TTC after loss - over 40 - any takers? Our lucky thread - 9 rainbows and 1 BFP

[Oasis717]

Thank you all so much you made me cry reading those posts xxxxxx

 

[tillyttc]

Awwww we've all been there Hun we all know how low you must be feeling ! And just want to be there as much as we can , how you feeling today chick ? Xxx

 

[Oasis717]

Thanks Tilly feelin pretty devastated, even though my instinct told me from day 1 nothing was right I couldn't help hope you know? No more red it was only once but lots brown discharge so prob only a matter of time, feel like such a bloody failure! So cross with my body it just keeps letting me down xxxxx

 

[tillyttc]

Your not a failure plz don't think that just the right little bean hasn't landed yet and it will and it will be beautiful when it does just like Brooklyn like I said to my little girl when I mc in jan last year sum times they just don't have sticky bums to which she replyed can we use super glue was simple in her mind in my de visitation it made me smile xxx

 

[josie1234]

Tilly you are so right. Becks my heart goes out to you and you are not a failure. Although you don't feel it at the moment, you are a strong, lovely lady with a loving family. Give them big hugs and tell them how much you love them. You are not alone, you have bnb family and your family at home. Xxxx

 

[Oasis717]

Tilly that was so lovely it bought tears to my eyes but it made me smile too xxxx
Jo I hope we can get through this, its so hard not knowing if the baby isn't OK I wish I knew its all the not knowing! Trying to get things into perspective but it just hurts so much that's the bloody problem! Xxx

 

[Serenjay]

Becks you're not a failure, yes we feel a failure..but its nature saying there was something wrong..... take time out to heal and have you tried counselling? I had counselling for my recurrent mc and it helped me lots xx

 

[Oasis717]

I just need to make sure T first til it turns bright red there's a small, tiny bit of me hoping but I know that's daft, dh bought me a couple of tests in Asda cause I've been using these since the beginning, doesn't mean anything I know xxx

 

[Serenjay]

Oh there is still hope then!! xx

 

[tillyttc]

Did you just do that Hun ? Been thinking back I went for a reasurence scan at 7 weeks and I remember a slight bleed the night before was red then turned to brown took myself off to bed was expecting the worsed the next day at my scan all was fine and that test is super I never got alone like that on those tests how's the bleeding now Hun. . Xxx

 

[Oasis717]

Yes just did that I know I was expecting it to be lighter, and my wee wasn't super concentrated, I know it doesn't mean much as you can get positives after mc but I was still expecting a bit lighter, thank you. Its the cramping/dragging that worries me the most, still brown/pinky discharge only on wiping not enough yet to go on a pad, this is all so stressful! Xx

 

[Oasis717]

Thanks T if it wasn't for the pains id think so too xx

 

[tillyttc]

Mmmmmmm I would just take it easy Hun put ya feet up chill out ! That's a pretty good line my loss in jan never got that dark and had gone in 24 hour and my digi went from pregnant to not pregnant over night ! That's test of yours is the darkest you've done so far I would say ! What dpo are you roughly and wot would you expect on a digi . Xxx

 

[josie1234]

Take it easy Becks, yes that is a good line so fingers crossed xxx

 

[Oasis717]

I'm 26dpo and its the darkest I've had so far, wish id held my wee longer but since then the pains got a bit worse and the discharge is bright red then brown then red. So despite the test I think its just getting progressively worse xxx thanks Jo I'm putting my feet up as I write but I haven't got much hope after seeing the bright red, so unfair isn't it xxxx

 

[Serenjay]

Aww becks xxxx

 

[Oasis717]

I know I really don't think there's any hope its gone from beige cm to brown to bright red and I've had period pains since yest aft but its still not enough ATM to go on a pad, had to stop wiping cause it was making me sore think I just need to accept it wasn't to be, neither of us are sure we want to try again after 5 losses but both agreed we won't decide just yet. I'm sure this is your rainbow though T everything sounds fantastic and I'm so very pleased for you love xxxxxxxx

 

[Serenjay]

I just feel so sad for you xx

I would go and have a long soak in a warm bubbly bath and some gentle music xx

Thanks hun... I have the most painful boobs in the world tonight... its them that remind me when I forget for a moment. xxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Beck's sorry was at work so not around to offer my hand or sholder today
That test is the darkest you have had yet . By far . I don't want to give you false hope as it is just not helpful but I don't think you can call it just yet .

All you can do is do your best to get through each hour/ day until you can get some certainty one way or the other .. And stop wiping ! Ouch !
I think you and oh re very wise not to make any big decisions for now

All my love xxx

 

[crysshae]