ttc after a d&c

[aaronswoman79]

I was just telling me husband the same thing. I want to wait till I get through the 1st trimester to see a doctor. I get extreme anxiety before doctors appointments to the point that my blood pressure goes up. And all of this because I am scared of hearing bad news. I myself will just treat my next pregnancy with medical bed rest. That will be extremely hard with my 6 year old who suffers from adhd and bipolar.

 

[aaronswoman79]

I think we know that it wasn't our fault but I think the reason why people blame themselves is so that they feel like they have a measure of control over the next pregnancy. I think that is why I blame myself

the only thing that niggles me is when my spotting stopped i went back to work for one day and i had bleeding that day but i know from my d and e that my baby was gone already at this stage but it still niggles me.
i did everything i was told and more to help me keep my baby and it didnt work so i know it isnt my fault just like its not any of ur faults xxxxxxxx

I still blame myself in a lot of ways. I got off of bed rest. The doctors were never strict about bed rest and told me only to go on bed rest onlywhen I bled. So from week 15 to 18 I started cooking a lot of home cooked meals and being on my feet more. I did get slight cramping but I was told they were just my muscles. Well it turns out that when i had the miscarriage, the first thing I noticed was that my baby boy was only about the size of a 15 to 16 week pregnancy. He was only 3.5 ounces and 5.5 inches. We named him Jeremiah Alexander. At times I actually feel like its my fault I lost him, because if I wouldn't have been on my feet for those few weeks, maybe he would have kept growing. But you are right it really isn't any of our faults. I am just pissed that I had a blood clot from the beginning of my pregnancy that they just decided not to monitor anymore. I would ask them during the ultrasound and they would say we are not looking for the blood clot, we are looking at the baby. Well guess what, that damn blood clot never healed and kept growing, until I lost the clot, went into emergency and miscarried in front of everyone!

 

[Storked]

I understand aaronswoman. I understand completely. I am not sure that I will ever feel the same that I used to about visiting the doctor
We can both rest together

 

[Storked]

Are you taking blood thinners aaronswoman?

 

[aaronswoman79]

I had bad nausea but only threw up for a week or so.. heartburn is what killed me and I was popping tums like crazy. Thought at one point that was the cause but everyone assured me tums was ok... its so hard. How to crackheads have healthy babies and us good mommies struggle?

Yes why must we struggle?!
I didn't pop tuns but I did pop gas X like crazy :-/

Or how about the people who have a perfect pregnancy, yet complain about all of their normal symptoms when we are willing and happy to go through those symptoms again just to have out babies! I will never take for granted a healthy pregnancy again. And mines were never even very healthy. The first child I had preeclampsia. The second had to be induced, and I was given pitocin for 25 hours straight, which caused tectonic contractions. I would still go through this again just for my healthy baby. It is all worth it.

 

[aaronswoman79]

Are you taking blood thinners aaronswoman?

I am not, but I was on baby aspirin because of my past with preeclampsia, but I am started to wonder if baby aspirin might have had something to do with the hemorrhage not healing. But then again, I had no idea that it never healed, because all the nurses and doctors told me, "don't worry about the hemorrhage, the baby is fine." well guess what happened right before the miscarriage, I lost a massive hemorrhage at home. The one thing that stayed in my mind throughout the whole pregnancy was that hematoma, and I believe it played a huge role in my miscarriage. I just got the pathology results and they couldn't tell me anything because they could not harvest enough live cells. So now they are doing the autopsy. I don't know what in the world happened. First I am told that my baby is completely healthy. He was growing prefect to the day, he always measured the exact size he was suppose to, his heart was strong and healthy. They did a very detailed ultrasound and alpha protein test and he had a 1 in 100,000 chance of trisomy 18, then I do the last blood test 3 weeks later, and they say he had a 1 in 8 chance, but then they go and tell me, he quite possibly was healthy and he probably didn't have trisomy 18, that my test results just came out extremely abnormal because the baby was already dying when I took the last blood test. What really kills me and makes me sad is that when I was up and around doing things instead of being on bed rest, he was slowing dying. That kills me. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently.

 

[Storked]

If you had a clot it should have helped it I am surprised they didn't give you something more for the clot
You are SO right about how it is all worth it. I will never complain about pregnancy symptoms ever ever again. I just want a healthy baby

 

[jen435]

I am so scared to even take baby asprin again. The childerns hospital literally yelled at me for me taking it to help me concieve and then after. I told them my family doctor.said.it was okay.as.ppl use it for fertility and when umibical cord.is too thin to help with blood flow. Little did i know.about the risks of heart developement problems it.could cause i learned alot in philadelphia at chop and i felt aweful after my visit. The first 28 days after conception is when heart forms so ill.definately.wait til after if doctor tells me to take it again.

