to the touch) and one for the downstairs loo. The litter tray and cat food is in there

Love and hugs all round xxxxx

It was rather dumb of me ha ha. I was 25 I think and took all 5 and projectiled vomited in front of my boyfriend.

 

[maxxiandniko]

So sorry to hear Barbear that's so sad and terrible for you. I am sure that after they found issues that they could treat and then when you get a bfp you get to see some hope only for it to be cruelly taken away.
I don't think HCG has to double in 48hr to be ok values...did you put the levels into some of those hcg calculators which will tell you whether you are in normal range...
Its a small bit of hope that hcg is increasing....but its a tough wait till next Tuesday.
Did you have any embryos left after your donor cycle?
Is it financial that you can't go again? I guess it can take more than one shot to get the outcome you desire ...and now that you have started medication its a shame not to be able to try again. But you have enough on you plate at the minute and just need to get through this difficult time.
Keep posting here, I know its been very quite for a few months but keep us updated on things and get some support from the ladies on here.


Good luck for after the 16th max. Strange that birth control affects you so much now...are you on a slightly different pill than before ?
Keep us posted on how things go...

max, I would n't say I'm in heaven knowing there is a little one in there ! Wish I could say that. Mostly just terrified that something will go wrong.
I'm afraid this good news will be taken from us too and like Barnibear said earlier would prefer to have never got the BFP if that's the case. We had kinda accepted our childlessness and now this will put us back at square one if things go wrong.
My symptoms have really decreased this last few days which does not help my anxiety. I've read somewhere that around 10 weeks they can diminish but I can't help but think the worst. When we saw HB at 7.5 weeks they said risks of a mc are now low I can't help but feel I could still be one of that unfortunate cases. We have a NHS hospital appointment on Thursday so hopefully they will do a scan and let me find out if all is ok. Its amazing how you need reassurance just after 2 weeks....

Yes I know. With my twins I panicked till I saw the heartbeats, panicked till 12 weeks, panicked till the amnios, panicked till the amnio results, panicked till the 20 week scan and then relaxed and enjoyed myself for about 1 week till my cervix started shortening and all hell broke loose and I had them at 28 weeks. So I know. But on a positive note I had no symptoms with my twins early on and every symptom every cycle for the last 1 1/2 years and I haven't been pregnant. In fact I feel pregnant right now and I'm on birth control ha ha.

 

[Pippi_elk]

Yes, max .. Its terrible, wish I could just live in the moment. I can imagine double the worry with twins. I must look up about this cervix shortening....see some private clinics offer it so must see if I need it....and must see if I need to worry about it
Lol to feeling pregnant now and being on birth control..

She's starting to walk early is she Misty? ...I think my niece and nephew were nearly a year before they tried to walk. Just need to ensure cat can get through the stair gate....in case it does its business elsewhere

Thinking of you today Barni...hope the scan went ok.

 

[Barnabibear]

Hi,

My scan today confirmed that it was an empty sac. So taking some tablets tonight to bring on the miscarriage. So, thats us done with ttc. Its a bitter pill to swallow, the last 3 years of hope then heartache, then hope again have ended in heartache. I wish it was different, and we'd had our happy ending but it would seem that its not to be. Desperately sad right now.

Hope all goes well for you on Thurs Pippi, im sure you'll get all the reassurance you'll need to see you through to the 12 week mark, when hopefully you can start enjoying your pregnancy. Xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Sending huge hugs to you Barni, I'm so sorry

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hi,

My scan today confirmed that it was an empty sac. So taking some tablets tonight to bring on the miscarriage. So, thats us done with ttc. Its a bitter pill to swallow, the last 3 years of hope then heartache, then hope again have ended in heartache. I wish it was different, and we'd had our happy ending but it would seem that its not to be. Desperately sad right now.

Hope all goes well for you on Thurs Pippi, im sure you'll get all the reassurance you'll need to see you through to the 12 week mark, when hopefully you can start enjoying your pregnancy. Xxx

I'm so sorry. I've been there 4 times. I hope that somehow this isn't the end of the road for you.

 

[maxxiandniko]

Yes, max .. Its terrible, wish I could just live in the moment. I can imagine double the worry with twins. I must look up about this cervix shortening....see some private clinics offer it so must see if I need it....and must see if I need to worry about it
Lol to feeling pregnant now and being on birth control..

She's starting to walk early is she Misty? ...I think my niece and nephew were nearly a year before they tried to walk. Just need to ensure cat can get through the stair gate....in case it does its business elsewhere

Thinking of you today Barni...hope the scan went ok.

Don't worry about your cervix! With twins everything is a whole different story including having cervical shortening.

 

[garfie]

Barni - I am so sorry Hun MASSIVE





X

 

[Pippi_elk]

So sorry to hear Barnie, don't know what to say but just so sorry.
Keep posting here if you are up to it...if it helps you and you find it supportive.

