TTC Chill out room

[ellieb31]

Hi Everyone

After 18 months ttc and getting more and more worked up each month, I have decided to take a different approach next month and stop stressing about it. I spend each tww on an emotional rollercoaster, desperately symptom spotting, trying to comfort myself when I get a BFN and convince myself that I might get a different result the next day or with a different test. I seem to think that if I can plan things down to the tiniest detail then it'll be my month but mother nature just doesn't work like that.

Well no more! No more OPK's, no more HPK's before AF is late, no charting teps, CM and CP, no supplements (other than folic acid) or softcups. No nothing other than regular BD'ing and enjoying the process. Maybe it'll take a little bit longer but I think the benefit to the baby of not having a mum who is stressed to the max for the first few weeks will be well worth it and maybe it won't take any longer - they say stress can damage your chances after all. And hopefully I won't turn into a crazy bundle of nerves in the mean time! I really don't want to end up depressed when I'm doing something which is the most natural thing in the world.

If there's anyone else out there who wants to take a step away from all of the pressure and disappointment of ttc, please come and join me! We can still support each other through the highs and lows of this journey, just without the pressure of daily temping, CP and CM charting, supplement on top of supplement, BDing to a pattern etc etc.

I really hope that this doesn't offend anyone - I don't mean to undermine what you are doing or why you are doing it and we have all walked different paths to get where we are today. I just want to try something different before ttc takes over my life.

 

[snl41296]

good for you..... its so hard not to stress. I wanted to try that same thing but instead I am doing acucpunture evry week helps me so much I love it. I dont stress out TTC i dont really care about that. its the 2ww that I stress over and test every day untill af shows... its crazy... good luck

 

[ellieb31]

Thanks SNL! I can't imagine having accupunture - I'm not scared of needles but the idea does freak me out a bit! I might think about regular massages during the tww though! I'm bad for testing before AF is due as well and I think it's that which has been driving me crazy a lot at the moment. Thank god my IC's have nearly run out.

 

[Groovychick]

It sounds like an excellent idea!

 

[ellieb31]

Thanks Groovychick - I was really worried that I would offend people which is the last thing I want to do! I just want to stop myself going crazy in the process because I'm obsessing a bit!

How are you today? Do you get really painful AF?

Mine's due on Saturday and I'm not looking forward to it. I don't like taking many painkillers but I always end up needing them when AF is visiting!

 

[Groovychick]

I highly doubt you would offend anyone. After all, everyone has their individual ways of going about conceiving and this is just one of them. There's nothing wrong with trying this method. And as you said previously, its much better to be relaxed than stressed!

At present I am just waiting for AF to arrive. She was due yesterday but has not yet made an appearance. It is incredibly frustrating but I just have to keep reminding myself that this a gradual process and not one that should be rushed.

 

[ellieb31]

I've still got a couple of days until I'm due and I'm getting loads of pain already It varies from stabbing pains in my ovaries to cramping pains in my womb. I know that once she arrives I'll have a couple of really bad days and then it'll ease off so I just wish it would arrive already! I have a history of endo but my last surgery was in March so I know that it's not endo causing the pain - I can only assume that it's because I'm still healing although my main issue had been pain during sex and that's completely gone now. Maybe since I'm in so much pain now AF will arrive a bit early - these things aren't set in stone after all.

How long have you been ttc and is it your first?

 

[strawberry19]

hey hunni were doing the chilled our relaxed approach too .. again!.. it worked for us the first time we just didnt get a uber sticky bean so it does work... fingers crosed for everyone x

 

[snl41296]

i have learned on here that these woman are truley amazing... I have been on tons of boards and they just start to change get snotty, bitchy and more. they are nothing like you girls.
I needed to step back from all the other boards and step bck from the stress. I was so bad i hated my dh for not doing it when we had too. I am sooooooooooo different now. i started going to church, I had my reading from gail, and i go to acucpunture. I was so bad that I didnt get af march. the stress got to me and my body bad. so now I dont care. whatever happens happens for reason. when dh wants to bd we bd. he wants a baby, we are ttc for 3 months (this is month 3) it happend with my dd in 2 months. we are trying a new postion as well. just from behind. try this for a few months, then he said he will go for a sa in sept if I am not pg by then. just chill relax and I am sure something will happen. I almost ruined everything about us b/c i was obssessed BAD. not a good feeling beign with someone 14 yrs. so i can go on and on and blabber lol but thats my story

 

[ellieb31]

i have learned on here that these woman are truley amazing... I have been on tons of boards and they just start to change get snotty, bitchy and more. they are nothing like you girls.
I needed to step back from all the other boards and step bck from the stress. I was so bad i hated my dh for not doing it when we had too. I am sooooooooooo different now. i started going to church, I had my reading from gail, and i go to acucpunture. I was so bad that I didnt get af march. the stress got to me and my body bad. so now I dont care. whatever happens happens for reason. when dh wants to bd we bd. he wants a baby, we are ttc for 3 months (this is month 3) it happend with my dd in 2 months. we are trying a new postion as well. just from behind. try this for a few months, then he said he will go for a sa in sept if I am not pg by then. just chill relax and I am sure something will happen. I almost ruined everything about us b/c i was obssessed BAD. not a good feeling beign with someone 14 yrs. so i can go on and on and blabber lol but thats my story