Hugs to everyone. Arronswife please dont blame urself it was beyond your control. You will have a baby soon and u will always love your son. Then had to induce me soon and when i went into labor it was the sadest.thing to know that my son was going to die. Oct 15 is just around the corner..... Really hoping to fall pregnant before then.

Im so tired and just rambling. Going to reread everyones posts and repost tom!

 

[jen435]

Did they allow you to bury your son? I was only allowes to.cremate him.and put.his ashes in the memorial.garden near the hospital.where i had him. They.never told me his weight or length i never even thought to ask. Dh and i are making a stone ingraved with his name and date we lost him to put in our garden near our front door. I have a butterfly bush.there and i think its the best way to remember him.

 

[aaronswoman79]

If you had a clot it should have helped it I am surprised they didn't give you something more for the clot
You are SO right about how it is all worth it. I will never complain about pregnancy symptoms ever ever again. I just want a healthy baby

And that is what I heard, that baby aspirin could help a blood clot, but then somebody told me that her doctor her that aspirin could make the blood clot get bigger, which doesnt make much sense. Im just mad that they didn't moniter that stupid clot, that started out as 1 cm and grew to God knows how large. All I am waiting for is to get my first cycle, (otherwise I would have been trying already), and its time for baby making again! I figure that since I was so far along, I should wait for my body to heal some. I won't be surprised if I don't get pregnant right away because now I want that so badly. And my other 2 pregnancies were not exactly planned, so now that we are planning this one, I have a feeling it will be harder than I expect. No more coffee or caffeine when I am pregnant, so I better have my last few cups! Told by doctors that caffeine can cause miscarriages, so I am not taking my chances.

 

[aaronswoman79]

Did they allow you to bury your son? I was only allowes to.cremate him.and put.his ashes in the memorial.garden near the hospital.where i had him. They.never told me his weight or length i never even thought to ask. Dh and i are making a stone ingraved with his name and date we lost him to put in our garden near our front door. I have a butterfly bush.there and i think its the best way to remember him.

I couldn't bury my son because since I was 18.5 weeks along, my husband and I and also the doctors really wanted to have a pathology done, to know exactly what happened to the baby. And I felt we really needed to know that information, especially for future pregnancies. I wanted to know if my son had a chromosomal abnormality or was their something wrong in my body, placenta etc. I was so far along, I just wanted answers. But now we find out the pathology didn't give any answers, so now they are doing an autopsy and have told us that we can't have his remains because so little of him will be left! So they will just cremate him and if possible they can save us what little ashes are left. I have also struggled with this, maybe I should have just buried him and not have them do anything. But the doctors wanted answers as well as me. So hopefully the autopsy will come back with answers. If not, then I will be really pissed at myself.

 

[lilesMom]

Yay for being clean! Yeah my niggle Laura is that I my baby had stopped growing by the time I started the injections. I had no idea of course and don't really know that my FVL mutation had anything to do with it but it is a worry. My condition carries an increased risk of mis carriage

aw bethany, it more than likely was bad chromsome pairing im told by mr internet, xxxxxxxxx
least u know this time as yucky and all as it is that u have it xxxx
u get any sleep? x

 

[lilesMom]

I was just telling me husband the same thing. I want to wait till I get through the 1st trimester to see a doctor. I get extreme anxiety before doctors appointments to the point that my blood pressure goes up. And all of this because I am scared of hearing bad news. I myself will just treat my next pregnancy with medical bed rest. That will be extremely hard with my 6 year old who suffers from adhd and bipolar.

its really tough, i have already said to myself work can feck off this time, i am getting myself written out sick to rest all the time, its far more nb to have a healthy baby. xxxxxx
some docs say it helps, some say it doesnt, my baby was already gone by the time they told me to rest, they just didnt know it

 

[lilesMom]

I am so scared to even take baby asprin again. The childerns hospital literally yelled at me for me taking it to help me concieve and then after. I told them my family doctor.said.it was okay.as.ppl use it for fertility and when umibical cord.is too thin to help with blood flow. Little did i know.about the risks of heart developement problems it.could cause i learned alot in philadelphia at chop and i felt aweful after my visit. The first 28 days after conception is when heart forms so ill.definately.wait til after if doctor tells me to take it again.

