TTC after loss - over 40 - any takers? Our lucky thread - 9 rainbows and 1 BFP

[Oasis717]

Aw bless her she looks so peaceful. She's beautiful. Your hormones will settle in time I'm sure. I was all over the place after my last two. I'm all over the place now tbh I'm so scared of labour because of the trauma of last time. Worried about so many things inc leaving Casey etc though of course he loves his nanny Linda to pieces but the last time we didn't have him was our wedding night. I'm also worried about the massive change in my life as welcome as it is I find it quite overwhelming so I do understand. The not knowing when is hard too as with my OCD I like to remain in control and one of the things you can never control is when labour will start! So am feeling a little anxious this past week as it gets closer and closer xxx

 

[Creative]

Caitlin is adorable. I do wish I could have a cuddle!

one of the things you can never control is when labour will start! So am feeling a little anxious this past week as it gets closer and closer xxx

It would be wonderful if you could!

 

[Oasis717]

Lol I totally agree! If only xxx

 

[crysshae]

Lisa, she's so beautiful and looks so peaceful sleeping. I hope she gets that weight back on quickly and your hormones settle soon.

Becks, I hope your anxiety is bearable. I know exactly how you are feeling right now.

 

[dancareoi]

A section isn't ideal but at least we knew exactly when we were having her, so we could organise the other kids.

DH has booked docs appointment for next week about having the snip!

 

[Oasis717]

Thank you Crystal, just trying to busy myself to distract myself from it most of the time. I wish I hadn't had such a bad time with Casey cause its really made me anxious. Hope you're feeling as ok as you can, totally know how you feel too x.

 

[garfie]

Hi Ladies

I finally got my results from my DNC (June) after being told twice everything was all okay

He was a beautiful baby boy with trisomy for chromosome 22 - my little angel

So today I am feeling really sad - mainly because I was coming to terms with the loss and also because I had convinced myself that I was unable to carry girls

Now what?

I have some serious decisions to make - hubby has said it doesn't change anything - but I feel it does



X

 

[josie1234]

Garf, to you hun

I have just had to look that up, although it gives you a reason why it happened, it still does not ease the pain.

Becks - yes unfortunately, labour is not something we can control but hopefully (like pregnancy), labour can be different each time so fingers crossed for you hun.

Lisa - how does DH feel about the snip? Hope you are ok, I can imagine that it will be a tough day for you emotionally. Caitlin is so beautiful, you are so blessed x

Any more news on Xanth?

How's everyone else?

 

[josie1234]

Becks - with regard to your comment on over-exercising, it is definitely something to consider. I was supposed to take kettlebells class tonight (covering for someone else) but rang up this morning and said I couldn't do it. Due to the summer holidays and people being away I have done quite a few more than I normally do so hopefully my cycle will be a bit better this month...or at least show some ovulation?? Fingers crossed

 

[Left wonderin]

Garfie what a shock to gt after being told differently I had a friend who at her 20 week scan her baby was diagnosed with trisomy ... It was a little girl not comparable with life , she carried her for 27 weeks and she was stillborn on Christmas Eve just gone . Sometimes there are no reasons for these things .

New reasarch indicates that over 70% of ALL WOMEN'S EGGS have abnormalities so really it is a miracle when we catch a healthy one !!! Please don't give up hope , you will get your rainbow , I just know it !! Xxxxxxx

I'm sure the news you got brought it all back like it was yesterday , it will take time to come to terms with the news , be kind to yourself and don't make any decisions right now xxxxxxxxx

 

[dancareoi]

Garf, to you hun

I have just had to look that up, although it gives you a reason why it happened, it still does not ease the pain.

Becks - yes unfortunately, labour is not something we can control but hopefully (like pregnancy), labour can be different each time so fingers crossed for you hun.

Lisa - how does DH feel about the snip? Hope you are ok, I can imagine that it will be a tough day for you emotionally. Caitlin is so beautiful, you are so blessed x

Any more news on Xanth?

How's everyone else?

He wants to get it done. I'm not so sure, it just seems so final. I know I'll be upset when he gets it done, although I know it is he right decision it still doesn't make it easy .

Not heard from Sarah (xanth ) i was texting her last night but didnt want to bother her today. On her thread someone else posted they has texted her this morning and she was waiting in her waters been broken.

 

[crysshae]

Fiona -

Jo - Good luck. I hope slacking off a little on exercise gives you positive results!

Becks - Like Jo said, every labor is different. I had a hard time with one of my twins due to not being able to find his heartbeat and my cervix closing up after the first was born to apparently hang out and wait on the second to move down. We couldn't wait since his heartbeat couldn't be found. It took about a year to actually feel healed after that, but my 4-year-old was easy as pie to deliver.