I know what you mean. I always thought that the ttc journey would be exciting and bring us closer together if anything. Instead I've ended up so wound up that I'm having to put on a happy face with DH because I don't want him to know how much it's been getting to me (and he told me right at the beginning not to get obsessed - he knows me too well!!) I want this to be a pleasure rather than a chore and source of stress and I feel like a weight has been lifted by making that decision. Funny to think that a couple of days ago I was thinking of temping but now it's the last thing I want to do!

 

[ellieb31]

hey strawbs, pleased to have you here! really hope that this will result in lots of lovely BFP's and good conversation while we all wait!

good luck with your next try, will the docs be keeping a close eye on you or do they not do that until it's become a repeat problem? (if you know what I mean)

 

[gilz82]

Hi guys

I'm planing to use OPKs this cycle just so i'm aware of when i OV cos i don't get EWCM or any other symptoms, but after that i'm done too.

No more temping, no POAS until i really should, no over analyising etc etc

I don't imagine it'll be easy for me because i'm a planner by nature, but i've realised i need to let go, i'm getting stressed and that will be doing all of the wrong things for my body.

So glad you ladies feel the same, hopefully we'll all get our s doing it the way nature intended.


xx

 

[ellieb31]

Hi guys

I'm planing to use OPKs this cycle just so i'm aware of when i OV cos i don't get EWCM or any other symptoms, but after that i'm done too.

No more temping, no POAS until i really should, no over analyising etc etc

I don't imagine it'll be easy for me because i'm a planner by nature, but i've realised i need to let go, i'm getting stressed and that will be doing all of the wrong things for my body.

So glad you ladies feel the same, hopefully we'll all get our s doing it the way nature intended.


xx

Hi gilz!

I used OPK's the last few cycles and they are useful for learning about your body. I seem to ov the same day each month and I get little stabbing pains so I don't think I need to use them anymore.

So pleased to see there are other people feeling the same way about ttc as me!

xx

 

[africaqueen]

Im deffo with you on my next cycle if the witch gets me, which seems quite likely ;-)
We are getting nowhere stressing and trying and when i did get my bfp last time, we were not trying that cycle as we were too busy planning our wedding and were sooo busy. So if not trying actively worked once, i pray it can work again with a better outcome god willing.

xxx

 

[inkdchick]

good luck girls the chill out mode is the best , no temping no charting, just let mother nature do her thing after you have done yours !!!!!!!!!! xxx

 

[Chloe's mum02]

I'm with you girls.... although I do find it very hard to chill out about it!!
I think trying to be more relaxed about it is definately a positive

Amy xx

 

[ellieb31]

I really hope the witch doesn't get you!

I'm sure mine's on the way but it means my next ov will be when we're in Tunisia for a week so I don't think you can ask for better circumstances than that for trying to conceive!

I think having something else to focus on, like your wedding, really does help. We've been doing a lot of work on the garden recently and I might start thinking about when we could decorate the hallway - not as exciting as a wedding but it's good to keep busy with other stuff!

 

[ellieb31]

Sorry, my last post was to africa!

Chilled is definitely the way to go!! xx

 

[Mrs Luck]

I'm also trying for the more chilled out approach from now on. Been ttc 6months and I definately was not prepared for how stressed out it would make me feel, and how disappointed every month that goes by without getting preggers. Ive also done the whole argueing with the hubby thing - well more me just getting mad and then crying , just because I felt like all the pressure was on me, as Im the one who is constantly aware and thinking about how my body is feeling.

Anyway last month when af arrived I was hugely dissappointed and I just thought to myself I can't possible carry on putting all this pressure and stress on myself, its not healthy. Like you ladies I decided to give myself a break this month, bding whenever I felt like it, kept busy redecorating in tww, and Im now waiting for af to arrive (prob later to tonite as is usually like clockwork) and I don't feel like bursting into tears! Yey! n thats a real result for me cos Im a super stress head!!! x

 

[xxBubsxx]

Ellie, I think this is a great idea and just what I need. I love BnB but find all the symptom spotting stuff way too addictive!

I am on CD2 and after a heart-to-heart with my husband I've realised I need to get a grip on things. We've been trying for 10 months now and every month I'm getting more and more stressed during TWW and more depressed when period arrives. I know if I continue like this he's going to want to stop trying - he hates seeing me like this- and I'm goin to drive myself nuts. I wish I could be more like him and just enjoy it but think I'm a control freak by nature!

Eil
xoxox