Hugs to everyone. Arronswife please dont blame urself it was beyond your control. You will have a baby soon and u will always love your son. Then had to induce me soon and when i went into labor it was the sadest.thing to know that my son was going to die. Oct 15 is just around the corner..... Really hoping to fall pregnant before then.

Im so tired and just rambling. Going to reread everyones posts and repost tom!

u were only following docs orders jen, how were u supposed to dream up doc was wrong. we tend to believe those with huge degrees and doctorates in medicine about medical matters

 

[lilesMom]

aarons woman, i allowed testing too so i allowed hosp burial, i wasnt so far along as u anyway, i was 10.5 weeks. i really wanted answers too. they still havent given me any results. ive tried chasing it down and no one seems to know when i will be told. i said yes to get some answers and havent got any.
i wasnt even told my having her to take away was an option, was just told sign this for hospital burial. i ws ok with this till recently, i took this option to help future kids so i hope it pays off, for want of a better phrase. either way we made the decision in good faith hon and did what we thought best xxx

 

[lilesMom]

just had a phone call fomr my doc office, it is so silly i thought she was joking,
u know the way they lost my first blood test i waited 3 weeks for and ordered a retest.
they have now lost the retest. how incompetent are they at the lab. how can i even trust test results when they cant even hang onto the bloody sample to begin with ( excuse the pun ) . MORONS .
i am so glad its today they rang and told me cos i feel way less sick today , if they had told me before now i be bawling
my doc said they sent it along with the normal form they send, they were sent back the form today saying no sample recieved , she would hardly sent an empty form and no blood sample. i think someone some where likes my blood and is drinking it, must be tasty. and how idd it take um so long to realise they didnt have the sample so?idiots. irsh health system sucks big time.

 

[lilesMom]

bethany i was bored and we were on about angel cards yest so i pulled 3 for u.
1) GO FOR IT : your prayers and positive expectations have been heard and answered, we watch over u and all involved on ur present path , stay on this course and u will succeed .
2) SEE ONLY LOVE : look past the seeming errors, mistakes, and misunderstandings and see only the love in each person ( including urself). focusing on love brings about healing .
3) CLEANSE AND DETOXIFY : with great love and respect we ask u to detoxify ur precious and sensitive body. at your request we will help u to develop life affirming ways to deal with stress and ease any sorrows, give us ur cares, worries and concerns, and feel the grace of ur newly purified body .

 

[Posey]

Hello everyone. I hope you don't mind if I join you on here My hubby and I have been ttc#1 since last October, hubby was dx with severe teratospermia (100% abnormal morphology) in April, but our doc was very encouraging for us to keep trying, we might fall preggo naturally...and low and behold we conceived in April! I started spotting at 11.5 weeks however, and U/S confirmed our wee baby had stopped developing at 9wks4days. I had a D&C at exactly 12 weeks, we took one month off trying again, and have began this month. FX

I do have a question, I wonder if anyone knows?... I chart my temps and cm (don't we all , and last cycle (when I conceived) I had both an implantation dip and a triphasic temp pattern... should I be expecting this to happen again, or might it be totally different this time around? I'm 7dpo right now, and feel like if I don't see a dip, I must be out...

thank you for reading, and I'll be praying for us all.

 

[lilesMom]

hi posey, welcome hon, sorry for ur loss. i dont chart im afraid but maybe horseypants r jen r someone can help u xxxx hope so
fx for u for bfp x

 

[jen435]

Laura im soo sorry whats wrong with them! Makes me so angry! We just want ur results and its like faith is saying no im so glad ur feeling better though! Maybe ur bodies getting better and results will come back good. Hugs hang in there. Good things are coming its just so hard to have patience.

Arronswife our sons were same age kinda i found out at 18.5 weeks that we had to terminate and at 20.5 weeks is when i was induced...i to had testing done and was given no anwsers. They told me his chromosomes where fine he definately had heterotaxy syndrome with twisted intestines stomach on wrong side of body no vena cava no spleen.... His heart had no left ventrical it was completely closed no chamber what so ever and they called his heart defect hypoplastic left ventricalar heart syndrome. Broke my heart the couldnt have saved my son or tell me anything of what caused it. With my blood type the rh factor plays into so much that my and the babys blood can fight. I dont quite get it though. Im so sorry you coulsnt find anwsers except for the bloodclot but maybe it will help u to know ur not alone and we understand. i hope ur bloodclot is gone and u go of to a healthy happy pregnancy soon.
Bethany to you!
Horseypants any news? Cd 1 for me. So grateful to finally know and for another chance.... Cycle 4 off ttc since d&c. Hoping #4 is the charm! Praying for your bfp still!