Hey ladies! I just turned 42, lost my first and only pregnancy in july 12, would have been due in February 13... Everytime AF has come roaring round these last 3 months (and thankfully its here and still regular) instead of normal PMS ive been having extreme pregnancy symptoms. Bloating and distention, nausea tingling nipples, backache, headache and oddly enough, belching, all of which I had when preggo. And its distressing hoping, hoping then the first flush of red on the tissue washes all the hope away. Today feeling like it might not happen, that i left it too late. Focused on going to college and starting a career and marrying a good guy (who turned out not to be a good guy 14 years later). I thought I was being smart, avoiding becoming a statistic, I didnt want to be like my mom, pregnant and unmarried at 15 (even though she was extremely fertile, 10 live healthy births). So I waited, and waited thru college and jobs, marriage and divorce. I had finally reached the stage in my life at age 40 where I was accepting I might be alone for the rest of it, that I might not have children when I meet this exceptional man, this good and honorable man and without even trying, totally an oops moment-- I get pregnant. I want to have this man's child so badly it hurts, and he loves me sooo much it amazes me everyday he puts up with my mountains of shit and loves me still. Give me hope that I might still have my little family, that Whoever is in charge will be kind to us.
x