Lisa - My DH has said he was going to get snipped after my last 2 pregnancies and has never done it. Once the baby is here, he forgets about it. I know it will be a difficult day for you.

70% are abnormal? That's kinda crazy...but strangely it makes me feel a bit better about my situation right now. I'm beginning to wonder if I have that "super fertile" thing where my body allows any fertilized egg to implant, only to figure out a few days later it's not healthy.

I hope Sarah is doing great today!

 

[Left wonderin]

I know seems really high its new research re Ivf and why rates are so poor , they found that they put back not healthy fertilised eggs with genetic mutations . They now can test the egg so that only healthy eggs are put forward to fertalise, increasing Ivf chance from what they are now which is 1 in 4 to 2.5 in 4 !

 

[dancareoi]

Had a text from Sarah his morning. She had a c-section and has given birth to a girl weighing 7lb 9oz. Great news as she already has 3 boys !

 

[Left wonderin]

Awh what wonderful news we now have 2 rainbow princesses dance was thinking about it and I can only imagine what a big adjustment it must be to "not be pregnant " even though LO is here . Its a totally different mindset !! It's like being happy and sad all at once , happy for the new begining but sad for the loss of that phase , throw hormones in and wow !!!! Have the tissues ready !!! But I'm guessing and only guessing as as I never experienced it that the more you get to know your little girl and her personality the more the sadness will seem less xxxxxxx

 

[Creative]

It is lovely news. Pass on our love!!

 

[dancareoi]

Awh what wonderful news we now have 2 rainbow princesses dance was thinking about it and I can only imagine what a big adjustment it must be to "not be pregnant " even though LO is here . Its a totally different mindset !! It's like being happy and sad all at once , happy for the new begining but sad for the loss of that phase , throw hormones in and wow !!!! Have the tissues ready !!! But I'm guessing and only guessing as as I never experienced it that the more you get to know your little girl and her personality the more the sadness will seem less xxxxxxx

You have explained it perfectly. It's like Christmas, you look forward to something for so long and then it's an anti climax. I know that sounds funny because I am so happy she is here safe and well, bit on the other hand sad to no be pg.

When I had my first nearly 12 years ago I never felt like this as I knew we would have another.

However when my dd was born nearly 9 years ago, I knew the day I had her I wanted to do it all again , but DH was happy with 2, so that's when it a started, that feeling of longing which we a know. Of wanting to be pg and have anothe baby.

I felt like that for 5 years until my DS was born. For a while after him I was content and even gave away all my girls clothes , but then those feelings started to come back and here we are again.

If we did have another I know I would feel the same again so you have to draw a line sometime and that time is now.

Also we can't risk a repeat of the last 2 years and to through all that again.

So as I say, my heart wants to desperately keep going but my head says no!

 

[Creative]

I always wanted another too and was insanely jealous of my sisters pregnancies. I always thought it just wouldn't fit into our family though with financial, size of accomodation car etc. I think that God thought differently though and the timing is really amazing of this one as Ollie has now gone off to uni etc. Our living situation will be a bit unconventional and yes, I am old with wrinkles and grey hairs, but I feel so blessed and positive about it. I'd love another after this, but do realise that it would be a little silly for us for so many reasons and we need to be there for our child as it grows up. Chris is 52 so will be 72 when this one reaches 20!

 

[dancareoi]

I always wanted another too and was insanely jealous of my sisters pregnancies. I always thought it just wouldn't fit into our family though with financial, size of accomodation car etc. I think that God thought differently though and the timing is really amazing of this one as Ollie has now gone off to uni etc. Our living situation will be a bit unconventional and yes, I am old with wrinkles and grey hairs, but I feel so blessed and positive about it. I'd love another after this, but do realise that it would be a little silly for us for so many reasons and we need to be there for our child as it grows up. Chris is 52 so will be 72 when this one reaches 20!

I think you are thinking like me. Would love just to keep going but sensibly know that you do have to stop at some point

All ours are still at home but luckily we have a 5 bed house so at least we can all have our own rooms.

Car wise we have a Hyundai sante fe which has 2 extra seats if needed in boot, so we will have to use 1 of these which gives hardly any boot space.

We are still using DS travel system which is nearly 12 years old do is quite big. We are going to Wales on October so pushchair and Moses basket will take up all the space!

 

[Oasis717]

Yes please pass on our love. Two rainbow princesses now we need a rainbow prince! I think all the while you think you can have another it's ok but when you know you can't it's entirely different and a kind of a little loss in itself. I've had friends experience the same with having a hysterectomy although their family was complete having that choice removed completely still needs time to grieve for. Xxx.