Thanks max...will cross that off my list!

 

[Mistyy]

Barnie i am so dreadfully sorry. I was so hoping to hear a different outcome for you. Heart felt virtual hugs my lovely.

As pippi says please stay if you can xxxxxx

 

[Mistyy]

Pippi - it feels early lol. My eldest, Alice (21 now!), never crawled much and was walking at about 11 months i think. But she was a small baby, like Sammy. My 2nd, Chloe, was a heavy baby (9lb 13oz eek) and she 'bum shuffled' and didn't walk till she was about 16 months. No.3, Daisy, was smallish and walked by the time she was one. Sammy was little as you know and is whizzing about just fine on all fours ... so she might settle for that for a while, fingers crossed!

Yes, the baby gate which we have our eye on for the downstairs loo has a cat flap in it. What a great idea! You can buy them on amazon (or we might buy a normal one at half the price and DH can cut a hole in it).

Your appt. is today isn't it? Let us know how you get on. I'm sure you'll be fine. Don't be disappointed if it feels a bit 'conveyer belt' like at NHS anti-natal appointments. I found that if you really need support over specific worries you have to make it known quite clearly, otherwise it's a bit of a case of get you in quick and out quick (understandable i know given the lack of funds) and before you know it you're back out in the car park with the same worries you went in with

:wave: @ garfie, maxi, butterfly and all fellow lurkers xxxx

 

[Pippi_elk]

Hope you doing ok Barnie and that the treatment isn't too physically painful.

Lol, Misty, stair gates with cat flaps !!! They think of everything !!

Seems like Sam is following the pattern of your 'smaller' babies...its funny is nt it? Guess the heavier ones require more effort to get mobile.

My scan went well today. Thankfully
All went well today thankfully....feteus measuring a few days ahead at 11w. Could make out arms and legs this time ! We were there 3.5 hours in total...so glad to get home as it was a long afternoon. Booked in for anomaly scan on Friday before Christmas eek, eek
It all seems so surreal really...realise how lucky we are. No one went on too much about my age either...
Yes it was a bit like a convert belt as you said Misty. A lot of box ticking to say that they told you this bit of information. But think I got to ask all the questions I needed. They don't nucal fold testing here in Northern Ireland (due to the anti abortion laws) so consultant recommended harmony test if we were going to do any private testing.
I'm not going to get amini etc done as could not live with myself if induced a mc.
We won't action anything on results anyway but would like to know our risks and be a little prepared if risks come out high. Although I know the big problem you had Misty with Harmony...

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hope you doing ok Barnie and that the treatment isn't too physically painful.

Lol, Misty, stair gates with cat flaps !!! They think of everything !!

Seems like Sam is following the pattern of your 'smaller' babies...its funny is nt it? Guess the heavier ones require more effort to get mobile.

My scan went well today. Thankfully
All went well today thankfully....feteus measuring a few days ahead at 11w. Could make out arms and legs this time ! We were there 3.5 hours in total...so glad to get home as it was a long afternoon. Booked in for anomaly scan on Friday before Christmas eek, eek
It all seems so surreal really...realise how lucky we are. No one went on too much about my age either...
Yes it was a bit like a convert belt as you said Misty. A lot of box ticking to say that they told you this bit of information. But think I got to ask all the questions I needed. They don't nucal fold testing here in Northern Ireland (due to the anti abortion laws) so consultant recommended harmony test if we were going to do any private testing.
I'm not going to get amini etc done as could not live with myself if induced a mc.
We won't action anything on results anyway but would like to know our risks and be a little prepared if risks come out high. Although I know the big problem you had Misty with Harmony...

Congrats!

 

[Mistyy]

How are you doing Barnie? x Thinking of you, lovely.

So glad it was all positive yesterday pippi No they didn't mention my age much at all throughout the pregnancy (until the end and they hit me with the bloody induction thing, if you remember). My midwife ha a lady on her books at the same time as me who was in her early 50s. So i felt like a young thing in comparison! She said to me more than once that a healthy mid 40s lady is less likely to have complications than an unfit 20 something. So there we go.

Preparing to hand hold for the 12 week scan That is nerve wracking i wont lie.

Yes i had trouble with the Harmony test (failed twice) but ... with hindsight it is possible that i was carrying a twin that never grew, (that massive bleed at 15 weeks?) and apparently Harmony doesn't work with multiple fetus' DNA. (or something). It was so worth it anyway though, as the scan they performed was so detailed, much more detailed than the NHS one, and the follow up care was brill.

Love to all xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Brilliant news Pippi I guess they just go to 20 week scan then if they don't do NT. I can see their point but yes is good to be prepared for any possible outcome so Harmony sounds like a good plan. I think you can find out the gender from harmony can't you?

Barni, massive hugs coming your way

Hugs to you too Garfie

 

[greens]

Heartfelt hug to Barni. Be kind to yourselves.